New Plot Twist for the Murder Book (fiction)

 You know how you're just looking through old connections, wondering how they have been after several months or even years? You start to think things like "Did I know they were that handsome?" or maybe "Were they always gay, or did I just never see it?"  Truth is often stranger than fiction, but I think I'll let truth have this one. I'll add the truth to the book so that in so doing the world at large can do their own due diligence as I have; they can find out the dark and torrid secrets that hang just behind the grey eyes of the fallen master who once held one of the highest of positions in his church.

    Mind you, the master, as I may call him, didn't start out at the top! No, his was a sorted story to be sure. There were years of self-abuse, family corruption, pain, and suffering from his inability to face who he was and what he wanted to be. Rather than standing firmly in a decision, he chose to hide and to drag countless others into the charade! It's no wonder he ended up taking a head-long plunge over the cliffs of Arthur's Seat at the hands of his homely "Plain Jane" wife, who while she knew he was gay, had also kept his secrets and the truth now shown so dingy and tacky upon her reputation as well.  Better a dead husband who no one knows has lied than to let him tell all and jam her gears as well.  The year was 1931 after all and homosexuality was still both an offense against the Crown, but also quite disgusting in the eyes of most civil-minded in Edinburgh!

    Was it just that he was gay? Could that be enough of a reason for the petty-minded soon-to-be-widowed wife to shove her glorified babysitter over the edge? She never really loved him, but he was useful in some ways. When she found him wallowing in the streets from drunkenness and from long-standing opium addiction, he was at least grateful to be inside, being fed was nice, even if it did mean he had to sleep beside her and pretend he was attracted. Her young son was fun enough and who knows, over time perhaps he could be "useful" as well. Could she have even imagined the influence her new husband would have on her boy? Was it safe to leave them alone? Was it true what the boy tried to explain a few times? Were they just "games" between "father" and son? I'd have cut him hard before the push! I might have even called the cops myself to admit I did it; I rid the world of yet another grotesque child molester! She couldn't face herself. She simply walked away.  No one even noticed. 

    Just before the end, just before her hands last felt the hardness of his flesh as she heaved with all she had, she remembered a letter her husband had written to her son as he was graduating from prep school. It said something about how brave the boy was; how he was in fact the "bravest man I know", and the thing is, he was hardly a man! The fact that her son had decided to live the life of a decadent was not necessarily appalling to the woman, but she couldn't convince him that good Christians would wrestle constantly with the Spirit inside of them if they were Christians at all. The boy wasn't wrestling with anyone. Was her husband? It didn't seem like he was to her -- it seemed as if he had set the stage for the boy.

    There wasn't even so much as a thud. She waited long enough by the side of the crag, to be sure he wouldn't be able to get a grasp and hold onto something or somehow manage to stand or climb back to the top. There wasn't much of a chance of his surviving the fall. She had truly meant to kill him.  In the shadow of the twilight skies, however, she hadn't noticed that he had sat his guitar down; he had laid it against the side of a tree. Though his crumpled body may soon be found, bloodied and broken, at least the innocent one would be spared. The music would live on. The notes would be played by someone, someone else whose fingers were not as deceptive as his when the old hymns were strummed across six inviting strings. 

    He ruined everything, she thought. He didn't deserve to share in this life now. Hadn't she saved him from the streets? Hadn't she given him a roof over his head, food, love, not to mention a child of his own? Would their daughter now wonder if her father was even telling the truth when he'd hold her and tell her he loved her? Was this new life he was choosing more important to her? She was only a child, but she would have questions. She would grow up believing Daddy jumped. Why should the little girl lose two parents over the choices of one? 

DISCLAIMER:  No, this wasn't about you, Tex!  It's fiction.

Photo Credit: Stargatecinema.com

Touring with Joakim - Part 2 (Norman!!)

 Laura was pretty busy today with personal commitments so I took Joakim to the best place in Oklahoma to see Sooner things; I took him to Norman, OK.  There, we visited the National Weather Center where NOAA, the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration is, and Norman just happens to be the home of the great University of Oklahoma!  He loved it all.  First, when we went to the National Weather Center, with it being a Sunday, we didn't know if it would even be open to him to be able to see what it looks like inside. The thing is, he's with me.  When you're with me, sometimes you just walk through open doors. I used to crawl through windows, but I don't do that anymore.  Doors need to at least be cracked open a bit now, and it was. We went inside.  I told him we'd stay until we were asked to leave. He agreed. We stayed about five minutes!  The guard was really nice.

    He took photos of the inside of it, and I took photos of him being inside of it so he could brag about it when he gets back home and all of his weather buddies will see that he really did go to Norman, OK and he really did go inside the National Weather Center and see NOAA!  We have to brag sometimes about something, so why not that? It was actually my first time going inside the building as well.  It has a few really cool-looking gizmos, let me tell you!

