CHEEKY! (Not to Be)

     For the first time ever, I've decided to scrap a book that I have written. I have scrapped them before I wrote them - deciding not to write them, but this is the first time I've written a book and then said no. I didn't like it. I did the whole AI thing, telling the AI what to write, and I sat back and let it go. The results were miserable. They were so bad - and so unwanted, I couldn't put my name on it. It was just not meant to be. Gone!

    That's not to say I won't get around to writing the book myself, but I couldn't allow the AI to do it; not my style. I did try. I promise, I did. I laid down the ground rules, the instructions for the skeleton, the framework, the juicy parts. I even told it what should happen in each chapter, but when it was done, there were just too many mistakes. I'd have spent weeks just correcting them, even before getting to the grit of it. When I write, I use AI for suggestions, but this time I wanted to see if it could write the entire book - it failed.

    When I say it failed, I don't mean that the AI (Type AI to be exact) didn't write the book, or that it couldn't write the book. It could, and it did. However, the book it wrote sucked so badly, in my opinion, that I would never have admitted I had much to do with it.  It wasn't just what the thing wrote, it was the layout, the wording, and the way that it disregarded what I wanted and took off on its own. I don't know if it was thinking (can an AI think?) that I would be happy with their choices rather than my own, but I was not.

    When the book was finished, I hadn't even read one page before noticing that the word wrap wasn't engaged, and a word like "word" would have the "w" at the end of the line, and the "ord" would be on the next line. I tried to fix it, and it got worse. Maybe it's me, maybe I don't know how to fix Word documents as well as I thought I could, but it was a mess. I tried justifying the entire document, and it made it worse. I couldn't begin reading it for all the spacing issues. I finally decided to just read it, and ignore them -- but it frustrated me so terribly that I had to give up.

    When I did get around to reading what was written, I laughed. My main characters were Bindy Vance and Marley Knox. The AI had them as Bindi Vance and Charles Marley. Yeah, well, that's not what I told it. Then, it decided to kill off Bindy's mother - Disney much?  The book started off with the mother dying, and how Bindy's love for her mother's dreams led her to move to Scotland to fulfill her mother's unfulfilled destiny. NOPE! That is NOT what I asked for, not by a million miles.  TRASHED IT.

    I think I read half of the first chapter before skipping through the next 300 pages and finding more and more discrepancies; too many to remember. I consumed a lot of chocolate in the process, just trying to calm myself. I couldn't have been more disappointed if I had tried. I decided to scrap the entire project and tell the world my opinion of having thought it was a good idea to allow AI to run free with my words. I've learned it's not only a bad idea, but it's also something we should consider if we use AI to do anything else for us.

    I noticed something else after reading the first half of the first chapter. I guess it never dawned on me before, but all my lead characters in my novels are women, unless they are Nick Posh. Nick Posh, of course, is the lead character in all of the Nick Posh books, but in all of my non-Nick books, the character that is the lead is a woman. I don't know if I did that subconsciously because Nick was in all the Nick Posh books, or if it is because I like developing other characters. My best friend likes the fact. She's always been a big girl-power type. I'm not really bothered either way.

    No more AI for me, in that I won't ask it to do more than just take a line or two and fluff it. I ask it to give me a good start for a paragraph, or to add color to this or that paragraph. I write my own books. I'm almost 99% sure that I wouldn't have liked the book even if it had been written to my input -- I would have found a reason to hate it because I didn't write it. I'm such a snob. People will ask me if I read this or that author, and I don't. Sorry, I don't. I don't have time to read much because I'm writing. I prefer to do the fingers on the keys thing - it's who I am.

    That's it. That's all I have for you. I'll let my friend Brandi Kinikin know that she'll just have to be embedded into the next Posh book instead of into the modern-day Highland romance I titled "Cheeky!".  She'll understand. I may use her maiden name because I already have a Brandianne Kiskis in one of my Posh books -- it's not the same, I know, but pretty close. I like to keep things a little less confusing if I can.  I'll make her a really interesting character -- she'll love it. OK then, I'm off to start the next Posh book -- ON MY OWN -- without any help from any AI until I need a flash of fun...but just a flash. I wouldn't trust anyone or anything with Nick!

Photo Credit: Me.

New Juicer.

     Hello! I'm coming to you from my office, where I have just sat down again after getting up to go to the kitchen to make myself a juice in my new juicer. Yes, you read that correctly. I have a new juicer. I did the whole looking it up on my Facebook timeline, to see when it was that I bought my old juicer - a really good one, and it was 2011. That's 15 years, and yes, it's still working. There is nothing wrong with it. I may end up donating it to someone. I replaced it with one literally half its size that does the same thing.

