AI - Nope!

      So, nope. I'm not going to use the Type AI to help me write my books. It has proven to be a bit of a pain in the butt to be honest. There is another program called Sakura that I used for the other books, a couple of them anyway. It wasn't as expensive, and it did exactly what I needed it to do. I only asked it for help, not to write the book. With Type AI, I thought I would have a bit of fun and let it write an entire book for me to read after I gave it very specific instructions about what I wanted the book to be about. It did not do what I asked.

    First, (and this is my fault), I wrote out the instructions for what I wanted, and in doing so, realized I had been too vague. I gave the AI the overall skeleton of what I thought the book should be: fill in the blanks with all the character development, situations, circumstances, plot, and everything, but it was at least supposed to follow my instructions. It did not.

    What I got was a 45,000-word document with holes, a repeated narrative, situations I specifically said I didn't want, and it just rambled on and on without following the line or keeping to the basic plot I gave it. When I asked for more and for corrections, it only got worse. The whole book was scrapped, and I asked it to start over. I was again, very specific about the characters not falling in love, not getting married, not having children -- but there we were, six or seven years into their story, and they're celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary with twins and another baby on the way.

    I wrote into the instructions for the AI to scrap the book again, to pay attention to the details I set out for it, and what I got this time was stranger still.  It had many block corrections, a color-coded narrative, footnotes, and more. This is a novel, not an essay! It wrote another 37,000 words and asked me if it needed to be more detailed—well, since I want an 85,000-word document—YES!

    I'm going to write to the company and ask for my money back. I don't know if I'll get it, but I am going to ask. I am truly disappointed in the thing—it was supposed to be fun, but like the bread maker, it was frustrating and anything but enjoyable.  I'll just write the damn book myself and be done with it. I don't mind, I write all my books, but this one was supposed to be different -- and it was, I suppose. It was a complete disaster.

    I can use Sakura for flavor and color -and that's all I really need AI for anyway - it's just if you go into a restaurant where you can order what you want off the menu and ask the chef to prepare it just the way you want it, and they bring you out a dish that (a) you didn't order (b) was not anything like what you ordered, you shouldn't be expected to pay for it. I hope they will give me my money back. At least I learned a little about using AI.

    I have to laugh at one thing. My main characters are Bindy Vance and Marley Knox, a man and a woman. After writing over 37,000 words, and about to have the two people getting engaged and married, the machine decides to ask me if Marley is a man or a woman - it wrote the book as if Marley was female! NO...he's a man!!  In my instructions, I say he, he, he, and for the AI to ask me what gender he is, just stopped me. I wanted to kick it, but you can't - I mean, if you did, you'd hurt your foot.

    This week has been a week for learning, I can tell you that. I'm dealing with another personal issue that needs to be settled, but that's a God thing. He can handle that one. I'm not sure I'll bother Him with the AI issue—I can just ditch it and move forward. There are too many other options to worry about it. The bread maker issue, which left me with enough bread to make 5 or 6 big batches of bread pudding, is enough to deal with. I mean, I have no doubt what will actually happen is the birds will feast - and I'll just wash my hands of the fantasy of being a bread maker! (Even AI couldn't mess up as badly as I did) 

Photo Credit: HTX.Gov.SG

THANKS ZACH & ANNIE!! (Simple Scottish Living)

      A couple of weeks ago, my friends Zach and Annie, who run the really cool YouTube channel Simple Scottish Living, asked if it would be OK for them to review one of my books on their channel. YES!! (of course, I had to pretend to be controlled in my enthusiasm, but I think they understood the countless emojis) It wasn't just any of my books; it was "Dion", the book I wrote about an American lawyer going to Scotland to investigate her ancestral inheritance.  I put Zach and Annie in the book for a bit of modern-day authenticity, and they repaid me big time with an awesome review.

    If you haven't checked out Zach and Annie's channel yet, please do. They also have a website. (Simple Scottish Living)  to guide people hoping to move overseas through the process with less hassle. They've been through it, and they want to share their advice and expertise with anyone who needs it. If I were moving to Scotland, they would be my first call! I know enough to know I would need help. I've decided to stay stateside and to remain in Oklahoma, but if I were going to move or even go on an extended stay, it would behoove me (and you) to get as much information about the differences and challenges as you can.

    Having a good book review is key to every future sale or exposure of not only that book, but any book an author writes. It's been said that all publicity is good, but that's simply not true. Bad publicity can be detrimental to a book's sales, whereas a sweet, kind, giving, sharing, informative, and thoughtful book review can go a long way toward helping an author achieve unexpected goals! I really want to thank Zach and Annie for their great book review of "Dion" today on their channel; it truly warmed my heart to see it. (I watched it a few times, to be honest.) 