    After NOAA we hit up the campus of the University of Oklahoma.  You can't visit Norman, OK, and not go to the stadium! C'mon now. We're civilized folk, you know. We have six (6) Heisman trophy winners from our university, and they are all captured in bronze outside the Memorial Stadium that houses about 80,000 of your closest friends on any given Saturday in Autumn.  We walked around a bit, but with 102-degree weather, it was too hot to really do more than just a brief glance around the place.  Next, we headed up to Denny's restaurant so we could have a great lunch. He had the steak, I had pancakes!!  You can do breakfast all day at Denny's and the portions are wonderful. 

    After lunch, I informed Joakim that he would be face-to-face with the best-looking man ever to walk the face of the Earth, and I hoped he was OK with it.  He laughed, but then later admitted that my son was in fact an amazingly handsome man. No one has said otherwise!  He enjoyed meeting Reuben and his wife Josie. He was able to see how Josie decorated the house in true Americana style. He loved it. We headed off to the mall, but not before we visited a western store called Atwood's. I tell people Atwood's is half livestock and half human. You can get your feed, tack, and medicines there for animals, but you can buy boots, hats, guns, and ammo as well.  He hadn't really handled a gun before today, not really, and he was able to do that. He didn't get to shoot it though. We may have to go to the gun range someday. It may be a few visits down the road.

    After Atwoods we walked the mall in Norman to not only show him the smaller pleasures of middle-class living but also to get my steps in! I can't really walk at night right now due to the heat, so we put in about 5000 steps or so there. That was really great.  He had never seen rolling animal carts that people here rent to trolly around the mall when their kids are really tired or just want to have fun. The little slow-moving trolly-type carts are dressed up as bears, lions, elephants, and such, and they are just really fun for kids to ride and wave at people. We always try to make it as fun as we can for the kids when we see them.

    Home it was!! Eventually, all things come to an end, but we did stop by Sonic for a cold one before taking him back to the hotel.  You're not going to do yourself a favor if you visit Oklahoma and don't visit Sonic at least a couple of times. I bought him a slushie and we headed back! He can't say he didn't have a very fun day. I may not be the most entertaining tour guide, but I did make him laugh, told him lots of stories, and let him know about Jesus.  You can't come to Oklahoma and visit me without hearing about Jesus, it's a thang - - my thang!  Gonna happen.

    Overall, I think it's fun having guests for a few days. It would be exhausting if I had to do it for a living, but I bet I'd be really good at it if I did get paid to do it. I could maybe even manage a costume or two. LOL...just kidding. It is FAR too hot to even think about it - - nope, just going with the shorts and t-shirts. I think the most important takeaway from today's visit(s) is that he has photos of himself at OU's Memorial Stadium and with the bronze statues of our 6 Heisman trophy winners. He's been to the NOAA, the Lloyd Noble Center, and he met the most handsome man to ever walk the face of the Earth! Not everyone can say that - - he can.

Good day!!  Good company!!

Joakim with Baker Mayfield!!

Photo Credit: Me

Touring With Joakim!

 If you ever come to visit (first, I have to know you) you'll be subjected to doing what real Oklahomans do, not necessarily what the world thinks we do.  I mean sure, there will be horses involved; that's a given.  We took Joakim (I call him Dwight because "Jo-a-kim", when you say it out loud sounds like "Yoakum") around the city again today. He's here from Sweden to visit Laura and since she's not the happiest of campers when it comes to driving, I drive.  He's not a driver at all, so there's going to have to be a day when I take him to the parking lots and let him try. That's something he can't do in Sweden!

    Today, we went to Alligator Alley, a famously wonderful little shop that houses a few interesting reptiles including actual alligators. You can get right up next to them (they are in sealed tanks) and you can see for yourself why it is that you don't want an alligator as a pet.  The store is a go-to when you want a lizard, snake, tortoise, or even a ferret. I told you, I think I told you, yesterday, that we took Joakim to the pet store. We do that. We go to pet stores a lot!  Laura has her lizards and we are constantly in and out of these stores buying crickets.  While we are there we may or may not happen to pick up a Ball Python or two. I do anyway.  Today it was the Uromastx!  Laura bought it. OF COURSE, SHE DID!!  I was teasing Joakim and telling him that his main job today would be to stop Laura from purchasing another lizard. He failed. I mean, he did try, I have to give him that much credit.

    After Alligator Alley we hit up another Oklahoma store, Hobby Lobby! If you have not been to one, you need to set aside time and money. Both time and money will be spent when you go to a Hobby Lobby store. If you're into making things, or just having really cool home decor, you'll find Hobby Lobby is chock full of ideas to both imaginatively create, and/or just to buy already made.  They always have candles and things on sale, so you can't walk out empty-handled. Today, July 16, they were busy loading up the west side of the store, which is their seasonal side, with all the pumpkins and pumpkinny things out there! It is FALL/AUTUMN in Hobby Lobby, but you have to get it quickly, as Christmas will be there in September!