    Kitchen space is premium, you know. You can't have every gadget and/or appliance out on your cabinet. You have to decide which ones are worthy and which ones are not. I don't drink coffee anymore, so the espresso machine and the coffee maker were left behind before I moved to the new house. It was a little hard to give them away, but I did. I found good homes for both of them. The juicer probably won't be any more difficult, to be honest. It's a lovely machine, and if it weren't so bulky and intricate, I'd keep it. Believe me when I say that fifteen years of engineering and technology have come a long way!

    The Hamilton Beach model, big, bulky, white with green trim, and about 7 or 8 different parts, was too big to leave out, and if I wanted to drag it out every day, I'd be bending over and lifting and washing, drying it, and bending back over to put it away again. Then, because it was put away, I'd make up some excuse not to make another juice until the weekend. I didn't want that - I know how horrible I can be. I decided to get a more compact machine, one that will be out on the counter screaming at me to use it.

    I went with the Tuumiist Cold Press Juicer with a 5.3" extra-large feed chute so I can put whole fruits and vegetables in it, and I watch it grind away, stripping all the peels and/or pulp from the liquid goodness that comes out the other side. Very handy-dandy, and quite interesting to observe.  It was $85.47 on Amazon, with taxes and all about $94 I think. Close to that. I decided to celebrate; to treat myself for having been named Employee of the Year at work -- God is simply too good! He deserves the applause. I'll take the juice. (Which is funny, because He made that too.)

    I can't wait to put several orange halves into the machine and watch them churn. I didn't have everything I needed today to make anything special, but I did have carrots, spinach, ginger, and pineapple, so that's what I made! The pineapple wasn't a whole fruit. I did cheat a bit. I have 100% pineapple juice in a carton that I use for my afternoon snack; I used it. When I get the oranges, I'll try to make something really bright and colorful - maybe mix a few raspberries into the thing!

    Why juice instead of just eating the carrots or maybe a spinach salad? The simple answer is you can blend them, whereas when you eat a carrot, you get a carrot. Yes, the fiber is very important. That's why I keep the fiber from the vegetables and fruit I juice, and mix it with a little bran flour, eggs, and a few other ingredients to make muffins that absolutely hit the spot. (I don't do that every time, but I do it enough.)  

    I can soak walnuts overnight, then add them to the juicer to make a really good milk.  I've only done it once, but it was good. I added a little vanilla and cinnamon, and yes, it was a great treat - really good stuff.  I'm thinking of making cookies with the leftover pulp—I can freeze it and decide later. I'm really hoping the juicer will push me to keep my health up, exercise more, eat less, and be more aware of what I put into my body. I need the reminder. 

    One of the recipes that I found online that I know will be a fantastic drink for me is the Detox Green. (hurom.com) A lot of other people call it something else; it's not new or original, but it is a good green detox. It has 4 ingredients: spinach, lemon, cucumber, and ginger. I'd say for me, it's about a cup of spinach, 1/2 a cucumber, 1/4 of a lemon, and just about 1/2 an inch of ginger. If I need to add a little water, I will, or a little pineapple juice. I drink between 4 and 6 ounces in the morning when I remember. 

    Grabbing a juice instead of a candy bar makes a lot more sense to me. Grabbing a carrot or a stick of celery may not happen every time, but I open the fridge and shake up something I juiced earlier, and it's not only better for me, but it's also cold, and it's filling. The calorie intake is way, way lower, and I know I'm helping my old body stay (or get) fit. I need that reminder most every single day -- oh, you know, 5x a day.

    This getting-old stuff is for the birds, I have to be honest. It is not for the faint of heart, and if you don't know what your plan is for your body when it happens, it could be hard to kickstart once the slouch of life has grabbed hold of you. My friends, some of whom have always been healthy and others who have not, all agree that juicing is a great way to get the vitamins, minerals, liquids, and flavors you need. The healthier ones will tell me to save the pulp for another purpose.

    Amazon has a lot of choices for you, as does any Walmart, Target, or home store, probably. Do a little research first to determine what you want. The slower, low-speed (one-speed) 300W cold press is the one I went with because I wanted to watch it churn.  I like the way it fits in the kitchen. It's easy to disassemble and clean, and it's not hard to put back together and use again. I literally just spray it clean with hot water - I don't have to clean out the base because nothing gets into the mechanism, which, by the way, did happen with the older model. I'm telling you, technology and engineering have made a big improvement over the past decade and a half.

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Employee of the Year (2025) !!

     I have an amazing job. I mean, I'm an author, sure, but it doesn't pay the bills, so I have a regular job as well. I'm a claims adjuster by day, and I truly love my job. I have been in the insurance world since 1983, but have only been an adjuster for the past 10-12 years, I suppose.  I've definitely sold insurance; every line imaginable. I was set to take the exams to sell index-driven products, but decided to adjust instead. 