    I just wrote a book called "Cheeky!" that I'm going to tweak and send up to the publisher at the end of March. I finished "Cumberland" a week ago and sent it up for publication this week. It will be available on Amazon on March 7. I think "Cheeky!" will be for sale on April 1. So, yes, Zach was right when he said I was a prolific writer - I write. I am so very happy, so very grateful, and so very hopeful that I can write as much as I do. I don't (and haven't) written to sell the books, but to write them. It is fun, however, to see reviews, to sell books, and to know that people actually like what I write!! It's very exciting. Sometimes I can't comprehend it, but it is really cool.

    So, thank you, Annie. Thank you, Zach. I truly mean it when I say I look forward to your weekend YouTube videos. They are always homespun, loving, family-oriented, and fun. I learn a great deal, and I love the fact that you guys work so well together. You give, take, compromise, and make decisions together. You're individually wonderful and collectively amazing!! Kiss the kids for me, and of course, Finnigan! I hope the next projects work out as well as the previous ones have for you. OH...and congratulations on beating England for the Calcutta cup this week!! (31-20) I won't pretend I understand a minute of it, but if we can beat England, I'm all in!

Photo Credit: SimpleScottishLiving 

My Bad!

     My bad! My bad! I raise my hand easily enough and let the world know that it was me, not anyone else, who needs to carry all the responsibility and take all the blame for this particular botch-up! Mine! All mine, you can't have it, I claim it. Here we go. I thought making bread for a hobby would be a fun thing to do.  I looked into it, I researched. I watched YouTubers make their bread in their bread machines, and I went out and bought one! I even took the time to research that part of it, too. 

    I didn't want to pour too much money into it if it was going to be a new hobby. First, I wanted to see what was out there, and then get something that was affordable, durable, reliable, etc... and I bought the Elite Gourmet. There's nothing wrong with it - believe me when I tell you, it's me.  I made about five loaves in the machine before throwing hissy-fit after hissy-fit when the loaves just didn't turn out the way I thought they should. They weren't tall, fluffy, pristinely tan, or even even -- they were certainly NOT even. 

    Well, turns out, you can't or shouldn't use all-purpose flour when you make bread in a bread machine. Lesson learned. I bought bread flour, wheat flour, and a few other things I thought would be fun to add to quick breads later, like raisins, walnuts, chia, and so forth. I'll make those breads, yes, I will, but not in a bread machine. I'll continue my little rant, and you can figure it out for yourself.

    After three more loaves in the Elite Gourmet bread machine with the same result, even though I had switched flour, made sure my water temperature was between 75 and 90 degrees F, and that my yeast wasn't touching the salt or the water, I sent the Elite Gourmet machine packing back to Amazon! That was not the machine for me. I needed to cook the bread longer, but once it's done, it's done. You can't add more time to it - and if you can, I never figured out how to do it. 

    I bought a Cuisinart! $130 vs. $70, but it's all about having fun, right? Yes, that's what I told myself. It's all about having a great time making bread -- eating bread. I ended up feeding most of it to the birds, and yes, they did appreciate it. I, on the other hand, do not appreciate having to give away my product after spending time, effort, money, and hope on this (what I thought would be) new hobby -- I made a loaf -- it was bad. Seriously? What was it? What could it be? Oklahoma is only 1330 feet above sea level, so it wasn't elevation -- I hit the internet with my questions. I got answers.

    Turns out it was me! It was ME all along. No one else was putting the ingredients into the basket...me. I wasn't using sugar. I was using monk fruit, a natural sweetener that isn't sugar -- it has to be sugar. IT MUST BE SUGAR!  The recipes did say you can use honey if you want to, but it needs the carbs for the yeast to feed on and rise -- OK...now, I know, right?  So, here I go -- one more loaf -- one more time.  I used honey and did everything exactly as instructed, but it still turned out badly. It wasn't AS BAD, but if I had to rank it, I would say 6.5/10, not anywhere near what I needed it or wanted it to be.

    Well, that's it. My bread machine days are over, and I'm OK with it. I'll just make quick breads from mixes and call it a day. I really don't mind. If we need a loaf of artisan bread, I'd rather buy a loaf than spend the time I did making worthlessness out of good ingredients. Like I said, the birds didn't mind. They were very happy to see me pitching the chunks of brick-bread out to them - they shared, and pecked at each piece with such enthusiasm. At least I have that.