    After Hobby Lobby we tackled EARL'S BBQ!!  As mentioned in a few blogs, when you come to or through Oklahoma City, you must, must, must, stop at Earl's on Reno and Meridian. You have to say hello to the manager and operator J.T. Simmons, and get the state's best-smoked ribs and/or pulled pork or brisket sandwiches. His menu is basically the same as any BBQ joint, but there is no beating his slaw! Joakim tried the Earl's Binge, which gave him a sampling of all the meats including brisket, ribs, pork, and smoked bologna. It came with a few sides. He'll be stuffed for a minute. You have to do okra if you come to our state. It's the law.

    We'll let the man rest for a while, get him over his food coma before we take him to the Arabian Horse Show down at the Fairgrounds. That may be something he and Laura can do without me. I am not a foo-foo horse person. I prefer dirt and western rodeo-type shows. The Arabian Horse Show is rather formal. The audience doesn't have to dress up of course, but the animals and their people are gussied up pretty well.  They'll enjoy the beauty and the elegance of each horse. Laura will likely walk him back through the stall areas so he can see what really takes place. We are nothing if not thorough with our guests!

    One thing Dwight saw today that they don't have in his country is panhandlers. We forget about the details here. I wouldn't have thought to ask if he had them. He was wondering why they were walking in and out of traffic and begging for money. I wish I could tell him we didn't have this problem, but we have this problem. Most are respectful of the motorists.  I do think that in this heat, they need to wear ball caps or hats and have water to hydrate. I may go back and take them some! We just never know what another person will see that we take either for granted, or we're a bit jaded and just don't want to see it anymore. (Guilty)

Photo Credit: Me

Moon Pies, Mexican Food, and Swedes

 Laura has a new boyfriend, sort of. She's been online dating him since about February, and this is now mid-July, so they're officially a couple I suppose. He's from Sweden, and I call him "Dwight" because his first name sounds like "Yoakum" when you say it out loud.  He's the best, really, and I don't mind bragging a bit about him. To be honest, he's young and handsome, two great traits a woman like Laura should consider in a man. He's also bright, intelligent, hard-working, and really funny. He doesn't always know he's being funny, which only endears him to us even more. We are very happy he's here for a visit.

    Since Dwight is going to be with us for a little over a week, we have decided to take him to all the places he would be subjected to going should he decide to make Oklahoma his permanent residence.  We think he will, eventually, decide to move to Oklahoma, as he is a Ph.D. student at the University of Stockholm, where he is studying to be a meteorologist.  You'd be hard-pressed to find a better place to practice that particular line of work than on the plains of the Sooner State.  I laugh when I say "Sooner State" because where that is what we call Oklahoma, my daughter attended the OTHER university in Oklahoma, and she was MOST upset with me when I began training (teaching) Dwight the fight song for the University of Oklahoma. Anyone can sing it really, it goes like this: "Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner!" and then you repeat that a few more times and yell really loudly at the end! It is one of the most recognized fight songs in the world! 

    We took Dwight straight from the airport to Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store because...well, because Braum's.  Braum's is an Oklahoma-based restaurant and store with fast food such as burgers, fries, chicken strips, and salads, and it has a grocery store attached with more than 31 flavors of ice cream, it's closer to 80 flavors if I had to guess.  We bought a new flavor none of us had tried, it's Neopolitan Cookie Dough. It's awesome.  We also bought burgers, fries, and the obligatory soft drink, soda, or pop, whatever you want to call it. In Oklahoma, they are all called Coke, even if it is Sprite or Dr. Pepper. It is what it is, you don't need to worry about it.  I drink unsweetened tea anyway, which is so far from being Southern that it's sad.

    Today, we woke the man up pretty early so we could take him to a few more places and do a few more Oklahoma and/or American things. He was bowled over by the heat, which is 101 today.  He was really impressed with how many pickup trucks are on the road, and he thought the fact that nearly every business flew the American flag was something to be seen for sure. He wondered if there was a special reason for it - - to which I answered, "Yes, there is a special reason for it. We're American".  He understood.  Laura smiled and said she really hadn't noticed, but she would have noticed if they weren't out and flying! She's not wrong.

    We went to Winco, a grocery store, and we bought a few things he needed to try. One of those things is a Moon Pie! You can't come to America's South and not have a Moon Pie. I think it may very well be illegal, and your hosts could be imprisoned for a while if you don't at least try one.  He liked it.  He had seen bulk groceries before, but nothing like they have at Winco.  Winco is famous for having aisle after aisle of so many bulk foods. The three he was most impressed with were the chicken gravy powder, the blueberry muffin powder in bulk, and granulated sugar.  I don't usually use real sugar, but since he's here we'll do that. I don't want to force my Stevia on him.  He tried Kool-aid for the first time too.  Loved it.

    One of the most important firsts for Dwight was his very first PBJ sandwich! In Sweden (and most of Europe) they eat peanut butter with bread of course, but they don't add jelly or jam to it.  Today, he has conquered the PBJ, and again, he's a big fan!  He will never again be able to eat just a lonely peanut butter sandwich without adding the jam to it. He may be exactly what Sweden needs to bring that sandwich to the forefront! Let's make this happen people!!  