    When someone tells you they are a claims adjuster, they could work directly with insurance companies like State Farm or Farmers, or they could work for a company and adjust claims coming in through assignment or subrogation. Let's say I'm an adjuster working for a large county or a state. I would then receive a subrogation package with a demand, explaining why someone else thinks my county or state owes them. I would look at both sides of the event and work to get the best deal for whoever pays me. Well, I do that, but for the people making the accusations.

    I work for a recovery team, basically. Large corporations (of which you would know their names) have hired us to recover money they believe is owed to them through motor vehicle accidents, underground excavation accidents, and above-ground communication incidents, which require the two sides to analyze their respective sides to come to a resolution as to whether or not the other side (not ours) is responsible. The reason I say the other side and not ours is that in EVERY case, our side is the innocent party.

    Well, you say, that sounds a bit selfish and conceited. It's not. What I mean is, our clients had facilities just minding their own business (working) when someone or something else caused them to stop working. It could be an automobile, an excavator, a fire, anything except an Act of God. We don't try to collect from Him. If He causes a situation, we advise our client(s) to submit the claim through their own insurance. We only collect from the parties that actually did the damage.

    I've been doing this job (at this company) for about 2 years now. I have to tell you, I absolutely love it. I speak to so many interesting and not always agreeable people all day long. I consider it a good day if I don't lose my temper and say something I shouldn't; but my employers understand when I (or we adjusters) do, because we're literally being blamed and accused of things we would not do, could not do, and certainly have no reason to do. Control and forced politeness is a key part of my job.

    We have three divisions in Recovery. I'm in the Underground or Plant division. We work with those clients who lay lines for communication, gas, sewer, power, and so forth. We have some DOT clients as well that we recover for when they need us.  In my department, we have a dozen adjusters. There are probably that many more in the other two departments, so to be nominated and then to win Employee of the Year for the Recovery is super exciting!! I'm blown away by it, and very excited to know that my colleagues like my work and that they believe in me as a co-worker and, hopefully, a good friend.

    I was asked by a member of management today if I might think about becoming a manager; he had a department he wanted me to run. I had to laugh -- but in a nice way. I explained to him that I won't come into the office. I like wearing my pajamas or sweats all day. I don't wear makeup, work strictly from home, and will not work overtime. I make more at my job than I have in years.  It's more or less a commission thing—and I bust myself to make it.

    God is the real Employee of the Year...and decade, century, millinneium and eternity for that matter. He's the one I go to for help with my job. He's the one I ask for help. He's the one I pray to every morning, asking Him to shut my mouth before I say something that will embarrass both of us. If  I receive any praise or someone wants to tell me how good a job I have done, I think it's best to tell the truth and say it wasn't me. I was the vessel, sure, but He's the anchor and the motivator, and for that, I am very, very thankful.

    I want to stay where I am. I want to keep doing what I'm doing. I love it. I should have done this years ago!! If I knew it was out there, I would have. When I think of someone being a claims adjuster, I think of workers' compensation, bodily injury for personal injury attorneys, and I think of residential or automotive adjusters trying to cut you a bad deal. I never knew a claims adjuster could have as much fun as I do every day, or work with such... interesting... yes, interesting people. From the damagers who make excuses to the adverse adjusters who do their best to do the same, I love my job.

    Thank you, "Company" (I try to keep that out of the limelight as much as I can), because I am not only your Employee of the Year, I'm one of your biggest fans. 

Photo Credit: Clean Link

AI - Nope!

      So, nope. I'm not going to use the Type AI to help me write my books. It has proven to be a bit of a pain in the butt to be honest. There is another program called Sakura that I used for the other books, a couple of them anyway. It wasn't as expensive, and it did exactly what I needed it to do. I only asked it for help, not to write the book. With Type AI, I thought I would have a bit of fun and let it write an entire book for me to read after I gave it very specific instructions about what I wanted the book to be about. It did not do what I asked.

    First, (and this is my fault), I wrote out the instructions for what I wanted, and in doing so, realized I had been too vague. I gave the AI the overall skeleton of what I thought the book should be: fill in the blanks with all the character development, situations, circumstances, plot, and everything, but it was at least supposed to follow my instructions. It did not.

    What I got was a 45,000-word document with holes, a repeated narrative, situations I specifically said I didn't want, and it just rambled on and on without following the line or keeping to the basic plot I gave it. When I asked for more and for corrections, it only got worse. The whole book was scrapped, and I asked it to start over. I was again, very specific about the characters not falling in love, not getting married, not having children -- but there we were, six or seven years into their story, and they're celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary with twins and another baby on the way.

