Grahame! My New Leopard Gecko!

 My daughter and I rescue, and we also foster, but today, I decided to buy! I mean, technically, I bought Bob too, but he ended up being a foster paid, because he just didn't fit in with the rest of the group and no matter what we did with or for him, he wasn't thriving. We don't keep an animal that won't thrive, as it's not fair to the animal. We find a good home for them, one where they can be utilized, loved, played with, and handled a bit more than what we can do (that is IF the animal requires it). 

    This happens sometimes. Our sweet Isabella, the Bearded Dragon that we accepted as a rescue, was also rehomed recently due to her depression.  I know, that sounds funny to say that a lizard could be or would be depressed, but she was.  She is now with a teacher who takes her to school every Friday so the kids can learn and the lizard can be stimulated. During the week the teacher takes Issy out and puts her on her shoulder while she grades papers. She wouldn't do that with me, which on one hand is sad, but on the other, it opened up an opportunity for her to go to another good home.

    Today, because I had a hankering for another Leopard lizard-like Bob (Robert the Bruce), I went to PetCo and picked out another Leopard Gecko that looks remarkably like Bob in some ways, but he's his own character as well. He came from the same breeder. LepGecks are really super easy to care for. Most of the time they are outgoing and want to be handled. Bob was possibly bullied by a tank mate or perhaps he was not separated during feeding and had to fend for himself. Either way, this is why LepGecks are separated at around 10-12 weeks. I bought Bob at 15-16 weeks, and he was still enclosed with others.  Boys will be boys no matter what they are, and Bob was bullied (probably). 

    My new LepGeck is going to stay with me. I hope to have him out of the enclosure on a daily basis. He will eventually be trusted to sit on my head and shoulder while I type and work. I'll leave the cats and dogs out of the room of course, and the doors will be closed. He'll grow to be a bit bigger than his friend Leaf, who is Laura's female LepGeck. She's had Leaf for right at a year; we bought her and Bob together but from different stores. They were side by side in their cages for about three months, but Bob just wasn't a happy camper. When they were together he was OK, but Leaf wasn't thrilled about it. You can't enable a clinger like Bob, and he was found a new home with a couple of kids who really think he's the greatest. They live in an apartment and can't have a dog or cat, but they can have a LepGeck! He's doing well. I check on him from time to time.

    We've accepted, rescued, fostered, and rehabbed over a dozen reptiles in the past year I suppose. I loved little Stirling, the ball python. I wish I could have kept him really, but I don't do well with feeding live animals to other animals. He was a foster, and one I truly enjoyed, but I know if I ever buy another snake I'll have to get it really young and start it on frozen mice so I never have to end the life of a precious fur baby to feed another. I know there's a cycle of life, and I get that, but I'm just a weenie! Absolutely and certifiable. Just a weenie. I literally cry when I had to do that, and I can't do that to myself. 

    Grahame is named for Kenneth Grahame, the 19th Century children's literature author from Edinburgh, Scotland. He was born on March 8, 1859, but my LepGeck is only 10 weeks old, so he'll share Barry Gibb's birthday on September 1. Bob was lucky enough to have been born around the same time as Robert the Bruce's death day, so that became my lizard's birthday. I try to do that when I can. If not they get a 1st or a 22nd. The first, because it's easy to remember, and the 22nd because I am a 22nd baby, as is my dad, as is my son, as is my bestie, as is Maurice and Robin Gibb, as is my dog Faith, and my nephew! Goodness! Twenty seconds are fantabulous you know!

    If you have kids or grands and they need a good pet to start off with, the Leopard Gecko is truly an awesome starter pet. The entire rig from start to finish is around $200 if you do it correctly. You'll start off with a 10-gallon tank, and depending on the lizard, you could end up with a 40-gallon, but most of them can be easily contained in a 20. You'll need the proper hides, bowls, lamps, lights, and even a thermometer so you can properly gauge the heat which is set to one side of the cage, ideally where there is a place (rock or stick) stationary so they can bask.  You'll need foliage (plastic or silk) and you'll need something fun in the cage for it to play with, or just converse with, as they are solitary animals. I have a little ceramic horse and a couple of turtles (also clay or ceramic) that I picked up along the way. I'll post more photos on Instagram if you follow. 

    That's about it. I had a difficult time deciding which of the four lizards in the cage that I wanted to bring home with me today.  To choose I put my hand into the cage and let them all come around to sniff and see if they wanted to have anything to do with me. There was a very aggressive one that fought others off, he was a no-go.  I decided on the one that hung out in the corner watching me. He was neither scared nor forward. He was a thinker.  He watched and observed.  If he had been a musician he'd probably have been a guitarist, not a drummer.  He listened, kept his head down, and continued to watch from under his baseball cap; not wanting to seem obvious, but not wanting to miss out on anything. He was chosen.

    Grahame.  Gray-am. You do pronounce the first A.

Grahame is spotted and he could have tangerine and lavender colors in the future.

Grahame is the little one on the left, and Leaf is on the right. She is a lavender albino type and believe me, she's tiny for being a year. He'll likely grow to be substantially larger than she is now. She has probably stopped growing.

Sore for The Duration But I'm OK!

 That's why God made Advil!  I have a problem that many people can relate to. I was a younger person at one time; it's been quite a while since those days, but when I was younger I rode horses rather aggressively and I'm paying for it now through arthritis. Yes, it's true, time has finally caught up with me in terms of reminding me that age is not just a number, it is in fact a phase we all go through if we are lucky enough to have survived all the things that tried to kill us!

    Oh, let's be honest! It's not just that the horseback riding, slamming into barrels, or falling off onto my butt, hips, back, or head was an issue. When I was really little I would climb to the top of the church and jump to the ground. Now, mind you, I didn't actually climb to the TOP of the church, just the first story, and it was flat. Where I jumped was maybe 12 feet or so, it wasn't that far. I could usually remember to squat or even roll when I landed. I wasn't a complete moron! LOL...yes, I was.

    I work out now, and I have for a couple of years. I am an avid walker, and I lift weights. Since I live across the street from the YMCA, my daughter and I joined, but we only go about 3x a week, so the rest of the week is spent working out at home. Since it snowed last night, (seriously? It's mid-November!) I decided to ditch the walk and just do leg, butt, and gut work at home. Damn! I should remind myself to both take pain relievers and stretch before I stretch, and then wait on those pain relievers before I push, pull, lift, kick, and so forth. Boxing day is tomorrow, and that's my favorite. I have to stop myself actually, and only do 20 minutes because I could literally go on for an hour or so punching Bob in the face! (Bob is the rubber dummy I have, but I also have the red foam rubber thing too. I like boxing.

    Today, AFTER I did my workout at home, thinking I was finished and all I had to do was laundry, dishes, walk the dog, study for Series 66, and reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Scots Edition, my daughter springs it on me that we're going to the GYM! What? I ate a big breakfast! She was insistent. I complained, I even argued for something like a minute, but she had her headphones in while she was grabbing her hoodie and taking the house keys off the cute Dachshund keyholder by the door. She was staring at me, nodding her head, and sort of making that "Come on, out the door!" look.  FINE.  I went.

    I decided to just walk while she worked out, and that's cool, right? I was about six laps around the gym when I saw my favorite machine empty, no one was using it. OK sure, I'll just do a quick set of reps, and be done. No one does that. You find another machine, and another machine after that. You do a rep and think "That wasn't really that hard. I could do more" and you do it. You do more. Then you're really into it and blowing away all of your personal bests when your daughter walks up to you and says she's finished! Wow.  To think I used to breathe and make decisions on my own before I had kids.