    He came back to the apartment with us and we ordered Mexican food from an amazing local restaurant called Ted's.  You can search the state over and even dip into Texas and you won't find better authentic Mexican food. You can get it hot, but we don't like it that way, so we didn't force that on him. We did buy him some Tums just to be safe.  Again, they have antiacid in Sweden, but not Tums! He is just learning so much.  Over the course of the week, I'm sure Laura has a lot of plans for him. She should take him to the lake, to the ballpark, downtown to walk the river walk, and she should take him to a few museums since it's so freaking hot she can't really stay outside very long with him. Both of them are as pale as ghosts! (Laura is a ginger)

    Pretty sure he's going to go back to Sweden with 1000 stories to tell his friends and family, and I'm pretty sure he'll have to explain to them why it is that I call him Dwight.  If nothing else, I'll end up buying him a hat to dip down over his face and teach him to "day-nce" a little -- just a little, we don't need the man buying cowboy boots, chewing straw, and threatening to buy a gelding in the next week. He'll have plenty of time to do that when he comes back to stay a minute.  I teased him when we were in the pet store.  He said he doesn't normally go to the pet store and I laughed because we go 3x a week for something. If you're going to be with Laura you're going to have cat hair, dog hair, ferret hair, horse hair, and lizard poop on you most of the time. It's just a given.  Welcome to Oklahoma Dwight! We already love you buddy!!

    

Photo Credit: Me

The Blue Tongued Skink

 If you saw or read my last post you likely saw the photo I posted with a gorgeous Blue Tongued Skink!  I have owned them in the past, but it has been a minute. I will buy one again soon!  One does not just pick oneself up and drive to the pet store to pick up a Blue Tongued Skink, mind you. Where these lizards are not rare, they are certainly not common either. They are available, but they do come with a hefty price. The average BTS is demanding around $350 at the moment. The lizard is one cost, and the enclosure is quite another.  

    The BTS is such a simple lizard pet. It really isn't hard to keep at all. One of the best things about them of course is their brilliantly colored tongue, but they are also just too sweet for words. They actually like to coil and cuddle with you. They even recognize faces and voices. I love these guys.  I think my last one was about four years old and I had her when Caity was in kindergarten - - Caity turns 32 in about 2 weeks, so yeah, there's that. It's been a minute....or more.

    The enclosures for a BTS need to be at least 36-40 inches long and another 18 inches wide. They don't climb a lot, so the enclosure doesn't have to be tall. The average terrarium is about 15 to 18 inches tall, and that's high enough. The ground is the most important part of the enclosure. It needs to be big enough so they can move around and for me, I think I'll end up with a very big tank, if not an actual enclosure made specifically for the animal (once I move).  The enclosure (cage) will be either an 80 or 100-gallon tank, not something small, I want to spoil the Dickens out of my new boy/girl.  

    The BTS isn't necessarily a fussy eater either, and this is what makes keeping them so easy. If you are lucky enough to find one that is older, say over 9 months to 12 months, you can start with the salads, greens, a few fruits, and only a few proteins such as crickets, raw chicken, mealworms, etc.  The raw chicken (for me) is the way to go because I can simply cut off a slice when I'm about to cook my own! I love that. I can mix up a good green salad (sans spinach) and throw in a strawberry slice or two. Let me tell you, a lizard will do backflips for fruit!! I may need to video that so I can prove it!

    The general stats on a BTS are this:  They can live to be 18-20 years old. They can grow anywhere from 10 inches to 28 inches, depending on the species. They come in all colors really, but the basic colors are black on white, grey on black, brown on white, and grey on white.  They are found in Indonesia, Tunisia, Australia, New Guinea, and the surrounding areas. They are not poisonous, they are not biters, though any animal can snap. They are friendly, take their time, are quiet, and they are reserved. They basically hang out and look really pleasant.  My girl was 23 inches long and weighed just over 5 pounds I think. She was about four when I had to find her a new home; that was a sad day!

    I'll have to come up with a really good Celtic name for my new one. I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, so I will come up with two names. I'm thinking of calling it Inverness if it's a girl and Culloden if it's a boy.  The Blue Tongued Skink is NOT from Scotland, mind you, but I like my Celtic names!  My last BTS was a girl and her name was Mary Scot for Mary Queen of Scotland.  It's just something I do. I had a horse named Eoghan and one named Niall.   If you've never been introduced to a Blue Tongued Skink before, or if you've never seen one in person, I would encourage you to find a place where they may have one. There are some really cool things to be learned from loving a reptile - - they aren't all fluffy and spunky like dogs, but they are capable of being social and even prefer human contact! Most reptiles are loners and can't be with other reptiles; the BTS is no different. Having a friendly face to spy on from their enclosures makes them happy.

    I'll have an outdoor enclosure built on wheels and keep it in the garage or in a storage shed.  It will be about four feet by two feet and another 15-18 inches high. It will be so the animal can go out and enjoy the sunlight. I will spoil my BTS! It will happen!! I can't wait to bring her or him home, but I have a few things to iron out in the house first, such as where I'm going to put the tank!!  These things take time if you want to do them correctly.  