    The Cuisinart goes back on Monday. UPS is closed on Sundays, and this being Valentine's Day, I'm just too wrapped up in my comfy jammies to do anything really productive like taking a bread machine back to UPS to be shipped to Amazon - it can wait.  I guess the moral to this story, if there needs to be one, is that I should have (a) read the fine print and (b) not expected so much from a product that basically just does what it does and can't really improve just because my expectations were higher than they needed to be. 

    Still, it does make me wonder how people on YouTube get their bread to do more than mine did. I used the right ingredients, put them in the basket at the right temperature, in the right order, and I pushed the right buttons -- but, alas, it is not to be. Maybe someone else will read this blog and save themselves a weekend of frustration and $25 worth of ingredients to make bird food. (OK, I'll say this, the dogs liked it too.) 

Photo Credit: The Oklahoman. 

Nope! Take Two!

     I keep thinking today is Friday, but it's not. I have to work all day tomorrow before I'm off work for the weekend. I have great plans for the weekend, you know.  For one thing, I'm taking my Elite Gourmet bread maker back to Amazon and getting a full refund. It will go far towards the new Cuisinart bread maker. The difference is about $60—let me see: $130 minus $70 —yes, that's $60. I don't mind paying the extra; I really don't. I'll make it up in the bread because what I was spending on the concoction that came out of the Elite Gourmet could, yes, be classified as bread, but the birds are the greater benefactors. I say that, I'm also using a loaf to make bread pudding -- this weekend.

     So, what happened? What went wrong? Well, it's the old adage I guess; you get what you pay for. The Elite Gourmet is good for what some would say are "beginners," and I am certainly one of those when it comes to baking bread. I am so new, so green, so untested, but I know a bad loaf of bread when I see one, and now that I've made 3 or 4 of them, I know it's not just me. I made an amazing loaf the first time, but there were things that could have been better, so I set out to do that.

    The first 3 loaves were made with all-purpose flour, which is not recommended. When the first one came out good; or good enough, I thought, "This is easy."  It's not. It's simple, yes, but it's not easy. You put in the ingredients and hit the buttons, right? Easy! The fact is, you don't just push buttons. I know I pushed the right ones because I read the instructions twice. I did everything exactly the same way, but the dough didn't take, and well—there's not much I can control. The bread maker controls that, doesn't it?

    I do have to laugh and tell on myself now.  The 2nd loaf never got the chance to bake because somewhere between the kneading cycle and the fermenting, I realized I had put in 2.5 TABLESPOONS of dry yeast, when the recipe called for 2.5 TEASPOONS of dry yeast - yep, that was me. That was all me, and I laughed myself silly trying to clean up that mess. I started again, and did things correctly, but the bread was thick and gooey (hardish but gooey), and it didn't rise like it was supposed to. It was short, squatty, lighter than it was supposed to be, and all the birds thanked me- I could hear it in their chirps!

    Amazon it is! Laura dug the original box out of the bin, and I cleaned up the Elite Gourmet - repacked it, and it will be on its way to retirement, or wherever used appliances go, tomorrow after work.  I ordered the new machine. It'll be here around 10:00 a.m., and I'll bust it open at lunch time to make a loaf to see if it's going to be more promising. Now, before you go off saying I need bread flour -- I bought it. The last loaf I made was with fabulous bread flour, less water (1.5 cups instead of 1.75 cups), and I added olive oil as well as butter (1/2 and 1/2), so yeah, it was destined to be fantastic - until it wasn't.

    I knew I was only to use the Basic mode; it was white bread. I knew that was good. I used 1.5 pounds each time and set the color to medium, but the Elite Gourmet, though it took 3 full hours to run its course, doesn't allow you to add time when you can clearly see the bread needs at least 20 more minutes of baking. If there is a feature that allows it, I didn't see it, and I looked. Maybe it's there, I don't know, but I know the Cuisinart has one. I know it does, and it has a boatload more positive reviews to boot.

    The Cuisinart had 17K reviews at 4.8 stars, where the Elite Gourmet had about 8K reviews and 4.7 stars.  The Cuisinart is the brand a lot of YouTubers use, and they show you the results, which I am sure the Elite Gourmet people do as well, but let me just say, I knew when I bought it that the cheaper model would be less than what I wanted. I hate being right sometimes, but I was right this time. Of course, that doesn't mean the new machine will be much better—I am hoping it is, though—we'll just have to see.