    I wrote into the instructions for the AI to scrap the book again, to pay attention to the details I set out for it, and what I got this time was stranger still.  It had many block corrections, a color-coded narrative, footnotes, and more. This is a novel, not an essay! It wrote another 37,000 words and asked me if it needed to be more detailed—well, since I want an 85,000-word document—YES!

    I'm going to write to the company and ask for my money back. I don't know if I'll get it, but I am going to ask. I am truly disappointed in the thing—it was supposed to be fun, but like the bread maker, it was frustrating and anything but enjoyable.  I'll just write the damn book myself and be done with it. I don't mind, I write all my books, but this one was supposed to be different -- and it was, I suppose. It was a complete disaster.

    I can use Sakura for flavor and color -and that's all I really need AI for anyway - it's just if you go into a restaurant where you can order what you want off the menu and ask the chef to prepare it just the way you want it, and they bring you out a dish that (a) you didn't order (b) was not anything like what you ordered, you shouldn't be expected to pay for it. I hope they will give me my money back. At least I learned a little about using AI.

    I have to laugh at one thing. My main characters are Bindy Vance and Marley Knox, a man and a woman. After writing over 37,000 words, and about to have the two people getting engaged and married, the machine decides to ask me if Marley is a man or a woman - it wrote the book as if Marley was female! NO...he's a man!!  In my instructions, I say he, he, he, and for the AI to ask me what gender he is, just stopped me. I wanted to kick it, but you can't - I mean, if you did, you'd hurt your foot.

    This week has been a week for learning, I can tell you that. I'm dealing with another personal issue that needs to be settled, but that's a God thing. He can handle that one. I'm not sure I'll bother Him with the AI issue—I can just ditch it and move forward. There are too many other options to worry about it. The bread maker issue, which left me with enough bread to make 5 or 6 big batches of bread pudding, is enough to deal with. I mean, I have no doubt what will actually happen is the birds will feast - and I'll just wash my hands of the fantasy of being a bread maker! (Even AI couldn't mess up as badly as I did) 

Photo Credit: HTX.Gov.SG

THANKS ZACH & ANNIE!! (Simple Scottish Living)

      A couple of weeks ago, my friends Zach and Annie, who run the really cool YouTube channel Simple Scottish Living, asked if it would be OK for them to review one of my books on their channel. YES!! (of course, I had to pretend to be controlled in my enthusiasm, but I think they understood the countless emojis) It wasn't just any of my books; it was "Dion", the book I wrote about an American lawyer going to Scotland to investigate her ancestral inheritance.  I put Zach and Annie in the book for a bit of modern-day authenticity, and they repaid me big time with an awesome review.

    If you haven't checked out Zach and Annie's channel yet, please do. They also have a website. (Simple Scottish Living)  to guide people hoping to move overseas through the process with less hassle. They've been through it, and they want to share their advice and expertise with anyone who needs it. If I were moving to Scotland, they would be my first call! I know enough to know I would need help. I've decided to stay stateside and to remain in Oklahoma, but if I were going to move or even go on an extended stay, it would behoove me (and you) to get as much information about the differences and challenges as you can.

    Having a good book review is key to every future sale or exposure of not only that book, but any book an author writes. It's been said that all publicity is good, but that's simply not true. Bad publicity can be detrimental to a book's sales, whereas a sweet, kind, giving, sharing, informative, and thoughtful book review can go a long way toward helping an author achieve unexpected goals! I really want to thank Zach and Annie for their great book review of "Dion" today on their channel; it truly warmed my heart to see it. (I watched it a few times, to be honest.) 

    I just wrote a book called "Cheeky!" that I'm going to tweak and send up to the publisher at the end of March. I finished "Cumberland" a week ago and sent it up for publication this week. It will be available on Amazon on March 7. I think "Cheeky!" will be for sale on April 1. So, yes, Zach was right when he said I was a prolific writer - I write. I am so very happy, so very grateful, and so very hopeful that I can write as much as I do. I don't (and haven't) written to sell the books, but to write them. It is fun, however, to see reviews, to sell books, and to know that people actually like what I write!! It's very exciting. Sometimes I can't comprehend it, but it is really cool.

    So, thank you, Annie. Thank you, Zach. I truly mean it when I say I look forward to your weekend YouTube videos. They are always homespun, loving, family-oriented, and fun. I learn a great deal, and I love the fact that you guys work so well together. You give, take, compromise, and make decisions together. You're individually wonderful and collectively amazing!! Kiss the kids for me, and of course, Finnigan! I hope the next projects work out as well as the previous ones have for you. OH...and congratulations on beating England for the Calcutta cup this week!! (31-20) I won't pretend I understand a minute of it, but if we can beat England, I'm all in!