Photo Credit: Pinterest

I Won't Be Moving To Scotland Afterall

 After another round of Mental Mathematics in my head, I have come to the conclusion that living in the Great State of Oklahoma is probably where I'll be until Jesus comes back for me. Now, after the Tribulation, when we all come back with Christ, I may decide to settle near Edinburgh if it is still standing. I can't imagine Arthur's Seat going anywhere, but you never know, it could blow and there goes the neighborhood!  After putting the pencil to it, and doing the whole Ben Franklin Pro/Con type lists, I just can't justify leaving Oklahoma on a permanent basis for Edinburgh Scotland, or anywhere else for that matter. Boomer Sooner.

    I have gone over this a thousand times in my head and I have to be honest, I like driving my car to the nearest Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store. I like being able to drop what I'm doing and drive the said car to the Big Lot store to pick up Dr. Teal's bath supplies, or to Winco to pick up chocolate turtles in bulk.  Can you believe they're only $4.98 a pound? Seriously, you can't expect this sort of thing anywhere else.  Also, and this may or may not have much to do with anything, but so much to do with mental health, Oklahoma has (on average) more than 40 more days of sunshine than what the folks in Edinburgh receive. That's more than a month! There are another (over) 40 days that have more sunshine through partly cloudy days - - so another month or so with partly sunny days when the skies of Edinburgh seem to be overcast with grey clouds.  It really is a big deal.

    Although I HATE the heat in Oklahoma, and will likely visit my beloved Scotland during the summers, Oklahoma has warmth from April to November and we have more outdoor activities because of it. I tend to walk more than 7 miles a day in the summertime and the only way I could do that in Scotland is to go to the mall or something. I would have to be near one in order to do that, and I can't guarantee I would be able to find a place. Just finding a place is harder too. You have to pay way over the asking price to outbid someone else, and if the landlords don't want to remove their furnishings for whatever reason, you have less of a chance of being chosen to rent their lettings. It's just so different. Here, if the place is open there is a fee to pay down, and you fill out the application, you're approved, and you move in the same day you're approved.  You could wait weeks to move into an apartment in Scotland simply because landlords want the most money possible and tenants are in bidding wars; giving the landlords all they want in order to be picked! 

    Without trying to complain too much, and in doing so, I'll even place the blame squarely on myself, I will not live in a place that doesn't have a bathtub. I won't live in a place that has tiny refrigerators, no dishwashers, no dryers, and/or where people don't understand the marriage between peanut butter and jam! Seriously, did you know that the average Scot does not (on any regular basis if ever) eat PBJ sandwiches? You mention that you do, and you're stared at. This is a minute and tiny reason not to go there on a permanent basis, but it is something to think about. (Not really, but we all deserve a bit of levity)

    No, I think what it is (is) that I am really quite spoiled, and I'm so used to doing (going) what I want to do when I want to do it. If in Scotland I won't be driving and I would have to rely on public transport. For example, here I have lizards and need to run up to PetSmart to get a bunch of crickets.  I get up, go to the car, crank it over, drive to the store about 1.5 miles away and I buy the crickets. I drive back home, it takes a total of 15 minutes if I just do that.  Of course, I rarely ever just do that, I always buy a tea somewhere, or pop into another store to pick up something I may think I may need.  

    Let's pretend I just pop into PetSmart for the crickets to feed the lizards. Fifteen minutes tops is the amount of time it would take. If I were to do that same thing in Edinburgh I would have to go to the bus stop (maybe 2 blocks away) wait on the bus (they aren't usually on time) ride the bus to the store which may or may not be on the route, get out and walk to the store from the nearest stop, get the crickets, leave the store, walk to the bus stop, wait on the bus, ride the bus home, walk two blocks home - - seriously, the day is wasted! (OK, I'm exaggerating) It could take well over an hour if the store was close! What if it were further away? 

    By the time I got to my apartment, the crickets could be dead if I didn't take their carrier with me; in Oklahoma, I can drive home with them in their little plastic bag because it's only going to be 5 minutes from the store to my house. I have used the same type of scenario with me wanting ice cream, me wanting a burger, me wanting to do anything really - - I do things on the fly here - - I don't know that I could stop doing that. I don't know that I would ever want to stop doing that.  I could get a car there, but they drive on the other side, gas is higher, insurance is higher, and I'm not going to trust myself to parallel park -- it's never going to happen! I suck at it.

    There are other reasons that involve more Math.  My cost of living is lower here. The size of my house/apt for what I pay is an enormous difference and not something to be overlooked. My 1200 sf 2 bed 2 bath apartment with 2 walk-in closets is $680.00 a month, the same size unit in Edinburgh would likely not have closets, possibly not have a tub, but just a shower and a random toilet in the hall, and it could possibly be on the 4th floor without a lift to get the price down, but the price would still be twice that of what I am paying now! No thank you.  This news should make one particular Scot smile -- smile on, Tex...smile on.

