How talented, how coordinated does one have to be in order to be able to stay upright on a treadmill at 3.6 mph anyway? I'm not that off-balanced really - - well, not at the treadmill! I can walk and chew gum, but I do usually end up spitting it out after it loses its flavor. I'm bored easily I guess.
I work out every day now at the fitness center and because it's fast and easy to do, I walk about 3 miles a day on the treadmill. I do this before I do the strength exercises for a couple of reasons; one I'm putting off what I know will be humiliating and painful, and secondly, I like to get all the kinks out of my system before I have to stare at myself in the mirror while lifting weights and doing the machine work. WHO IN THE WORLD decided that fitness centers needed wall-to-wall ceiling-to-floor mirrors anyway? Please! If I'm not grossing out from what I am seeing right in front of me I'm grossing out at the woman behind me bending over to pick up her towel or something - - ewwww.
So, I do the gym every day and like everyone else in the world I seem to like to zone out and just walk along the rubber path while listening to whatever is on the iPod right? Only I had the big fat Classic and it was heavy and I couldn't wear it on my arm because it slipped off it's path from my weak and flabby bicep to the corner of my elbow, throwing me off balanced. When I tried to correct myself I fell OFF the treadmill and over my bag - - not joking, OFF the treadmill! That could be dangerously embarrassing and possibly harmful so I made a really fast decision - - I made this decision immediately following the words that can get you kicked out of the community fitness center!
I decided to buy a tiny little clip on iPod for a little over $40 and not only LOOK cool and like I fit in, but I can move my arms about now without pulling on the long dragging cords and without feeling the heavy five-pound iPod Classic (actual weight not five-pounds no matter how many songs you upload. I'm being dramatic) on my arm! The itty-bitty little clip may only hold 120 songs, but Dwight Yoakum doesn't have more than 20 that I want to listen to really anyway! I would have killed myself in the 90's if someone had told me I'd be a Dwight fan! Actually, he's good to work out to - great to dance to - - yep, he and John Mellencamp have that in common. Say it, I'm old. I'm OK with that -- I have New Found Glory on my little pink clipper too! HA!
Finding out that the bruises on the top of my hands actually did come from the day I smacked my hands one right after the other when the iPod attacked me was an amazing thing. I know I'm not the only victim to have suffered this fate and I know also that it didn't take me very long to change the world around me. NO SIR, you change the way you look at things, change the way you respond to the actions presented to you, and your whole world changes! RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES! Now when I get the urge to glimpse at the mirror in the fitness center I remember to stop, focus on the end goal and no matter what my eyes see or tell me they see, I see the size 8 body that will be there soon and I see the size 8 body that will be dancing on that pole at the Mule Lip bar in Mingus, TX someday! It will happen Amy Jo! I will be down to represent Oklahoma in the old-ladies-can-still-do-that category! You watch!
(You bring the aspirin too, but you watch!)
Gotta go, I have a little practice to put in.
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