Photo Credit: SimpleScottishLiving 

My Bad!

     My bad! My bad! I raise my hand easily enough and let the world know that it was me, not anyone else, who needs to carry all the responsibility and take all the blame for this particular botch-up! Mine! All mine, you can't have it, I claim it. Here we go. I thought making bread for a hobby would be a fun thing to do.  I looked into it, I researched. I watched YouTubers make their bread in their bread machines, and I went out and bought one! I even took the time to research that part of it, too. 

    I didn't want to pour too much money into it if it was going to be a new hobby. First, I wanted to see what was out there, and then get something that was affordable, durable, reliable, etc... and I bought the Elite Gourmet. There's nothing wrong with it - believe me when I tell you, it's me.  I made about five loaves in the machine before throwing hissy-fit after hissy-fit when the loaves just didn't turn out the way I thought they should. They weren't tall, fluffy, pristinely tan, or even even -- they were certainly NOT even. 

    Well, turns out, you can't or shouldn't use all-purpose flour when you make bread in a bread machine. Lesson learned. I bought bread flour, wheat flour, and a few other things I thought would be fun to add to quick breads later, like raisins, walnuts, chia, and so forth. I'll make those breads, yes, I will, but not in a bread machine. I'll continue my little rant, and you can figure it out for yourself.

    After three more loaves in the Elite Gourmet bread machine with the same result, even though I had switched flour, made sure my water temperature was between 75 and 90 degrees F, and that my yeast wasn't touching the salt or the water, I sent the Elite Gourmet machine packing back to Amazon! That was not the machine for me. I needed to cook the bread longer, but once it's done, it's done. You can't add more time to it - and if you can, I never figured out how to do it. 

    I bought a Cuisinart! $130 vs. $70, but it's all about having fun, right? Yes, that's what I told myself. It's all about having a great time making bread -- eating bread. I ended up feeding most of it to the birds, and yes, they did appreciate it. I, on the other hand, do not appreciate having to give away my product after spending time, effort, money, and hope on this (what I thought would be) new hobby -- I made a loaf -- it was bad. Seriously? What was it? What could it be? Oklahoma is only 1330 feet above sea level, so it wasn't elevation -- I hit the internet with my questions. I got answers.

    Turns out it was me! It was ME all along. No one else was putting the ingredients into the basket...me. I wasn't using sugar. I was using monk fruit, a natural sweetener that isn't sugar -- it has to be sugar. IT MUST BE SUGAR!  The recipes did say you can use honey if you want to, but it needs the carbs for the yeast to feed on and rise -- OK...now, I know, right?  So, here I go -- one more loaf -- one more time.  I used honey and did everything exactly as instructed, but it still turned out badly. It wasn't AS BAD, but if I had to rank it, I would say 6.5/10, not anywhere near what I needed it or wanted it to be.

    Well, that's it. My bread machine days are over, and I'm OK with it. I'll just make quick breads from mixes and call it a day. I really don't mind. If we need a loaf of artisan bread, I'd rather buy a loaf than spend the time I did making worthlessness out of good ingredients. Like I said, the birds didn't mind. They were very happy to see me pitching the chunks of brick-bread out to them - they shared, and pecked at each piece with such enthusiasm. At least I have that.

    The Cuisinart goes back on Monday. UPS is closed on Sundays, and this being Valentine's Day, I'm just too wrapped up in my comfy jammies to do anything really productive like taking a bread machine back to UPS to be shipped to Amazon - it can wait.  I guess the moral to this story, if there needs to be one, is that I should have (a) read the fine print and (b) not expected so much from a product that basically just does what it does and can't really improve just because my expectations were higher than they needed to be. 

    Still, it does make me wonder how people on YouTube get their bread to do more than mine did. I used the right ingredients, put them in the basket at the right temperature, in the right order, and I pushed the right buttons -- but, alas, it is not to be. Maybe someone else will read this blog and save themselves a weekend of frustration and $25 worth of ingredients to make bird food. (OK, I'll say this, the dogs liked it too.) 

Photo Credit: The Oklahoman. 

Nope! Take Two!

     I keep thinking today is Friday, but it's not. I have to work all day tomorrow before I'm off work for the weekend. I have great plans for the weekend, you know.  For one thing, I'm taking my Elite Gourmet bread maker back to Amazon and getting a full refund. It will go far towards the new Cuisinart bread maker. The difference is about $60—let me see: $130 minus $70 —yes, that's $60. I don't mind paying the extra; I really don't. I'll make it up in the bread because what I was spending on the concoction that came out of the Elite Gourmet could, yes, be classified as bread, but the birds are the greater benefactors. I say that, I'm also using a loaf to make bread pudding -- this weekend.