    I'm not going to take the Cuisinart back. I will use it unless, of course, the bread is only good for feeding fowl, and then yeah, it too will be back in the warehouse; but I think I'll be OK. I went online and bought wheat flour, bread flour, flaxseed, chia seeds, and other ingredients to make the experience that much better —so it's bread pudding this weekend, but hopefully it's sweet breads (zucchini, banana, and lemon-chia seed next). Fun times! Bread times!

Photo Credit: WilliamSonoma.com (The Cuisinart) 

My First Loaf of Bread

      I can't actually post this post until the bread I'm making is out of the bread maker, sliced, and tasted. I'm literally waiting for it to bake, but while I do, I thought I would go over the thoughts I had when I opened the box to pull out the new machine and start using it. I think I chose the right machine. I could tell when I lifted the box it was in, that it was going to be just the right size. It weighs about 10 pounds and can make a good-sized 2-pound loaf.  That will feed my daughter and I about 3 sandwiches each.

    Since I wanted the bread maker to make different types of bread, I'm sort of laughing at myself for making the first loaf a very simple white loaf instead of something really cool and exotic. I am using all-purpose flour and monk fruit rather than sugar. I am using grapeseed oil and butter, so there's that. I'll let you know how it turns out, and if it doesn't -- well, there are plenty of birds outside that won't mind cleaning up my mess.

    The Elite Gourmet machine is about $70 on Amazon. If it had been at Walmart, they were selling them for $66, but it wasn't there, so there you go - same difference really. I also ordered a really cool bread recipe book, and it came at the same time. I glanced through it and will pick up everything I need to make zucchini bread, oatmeal bread, orange-cranberry-walnut bread, and cinnamon-raisin bread, too. I'm pretty excited about it, and if I get really good at it, I'll start giving some away to friends when they ask for loaves.

    I wasn't happy that I couldn't simply pull out the basket when the machine arrived. It was really difficult to get out of the machine. I watched a YouTube video, and it looked easy. What I laughed about, and had to show my daughter, is that the sweet man who made the video said to his audience, "If you have to get your husband to do it for you, you might ask him for his help, it's not that easy at first."  Once the machine has been used a few times, I think it eases up, but he cracked me up with that one. I let Laura know she was the closest thing I had to a husband -she was ready to help, but I managed to get it out without too many tries. (I did cuss once)

    I watched three separate videos about the mechanics of it all, and after the third one (all less than 5 minutes), I was ready to make my first loaf.  I'll share the very simple recipe I used and walk you through it. You don't want the yeast to touch the liquid; once it does, it begins to activate, so be sure it's the last thing you add before closing the lid.  BEFORE you mix your ingredients, put the stir-handle or paddle into the basket, and set the basket in place before pouring everything into it.

• 1-3/4 cups of warm water
• 2 tablespoons of oil (I used grapeseed)
• 2 tablespoons of butter - room temp
• 1.5 teaspoons of salt
• 2 tablespoons of sugar (I used monk fruit)
• 4 cups of flour (I used all-purpose)
• 2 teaspoons of dry active yeast (pellets)

That's it, and in that order. When you add the yeast, make a small dent or hole to pour it into so it doesn't touch the liquid.

     You make sure the basket is secure, and you close the lid. On top of the lid are all the buttons to make the thing work. You go in order there as well. Menu — find the number at the top of the machine that matches what you are making. I chose #1 because it is a basic loaf of bread. Then you choose the size, 2 pounds. Then you choose the color (I went with medium) and press Start. The machine literally programs itself. Mine went to 3:00 (3 hours), and when you hit start, the mixing stage begins.

    

    The slight roar lets you know that it's working. You hear it spin, knead, and move around. You can open the lid and watch. I did that for a minute to be sure I was doing it right. Then, you literally let it go - wait -- and it does it all. I mix the ingredients, push a few buttons, and bam....done. I'm hoping for a nice little loaf of bread in about 2.5 hours, and I'll let it cool, slice it, spread a little butter and honey on it, and post it. If it sucks, it sucks, but I think it will be fine.

    I just checked on it. I have 2:09 to go (hours and minutes), and the first cycle is over. It beeped quite a bit to say it was changing gears from kneading to rising or something -- it's spinning now. I took a little video and posted it on Facebook. My friends know I'm odd, so they're used to it-- but hey, it's exciting.  My little kitchen will be so much fun. I can make pizza dough, cakes, yogurt, jams -- I'm just going to go crazy, I can tell you that.  I'm so happy right now.

    

    OK, nothing left to do but wait and give you the full update once it's finished. 

THERE YOU GO - it's not bad. It's not GREAT, but it' snot bad. I hit 1.5 pounds instead of 2 so it's a little under cooked, but has the consistency of dinner rolls from a restaurant. I'll finish this one in a couple of days and do it again!