    Winter is winter. It is what it is, but this is November 12th. Actually, it's pretty cool because the date is 1-1-1-2-2-2. That won't happen again.  My friend's daughter is getting married today. That's an awesome day to be getting married.  I think it may be a destination thing. I'm not going. I do wish her and her man a wonderful and full full full full life!  I hope Jeannie looks almost as pretty as the bride.  Winter is winter, but this is AUTUMN and I should not have to trek across snow, even if it is only 150 feet of it, to the YMCA in mid-November. Nope. It should be dry, it should be pretty. It should be airy, maybe a little breezy, but around 58 degrees, not hovering over 30 degrees where I can see my breath.  That's just wrong. I may need to pop another Advil, just sayin'.  My hip is telling me I need to do that.

    So, in the fall/autumn and winter, I do have an issue with the pains creeping up both in the joints and the muscles. Add to that the cold weather, add to that the workout, add to that the stretches and the stairs! I'm screaming over here. My right side has decided to turn itself over to the authorities and just take a break. I, the authority of my right side, have decided to soak for 30 minutes, drink green tea, down a few pain relievers, and massage my hips and thighs while trying to hold the Kindle in my left hand so I can finish reading Rob Roy so I can get to Harry Potter. It's a thing, I know. I have issues. Sir Walter and I go way way back. 

    Bob and I have a date tomorrow, don't we Bob?  Ha!  I'm gonna have so much fun with that guy - - headphones on, music cranked, gloves tight, and pop, pop, pop, pop, dance....dance...massage, fall over, and die, get back up and do it again. Bob laughs at me, but he doesn't have a leg to stand on in this case! (You know if you know)

    Photo Credit: Century Athletics ("Bob")

When is a Lie a Lie?

 Yeah, I know, I'm harping on this lie thing. When I get a sandbur up under my saddle it's hard to shake. Some things just need to be fleshed out and this is one of those things. You get lied about and you tear it apart. You go to the source, but the source is a big "I won't say what I want to say" type of person. He's really just dug his wee little shaved head into the beach and refuses to come up for air. He chooses to hang on to the tales and blasters he was told about me, and from this, he garners his perception(s) of me. OK, it didn't help that after he was garnering and being a boo, I did confront him about a personal life choice that he was not only making (and posting about) but that others (unbeknownst to him) were posting in deeper more insidious detail.  Some of the details they were posting were crude and I know this man would not have appreciated what I saw.  I personally prayed one man would take down a particularly harmful post, and to my relief he did. When I confronted the "Ass" as I am now prone to call him, he didn't thank me. I mean, I didn't really expect him to, but I didn't expect him to blast me, blame me, and then lie about me when in all reality, it was only the raw and naked truth. Lies are lies, and the truth is truth. He should check his besties next time; know who you're hanging with.

    When is a lie a lie?  When (if ever) is a lie OK to tell? I have asked this question any number of times when I first start off a semester at any of the colleges or universities where I have had the privilege to lecture. I may apply to the University of Edinburgh, or a college close to it, this may happen.  I stand at the front of the class on the 2nd day of class, as the first day is usually wrought with registration, attendance, rules, the handing out of the syllabus, and me trying to explain to the students exactly who it is that is standing before them.  Believe it or not, a lot of students have no idea which professor they've chosen, or who may have been chosen for them. 

    A lie is a lie when it is not the truth.  Does that mean it is a complete lie if it is not the complete truth? Well, in some ways the answer would have to be "Yes".  We may not like it, but it may be true. I suppose we as humans, like to put pressure on ourselves and give ourselves a bit of a reprieve now and again as well.  We say things like "Oh, that's just a little white lie". Why is a white lie less than a darker shade of untruth? Is that in and of itself a deception? I would say it is.  A lie is a lie when we know the fact but choose (openly) to cover it up, or dismiss the truth or fact. We choose, and we are not manipulated into it, that would not be a lie, that would be a false telling. There is a difference. If you KNOW the fact, and you openly, voluntarily, on your own accord, choose to cover it, or not to expose the fact, you have told a lie.  If you know something about someone is NOT true, but you say it anyway, maybe to cover your own embarrassment, you have lied.

    What about if you know you're getting a divorce, but you tell people you're still married and all is well.  I mean, you may still be LEGALLY married, right, so it's not a lie.  You're just maybe not willing to have that conversation with yourself or anyone else, so you say you're fine.  All is well, the marriage is intact, and so on and so forth.  You mention the kids, and how they're doing well. You haven't seen them since last Spring and/or a year ago, but hey, you know they're OK, so you say so. Is that a lie? Why mention it at all? Were you asked? Why volunteer the information as some sort of cover story, some sort of pass-the-buck card.  What was it Shakespeare said, "Me thinks he protests too much." When is a lie a lie?  Maybe the answer is when the truth is hard to bear. Instead of putting it out there, maybe ask for actual help with issues you're actually having.

    We all do it, even me, and I hate to admit that. I will go flat out of my way NOT to tell a half-truth, which is also a lie. I will bend myself into pretzels so I don't misrepresent myself or someone else, but there are times when it either seems there is no way out or when there is a way out, but I can't seem to be strong enough to face it, embrace it, and do it. These are usually times when my employment would be on the line, but I have been known to bite the bullet, as they say, and just lose my job rather than hold a secret, cover up something, or go along with...I won't do that. I can't do that. It's not in me. Do you wanna know what is in me? The Holy Spirit. He's in others too, and when those others lie -- He is activated! I don't know about you, but I don't like it when the Holy Spirit has to get onto me.

    When is a lie a lie? When someone writes to your pastor and friend and is concerned about you, and that pastor or friend sends you the message they received, you have NO RIGHT to tell a falsehood about the person who wrote out of concern or love. Your only answer is to pray about it and seek the truth in the matter. If what they perceived was in fact true, and your pastor and friend is (same person) asking you about it, you have two choices from which to choose. You can say "It's really none of your business" or you can tell the truth. The third option is never the one to choose. You don't brush it off, you don't cover it up, and you don't tell a LIE to save your own embarrassment. You either man up or you coward down. I think we know what happened. We all know what happened. That's why I'm writing today; one of the reasons I'm writing today.

    There are times when someone has stepped over a line. I am often that someone. I do and will step over a line. I didn't mind being told I had either. I understood, and I explained that the way I chose to address the issue was both Biblical, and it was properly private to the extent that it could be held private. The way to respond to it is not to pretend I was lying, but to admit that I had concerns, it was addressed, and that it will be resolved with the pastor; I never asked anyone to address the issue with me. (Hence the pastor's involvement, per the Bible's teachings) 

    When is a lie a lie? Did I lie? Is there anything WHATSOEVER in the message that I sent that could be misconstrued as being false? I'll wait.  I didn't send "those" photos. No, I didn't do that. I didn't name names, and I didn't bash or berate.  When is a lie a lie? When it is not the truth.  I did not lie. You did.

    Are we all sinners? YES!! Each and every last one of us is one of those people who do in fact sin. Not one of us is capable of judging, but it wasn't judging that I was doing, was it? I reported. I was reporting information shown as I perceived it, and I was reporting what I knew. I say KNEW because I have eyes and I can see with both of them. When the other party decided to rescind the photos and posts I was most happy that he chose to do so. That man is not truthful, that man is not a friend. It's a rare thing for a flitting butterfly to be anything more than a beautiful and tender memory. Sometimes the wasp is sent to get your attention! They were both on board the Ark. They both have their purposes.

