Everyone has their opinions on the matter of what is and what is not attractive. I'm not talking about whether or not the man is attractive. That's another matter altogether. When I say I had dinner with the most handsome man EVER to walk the face of the Earth, I mean in general, he's unmatched when it comes to how very gorgeous he is. His smile, his eyes, the way he nods at me or lifts his chin to say something to me. He gives me silent messages with a glance. He can even give me directives from time to time if I'm paying attention as I should. It's just that when he's in my sight I can only think of one thing; just how PRECIOUS he is, and how I thank God every day for my Baby Boy Reuben. I could look at him all day.
I say I could look at him all day because I could, but there's no way I could listen to him all day. Nope. The man is an asshat! He'll tell you straight up that I'm telling you the truth. Yep. He's one of the biggest asshats I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He's not, however, the biggest asshat I've ever given birth to; that would be his little baby sister Caity. LOVE YOU CAITY BABY!!! (She'll never see that, none of my kids read my blogs.) Reuben, for all his wonderfulness and glorious charm, can really be a bit self-centered at times. I was happy to have dinner with him but found it difficult to really open up and discuss anything that really mattered to me. It's OK with me that he wanted to talk about his personal achievements on the occasion of taking me out for my birthday, but that's solely because I'm his mom and he knows I have to listen to him rattle on about them.
It's sort of like when I set the Christmas tree up and find the ornaments the three kids have made over the years; even though they aren't the most "attractive" decorations, they are the best ones! They are the most genuinely loving and carefully thoughtful ornaments and they are the ones I cherish. I don't think the tree really shines because of them, no, that would be a lie, but I won't set the thing up without them. I'm the MOM! We do that. Don't we? So there he is, eating the best BBQ I think I've had in a very long time (The place is called Bedlam, and it's off 50th and Lincoln Blvd., in Oklahoma City, if you're thinking of going). He was cordial, he tried to listen to me peel off a few thoughts and/or facts about my experiences at work or home before he took over the conversation and let me in on all of the really cool things happening to, with, and for himself. OK...tell me more.
At one point I noticed that he had stopped talking and I wondered for about half a second if he was going to take a drink of tea or if he was just catching his breath before going on to Phase 2. It was Phase 2. I was then entertained with his stories about military life which included complaints, goals set and met, his new privates, their lack of achievements, and finally what he's planning to spring on said privates at the next drill, which should be in a week or so. Fun times. It's not that I don't love, love, love, hearing about his every move with his subordinate soldiers, but I would prefer to hear more about his personal actual life; you know, son stuff. If I have to be subjected to having a one-way conversation, it should at least be about the man I love more than any other man; shouldn't it be?
OK...now we're talking. He started in on his newest hobby, which for some is not "attractive" at all. He's now a bonafide hunter. He went out with his buddies (since this is hunting season in Oklahoma) and he hunted, waited for, shot, and killed, (then he had to find where it ran off to) his first deer. He has been shooting numerous times, even if you don't count the years he spent in foreign countries at the bequest of our fine United States Army and Oklahoma National Guard. Reuben has been in the military since September 21, 2006. Even saying that I realize it's been 16 years! Wow! He doesn't have any issues using a rifle, but he hadn't shot a deer before. This was his first time.
I am personally not going to shoot at deer, rabbits, ducks, or anything that moves unless it's a human and they're trying to attack me. I'm really not into the sport of hunting. Reuben is one of the good guys when it comes to that; he will use every inch of that animal one way or the other. He even offered me part of the kill to which I was also cordial; thanking him, but declining. No, he can share that with his baby sister if he wants to. I assume she hasn't shot one for herself this year, but she actually does hunt. Her dad took her a few times. If you ask me, and no one does, Bambi deserves to run around. If we have too many Bambis maybe we could look into a spay/neuter thing for the animals to keep their numbers down, but no one ever asks me. I'm not the best to ask in that situation. I think with my heart.
After dinner, which was early in the evening or later afternoon, the man decided (because he does that) to kidnap me and take me shopping with him. I don't mind. I never mind, except his driving scares the hell out of me and I find myself becoming closer and closer to Jesus throughout the entire event. He speeds, he dashes, he weaves, he cusses, he maneuvers, and he outdrives anyone and literally everyone on the freeway, sideroads, residential roads, and even the parking lots. When we stop, when we finally stop, I'm able to breathe normally again, and I'm able to whisper "Amen" before I have to prepare myself to do it again for the trip home.
Finding all he needed at the Cabella's (Think Bass Pro Shop) and other hunting and/or camping stores in the area, we were heading back home when he decided (as he often does) to take me with him while he checks out something else he's wanted to check out for a while. I don't even know what it was. We drove past a few things, circled around, and drove back by the same area(s) a couple of times. He slowed down, he sped up, he was done, and we went home. Recon!! At least he was fully and completely satisfied with whatever it was and though I'll never know what it was, I did see a new set of terraced houses being built in an area of town I had never seen before because it was once covered in dense thick woods! That was cool.
Reuben, or "Baby Boy" as I call him, is truly an awesome and powerful force of nature. He's willing and able to assist. He's more than happy to explain things. Talk about "Mansplaining", I get that in abundance when I'm with my son, whether or not I really feel the need to know about a subject he's trying to explain to me. Moms for the most part sort of stare blankly and listen, I'm no exception. It's like he forgets I'm both educated and worldly; it doesn't matter, I'm the mom, therefore I need things explained.
I'll take it....from him! I won't take that sort of abuse from anyone else. No. I thought about that later in the evening after I came home. If a man other than my son had been as rude, forward, intrusive, and/or curt with me, if he tried to explain things to me using simplified language and even hand gestures, if he tried to drive my happy butt from Point A to Points B, C, D, E, and F in the overly aggressive manner that my son did - - wow. That man would get a swift kick to the nuts before we even left the restaurant. Just sayin'.
It's a good thing my son is so handsome. That's all I have to say about it. Can you imagine if he were ugly? No....neither can I. It's as if God knew. God knew I needed this one. He saved the best for me. I get to kiss him on the cheek and send him back to his wife; she deserves him. Love my boy. I really do. I wouldn't trade him for anyone and I wouldn't take another one just like him. Nope. One Reu is enough for me! (Thank you, Jesus!)
GREAT food.
Truly handsome man.
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