Laura has a new boyfriend, sort of. She's been online dating him since about February, and this is now mid-July, so they're officially a couple I suppose. He's from Sweden, and I call him "Dwight" because his first name sounds like "Yoakum" when you say it out loud. He's the best, really, and I don't mind bragging a bit about him. To be honest, he's young and handsome, two great traits a woman like Laura should consider in a man. He's also bright, intelligent, hard-working, and really funny. He doesn't always know he's being funny, which only endears him to us even more. We are very happy he's here for a visit.
Since Dwight is going to be with us for a little over a week, we have decided to take him to all the places he would be subjected to going should he decide to make Oklahoma his permanent residence. We think he will, eventually, decide to move to Oklahoma, as he is a Ph.D. student at the University of Stockholm, where he is studying to be a meteorologist. You'd be hard-pressed to find a better place to practice that particular line of work than on the plains of the Sooner State. I laugh when I say "Sooner State" because where that is what we call Oklahoma, my daughter attended the OTHER university in Oklahoma, and she was MOST upset with me when I began training (teaching) Dwight the fight song for the University of Oklahoma. Anyone can sing it really, it goes like this: "Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner!" and then you repeat that a few more times and yell really loudly at the end! It is one of the most recognized fight songs in the world!
We took Dwight straight from the airport to Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store because...well, because Braum's. Braum's is an Oklahoma-based restaurant and store with fast food such as burgers, fries, chicken strips, and salads, and it has a grocery store attached with more than 31 flavors of ice cream, it's closer to 80 flavors if I had to guess. We bought a new flavor none of us had tried, it's Neopolitan Cookie Dough. It's awesome. We also bought burgers, fries, and the obligatory soft drink, soda, or pop, whatever you want to call it. In Oklahoma, they are all called Coke, even if it is Sprite or Dr. Pepper. It is what it is, you don't need to worry about it. I drink unsweetened tea anyway, which is so far from being Southern that it's sad.
Today, we woke the man up pretty early so we could take him to a few more places and do a few more Oklahoma and/or American things. He was bowled over by the heat, which is 101 today. He was really impressed with how many pickup trucks are on the road, and he thought the fact that nearly every business flew the American flag was something to be seen for sure. He wondered if there was a special reason for it - - to which I answered, "Yes, there is a special reason for it. We're American". He understood. Laura smiled and said she really hadn't noticed, but she would have noticed if they weren't out and flying! She's not wrong.
We went to Winco, a grocery store, and we bought a few things he needed to try. One of those things is a Moon Pie! You can't come to America's South and not have a Moon Pie. I think it may very well be illegal, and your hosts could be imprisoned for a while if you don't at least try one. He liked it. He had seen bulk groceries before, but nothing like they have at Winco. Winco is famous for having aisle after aisle of so many bulk foods. The three he was most impressed with were the chicken gravy powder, the blueberry muffin powder in bulk, and granulated sugar. I don't usually use real sugar, but since he's here we'll do that. I don't want to force my Stevia on him. He tried Kool-aid for the first time too. Loved it.
One of the most important firsts for Dwight was his very first PBJ sandwich! In Sweden (and most of Europe) they eat peanut butter with bread of course, but they don't add jelly or jam to it. Today, he has conquered the PBJ, and again, he's a big fan! He will never again be able to eat just a lonely peanut butter sandwich without adding the jam to it. He may be exactly what Sweden needs to bring that sandwich to the forefront! Let's make this happen people!!
He came back to the apartment with us and we ordered Mexican food from an amazing local restaurant called Ted's. You can search the state over and even dip into Texas and you won't find better authentic Mexican food. You can get it hot, but we don't like it that way, so we didn't force that on him. We did buy him some Tums just to be safe. Again, they have antiacid in Sweden, but not Tums! He is just learning so much. Over the course of the week, I'm sure Laura has a lot of plans for him. She should take him to the lake, to the ballpark, downtown to walk the river walk, and she should take him to a few museums since it's so freaking hot she can't really stay outside very long with him. Both of them are as pale as ghosts! (Laura is a ginger)
Pretty sure he's going to go back to Sweden with 1000 stories to tell his friends and family, and I'm pretty sure he'll have to explain to them why it is that I call him Dwight. If nothing else, I'll end up buying him a hat to dip down over his face and teach him to "day-nce" a little -- just a little, we don't need the man buying cowboy boots, chewing straw, and threatening to buy a gelding in the next week. He'll have plenty of time to do that when he comes back to stay a minute. I teased him when we were in the pet store. He said he doesn't normally go to the pet store and I laughed because we go 3x a week for something. If you're going to be with Laura you're going to have cat hair, dog hair, ferret hair, horse hair, and lizard poop on you most of the time. It's just a given. Welcome to Oklahoma Dwight! We already love you buddy!!
Photo Credit: Me
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