I LOVE IT. 

Photo Credit: Me!

Bread Machine. (I'm Doin' it)

      There really is no reason for me to do what I'm doing next. I wasn't watching a television show about it, and I didn't see any commercials either. I think maybe I may have had a dream that I owned a bread-making machine -that could be it. I think I bought it on Marketplace now that I sort of remember dreaming about it. I didn't have the dream too recently either, but hey, it is what it is - I bought a bread maker. 

    I ended up buying one on Amazon after scouring my local Walmart for the brand and model I'd found online. The El Reno Walmart didn't have the model; in fact, they didn't have a single bread machine in the store. I found that odd, but it was in fact a fact. I decided that Amazon had to have a good deal on one, so I started the search again when I got home.  I did, however, because I was in Walmart, buy all the ingredients I needed to bake bread myself.

    Amazon, if you didn't know, has a LOT of choices for buying a new bread machine. I decided to go with critic review rather than worry too much about price. Most of the machines were between $70 - $120, so not much difference there. Most of them were 500W, 550W, or 600W, and most of them did just about the same things. All of the bread makers were programmable. They made 1-, 1.5-, and 2-lb loaves. They also made jams, yogurts, and other things. I never knew these machines were so versatile. I think maybe, if I had known that, I would have bought one sooner than I did.

    I found a machine that was affordable; in fact, it was on the lower end of the price range. It had nearly 8000 reviews and a 4.7-star rating! That's good. I decided to buy it, and I did. It will come to my house tomorrow - that was another thing I wanted. I liked another model, but it was out of stock and wouldn't arrive until sometime in March (a month away).  I'll post the one I bought, and you can tell me what you think.

    Amazon also had a bread-making recipe book for bread makers, priced under $5, so it was purchased as well. I know the machine has a little flip book with a few good recipes too, but I wanted something with pictures, so I know if what I'm attempting to do will turn out anything like the ones that were pretty enough for the photos. There is something else, too -- Amazon and other places sell ready-mix bread machine mixes you can buy and literally add oil and water and be done with it. They range from $7-16 for ONE LOAF!  That's ridiculous!

    I did the math, and one loaf in the maker should cost me no more than $1, and that's if I use cranberries, orange juice, and cinnamon for the fancy loaves.  I am so excited to get started and see what sort of mess I can make in my kitchen. I have a lovely little bar-flat area to use, which just makes this house that much more enjoyable and loved. I have wanted to bake more, and this will help. I think my sister may have a bread maker - I think I remember that. I really don't know anyone else who has one.

    I'll keep you posted on the outcome of it all, and of course, if I really suck at it, I'll let you know that too. I'm not above telling the truth. It can't be worse than me trying to teach myself how to play guitar - nothing can be that bad. I love them, I really do -- and I think they love me too, but yeah, it's not going to happen. When I think about it, I should have just stopped with one and been done -- oh well, you live, you learn, and then, because you can -- you bake bread.

Photo Credit:  Amazon.com (The Elite Gourmet EBM8103B)

"Cumberland" (Now the End is Near)

      The book "Cumberland" is written, it's 85,400 words strong, and I think it will be between 350 and 360 pages.  I have to complete the Thank You page, the Dedication, the Disclaimer, and the Author Notes. I've just gone through it and worked out the paragraph spacing. It's funny, in some novels you don't see any spaces between paragraphs, and in some you do. I think I've done that too, in my own writing. I hate that I have. I may need to someday, not today, go through them all to make them more consistent with each other, but I really don't think I'll ever get around to doing that. If a publishing house ever wants to buy the rights from me and do that, I'll let them. Until then, no, it is what it is.

    So, "Cumberland" is done. Now I'll go through it ONE MORE time and check for errors before sending it up to be printed. Then, once it's printed, it comes back to me as a book, and I go through it again to find even more mistakes. I am a strong believer that you can't really find your own mistakes very easily - I have to have the book in my hands to see it as a book before I can find them all, and even then, I don't find each and every single mistake. It is, again, as it is. I'm not going to fret over it. Nothing in life is worth that much fretting.

    To say the book is good is a matter of opinion. I certainly like it. I'm still making small adjustments, and they should be done by the end of next Saturday. Sunday next, around Feb 15th or so, it should be ready to send up for publication. When it returns 10 days later, I'll go through it and send it back up with final revisions around the 1st of March. I'm on schedule!! That always makes me happy. I was sick a couple of times during this book's writing, so I didn't know if I would remain on my personally set timetable or what - but so far, so good.