    Don't get me wrong; I love love love Edinburgh. I just don't know that I could trade Oklahoma City for it on a permanent basis. Our laws are so vastly different, our expectations, our politics, our world views, and the fact that I really won't compromise my opinion, or refrain from giving my opinion if challenged.  I think it's a good thing that I just want to visit a few times, maybe even for a month each year until Jesus comes back, and then maybe, like I said, after the Tribulation, if it's still standing and I can manage the correct VISA (that's a joke) I will do it. I may even ask Jesus if I can run a doggy daycare or something relaxing - - then again, I could see myself teaching Ethics at the University of Edinburgh too.  Just sayin'.

    So, that's it then. My plan to move has been squashed and replaced with my new plan to stay put, teach, invest, buy and sell on Forex, probably buy a house, and write that murder book - - you know, the one where I throw the handsome Scotsman off the side of Arthur's Seat but I spare his guitar.  I don't do it, I'm the author, but I do know who will do it - - trust me, the boo bear could use a bit of tumble down the hillside. I just haven't decided if he actually dies or if he's found three days later by a wandering Jack Russell terrier.  So many decisions to make about this book!  OK, yep, I gotta go. I have to feed the lizards!  Num num!

Photo Credit: wallpapersdsc.net  (Blue Tongued Skink)

Words Can Hurt

 A couple of days ago I wrote a blog about having or carrying extra baggage around with you. We all do it, but for some, it seems the mere mention of it can trigger anger and upset feelings. I could say, "Buck up" or "Get over yourself", but the truth is, that there are some who are so internal with their emotions that even reminding them of their flaws seems to create a real tidal wave of frustration within them. For that, I am sorry.  What I mean when I say I'm sorry, is that I'm sorry my friend felt the way he felt after reading my words. I wasn't talking about him, per se, although for some people you can mention the slightest similarity and they are so sensitive they simply KNOW you are talking about them! This was not the case, but it did lead me to write this blog, after taking down the other one.

    I am an American, but when I get online and voice my opinion in a group that is primarily (and created for) Americans who have Scottish ancestry, I am immediately met with vicious (and I mean vicious) comments from native Scots who feel that anyone who was not born in their country can't possibly have an opinion about their country. This is so funny, as they have no problems spewing their opinions about what they think of us!  Bit of a double standard that I think I've had to accept as being normal. Their words hurt me, but I'm again, not allowed to say it without being called out as a liar or being too soft.  

    Perhaps we could all do well by just sort of prefacing our words. Perhaps I could have said, "This blog deals with unsettled feelings and things we carry around with us needlessly as humans".  This would allow someone who is overly sensitive the opportunity to bail before reading more and becoming upset.  I think the blog was meant to showcase the fact that there are OTHER people who have baggage, but that they are willing to sit with you, hold your hand, be there to listen, and just try and be comforting.  It didn't come off that way to ONE person, so since I was made aware of it, I did take that blog down. I won't be doing that in the future.  It doesn't make sense to censor your work.  It makes sense to buffer it maybe, but people do need to know there are others who will help in a crisis. (and face it, sometimes there are times when some people just need to buck up and get over themselves, as well.)

    Another thing I noticed about the blog I took down, was that while I was general in my description of my friend who lives in Texas, another friend who lives in Scotland was upset about the fact that he thought I was talking about him because the two men had similar backgrounds.  Seriously? Do you know how many singers and songwriters there are in Texas and also in Scotland? I can't go look at a house or flat for sale on RightMove without seeing a guitar or piano in the rooms! Texas, Tennessee, Oklahoma, and California produce more singers and songwriters than any other part of the world! What if I said my friend was six feet tall, had brown eyes, and a beard! He does!  He also has tattoos, he drives a Ford pickup, owns about three guns, and he has a big pit bull!  I'm just saying there's no way someone in another country should EVER accuse me of calling him out for his baggage simply because I wrote about my friend who gave me permission to talk about him without giving his name. He recognized that there will be those who relate to him and could use the help I was suggesting!

    I think my point has been made. We all have things we don't like about ourselves, and things from our past (and in the present) that we can't really deal with, but we are saddled with them. I can't change the fact that I'm divorced, but it's been 25 years.  I've never been to rehab, but I've broken down a few times and really had a time of it getting back on track. I had kids to raise, a job to keep, and an education to maintain. I sucked it up, and no it was not fun, but those kids depended on me being the strong one. Jesus had to be the strong One as I couldn't do it alone. That was my point in the blog -- it was not meant to send someone to the Moon with anger or emotions. EVERY LAST ONE OF US is carrying something. I just choose to give it up so I'm not burdened with it. The fact that I've NEVER cared what others think of me may be a good thing - - I just don't have to worry about my reputation! 