    When is a lie a lie? When it isn't the truth.  We don't always have to tell the truth you know. We can say "I don't want to talk about it" or "that's personal".  Isn't that better than denial, mistruths, half-truths, round-about truths, and/or little white lies to help smooth the waves?  I backed off when you used those words with me. I agreed to back off, didn't I? I can prove it.  It wasn't until YOU LIED again, that I wrote again. You know that, I know that. Moreover, Jesus knows that. I don't judge, I'll leave that to Him.

      I pinky-swore with every last one of my children once they were old enough to pinky-swear. Reuben had to get permission to actually pinky-swear since he isn't a girl, nor does he have a daughter, but we did a three-ring thing with one of his sisters so it could count.  We pinky-swore that we would never lie to one another no matter what. We can say "I don't want to talk about it now, but when I can I will."  We do have the right to reserve the truth, but we don't have the right to cover it, or ignore it altogether.  We respect each other, and we respect the Word.  Words have consequences, and they are often hard to take. Sometimes people blog and bite you in the ass for the words you chose to unleash. It happens. Don't lie. 

    When is a lie a lie? I think you know by now. I won't expect an apology, and no, I won't offer one either. I will say this; I will never lie to you. Never.

    

Photo Credit: KMUW.com

    

Love Me Some Kindle.

 For years I've been an Amazon fan. I've purchased things online since I was allowed to. I was one of the first I know to get a dedicated credit card just so I could buy things online and not worry about it. This was before PayPal, Venmo, and other sources. I was ordering online and not paying for expedited delivery. The problem with that is, I would receive a package a week or so later and have no idea what I had ordered until I opened the box. That, and if you didn't like it you were pretty much stuck with it. Returning it was a hassle, and it could also be expensive. Well, not anymore!! Wow, I just love technology even if I am not that great at using it. I did learn quickly, however, how to return things I don't want that I ordered from Amazon! Not lying, I often return them or start the return before they are delivered. I'm so so so so spoiled. I admit it.

    This being my birthday month, the month of November, I tend to buy myself things and I spoil myself the entire month. I have not disappointed myself this year. I decided to buy a Kindle, but because I'm of Scottish descent, I didn't want to spend a bunch of money on it. I first went the cheap route, but then I realized why I got that particular unit so cheaply!! There's always a reason.  Read the fine print.  I bought a Paperwhite Gen. 7 from eBay rather than from Amazon. The seller is good, they have a 100% review status, and over 15,000 items sold. Great people. I just wasn't happy with the unit after I found out it had way fewer bells and whistles than the newer ones. Then, it hit me; I can have two.  Yes, you heard me, I can have TWO separate Kindles. I will take one to work with me, and I will leave one at home. Perfect! You just can't get more satisfying than that.  I know that sounds incredibly spoiled again, but why take the thing back and forth if I don't have to? 

    The Gen. 7 can hold about 500 books, and the All-New can hold so many more. I'm not really sure I'll ever get over 1000 books, but I can see myself adding books left and right if they're free.  A lot of the old classics are exactly that; free! I can say I've paid for 11 books so far, and I have another 10-15 downloaded that didn't cost me anything. The New Testament written in Scots was $1.99  SERIOUSLY cheap! I've been reading it at work and just simply giggling because a year ago I had to search nearly every word they wrote to find out what it meant!! Today, I'm reading the book and I rarely have to look up a single word. I'm really getting the hang of it. I am getting the hang of it to the point that I'm ordering books in Scots. I'm not yet at the point where I can read and understand Scots Gaelic yet, but I'm ordering books written in that language as well, and there will be countless hours of study and research! Can't wait.

    I really have no excuse as to why I haven't been reading my books in this format for years. I've been making excuses and telling myself that I prefer to hold the physical book in my two hands. That just isn't the truth (I mean, it's not a flat lie, OK)! I bought "Hearts of Midlothian" by Sir Walter Scott, and it's fairly large. I have difficulty lifting it, holding it, and reading it. Then there are those idiots who print books (and sell them to people like me who don't read the full description before wantonly ordering, only to return them later) where the font size is so small an ant would have a wee fit to read it. Ants probably don't read, but you get the gist. The last several books I ordered from Amazon before ordering the Kindle, have been written in 10-11 font and the lines between each line have been compromised. It's impossible to follow - - thank you, Kindle!  I can control the size of the font, the brightness of the background, and the style of the font as well. Too cool.

    So, today, while at work, I tend to have about two hours of free time and I took full advantage of it. I took the Gen. 7 to work with me,  and there I am reading about Mary, Joseph, and Jesus making their way from Egypt to Nazareth, when I had to chuckle at the words before me. One of my co-workers, who is also of Scottish heritage, asked me to read it as it is written, so I did. She and I both just rolled at my attempts. I suck! I really really do suck at it, but it is such a learning experience to learn a good hearty strong language; and if it's a language your ancients knew and spoke, the better!!  She then became so interested in my Kindle that she ordered one for herself too. We're going to do a book of the month thing at the office and at least six of us are willing to do it.  Not all the books I will order will be in Scots, mind you, but I do want to do as many as I can.  We haven't decided on a book yet to read, but we all know it has to be a murder book!! Yes, a good murder is hard to ignore. 

    Since I am a writer and a murder writer, I am also interested in what others have to say, and what they did in fact write. I'm constantly looking for a good place to murder someone and I think I've found it in the closes of Edinburgh. I just have to pick a good one and then go investigate. Nothing like seeing it up close and personal to get the right feel for the energy of the ink you choose to spill for the cause. A close is a type of small, often thin, brick-lined passage from Point A to Point B. There are about 60+ of them on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, and it will be one of these where the murder will take place in my book. I won't know exactly which one yet, I need to feel them, touch them, run my hands over the bricks and think about what it could have been like if this or that close is better. It'll take me a minute, a minute I can't wait to spend. I think 2023 will be profitable. 

    So, back to the Kindle. I thought about buying one for each and every kid in my life. I have three, but two are married, and one has two of her own. That's a few, so I asked them if they wanted one. The answers flew in with a resounding NO. What? Yeah, they're all in denial. They think they like holding books too.  I did. I know I did. I totally get that, but I have hundreds of books on my shelves now, books I won't read again.  Why not have them stuffed in the Cloud and not on the shelves. I have over 300 personal journals that I wrote, so they're not on Kindle, but I bet most of, or more than not, the books I've got stashed around my house, are on Kindle. What I'm going to do is go through the inventory on Kindle. If I can get the book for $0.00 I'm going to order it, and then donate the physical book that I have in my house!  I've already given away "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" and it's less than an inch thick. It only has 120 pages I think. Geez. "Hearts of Midlothian", as previously mentioned is substantially thicker!

    That's it. I'm happy. I'm really very happy. If I could say more about the Kindle I would. I think if I had designed it I could have used a few features, but alas, no one asked me during that process what I would prefer. I'll just settle for the All-New version and read my happy little head to sleep, night after night after night.  

    

Photo Credit: Kindle.com 

Lies on Top of Lies Leads to Madness!

    Dedicated to the one asshat who blocked me, but still reads every blog I write. This one is for you buddy.  I'll even say "You're so vain you probably think this blog is about you", and I'd be right.  THIS IS ABOUT YOU! (That being said, I am sorry your dog passed away, and maybe I shouldn't publish this now, but I am going to because your dog dying was NO EXCUSE for you to lie about me. She's in a good place, and you'll see her again.) Grab another coffee, you're gonna need it. I'm not holding back on you, friend.