     So, what happened? What went wrong? Well, it's the old adage I guess; you get what you pay for. The Elite Gourmet is good for what some would say are "beginners," and I am certainly one of those when it comes to baking bread. I am so new, so green, so untested, but I know a bad loaf of bread when I see one, and now that I've made 3 or 4 of them, I know it's not just me. I made an amazing loaf the first time, but there were things that could have been better, so I set out to do that.

    The first 3 loaves were made with all-purpose flour, which is not recommended. When the first one came out good; or good enough, I thought, "This is easy."  It's not. It's simple, yes, but it's not easy. You put in the ingredients and hit the buttons, right? Easy! The fact is, you don't just push buttons. I know I pushed the right ones because I read the instructions twice. I did everything exactly the same way, but the dough didn't take, and well—there's not much I can control. The bread maker controls that, doesn't it?

    I do have to laugh and tell on myself now.  The 2nd loaf never got the chance to bake because somewhere between the kneading cycle and the fermenting, I realized I had put in 2.5 TABLESPOONS of dry yeast, when the recipe called for 2.5 TEASPOONS of dry yeast - yep, that was me. That was all me, and I laughed myself silly trying to clean up that mess. I started again, and did things correctly, but the bread was thick and gooey (hardish but gooey), and it didn't rise like it was supposed to. It was short, squatty, lighter than it was supposed to be, and all the birds thanked me- I could hear it in their chirps!

    Amazon it is! Laura dug the original box out of the bin, and I cleaned up the Elite Gourmet - repacked it, and it will be on its way to retirement, or wherever used appliances go, tomorrow after work.  I ordered the new machine. It'll be here around 10:00 a.m., and I'll bust it open at lunch time to make a loaf to see if it's going to be more promising. Now, before you go off saying I need bread flour -- I bought it. The last loaf I made was with fabulous bread flour, less water (1.5 cups instead of 1.75 cups), and I added olive oil as well as butter (1/2 and 1/2), so yeah, it was destined to be fantastic - until it wasn't.

    I knew I was only to use the Basic mode; it was white bread. I knew that was good. I used 1.5 pounds each time and set the color to medium, but the Elite Gourmet, though it took 3 full hours to run its course, doesn't allow you to add time when you can clearly see the bread needs at least 20 more minutes of baking. If there is a feature that allows it, I didn't see it, and I looked. Maybe it's there, I don't know, but I know the Cuisinart has one. I know it does, and it has a boatload more positive reviews to boot.

    The Cuisinart had 17K reviews at 4.8 stars, where the Elite Gourmet had about 8K reviews and 4.7 stars.  The Cuisinart is the brand a lot of YouTubers use, and they show you the results, which I am sure the Elite Gourmet people do as well, but let me just say, I knew when I bought it that the cheaper model would be less than what I wanted. I hate being right sometimes, but I was right this time. Of course, that doesn't mean the new machine will be much better—I am hoping it is, though—we'll just have to see.

    I'm not going to take the Cuisinart back. I will use it unless, of course, the bread is only good for feeding fowl, and then yeah, it too will be back in the warehouse; but I think I'll be OK. I went online and bought wheat flour, bread flour, flaxseed, chia seeds, and other ingredients to make the experience that much better —so it's bread pudding this weekend, but hopefully it's sweet breads (zucchini, banana, and lemon-chia seed next). Fun times! Bread times!

Photo Credit: WilliamSonoma.com (The Cuisinart) 

My First Loaf of Bread

      I can't actually post this post until the bread I'm making is out of the bread maker, sliced, and tasted. I'm literally waiting for it to bake, but while I do, I thought I would go over the thoughts I had when I opened the box to pull out the new machine and start using it. I think I chose the right machine. I could tell when I lifted the box it was in, that it was going to be just the right size. It weighs about 10 pounds and can make a good-sized 2-pound loaf.  That will feed my daughter and I about 3 sandwiches each.

    Since I wanted the bread maker to make different types of bread, I'm sort of laughing at myself for making the first loaf a very simple white loaf instead of something really cool and exotic. I am using all-purpose flour and monk fruit rather than sugar. I am using grapeseed oil and butter, so there's that. I'll let you know how it turns out, and if it doesn't -- well, there are plenty of birds outside that won't mind cleaning up my mess.