    When the book goes up for print, I'll start writing the next book. It's going to be a full-fledged silly and nonsensical book - written nearly entirely by the AI I call TEAGUE.  I'll let loose with my instructions, of course, say what I think should happen, chapter by chapter, and then let the AI write it. If I like it, I'll keep it; if not, I'll scrap it and start over. It's an experiment, one I'm looking forward to partaking in, and one I hope will be fun and beneficial.

    "Cumberland", though a little dark at times, is a good book. Poor Nick Posh is in for some really rough waters - and then some. He's left home alone to mourn when his grandfather dies, and has to leave his family to take an assignment that should take one week but ends up taking over a month. His car is swept out from under him in a freak rainstorm, which floods the entire area. He nearly drowns, hurts himself, gets kidnapped, and is betrayed by the man who hired him! It's a mess to be sure -- and somewhere in the middle of it all, he has to actually do his detective work and find a dead body that's been hidden for over 10 years.

    You'd think he would just give it all up, but he can't! His wife just gave birth again - the family is growing, and he's got tuition to save for! How can he quit? He can't quit because his best friend just moved from Chicago to Oklahoma City to join him in his detective agency - one he didn't realize he had; he typically works alone. Well, it's all tipsy-turvy now! Some folks say that the mountains in Tennessee hold too many secrets, while others say they hold their own. Nick finds out the hard way - and he'll never forget it.

    I liked writing "Cumberland". It wasn't planned, but hey, some of the best things in life are unforeseen until they pop up and smack you right between the eyes - REALITY!! 

Photo Credit: Me (it's my own barn door) 

Cheeky! (The Book) A Highland Romance

     It's been on my mind, in the back of it somewhere, to write a really cheesy romance taking place in the Highlands of Scotland for the purposes of saying I wrote a Highland romance ("Of Kilted Pleasure"). I did write a Scottish romance with some Highland overtones, but it wasn't the same thing. It wasn't a loose-lipped, fancy-pants sort of roll in the hay sort of book. It wasn't worthless and without a plot. In fact, it had a rather intricate plot. The new book, "Cheeky!", will be the book I have set in my mind to write with absolute abandon.

    I say absolute...I will have to pull back a little. I won't let it get too raunchy. It may be ranchy!! I will have a plethora of Highland coo in the book! They will be there in all their rust and golden-haired glory. I can't write a Highland romance without them - or at least I shouldn't, and I won't.  Every Higland romance deserves to have big, fat, fluffy, horned beauty-beasts in it. It's going to be fun to write.

    I've decided to let the AI write the entire book, but at my instruction. I'm going to give it strict and precise details. In fact, my details will take about 15 regular pages to tell the thing what I want the book to be about. I'll ask it to include warm, cozy, sexy dialogue, and there will be a plot of some sort, albeit it won't be very strong. I have it in mind already, I won't give it away now, but it is funny, and it is flimsy, and it is fabulously worthless. I think it will be wonderful. I can't wait to read it.

    Actually, I'll have to do a lot more than just read it. I will have to put quotes around the things I don't like, remove what I don't like, add what I didn't include, and correct the spacing and some of the grammar. It isn't as hands-off as I may have made it seem. There are a lot of things the AI gets right, and a lot of things I have to edit or change completely. It's a fun process, and one I think I'll use from this point forward, because the AI uses my style of writing to write. It copies my style, writing patterns, sentax and use of language. It comes up with stuff I would have said, but it often says it in a more fluid way. If I had to say one thing about it that is different than me writing it all out, it would be that the machine can write it faster - and more fluid.

    Because I've put the romance book off for as long as I have, I have 1000 ideas that I think must go into the book. I'm adding my real-life supervisor to it; she's excited about it. I've asked her if she wants to be a good girl or a bad girl - she said somewhere in the middle. Won't that be fun?  I've decided to have her be guilty of writing checks she knew she couldn't cover, and she flees to Scotland until the heat dies down. She'll find herself mixed up in a somewhat shady business deal, and it leads to a rather profitable venture. 

    The premise of the book is simple: An American woman (not my supervisor, she's a lesser character) decides to go to Scotland to experience the whole big bearded men in kilts pumping bagpipes, throwing logs, and thumping their chest while dancing at the castle with her, and sweeping her off her feet for at least a couple of weeks. She realizes a bit too late, however, that the 14th and 15th century Scotland isn't the same as the modern one - but she won't be cheated just because 600 years of history has been erased and everyone she sees in the Highlands drinks from insulated cups, drives cars, and hasn't the slightest interest in fulfilling the lusts of an idiot American tourist.

