Most of you already know that my son Reuben is serving in the U.S. Army as a Tanker. He's officially driving a tank-like vehicle called the Stryker, which has wheels rather than chains to move around on, but nevertheless, he's out there protecting you and me from - himself mostly I think.
The boy calls me at all hours of the night and he tells me things that for the most part could easily wait, however, if he waited I would be getting ready for work, and he'd be in formation. So, it stands to reason (reason?) that he would call me at 2:15 a.m. to tell me that he has successfully broken barricades, alluded the good guys, and that he made it into the barracks, which for him (because his role yesterday was that of the bad guy) was a coup! Sad for the U.S. Army perhaps because they allowed the "enemy" to infiltrate - he pretended to set bombs (water balloons) and he wired the place before successfully escaping as well. Such a bad boy! Or in his case, a good enemy. He achieved his goal - and he was rewarded for it. He gets to watch an NFL game sometime in the fall. He's storing these prizes in a journal, making the C.O. sign each of them so he can prove it when the time comes. (The boy essentially became a traitor to see the Green Bay Packers!)
Because my son has studied the ways of the Spartans for years, because he has trained himself to be a tough and immovable soldier, because he has memorized every last word and deed of the movie "300" - he was able to not only take out 8 American soldiers who were forced to go through a small tunnel to find him, he was also able to sneak into the barracks and set off his water balloons. He told me he was nice and didn't blow up anything worthwhile like papers, or things that would be ruined. (Such a nice terrorist)
So, when the REAL U.S. Army soldiers came back from their defeat at the tunnel to find that their barracks had been destroyed by enemy fire - they were sad - however, they agreed that having Reuben on the U.S. side was a good thing and they're going to let him stay a little longer. In fact, he's going to get to explain Spartacus to everyone that will pay attention. I asked him last night to put the Spartans in a line up - to compare them with the football team positions that I know he has created for them on his PS2 - where are they? They are, as he told me, every lineman, every safety, every offensive guard - because they don't really need defense as well as they do offense - however, he placed 4 on the defensive side just in case a good soldier from another group did make it through - you have to be covered at all times.
For about 44 minutes I listened to the excited panting and hooting of the boy - telling me how he's going to be able to watch 3 NFL games so far, and with the "kill" he was able to perform yesterday, he'll be able to get into the sate lite room and see OU play Texas. It was worth it to him to become a terrorist - for the day - just for play. I asked him what he used to kill everyone, and he said a cycle! Gotta love that technology! At least it wasn't the jawbone of an ass....which I haven't told him about, because I fear what he may do to a local burro. (Just kidding)
Congrats on the war my boy! (By the way, he wasn't alone, he had a few other Spartans with him, and that begs the question: Did they call their mothers at 2:15 and explain Greek warfare to them in detail, or was that just mine?) :O