Yeah, I know, I'm harping on this lie thing. When I get a sandbur up under my saddle it's hard to shake. Some things just need to be fleshed out and this is one of those things. You get lied about and you tear it apart. You go to the source, but the source is a big "I won't say what I want to say" type of person. He's really just dug his wee little shaved head into the beach and refuses to come up for air. He chooses to hang on to the tales and blasters he was told about me, and from this, he garners his perception(s) of me. OK, it didn't help that after he was garnering and being a boo, I did confront him about a personal life choice that he was not only making (and posting about) but that others (unbeknownst to him) were posting in deeper more insidious detail. Some of the details they were posting were crude and I know this man would not have appreciated what I saw. I personally prayed one man would take down a particularly harmful post, and to my relief he did. When I confronted the "Ass" as I am now prone to call him, he didn't thank me. I mean, I didn't really expect him to, but I didn't expect him to blast me, blame me, and then lie about me when in all reality, it was only the raw and naked truth. Lies are lies, and the truth is truth. He should check his besties next time; know who you're hanging with.
When is a lie a lie? When (if ever) is a lie OK to tell? I have asked this question any number of times when I first start off a semester at any of the colleges or universities where I have had the privilege to lecture. I may apply to the University of Edinburgh, or a college close to it, this may happen. I stand at the front of the class on the 2nd day of class, as the first day is usually wrought with registration, attendance, rules, the handing out of the syllabus, and me trying to explain to the students exactly who it is that is standing before them. Believe it or not, a lot of students have no idea which professor they've chosen, or who may have been chosen for them.
A lie is a lie when it is not the truth. Does that mean it is a complete lie if it is not the complete truth? Well, in some ways the answer would have to be "Yes". We may not like it, but it may be true. I suppose we as humans, like to put pressure on ourselves and give ourselves a bit of a reprieve now and again as well. We say things like "Oh, that's just a little white lie". Why is a white lie less than a darker shade of untruth? Is that in and of itself a deception? I would say it is. A lie is a lie when we know the fact but choose (openly) to cover it up, or dismiss the truth or fact. We choose, and we are not manipulated into it, that would not be a lie, that would be a false telling. There is a difference. If you KNOW the fact, and you openly, voluntarily, on your own accord, choose to cover it, or not to expose the fact, you have told a lie. If you know something about someone is NOT true, but you say it anyway, maybe to cover your own embarrassment, you have lied.
What about if you know you're getting a divorce, but you tell people you're still married and all is well. I mean, you may still be LEGALLY married, right, so it's not a lie. You're just maybe not willing to have that conversation with yourself or anyone else, so you say you're fine. All is well, the marriage is intact, and so on and so forth. You mention the kids, and how they're doing well. You haven't seen them since last Spring and/or a year ago, but hey, you know they're OK, so you say so. Is that a lie? Why mention it at all? Were you asked? Why volunteer the information as some sort of cover story, some sort of pass-the-buck card. What was it Shakespeare said, "Me thinks he protests too much." When is a lie a lie? Maybe the answer is when the truth is hard to bear. Instead of putting it out there, maybe ask for actual help with issues you're actually having.
We all do it, even me, and I hate to admit that. I will go flat out of my way NOT to tell a half-truth, which is also a lie. I will bend myself into pretzels so I don't misrepresent myself or someone else, but there are times when it either seems there is no way out or when there is a way out, but I can't seem to be strong enough to face it, embrace it, and do it. These are usually times when my employment would be on the line, but I have been known to bite the bullet, as they say, and just lose my job rather than hold a secret, cover up something, or go along with...I won't do that. I can't do that. It's not in me. Do you wanna know what is in me? The Holy Spirit. He's in others too, and when those others lie -- He is activated! I don't know about you, but I don't like it when the Holy Spirit has to get onto me.
When is a lie a lie? When someone writes to your pastor and friend and is concerned about you, and that pastor or friend sends you the message they received, you have NO RIGHT to tell a falsehood about the person who wrote out of concern or love. Your only answer is to pray about it and seek the truth in the matter. If what they perceived was in fact true, and your pastor and friend is (same person) asking you about it, you have two choices from which to choose. You can say "It's really none of your business" or you can tell the truth. The third option is never the one to choose. You don't brush it off, you don't cover it up, and you don't tell a LIE to save your own embarrassment. You either man up or you coward down. I think we know what happened. We all know what happened. That's why I'm writing today; one of the reasons I'm writing today.
There are times when someone has stepped over a line. I am often that someone. I do and will step over a line. I didn't mind being told I had either. I understood, and I explained that the way I chose to address the issue was both Biblical, and it was properly private to the extent that it could be held private. The way to respond to it is not to pretend I was lying, but to admit that I had concerns, it was addressed, and that it will be resolved with the pastor; I never asked anyone to address the issue with me. (Hence the pastor's involvement, per the Bible's teachings)
When is a lie a lie? Did I lie? Is there anything WHATSOEVER in the message that I sent that could be misconstrued as being false? I'll wait. I didn't send "those" photos. No, I didn't do that. I didn't name names, and I didn't bash or berate. When is a lie a lie? When it is not the truth. I did not lie. You did.
Are we all sinners? YES!! Each and every last one of us is one of those people who do in fact sin. Not one of us is capable of judging, but it wasn't judging that I was doing, was it? I reported. I was reporting information shown as I perceived it, and I was reporting what I knew. I say KNEW because I have eyes and I can see with both of them. When the other party decided to rescind the photos and posts I was most happy that he chose to do so. That man is not truthful, that man is not a friend. It's a rare thing for a flitting butterfly to be anything more than a beautiful and tender memory. Sometimes the wasp is sent to get your attention! They were both on board the Ark. They both have their purposes.
When is a lie a lie? When it isn't the truth. We don't always have to tell the truth you know. We can say "I don't want to talk about it" or "that's personal". Isn't that better than denial, mistruths, half-truths, round-about truths, and/or little white lies to help smooth the waves? I backed off when you used those words with me. I agreed to back off, didn't I? I can prove it. It wasn't until YOU LIED again, that I wrote again. You know that, I know that. Moreover, Jesus knows that. I don't judge, I'll leave that to Him.
I pinky-swore with every last one of my children once they were old enough to pinky-swear. Reuben had to get permission to actually pinky-swear since he isn't a girl, nor does he have a daughter, but we did a three-ring thing with one of his sisters so it could count. We pinky-swore that we would never lie to one another no matter what. We can say "I don't want to talk about it now, but when I can I will." We do have the right to reserve the truth, but we don't have the right to cover it, or ignore it altogether. We respect each other, and we respect the Word. Words have consequences, and they are often hard to take. Sometimes people blog and bite you in the ass for the words you chose to unleash. It happens. Don't lie.
When is a lie a lie? I think you know by now. I won't expect an apology, and no, I won't offer one either. I will say this; I will never lie to you. Never.
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