    Bindy Vance, the lead character, is a woman of means. She does exactly what she wants, when she wants, because she wants, and if money is needed, she has it to spare. There will be shendig, there will be castles, there will be bagpipes, but most importantly, there will be half-naked, big, brawny, bearded men in kilts...everywhere! That's the plot -- in a nutshell --, and I think it's a good one. It may fall flat, but at least I'll still have fun writing it, reading it, working it, editing it, and sharing it. I never write to sell the books -- I write to write. 

Photo Credit: Me. I made the cover on Canva.

Looking Back (WAY Back)

      You know those YouTube Shorts where people who were once in a movie, a series, a band, or something show the younger version sitting with or walking alongside the older version? You know what I'm talking about. Well, today one of those caught my attention, and with good reason; it was all about the hit TV show The Partridge Family. Wow, talk about a flashback. I was five or six, I think, when it came out. I watched it; we all did.  Every boy in my life was either like Keith, Danny, or Chris. It was crazy!

    I think what happens in these shows, is that the producers say to themselves, in every large family (every family for that matter) there is a dynamic. The people will be themselves, they'll be similar but different, and we need to spice things up and throw in a red-headed monster that tosses the salad now and then. Keith was the sexy, bubbly, sensitive one, and I think they may have even tried to make him a little tough, but let's face it, David Cassidy couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. Danny had it in him, though. Chris? We'd never find out.

    One of the reasons we'll never find out about Chris is that after the first season, they canned him! That's right, they replaced their kid! They probably went out into the big bad world, and had 1000 boys audition to be the next Christopher Partridge, and they absolutely replaced the youngest son! That can't happen in real life - maybe it does, but we don't like to think of that happening, do we?

    I was today years old when I found out that Chris Partridge had been switched. Apparently, the first one, Jeremy Gelbwalks, wasn't happy as an actor, and he started little quibbles with everyone on the set, from the actors to the producers. His parents wanted him in show business; he wasn't into it. I've seen that a dozen or more times, but it generally works out to the point that they write the actor out. Maybe in 1967 or whatever it was, they didn't want to bump off their youngest son -- I don't know, but they took a dark-haired boy and replaced him with a blonde! (and apparently only the adults noticed)

    Chris was the drummer of the group, though I think they could have trained Tracy to do that if they had written the other kid off - maybe he got run over by the very colorful bus, maybe he ran away with the circus. I don't know, but they decided to keep his character - only they didn't give a damn about consistency, did they? I will say this: the new or second Christopher was a product of the arts. His step-grandfather played Alfred the Butler in Batman, and on his mother's side, he was distantly but directly related to the poet and author Charles Dickens! That's pretty cool

    I know I talked about giving Reuben back to the stork that delivered him. I've told all my children at one time or another that I could trade them in for a new kid; maybe sell them off and be done with kids altogether, but seriously, and you should know this, I never really did it. I only said I would. They did it. The Partridge Family people did it! Goodbye, Christopher, hello Christopher -- nothing to see here, folks. Move forward. I don't think it works that way, but in Jeremy Gelbwalk's case, it may have. He ended up moving around quite a bit after that. His parents didn't stay in one place too long. He ended up going to college and getting a degree in computer science back when it was very new - good on him!

    I can say this: I have never once wanted to act on stage or in film or on television. I'm not any good at it for one thing, but I also don't like the competitive nature of the actors, or the rudeness and attitudes. I worked with so many of them from 1980-1984 that I had my fill - believe me, I had more than enough exposure to what and who they were. I worked on The Outsiders and other films, but let's just stick with The Outsiders for a minute. Think of who is in that one. Think if the people who were absolutely no one, and who they think they are today.

    Matt Dillon was given top billing when the film came out. Can you imagine what Tom Cruise would have to say about that now? He's not even worth spitting at, let alone talking to. Emilio Estevez. Yes, he is a gentleman, and the genuine article, along with Patrick Swayze and Ralph Macchio. I can't say I enjoyed being around Dillon, but he wasn't too obnoxious. Diane Lane thought she was famous when she wasn't, and I laughed. Leif Garrett was probably one of the more famous people in the film, but he didn't flaunt it. He didn't come out of his trailer and strut. (There weren't many private trailers then, though...)TBH)

    Nope, I had no idea that the replaced Christopher Partridge. It just goes to show you, kids, just pay attention to what's happening, not necessarily who's doing it. Can you imagine, though, if they decided to replace Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, or wait...Bewitched replaced Darren! They could have had the old one die and created more episodes about grief and a new relationship—I did notice Darren. Now, I'm over here thinking who else I did or didn't notice. That's a whole Google search, right there, now, isn't it? Well, I guess I know what I'm going to be doing all morning!