    The Elite Gourmet machine is about $70 on Amazon. If it had been at Walmart, they were selling them for $66, but it wasn't there, so there you go - same difference really. I also ordered a really cool bread recipe book, and it came at the same time. I glanced through it and will pick up everything I need to make zucchini bread, oatmeal bread, orange-cranberry-walnut bread, and cinnamon-raisin bread, too. I'm pretty excited about it, and if I get really good at it, I'll start giving some away to friends when they ask for loaves.

    I wasn't happy that I couldn't simply pull out the basket when the machine arrived. It was really difficult to get out of the machine. I watched a YouTube video, and it looked easy. What I laughed about, and had to show my daughter, is that the sweet man who made the video said to his audience, "If you have to get your husband to do it for you, you might ask him for his help, it's not that easy at first."  Once the machine has been used a few times, I think it eases up, but he cracked me up with that one. I let Laura know she was the closest thing I had to a husband -she was ready to help, but I managed to get it out without too many tries. (I did cuss once)

    I watched three separate videos about the mechanics of it all, and after the third one (all less than 5 minutes), I was ready to make my first loaf.  I'll share the very simple recipe I used and walk you through it. You don't want the yeast to touch the liquid; once it does, it begins to activate, so be sure it's the last thing you add before closing the lid.  BEFORE you mix your ingredients, put the stir-handle or paddle into the basket, and set the basket in place before pouring everything into it.

• 1-3/4 cups of warm water
• 2 tablespoons of oil (I used grapeseed)
• 2 tablespoons of butter - room temp
• 1.5 teaspoons of salt
• 2 tablespoons of sugar (I used monk fruit)
• 4 cups of flour (I used all-purpose)
• 2 teaspoons of dry active yeast (pellets)

That's it, and in that order. When you add the yeast, make a small dent or hole to pour it into so it doesn't touch the liquid.

     You make sure the basket is secure, and you close the lid. On top of the lid are all the buttons to make the thing work. You go in order there as well. Menu — find the number at the top of the machine that matches what you are making. I chose #1 because it is a basic loaf of bread. Then you choose the size, 2 pounds. Then you choose the color (I went with medium) and press Start. The machine literally programs itself. Mine went to 3:00 (3 hours), and when you hit start, the mixing stage begins.

    

    The slight roar lets you know that it's working. You hear it spin, knead, and move around. You can open the lid and watch. I did that for a minute to be sure I was doing it right. Then, you literally let it go - wait -- and it does it all. I mix the ingredients, push a few buttons, and bam....done. I'm hoping for a nice little loaf of bread in about 2.5 hours, and I'll let it cool, slice it, spread a little butter and honey on it, and post it. If it sucks, it sucks, but I think it will be fine.

    I just checked on it. I have 2:09 to go (hours and minutes), and the first cycle is over. It beeped quite a bit to say it was changing gears from kneading to rising or something -- it's spinning now. I took a little video and posted it on Facebook. My friends know I'm odd, so they're used to it-- but hey, it's exciting.  My little kitchen will be so much fun. I can make pizza dough, cakes, yogurt, jams -- I'm just going to go crazy, I can tell you that.  I'm so happy right now.

    

    OK, nothing left to do but wait and give you the full update once it's finished. 

THERE YOU GO - it's not bad. It's not GREAT, but it' snot bad. I hit 1.5 pounds instead of 2 so it's a little under cooked, but has the consistency of dinner rolls from a restaurant. I'll finish this one in a couple of days and do it again!

I LOVE IT. 

Photo Credit: Me!

Bread Machine. (I'm Doin' it)

      There really is no reason for me to do what I'm doing next. I wasn't watching a television show about it, and I didn't see any commercials either. I think maybe I may have had a dream that I owned a bread-making machine -that could be it. I think I bought it on Marketplace now that I sort of remember dreaming about it. I didn't have the dream too recently either, but hey, it is what it is - I bought a bread maker. 

    I ended up buying one on Amazon after scouring my local Walmart for the brand and model I'd found online. The El Reno Walmart didn't have the model; in fact, they didn't have a single bread machine in the store. I found that odd, but it was in fact a fact. I decided that Amazon had to have a good deal on one, so I started the search again when I got home.  I did, however, because I was in Walmart, buy all the ingredients I needed to bake bread myself.

    Amazon, if you didn't know, has a LOT of choices for buying a new bread machine. I decided to go with critic review rather than worry too much about price. Most of the machines were between $70 - $120, so not much difference there. Most of them were 500W, 550W, or 600W, and most of them did just about the same things. All of the bread makers were programmable. They made 1-, 1.5-, and 2-lb loaves. They also made jams, yogurts, and other things. I never knew these machines were so versatile. I think maybe, if I had known that, I would have bought one sooner than I did.