*************************************************************************

OHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GOSSSSHHHH, I wanted to get on this keyboard (after work) and just blast the hell out of this one particular man who seemingly needs to have his head set straight, and his back end kicked hard enough to send him through Mary King's Close! He really (and I do mean really) pissed me off today, when he took the wrong method to communicate that he didn't want my financial support through his entertainment support account.  Now, I realize that sounds like the biggest and stupidest First World Issue EVER, and it may be.  However, one does not LIE to a large corporation whose only job is to transfer support from those of us who give a damn to those who we wish to support,  and tell them that the supporter has bullied you and that's the reason you want to unpledge their generosity. Seriously, who does that? (an idiot) He needs to be sat down and spoken to but I'm afraid I'm not the one to do it. I may slip and punch him in the face. That would neither be ladylike, nor legal in most civilized countries (of which we both reside, but my country is a bit more lenient in these matters.)

    I say I wanted to. I say I wanted to just jump on here and blast him from KINGDOM COME right down the Royal Mile and let him spend a day or longer in the Edinburgh Dungeons so he could be seen for the spectacle that he's become. Lying is so low. Lying about me is probably better than lying about others because I will vent, blow off steam, and fuss about it, but I won't really do anything about it. I did call the company's support team today to ask them if my name was associated with the lie, and they said yes because he had to choose a reason to reject my pledge.  Here I am trying to send the man money to support him since he's not really working (Yes, I said it) and he rejects my support not because he's pissed at me, which he is, but because he lied and said I was the bully. NO FRIEND, when you lie about someone that makes YOU the bully, not them.

    The corporation's team asked me if I wanted to file a strike against him so they could investigate because apparently, he's not keeping up his end of the bargain with the others who are pledging. At least one of them complained about it, not being willing to simply withdraw their pledge, they did that, then they complained. I don't do that. If someone wants to lackluster their word and/or obligations on a platform that I'm supporting, I'll just stop supporting it. I thought about allowing them to give his account a strike, or maybe a 2nd strike since apparently, he may have one. I decided against it because I'm NOT the bully. I'm the person being lied about, and I didn't want to stoop to his level and say something that may end up looking as petty as he was if they investigated it.  I just know that I have not harassed him, and he said I had. Well, if you tell a lie often enough you'll start to believe it. I think Adolf Hitler said that, but it's true.  

    I was lied about to this man by his wife in 2020 when I tried to promote his music.  She didn't believe I had the wherewithal to do it.  I was also lied about to him by a man who I also was willing to promote. The man has never spoken to me, never communicated with me, and has never tried to communicate with me, but there he is lying about my character, telling the asshat (sorry, that's his new name for now) that I was the bad guy -- I couldn't be trusted.   Instead of checking out what I was saying, or what I was offering in terms of promoting both of them actually, I was simply told no thank you, but then every time I attempted to communicate with the artist I was shunned. Eventually, one of his close friends called me and we spoke. She was concerned because he had begun bad-mouthing me to her and others. He was repeating, I am told, what his wife and friend had told him, NOT what he knew to be true, but LIES. OK...don't do that. (You didn't know she called me, did you? She did. I support her and others that she knows, so she knows I'm not unworthy!)

    Here's how that worked out for him.  He's now divorcing from what I can find, he lives 30+ miles from his family and has for over a year; and the oh-so-good "friend" was blocked from his social media from the time he moved out until recently, for something I won't publish or print. Suffice it to say the asshat had absolute reasons to have trust issues and with friends like that, no, you don't need any enemies.  I guess I should have expected him to reject my attempt at supporting him. He's blocked me from his social media accounts as well when I expressed concerns about the direction(s) he was going in with certain "friends" again, who no longer have a place in his life. GONE. 

    It's funny who we trust and why. Sometimes it's the hard-cold-facts and tough-love type of friend who has your back, and the "Johhny-Be-Gone" or "Midnight Riders" are off doing their thing seconds after swearing their devotion. We call them "fly-bys" because they never really land for long, they pick up their pink pom-poms and poof! They're outta there!  They use you, (and yes, post lies about you) and you can't seem to find them when you need to ask them why they did that. INSTEAD, some people cut out the good to "save face" and claim it was for their personal healing. HELLO...you can't heal when your open wounds are wallowing in the mud!

    Yes, I know, I can be hard to take. I get that. I can say this though, I don't lie. I may tell you the God-awful blunt and ugly truth, and you may not like it, but I will NEVER lie because lying is not defendable. I've spent too many years and too much $$$ defending liars that I love. These are people I truly loved, and felt that they would never harm me. I was wrong. I was dead wrong. Let me see if I can find the words, I'll quote a singer-songwriter on this one:  "I thought it was love, love from above, but I was wrong!"  YES, you sure as hell were!  Those lies they told you about me were right up there with the lies you told about me today. SHAME! The love you thought was from above turned out to be another deceiver, but it wasn't me, was it? NOPE. 

    I'll bottom-line it for you. YOU DO NOT dictate to me what I will or will not do. I will listen to God, and God alone. At this point, when I go to the closet to pray for you I will address you as "the Ass" and our Lord will have NO PROBLEM discerning who is it that I am lifting to Him for both protection and wisdom.  I wish you were my donkey, I'd show you what the end of a crop looks like, and not in a good way! Liars are typically thrown out of my life, but by God and all things Holy, I'm not given that privilege with you. I was told to pray for you, and I'm going to continue to do so. I don't have to support you, and I don't have to give you a dime, but I will not stop conversing with Jesus about you because now you really need words lifted for you. Health, home, heart, family, finances, you're a mess! 

    If I had one thing to say to your face it would be that I don't appreciate you either right now - - but I'm stuck with you for now, and God will be blessed whether or not you participate. No, I don't have to ask your permission to pray for you. Is that too cheeky for you? Get over it! Yes, I'd rather you be kind-hearted and do a bit of research before believing the lies, sure, but if you can't do that at least don't flinch when you stare at your face in the mirror knowing that what I told you was the truth, and if you can't handle that, the mirror won't change, friend, YOU HAVE TO. I won't hold my breath for it, but eternity is a very long time, and I know we'll have tea there, so just prepare yourself now because you won't even think about being rude to me there. That will be a nice change!

Photo Credit: Cafepress

Blunders and Wonders (and First World Issues)

 If you follow me, or if you can't stand me, but you read everything I write anyway, this blog may actually tickle your funny bone. (If the Brits don't have an equivalent to the funny bone, I can't help you, but I certainly wouldn't want to be accused of tickling anything cheeky; that would be so embarrassing. )

    I am the biggest dork.  I can't say I'm a geek because I don't know much about Science books. Don't much about the French I took either, but that's another melody. If you know, you know.  I can't call myself a nerd because I absolutely don't know the differences between any anime characters and no, I don't know which characters are DC and which are Marvel. I just smile and nod my head when my kids talk about them. I buy things and I say "OK, is that the right one, honey?"  Truth.

    I am the dork of dorks. I call myself the Queen of Dorkville. I just make blunders, boo-boos, oopsies, and mistakes. I fall all over myself at times, and it's because of the bruises I tend to leave both physically where you can see them, and emotionally where you may not, I tend to try to be right most of the time. No, let me rephrase that a bit, I hate myself and all things around me if I'm wrong. I just can't stand it. I don't often throw massive fits or go into a rage (in public) but I have been known to destroy my couch pillows, while screaming at the top of my lungs into one of them for say, maybe a full ten minutes. I really, really, really, hate to be wrong. 