Photo Credit: New York Post -- with Gelbwaks as Christopher Partridge.

    

My DNA Results

     It's funny when you think you're one thing and then you end up being another. Did I tell you that my daughter Laura (and I suppose Caity as well) was told she was at least a quarter Choctaw Native American, because her father's side of the family told her so? They told her so over and over. They stated that their mother really never talked about it, but when she did, she stated she was nearly half Native, which would make her son, the girls' father, about a quarter, unless his father was also Native (which he isn't), and that would leave my girls being around one eighth Native -- which they are not. (but still, my girls couldn't have been a quarter Native either way!) 

    Turns out, after doing the whole MyHeritage DNA testing, that my daughter Laura is far more British than I am! Go figure. She could be the Queen someday! She is 42% English, 34% Scottish/Welsh, and 5% Irish. (The rest of her is a mix of Dutch, German, Danish, Breton, and that all very important 1% French! I will never let her live that one down. She didn't get it from me.)   Well, she and I both were a little shocked at that, but we must survive, so survive we will.

    MyHeritage is a good company. Its results are clear and as accurate as any of these tests can be. It does make me want to try another test from another company to see just how close they are. That would be interesting. My results from 2016, then 2021, and now 2025 haven't really changed. By "changed," I meant to refine the results: in 2016, they were rather generic, and in 2021, they were a little more defined; a few percentage points shifted from the majority result to a secondary one. This time, nothing changed for the majority, but the third through fourth saw a bit of change.

    The numbers change because more of your related people have taken the test, and their unique markers affect yours as the technology evolves, making the whole thing a bit clearer. It will likely never be completely accurate, but I really wanted to know how much of my "blood" was Anglian rather than Viking. We all know that the Vikings came down from the North in the late 8th century; why go back that far to tell me what my heritage is? Why not start around 1300-1400, after the invasions? It just makes sense to do so.

    My 2016 results showed I was 38% Scandinavian, 22% English, and 22% Scottish, Welsh, and Irish. I had a bit of Iberian and Italian blood running through my veins, but I was more English than Scottish, and that bothered me. It bothered me because I knew that when "my people" came down from the North, they went primarily to the Isles we now call Ireland and Scotland, not to the east, where they ended up in England, Germany, and France.  I don't feel Norwegian. I don't feel Swedish. I don't feel like a Dane. I know I'm a Celt.

    I haven't received the 2025 results. I thought I had. They're going over them again after I asked them to try again, this time without using the same old 2021 test. They literally sent me the same result with the 2021 Order #, and I requested that if they're going to do that, they can refund my money; at least give me the Order # I paid for in 2025. If I paid for another test kit, which I did, send me THAT one with the matching Order # so I can see that in 4 years, no differences were found.

    I got a call yesterday from MyHeritage because they had "inadvertently" charged me $149 for a yearly subscription that I had NOT authorized. They called me to apologize and to say they were refunding the money. I asked the man if they could send my 2025 results, and he said he would ask them to do so, but that he could look on his end to see if there were any changes, and there were two. I am now more Iberian and more Italian than I was before. I am less Scandinavian. Nothing changed on the British front, so I guess a few more of my Viking ancestors continued their southern expedition and ended up in Spain, Portugul and Italy. There you go. More spaghetti for me!

    I am now 12% Iberian and 5% Italian. My dad did have darker features. Mom was born with auburn dark thick hair and green eyes - she had more of the traditional Irish traits, I suppose, but her name, her parents, and her grandparents surnames were unmistakably English; Edwards, Free, Hague, and I can't remember the others, but all of them were Angelian. Dad's, of course, was Scottish and English, but in the midst of it all, a few of those Stringfellows went off and married darker women from more exotic parts of the world. I ask myself why I didn't inherit a spec of that beauty...But I digress.

    I didn't expect my DNA to change dramatically, nothing like that, but I was told in 2016 that in a few years' time, they would have better technology, and I should keep doing the tests to see the changes. As long as the kits were under $25, I didn't mind. I think I paid $27 this time, so there you go, the Scottish is showing, but that Italian in me sprang for the last $2 to make it happen.  I don't mind being Scandinavian, it's just that if you think about it, we're all related to Noah, so why not go back another few thousand years and just be done with it?  I think they should go back to 1400, not 800 A.D. Maybe in time, they'll be able to accommodate my whining.  We'll see.

Photo Credit: BBC