    I found a machine that was affordable; in fact, it was on the lower end of the price range. It had nearly 8000 reviews and a 4.7-star rating! That's good. I decided to buy it, and I did. It will come to my house tomorrow - that was another thing I wanted. I liked another model, but it was out of stock and wouldn't arrive until sometime in March (a month away).  I'll post the one I bought, and you can tell me what you think.

    Amazon also had a bread-making recipe book for bread makers, priced under $5, so it was purchased as well. I know the machine has a little flip book with a few good recipes too, but I wanted something with pictures, so I know if what I'm attempting to do will turn out anything like the ones that were pretty enough for the photos. There is something else, too -- Amazon and other places sell ready-mix bread machine mixes you can buy and literally add oil and water and be done with it. They range from $7-16 for ONE LOAF!  That's ridiculous!

    I did the math, and one loaf in the maker should cost me no more than $1, and that's if I use cranberries, orange juice, and cinnamon for the fancy loaves.  I am so excited to get started and see what sort of mess I can make in my kitchen. I have a lovely little bar-flat area to use, which just makes this house that much more enjoyable and loved. I have wanted to bake more, and this will help. I think my sister may have a bread maker - I think I remember that. I really don't know anyone else who has one.

    I'll keep you posted on the outcome of it all, and of course, if I really suck at it, I'll let you know that too. I'm not above telling the truth. It can't be worse than me trying to teach myself how to play guitar - nothing can be that bad. I love them, I really do -- and I think they love me too, but yeah, it's not going to happen. When I think about it, I should have just stopped with one and been done -- oh well, you live, you learn, and then, because you can -- you bake bread.

Photo Credit:  Amazon.com (The Elite Gourmet EBM8103B)

"Cumberland" (Now the End is Near)

      The book "Cumberland" is written, it's 85,400 words strong, and I think it will be between 350 and 360 pages.  I have to complete the Thank You page, the Dedication, the Disclaimer, and the Author Notes. I've just gone through it and worked out the paragraph spacing. It's funny, in some novels you don't see any spaces between paragraphs, and in some you do. I think I've done that too, in my own writing. I hate that I have. I may need to someday, not today, go through them all to make them more consistent with each other, but I really don't think I'll ever get around to doing that. If a publishing house ever wants to buy the rights from me and do that, I'll let them. Until then, no, it is what it is.

    So, "Cumberland" is done. Now I'll go through it ONE MORE time and check for errors before sending it up to be printed. Then, once it's printed, it comes back to me as a book, and I go through it again to find even more mistakes. I am a strong believer that you can't really find your own mistakes very easily - I have to have the book in my hands to see it as a book before I can find them all, and even then, I don't find each and every single mistake. It is, again, as it is. I'm not going to fret over it. Nothing in life is worth that much fretting.

    To say the book is good is a matter of opinion. I certainly like it. I'm still making small adjustments, and they should be done by the end of next Saturday. Sunday next, around Feb 15th or so, it should be ready to send up for publication. When it returns 10 days later, I'll go through it and send it back up with final revisions around the 1st of March. I'm on schedule!! That always makes me happy. I was sick a couple of times during this book's writing, so I didn't know if I would remain on my personally set timetable or what - but so far, so good.

    When the book goes up for print, I'll start writing the next book. It's going to be a full-fledged silly and nonsensical book - written nearly entirely by the AI I call TEAGUE.  I'll let loose with my instructions, of course, say what I think should happen, chapter by chapter, and then let the AI write it. If I like it, I'll keep it; if not, I'll scrap it and start over. It's an experiment, one I'm looking forward to partaking in, and one I hope will be fun and beneficial.

    "Cumberland", though a little dark at times, is a good book. Poor Nick Posh is in for some really rough waters - and then some. He's left home alone to mourn when his grandfather dies, and has to leave his family to take an assignment that should take one week but ends up taking over a month. His car is swept out from under him in a freak rainstorm, which floods the entire area. He nearly drowns, hurts himself, gets kidnapped, and is betrayed by the man who hired him! It's a mess to be sure -- and somewhere in the middle of it all, he has to actually do his detective work and find a dead body that's been hidden for over 10 years.

    You'd think he would just give it all up, but he can't! His wife just gave birth again - the family is growing, and he's got tuition to save for! How can he quit? He can't quit because his best friend just moved from Chicago to Oklahoma City to join him in his detective agency - one he didn't realize he had; he typically works alone. Well, it's all tipsy-turvy now! Some folks say that the mountains in Tennessee hold too many secrets, while others say they hold their own. Nick finds out the hard way - and he'll never forget it.

    I liked writing "Cumberland". It wasn't planned, but hey, some of the best things in life are unforeseen until they pop up and smack you right between the eyes - REALITY!! 

Photo Credit: Me (it's my own barn door)