My daughter Laura and I usually play the lottery twice a week. I call it my twice-a-week contribution to the educational programming of our state. Not that I truly believe much of my $2.00 ($4.00 weekly) goes toward the educational path of any of the students in Oklahoma, but I like to believe that I can put a little faith in the word of our politicians - - just a little.
Well, let me tell you how close we came today to winning over $133,000,000 - - not so close! I mentioned to Laura that I was going out to get a ticket or two, and she jumped at the chance to make up a few guesses, good guesses, and to come up with something that would simply have to win. There must be a systematic way, a reasoning behind the numbers drawn, pulled, or chosen - - there has to be, right? I mean after all the shaking, rolling, bumping around in a big bin, there must be some sort of mathematical equation someone could come up with -- or just dumb luck. We'll go wit that. Laura thought about her numbers and she came up with them: 5, 17, 23, 25, 53, and the powerball number of 33. At the same time she was coming up with her numbers on the couch, I was making up my own numbers at the dining room table. We were about 15 feet apart, and I couldn't see her numbers and she couldn't see mine. I came up with: 2, 11, 17, 22, 53, and the powerball of 1. I won't tell you my algorithm how I came up with those particular numbers...trust me, I'd look like a geek for telling you.
Off I went to the store, I wrote out the numbers, I paid the man, I even bought cigars just in case. Afterall, we had 2 numbers come up the exact same, and then look at the first number. I said 2, she said 5. That's not far off. She said 23, I said 22....that's close. We must have been thinking on nearly the same plane....wow, that's a scary thought. So...after waiting and waiting, and waiting...what were the numbers? Well - 20, 24, 37, 48, and 53....and the powerball was 11. But, if you think about it, we got 53! Herbie! We both said 53, and we both love Herbie the Lovebug...Laura looks like Lindsay, and I owned 11 white Volkswagens between 1980-1986. (Told you I was a geek)
OK SO WHAT..I didn't win. Not that big of a deal. What's $133,000,000 anyway, not much in today's economy. Not after you think of the buy out of only $79,000,000 and then tax on that being another $22,000,000 - I'd end up with just around $57,000,000 and that would just about cover the cost of a good education, a house, a couple of cars, maybe a vacation, a little nest egg...wow, actually, I could think of a lot of things I could do with that money! My kids would have no problem helping me spend it either. I would hope that I would have the wherewithal to at least NOT tell anyone I had actually won until the money was safely invested. My mom told me once that if I won a large sum of money someone would steal my kids and demand ransom - RANSOM, that was a good movie...I liked the bad guy, had a great voice. Anyway...back to the kids. Sure, someone might try; but it would only mean one thing. I wouldn't have to split the money with the brats and I could go to Europe and start over! Completely over!
Oh, I'm joking, you know I am..I'll probably never get the chance to actually pay someone any real money for my kid's return, but if that Jimmy guy shows up demanding something of me, I'm totally giving in. (She smiles an evil sort of wicked little smile that says so much without actually opening her mouth much.)