    It could be because I was born in the Year of the Ox.  Ox, as you know are broadminded, stubborn, strong, forward moving, and now that I think about it, being born in the Year of the Ox may actually have something to do with why I trade on the open market now! Wow, I  just now put that together.  Bulls Rule!!  I was not only born in the Year of the Ox; no. I was born a Scorpio. I wasn't just born any old typical run-of-the-mill daily type Scorpio, no, that would be quite silly. I was born on the last day, of the last hour almost of the Scorpios. It was on my actual birthday, at the time of my birth, I am told, (close to the hour) that the would-be people who follow these things, tell me that they adopted a new time frame and that those born on November 22 from that point forward are no longer Scorpio. WOW...that was close!

    I was born on 11/22/1961 and for my British friends, that would be 22/11/1961. If you look at this date closely you'll see I have two double numbers in my birth, not one, and the year 1961 can be turned upside down and it remains 1961. Try that with the year of your birth. I'll wait.  So, there (or here) I am, rocking an amazing date for being born, rocking an incredibly wonderful time as well, but still, I am so far from being perfect it is hilarious!!  People tell me all the time how right I am, or they'll try and convince me that I'm a freak of nature because I know things. I am not. What I am is one of those people who screw up so often but I don't let others know I have. I cover it well. I make what I do seem as if it was intentional, that covers a multitude of my blunders for sure, and the rest I simply have to admit and move forward. I'm actually pretty good at raising my hand and admitting my folly. I'm not going to lie about that. I don't put blame on others. No. I know it was me!

    I was not only born on an amazing day but I was born into the world of a family whose heritage was settled in the ancient days of the Celts. I have taken the DNA test, but before I had the nerve to put it down to knowledge, I felt that I was at least half Celt. Turns out I'm about 94% Celt. There are tests you can take, and I have, that tell you what percentage of national peoples you belong to. For that, I am both English and Scottish, with a dash of Italian and Iberian thrown in for good measure. The people of my past were Celts before they were Brits. I suppose before that they were Norse. Before that, they were from Japheth. (You can watch Charlie Garrett's sermon on that if you like, here's the link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju2yXBv-gWA&list=PL6Xj_bNWUPxcSDP-5PBJmO5bo7mItQ1kc&index=23

    Today's big bad blunders would include the decision to make a "Fair Night" dinner for my daughter and me. I made sausage balls, cheese balls, fried corn cobs, and fried fritters. Don't do that to yourself people. Don't do it to yourself, don't do it to your residence, and don't do it to your neighbors. My neighbors literally knocked on my door to be sure we were OK. The house was full of smoke from the fryer and the oily stench is still in my apartment. We've had the back door open for hours and it's cold outside today.  Let me just say that I won't be attempting anything so gut-wrenchingly horrible for another 60 years. I promise. 

    Another faux-paux for myself today and/or this week was buying about 11 books online through Amazon and when I saw that they were all really cheap I was thinking to myself that I was pretty clever for finding these deals!! Yep, without looking at any of them, I just ordered them. Books!! I LOVE BOOKS!!  So, there I was, watching all of these really flat books come to my doorstep when they should have been anywhere from 250-600 pages.  Well, with the invention of squeezing font down to the point that you can't read it, and stacking said fonted words on top of each other to the point of probable overlapping, one can have a thinner and cheaper book! Did you know that? Well, now I do too!  I sent every book back to Amazon (Prime member) and I did the right thing. I bought myself a Kindle!

    Even buying the Kindle was a boo-boo that needed to be redone!  I didn't read all the fine print. I was so excited that there was one that was ready to be delivered and it could be here tomorrow! I saw the price, and I did remember that they were more expensive earlier, but I thought (and that's how it starts, I think) that because I had taken all the books back that I must have had credit and that's the reason the Kindle was cheaper. I hadn't been credited with the books at that point. It was too soon.  What I bought was an older model, and yes, on top of it being an older model, it had been refurbished.  When it arrived it had a tiny pin-hole in the screen, and it does bother me when I'm reading. Sorry, I'm sort of a princess like that. I can't stand a tiny cat litter pebble in my shoe either - - don't get me started on the ticking noise in my car!

    I reordered a new Kindle today, and yes, due to my book credit I did only pay $48 for the thing instead of $99.  Woot!!  I can now download all of those 11 books when it comes in, and I'll be set to read my gloriously wonderful fantastical stories all written by authors who were born in and/or lived in Scotland for most of their lives. I'm talking about Sir Walter Scott, Robert Louis Stevenson, Sir Arthur Doyle, Kenneth Grahame, and others. I'll even throw in J.K. Rowling because she lived in Edinburgh for 21 years, and she put out a Harry Potter book written in what is called the Scottish Edition. It's written in Scots! Wow! I can't wait. 

    What typically happens to me is strictly a First World Issue. I get that. Nothing I do, nothing I screw up, nothing I ruin will end up costing anyone more than a few shillings. I'm not the demonstrative cyclone of all things female. I am just a woman who from time to time can't stop herself, and I trip myself down a flight of stairs, but try to remember to sit down immediately before spread-eagling down into the foyer. I move my arm just so, in order to avoid spilling my coffee, and there it goes, cascading the length of the kitchen cabinet, tumbling onto the floor, crashing into a million (few) pieces, and I end up saying bad words.  I do that, and I won't apologize.

    If you are anything like me, say a blessing! Thank God today for your woopsies, and your idiot ways. I feel it may keep me humble. Without my ineptness I would be prone, possibly, to believe that I am invincible and we all know where pride will end up, right there in the bin! Kiss the sky with open arms, and think happy and marvelous thoughts of what it is like to be human! Embrace your dork, take your geek to dinner, and by all means, don't let your nerd out of your sight!  Be the imperfect and messed-up beauty that you are. While being so God-wonderful, take a minute to smell the roses, have another cup of tea (or coffee) and read the fine print before ordering anything online. Just a word.

Photo Credit: Me. (My two silly and obnoxious baby girs)

Quinn!! It's Back!

 Quinn is neither male nor female. Quinn isn't living, and therefore it really has no gender. Sometimes people will assess or give a female name to a boat, or say "There she goes!" They refer to cars as shes as well. I don't. My car Stephen is a boy.  If you look underneath him you'll see his...well, his muffler. He's a cutie too, just sayin'.  Quinn, on the other hand, is a comforter, it is not just any comforter mind you, no no no.  Quinn is a certified, bonafide "Coma Inducing Comforter".  That's how you find it. You have to put those words into the search bar on Google or whatever search engine you choose. Quinn was named for the two very male and female things I have known and loved who are named Quinn and who are both big, brawny, beautiful, comfortable, loving, and reassuring.  It is named for Quinn the Mustang mare that I owned briefly and wished I could have kept, and Brian Quinn, the New York comedian from Impractical Jokers. He's hilarious and adorable. There you go.

    About two years ago when I froze my behind earlier than normal because Oklahoma decided to have an ice storm in the middle of a perfectly good October, I decided to buy my last big fat fluffy comforter. I hit up Amazon and I think I put in "Big, fluffy, comforter" and then, what happened next, can only be described as WOWWWWOOOOWWW!!  I found it. Yes, it was expensive. I didn't give a damn. I really didn't care whatsoever at that moment. Amazon had it, they were promising me that they could deliver it the next day, and I simply said yes to the comforter. Done!