    Reputation is something you have because of what others think of you. Your character is so much more important and if we're all honest, a character flaw is worse than a rumor about you. We need to work on our characters and give up the hope of being Mr. or Ms. Popular! Who gives a damn about being liked to the point of being the social center of attention? Not me. If I make Jesus happy I'm good. He's the one that died for me so I can enter into Heaven, not these other people who couldn't hold a flame to what Christ has done for us. Anyway, I didn't mean to upset anyone, and though it is never my intention, it is still a fact that words can and do hurt, but we can't censor them or not use them. We can choose them. We can apply them, but we can't stop using them.  I won't offer an apology, but I will say that I hope I can be more thoughtful in the future. Then again, I have no idea who may or may not read the blogs, and speaking the truth is just that, speaking the truth. I'm not going to be able to please everyone. Pleasing God is enough.

Photo Credit: AskGramps.org

    

    

Weird Dream: Deception, Kiosk, Fried Chicken, and Asphalt

 You just need to really pay attention to the details when you dream because you may not remember them when you wake.  They make a HUGE difference. Let me give you an example. I dreamed another person, not me, was dressing up in a school marm dress and pretending to be pious. I wondered why it mattered, but "they", the others, were calling her out for it, and saying she was pretending to be a nun.  We all know that nuns don't dress in that fashion, but that was in my dream.  These are the things you need to try to remember because when you look it up to see what it means it really does matter who is doing what, and who is saying what about it. You (me) are the observer at times, not the participant.

    So, in my dream, I was watching the woman who was being called out at a meeting of some sort. They were telling her that she was pretending or being deceptive. She was arguing about it and saying it was her right to dress the way she wanted to. She was trying to get the attention of a man. (who would really want a delicate woman dressed in an old-fashioned dress?) She was being deceptive. That was the notable part of the dream.  I needed to pay attention as it deals with my surroundings, the people around me, and so forth. I wasn't the deceptive one, but there must be someone in my waking life who is being deceptive.

    After the meeting, of which I was a part of that, I drove to the hill to get my lunch you know. That's where they serve lunch. They served it from a kiosk and it was fried chicken and mashed potatoes. When I started to pay for it the cashier rang it up as $21.99.  I said, "No, I won't pay that, it's too much." So she put it back and I walked away. I'm not stupid! It should have been about $4.00 maybe $5.00 tops. I drove my car home and because the traffic light was red I stopped. I do that. I obey traffic rules in my sleep.  Then I turned left after getting into the middle of the intersection.  That move, according to the dream books, means that I am in the middle of the chaos of life, I see it, I manage my way through it, and I successfully meet my goals. Yea!!

    By the way, the mashed potatoes were in another dream this past week. They represent the steady and slow grind for all of your accomplishments in your job. The fried chicken was interesting. It represented the heart of the matter, the down to Earth morals and thoughts that I carry around. I think it's comfort food, a staple, and it's good for me, (maybe not the fried part) and it's good stuff, but the lady wanted way too much for it, so I didn't pay for it. I just went on my way. The hill my car had to climb was dark asphalt and again, asphalt deals with employment. It's a new road in an old place. It's a new beginning. The hill was steep! I had to really push my car hard to get to the top of it, but I did manage. I know there will be new challenges, but I'm willing to make it happen.

    I've already told you what the dream means really, so I don't have to go over it again. I think I'll be doing OK soon in my new job and I'll work through the challenges. I did buy a Ravenclaw House banner to put up in my new room. It's lovely.  I knew I was a Ravenclaw the instance I saw the Sorting Hat. I have taken about 6 different quizzes (Hogwarts games online) and each one says the same thing. I am a Ravenclaw!   I raised three Gryffindors.  Crazy.

Photo Credit: Qfeast.com

    

Weird Dream (Showers, Stars, Condom?)

 Well, well, well, here we are at another odd dream. I have them. Sometimes I can remember them, sometimes I can't. This time I saw things and I remember thinking I need to write this down and then I woke up and couldn't remember all that I wanted to write down.  Therefore, because I couldn't force myself to get out of bed to write down what it was that I saw, I will have to recall only that which I can recall.  I still think it's pretty interesting. After going through the dream books of symbols and whatnot I have come up with a fairly decent answer to any questions I may have. I can tell you this, I had NO IDEA what it meant to see a condom covering the shower head. That was a new one for me.

    I was outside. I was looking up at the skies and noticed not only that they were full of stars, but they were also becoming more and more full as I watched. More stars appeared while I stood there gazing upward.  I saw dark pretty blue clear skies with thousands of bright twinkling stars. There were no shooting stars, there were no planets such as the Moon, Venus, or Mars. I only saw the twinkling brilliant stars. Then, out of nowhere, the number three was formed in the void of stars. You could see the stars surrounding the number, and the number was visible in the blue sky.

    I then proceeded to the obstacle course which was mostly uphill.  I don't know where I was, but it was on flatland after I climbed a hill.  Then, the obstacle course had a lava rock climbing element to it that I had to master. I wasn't allowed to use any safety net, ropes, or anything. I simply had to climb to the top of the lava rock structure, and I made it! I was so proud of myself. The stars were still out and I could still see the number 3 over my head. It was time to go "back to the public place" and take a shower.  My friends were talking openly about the public place as if it were something sort of like the Public Market in Seattle. 