    I'm kinda like that really. I have reached the point in my life where I've earned the right to buy myself things that I want. I certainly remember my mom never doing that. She would constantly wait until she asked my dad about buying this or that because she felt that he needed to be a part of every last decision. I don't think that's how I want to live my life. I don't have a husband for a lot of reasons, but if there was a chance that said husband would say no to my spending what I felt was needed, he wouldn't be married to me very long. This is the reason I am not married....well, one of the reasons.  That's not to say that if I had a husband I would spend whatever I wanted when I wanted. Nope, I would talk it out with him, and I would listen to him. If we couldn't afford the comforter, I would understand but if he said no just because he had the authority to do so, I may just have to let him sleep on the couch a few nights without said comforter; he'd have his authority, and he could snuggle right up to that authority and see if it kept him warm.

    I don't want to get off on a tangent about good wives and good husbands. The purchase of a comforter does not a divorce make. Nope. If that could happen the marriage wasn't solid in the first place. There are also those who would argue that the man should have said to the wife "Hey honey, do you think a really big fat fluffy oversized unbelievably soft comforter would benefit the both of us?"  If he would say things like that, the wife wouldn't have to think about spending the money without his input; there's that. He should be taking care of his wife 24/7/365 day in and day out, and she shouldn't have to think about is needed. She could then concern herself with taking care of all the things they had. It's a thought. Like I said, I'm not married. I bought the damn comforter because I wanted it.

    As you can imagine, Quinn is really big, really too big for my Queen-sized bed, but I'm good. The dogs are good. When Quinn isn't on my bed it is in the closet and the cats and dogs make it into their little hidey-hole massive hangout. That's why when I do have to drag it out of the closet to unfurl and unfold, I first take it and the pillow shams to the wee laundromat down the road. It's literally been there for 50 years I think. The machines are pert nearly that old really, but the ones that work still work. I can wash an oversized larger than King-sized fluffy coma-inducing comforter, two shams, my daily pillow, and a pair of trainers I threw in for good measure, all for $7.00.  The place I attend lets me dry for free when I pay for the wash! You really, no really, can't beat that. It's one of those really amazing things about living right here in the big city.

    Quinn stayed on the bed last year (2021-2022) from October around the 15th to about the middle of May.  The year before that, when I bought it, I'd say it was about the same timeframe. Last night was the first really cold night and it was November 4th.  Could that be global warming? LOL.  Don't get me started! Again, yes, the world will heat up, the Bible says so, read it. Learn something. Then pull up a big corner of your favorite comforter, lean against a few pillows while holding your new Kindle, and READ!  Don't forget the cocoa, but please be careful, you really don't want to heave that thing back down the stairs, into the car, and out to the laundromat again. Not only is it HUGE and cumbersome, but people at the laundromat also have to feel it a few times before and after you wash it. They can't get enough of it, and you stand there explaining yourself over and over again because people come and go from the laundromat. It's a thang.

    Yes, I bought myself a Kindle Paperwhite, and I'll probably use it for a minute and then break down and buy an All-New Kindle for myself for Christmas. I think the Paperwhite is good, and I bought it to see if I was going to like holding a Kindle rather than a book.  I do.  That, and I can buy $10 books for $.99 or less. I'm into that. I read a bunch of classics and they're really not expensive for a download. I'll gift this machine to someone I really love because you do show your love and appreciation when you gift a Kindle. 

    I don't know if I love anyone enough to give them a Quinn.  I mean yeah, my kids. I could get each of them one if they told me they wanted one. I'm that kind of mom. I will be that kind of mom forever I suppose...and, just to settle the matter in case you were all really worried for me if I had a real live husband I wouldn't go off and spend money foolishly even if I wanted to. I do have the manners and respect my mother and her mother bestowed on me. I'm just saying the man would be persuaded to agree with me. (she smiles)

    OK, so I have Quinn, I have the Kindle, I have the dog, I have the cocoa, and this is going to be a WAVERLEY night with Sir Walter Scott and the most comfortable, accommodating, over-the-top wonderful hugging quilt EVER!!!  God, I truly love my life. Thank you.

Photo Credit: Me

We Just Seem to Age.

 Of course, we all age differently, but we do actually all age at the same time. It does stand to reason that the rocks we hold in our hands today are the same age as the rocks we see in the sea, around the mountains, and everywhere else. God isn't making more rocks. He made the Earth in literally six days, but we don't know what happened between Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:2 as far as time. Man wasn't on Earth at the time, so He could have done anything. I haven't been convinced that the Earth is only X years old, but I do know that man has only been on the Earth for just over 6000 years. No, you don't have to write me and try to "correct" me. I'm not going to change my mind, we can agree to disagree and move forward. My reference is the Holy Bible, so I know I won't listen to anyone trying to say this or that using "Science". Who do you think made Science? There you go!

    When I say we all age differently I'm talking about what we do from Point A to Point B, and how hard we choose to live our lives. It does matter. Certainly, I know that there is a multitude of genetics that play into the aging process. I most assuredly understand that genetics, injury, disease, illness, and other factors take part in who will look their age at say, 60, (I'm 60) and who will somehow manage to beat the clock a bit and only look, say....22. LOL Right? I'm laughing. Yes, you can't see me, but I am over here just rolling. Would I want to look 22 again? Hell yeah! I was a hotty!! I was really cute and fit, and let me tell you, I had no idea that one day I wouldn't look like that, so yeah, when I get to Heaven, I want to look like I did when I turned 22.

    I have been so very blessed in that I haven't had to deal with genetic diseases and disorders really.  My mother's side of the family has a long history of living very long lives, and they tend to be healthy while they live their lives. I don't really remember any one of them being on a particular diet, or working out, I just know that they worked hard, walked a great deal of the time, they didn't smoke or drink (Granpa smoked) and they didn't stay up too late. Granny always said that sleeping 8 hours a night was the secret to being stronger in the morning. I love sleeping. I could do that 10 - 12 hours a day without being asked to do so.  Dad's side of the family, however, is another story.  Both of his parents died really early; one was 54 I think, and the other just 70.  Both died of brain issues, and both had seemingly healthy bodies, but my Grandpa was a boxer and he worked in the labor field. He was injured. It affected him later as he aged.  Grandma Stringfellow literally could have been one of those women who died of aluminum poisoning from using toxic sprays including hairspray.  My dad's brothers all died before they were 70 I think, or close to it. Daddy was the last to die, and he was 85. (Note: he gave up smoking at age 35 I think, and he really never drank.)

    I have friends I went to high school with who have passed away. I have friends from high school who are barely holding up, and when I look back on their lives I can see key points as to why that may be.  Drugs and alcohol aside, some had served in the military and came back with true mental issues that they didn't have before they enlisted. Some had other neurological or mental issues that developed from using this or that product or being exposed to things in their occupational environments. Others have developed disorders such as chronic restless leg syndrome, and diabetes, they've become obese, or they don't eat at all, and they literally look like walking skeletons. I wish I could wrap my mind around some of these disorders so that I might be a better advocate, but I know I can always be there to listen and support them.  I can't say I've remained friends with many of the folks I went to school with but I am typically available and willing to be a friend.  We need friends. 

    I decided, and it was a decision, on August 3, 2020, that I would change my body. I would change my mind. I would change the chemical breakdown in my blood so that it flowed better, and so that would be fortified with the proper nutrients it needed. So many of these nutrients, vitamins, minerals, and hormones are no longer being produced as we age. We need to, we MUST, research this and do something about it if we're going to combat the aging process long enough to both enjoy our lives and the lives of those we love.  It's just so much easier to let the curtain fall and "age gracefully", but that choice sounded pretty cop-outtish to me. I thought NOPE, I'll fight to the finish! I'm going to be one healthy woman if it kills me!  Why not? I thought to myself I can either die of being a lazy fat ass or I can work hard and die later from dropping a dumbbell on my head. 

    On August 3, 2020, I think (If I'm honest) I weighed 216 pounds. I know I weighed 204 about a year before that because I saw myself on the doctor's scale and just about shot a brick out my bum! WHAT? Are you kidding me right now? This is so stupid! I'd tell a friend or family member and they'd say something like "We all age and get fat" or "It's normal to gain weight after 50. It's too hard to lose it." I had one ex-friend say that she's not willing to even try, she has no man in her life to impress. WHAT? Who needs a man to impress! Impress yourself! Damn!  Well, from that day forward I struck out and did what I could to both stop eating poorly and to watch my exercise as well as my water intake. Oh, and I wasn't really sleeping that long either, maybe 6-7 hours a night. On weekends I  could catch up, right? That changed! I decided it would change, and I think maybe we have to do that. We have to decide.

    I have a friend right now who is in his early 40s. He's been diagnosed with PTSD from past issues, he's nearly been killed several times due to self-hate, others hating him, being caught in terrible storms, car and bus accidents, and once he just tripped and tumbled down the long side of an extinct volcano! The man has been through it, we'll just say that. He was thrown from a ferry when he was 12 and had to swim over a half mile to safety in freezing water! This man has seen his share and mine of trouble.  He was recently told he is pre-diabetic. He was over 250 pounds when he was told that. He has been a drug addict, an alcoholic, homeless, arrested, beaten up, and yes, he's been the one to bring on most of his abuse. He admits that. He has deep tissue issues in his legs now. He also has an unusual heartbeat that the doctors can't quite pin down. I told him I had one too! It was detected in me at the age of 2 and here I am about to turn 61 and not one doctor can tell me why I have an extra "click" or "tick" at the end of my regular heartbeat. I'm still kicking!!

    The reason I told you about my friend is to say that he also made a decision about a year ago to go 100% clean. He'd been off the drugs for years but still battled the alcohol. He only drank now and then, but when he did he became the Mr. Hyde that his Jekyll truly hated. He was not a happy man. It cost him his home and hearth. It was time to change.  Just under a year now, January will be a full year, he has lost 70 pounds, has been working out, and has real live huge bulging muscles that really look great on him! He's eating better, of course, dropping the sugar, and most of the carbs, but still enjoying life with a few treats. He's working out, he's sleeping, and he decided to go to a therapist for the first time in his life to deal with nagging mental pictures in his head that he can't figure out if they are real memories or ones he's made up.  I don't ask him, and if he doesn't tell me I don't worry about it. I pray and I thank God for the continued help. What a difference a decision makes!

    What do I do? OMG..how much time do you have? I take vitamins of course, but I also take a bunch (and I do mean a bunch) of other suppliments for better female health (specifically) and for overall aging health.  I'm into DHEA, Zinc, Chlorophyll, Raspberry peptides, kacip fatimah, turmeric, sea buckthorn, and other omegas. I'm into protein shakes, adding supplements to those as well, and I drink, eat, chew, and ingest anything with collagen. I've even put it directly on my face, take baths with it, and I'm over here really hoping it works because I do spend a lot of money on it. It's cheaper than cocaine and better for me.  I'm into exercising, walking, working out, doing lifts, and using my vibration plate to loosen my muscles before I do yoga before I work out. It's all about moving. When I'm at work I use the standing side of my desk at least two hours of the day, and yes, I dance while I'm working at the desk. I'm not all that obnoxious about it, but I'm moving! You have to move!

    Water is the key to a healthy body as well, and if you didn't know that you should. Some people say you should drink 1/2 your weight in ounces. So if I now weight 170 (stop it, some of that is muscle) I should be drinking 85 ounces of water a day. Well, I guess I'm still thinking I'm 216 because I drink well over 100 ounces of water, lemon water, green tea, and coffee, but I don't count the coffee in the intake. The water is the measured liquid.  Yes, I am the pee-queen too; but that's OK, I can take that, it's a small price to pay for health.  When I was sicker than sick about a month ago, I thanked GOD nearly every single hour for the help He provided because this body was NOT having it. I couldn't function! I can only imagine how bad it could have been if I hadn't started out with a relatively healthy body, to begin with. It really really matters. When we let ourselves go we can get sick and not fight off whatever decides to invade us!  Do it for that reason! Do it for YOU, not to impress someone else. Geez!

    OK, I'll stop now and let you go.  I have taken to taking a bit of hemp now after working out and just before going to bed. It relaxes me without being addictive and it helps with the flow the oxygen in my blood.  Getting old sucks! It's not for the weak, it's not for the queasy either. We fight reproductive organ issues, vein issues, heart issues, breathing issues, dizziness, hunger, and all sorts of things just because we get older. I'm wearing glasses for the first time and even though I'll be 61 in a few days, and I'm just now wearing glasses, it still sort of pisses me off that I have to! 

    I hate using my age as a reason for getting old! I keep thinking there must be something else I can do, but I do know I can only go so far, and then it's time to say goodbye for the duration. Until that day, or until Jesus decides to sweep me off my feet, I'm going to push this envelope to the max!!  Working out, eating correctly, sleeping longer, being rested, reading more, and staying aware of both my surroundings and world events. This life is a good life, He has given it to me, and I'm going to make the best of it!  

    John (my friend) was saying that he probably won't find another woman at his age that can handle all of his past, or his present and what comes next.  I took his face in my hands and reminded him that we're not here to please others, and while it's great to have a good friend to love and share the world with if that person can't understand you enough to show the right side of compassion, passion, love, and commitment, they aren't worth having in the first place.  We are who we are, and though we can change, and though we make a 1000 mistakes, when we decide to be the better us, we don't have to, and we don't need to settle for someone who will resign to be with us - - we are enough. We always were.

    

    

    Photo Credit: Me

    

First Day Back (Arms Day)

 Wow!! It only took ONE DAY of complaining and blogging and there she was, my gloriously gorgeous fun, and fanciful daughter Laura, willing to be a bodyguard for me at the YMCA. Sweet Sourpatch Stunning Beauty Caity Baby Baby Caity would have volunteered for sure, but she does live in another city, far far away.  Laura stepped up, and she decided to hulky-bulk up too.  As long as I'm willing to foot the bill, for now, she's all about protecting me and keeping me safe and clear from any would-be chatters, suitors, creepers, or just people who fancy a chat with me when I'm working out at the gym! I don't go to the gym to chat!  Thank you, Laura. 

    So, we joined and then we waited until today to go since we haven't really prepared our bodies for working out on a near-daily basis.  We've decided to go to the gym 4x a week, and work out at home the other days, but when we do that we won't make a thing of it. We're talking just 15-20 minutes of light lifting and kettlebell workouts. We have a few different sizes of dumbbells and weighted bars. We use them to squat while we talk. I don't mind talking to Laura when I work out, that's another matter altogether. I can't very well ask the old man or woman staring at me at the gym if they let the dogs out or if they did the dishes earlier in the day. I can't complain about the wash not being done, or the chair being pulled out into the middle of the floor again! What's up with that? Oh, she uses it to do a back stretch. Put it back where it belongs!  Geez! (:

    So, we went to the YMCA and checked in.  We noticed immediately that we were virtually the only people there, so maybe the later we go the better. We went at 6:30 p.m. and we think that may be a magical time! I'll test my theory.  If I need to go at 7:00 p.m. to avoid the chatterboxes I can do that. They also relieve two of the workers too, and they have been an issue in the past with them trying to recruit me to volunteer for a spin class or an adventure class.  No, no, and again, NO! I just want to go in, grab a machine or three, use them, row for a while, do the battle ropes, hang on the rings to get the muscles pulled out a bit, then walk 3 laps and go home! Fun times. 