    I walked to the "public place" (I love how we know what it is in our dreams.) to take a shower. I didn't have a towel so I wrapped myself in my striped bedsheets.  I hung the bedsheet over the door so people would know I was occupying that particular shower stall.  I was in the shower and trying to get the showerhead to work correctly, but it was being stopped.  I couldn't figure out what was on the end, but upon closer examination, I found it to be a condom! What? Yep, a condom on the showerhead, catching the water, but not bursting.  I removed it, threw it away, and took my shower without any other hindrances.   When I was finished, I wrapped myself in my bedsheet and met my friends to go to the store. 

There you go! Certainly, that makes a whole lot of sense to anyone!

• Stars appearing in multitudes: money, fortune, good tidings, happiness
• Dark Blue Sky: Deep feelings, sentimental feelings, all-around good
• The number 3: Unity, Trinity, protection from all sides, again, good
• Uphill: I have to work for it.
• Obstacle course: self-explanatory, I have to work through the challenges
• Lava rock: Comes out of the ground, organic, from the soul, from my mind
• Making it to the top: Achieving all goals set and others expected
• Public Place: The world at large
• Bed sheet: my personal convictions
• Shower: cleaning myself of my past
• THE CONDOM? What? It represents a new job! Who the hell would have thought that? If a woman finds a condom in her dream it is not the same as if a man finds it. It was being filled up and it was for me. The world was giving me a new beginning, a cleaning, a fresh start, and the symbol was for employment. I actually accepted a new job just yesterday!
• My friends: My friends are with me through it all.
• Going to the store: Refresh, replenish, stock up.

These dreams are so much fun and I love them. I hope I keep having more. I will note that Arthur's Seat is a volcano in the middle of Edinburgh, Scotland. If I wanted to start my new challenges uphill and with lava rock that would make sense! I did get over all the humps and bumps. I did make it to the top! Woo hoo!! Let it be, Jesus!! Let it be!

Photo Credit: TripSavy.com

    

Weird Dream: Making Decisions on Tuesday

 It's kind of funny how I am now remembering the dreams I had the night before and writing them down. What I find myself doing is remembering them just as I am waking. I try to stay semi-awake to go back over them so I can recall details of conversations, colors, dates, times, and such.  Last night I had a bit of a nastier dream in terms of dealing with people. There were quite a few liars and manipulators in the dream. I was successful in thwarting any of their plans, but it was a bit crazy at times. I had to really think quickly a couple of times. I do hope most of the dream doesn't come true. I wouldn't mind the last part being real!

    There was no beginning to the dream, I was in a situation with others wherein I was being asked to sign a contract. They were being asked to do the same. We were in a group setting, and the people in charge were aimlessly walking around sort of trying to keep our eyes moving. They were trying to distract from what was really happening. There was an RV in the parking lot, and it was absolutely full of newly washed t-shirts that were new, but were not folded. They were just sort of crammed into the RV. One lady was saying there were 3600 of them, and we'd be obligated to pay for that when we signed. 

    At first blush, it looked as if it was a partnership-type contract, and my buy-in would be that I bought the t-shirts, then sold them for whatever profit I could make. That's not a bad thing, but I wasn't into selling t-shirts. I wanted to do something else.  I put the people off, and I continued the tour. I watched and observed as others signed, but I didn't want to. There was a soccer game going on, so I pretended to be interested in it so I wouldn't have to sign or be pressured into signing. 

    I left the area, but not before picking up a trashcan full of information. I said to the man who was pressuring me that I would let him know by Tuesday.  He wasn't happy with my answer and he followed me out to my car.  I left the trashcan there and drove off.  I came back later and I saw everyone sort of hanging out and talking. They had a food spread, and they were watching another game.  I took two chicken tacos and smiled. I walked away. That was it.

• RV = freedom and escape from the routine.
• T-shirts = also relaxing and a more casual way of living
• The number 3600 = 3+6 or the number 9.  Wisdom and experience
• Partnership = I didn't want to work with anyone. Just by myself.
• Soccer = UK? I love football, but am learning the game of soccer.
• Trashcan = self-explanatory.  I didn't want their trash. They were liars.
• Drove away = self-explanatory. I left them standing there.
• Came back for food = I liked the food! I didn't hate the people.
• Chicken Tacos = again, a relaxed and leisurely meal

So, all in all, I was relaxed, and this was a business negotiation. I was being considered, but I was also considering. I was not going to take them at their word. I didn't believe them. I gave them a date, Tuesday. That means I was setting timelines and goals. I made the decision to be where I wanted to be, not them. This was a dream that made me think about striking out on my own soon.

    

    When the time is right, and it will be soon, I will decide to use my own resources and be my own boss in the world of Forex. I may trade options as well. I think I will at least try to diversify and keep my own options open!!  This was a good dream. 

Photo Credit: Modelcarsmag.com