    We did find the new (really old) machines are rather unique and heavy-duty, more than industrial really, and I can say that they are definitely going to do what we need them to do. Laura and I both used the arms, lats, and pec machines today (I also used the rowing machine while she did a few free pull machines) We met in the middle and did the lats and there is a sitting row, which of course they are all sitting rows, but this one is where you sit, put your feet up, and only use your hands to grasp the pulls (two positions) and you pull back. As you pull the machine "arms" go out and around a bit before coming back to you, and yeah, you can add up to 250# if you want to. I think I did 30# before I decided to lower it and do less weight and more reps. I'm really not trying to bulk but to add tone and muscle so I can get the gut to disappear. (It's a thing. You build muscle all over and the flab is supposed to disappear. We'll see if it works.)

    For the most part, we did all we needed to do in about 30 minutes. We didn't rush ourselves, we didn't take our time. We just worked and we think that about 30 minutes at a time will be good. She may go during the day as well since she works from home and can do that. I'll just do the 4x a-week thing, then the light lifts at home while I read - - one hand for the book, one hand with weight. I can see that happening. When I need to turn the page I can use my nose -- it's a Kindle! I will make this happen people. Sir Walter Scott and I will be in shape before the Black Dwarf dies! If you don't know, you don't know Elshie the Recluse and I can't help you. Read a book!

    Our Y has a great donation bin just as you walk into the door. I'm dragging two bags of clothes there tomorrow. I'm also going through the kitchen cupboard and bringing whatever canned goods I can carry.  They have a food pantry!! I love that! I love it when the community can give back. Such an honor. God has been so good to me, and I have every intention of being good to and for others. I just don't want to spend a bunch of time chatting it up with anyone while I donate either - - sorry, I just don't like small talk really. It's needless, useless, and dumb.  Besides, they may find out I'm this over-the-top right-wing conservative who's both pro-life and pro-Trump. Maybe I should just wear that t-shirt and no one would come up to me. I mean yeah, but I don't want to end up on the wrong side of a row either! Best we leave our politics at home. The gym is for battling ropes, not tongues.

    I came home and grabbed my hemp protein to make a shake. Laura uses the standard whey powder. I'm too cool for that you know. I have hemp, and I add collagen to it. I also add powdered vitamins, turmeric, and a bunch of everything else. She tasted it and nearly gagged. "Oh my gosh mom, it tastes like grass, or maybe dirt!"  Well, there you go.  I love that. Could be a leftover memory from when I was a kid. We Boomers really didn't have much more to do when we were kids, so yeah, mud pies and dirt clods.  We survived.  Heck, we were thrown in the back back of the station wagon without belts. The back window was usually rolled down so dad's cigarette smoke could escape, and since the speed limits weren't really set, we got where we were goin' a bit quicker in those days. Again, we survived.

    It's time to get this body in shape and do all I can do to it before I say my last farewells.  It's a win-win.  I'm having fun now, and if I leave this place, I know where I'm going. I don't think Heaven actually has a gym, but if it does I can probably find more time to carry on a bit of conversation with someone. After all, eternity is a very very long time.

Photo Credit: ManitobaHarvest.com

Prove Me Wrong. I'll Wait.

 Because I want my account(s) to stay open and not be banned, suspended, or otherwise permanently taken away from me, I won't say names. I'll let your imagination run freely.  We can do this. I can give clues, you can pick those clues up and probably figure out what it is that I'm trying to say. C'mon, it'll be fun. Let's have a go at it.  I'll talk, you can read, and we'll have to wait a few days to see if I'm right, but when I am, I will laugh. You can laugh too; and if you're one to shun or disagree with my thoughts or opinions, you can laugh when I'm proven to be wrong.  I won't hold my breath for that.

    Those who hold themselves to be above and beyond being touchable have apparently been "touched". There is one, in particular, an older woman who not many envy and more so despise.  Because of her position in politics in a particular free world, she has a way of thinking she is without reproach. She doesn't believe she will serve a day in any sort of detainment or go through any official (formal) reprimand for having been a party to, possibly involved in, insider trading. As a trade smith, the very thought of others cheating and taking advantage of the system is both appalling and disgusting; not to mention extremely illegal for anyone,  her included. Her husband is also included. Let that sink in for a minute.

    There comes a time when the often too high and mighty do in fact tilt and eventually they fall.  Sometimes, but not as often as some may hope, these too-big-to-fail types even find that they have expired; at least their usefulness has.  This is where we find ourselves today; we are spectators in a game of idiot chess.  We have to watch because we don't have a ticket to the main event. We can only hope the truth is spread evenly, but we all know the rumors are created for the purpose(s) of pretending to be true. Again, the idiots will believe the lies. Those of us with our brain cells mostly intact will know; we always know. The problem is that we can't pay our way into the circles we need to be in to find the facts. We're told the "truth" and what the "truth" will be. We're told the story. We're not asked to believe it, we're commanded to. The narrative is their gold. It's the only gold they have, the rest is printed paper. Like them, nearly worthless, but still in circulation.

    Last week a certain nobleman was attacked in his house late late at night. Oh, no worries, there's a wall. No worries still, there are guards. There should be absolutely no reason for these things to occur, not when there are over 20 hidden and in-sight cameras loaded and readily aimed leading up to the house, surrounding the house, and of course, throughout the house. If there is or was a perpetrator, an attacker, they'd know long before he or she could strike...right?  

    Seems on THAT day the 20+ cameras weren't working. Seems on THAT night, the guards were released.  Seems at that particular time no one was really there to see exactly what took place, but low and behold the inside trader has been beamed with a hammer and/or other alleged weapons. Did they show the blood? Did they at least take photographs? I hear they have a wonderful Hollywood makeup artist on speed dial. They'll need it.  Well, not really, since no one seems the least bit obligated to actually PROVE there was an intrusion, or to PROVE there was an attack. We have their word though -- yes, we do. We always have their word.

    Here's my thought.  She got caught. She's pissed. He doesn't care. He has $$$$ from it, and even though she does too, she's not really a concern of his anymore. He can go away and never be heard from again - - oh, but that won't do. That's a scandal in the making. Oh, I know, how about a convenient break-in, and a bit of a bam bam over say the face?  Surgeons may be needed to do reconstructive surgery, and then, after he's no longer resembling the man we know and sneer at, he can "die" in the media and simply walk away.  No one will search for the inside trader because he died. No one will seek revenge on the unsuspecting and unknowing wife, because she's a widow. Save face!!  (Change face, hide face)  Prove me wrong.

    We'll need to wait a few days to see how he "recovers" and how dire it will become. You just never know. He could find the weather in the South Pacific to be to his liking this time of year. Jeffrey did. We wait. We go about our lives and those of us who know we'll never know the truth simply shake our heads knowing we could and would never do what they do. How do I reconcile it? Well, this is their reward. They'll never have what we have. They will never see the streets of Glory. They'll never be in fellowship with the One and Only Truth. This is what they have. It may be $$$$$, OK, let's say it's $$$$$$$$$$ and more...but I'm reminded of what is written: "What profits a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?" What indeed. I hate that these things happen, but it's so rampant these days. We are expected to trust whatever the narrative gives us. Sorry, I have a hard time doing that. I guess it's because I can think.

Photo Credit: vecteezy.com