About a year ago, I sold my last horse because I was planning to move to Scotland, I knew I couldn't take him with me, and I found an amazing family with kids to take good care of him. Casper is a grade Quarter Horse, and he stands about 14.3HH weighing in about 1000 pounds. When I got him I weighed over 210 pounds and my saddle weighed about 26 pounds, so that's 235-240 pounds. A horse really shouldn't be subjected to more than 20-22% of his/her weight as cargo, and that includes the weight of the gear. Yes, I know, I know, there are 250-pound men riding 14HH cow ponies and there are women who carry about that much weight on themselves as well while riding, and they think it's OK if they're only going for a short ride. It is not good for the horse(s) and no, I am not going down that road today. That's another reason I decided to get out of the horse world; the horse people!
I always say the best thing about horse people is their dogs, and I mean that. I fully mean that. Horse people can be some of the most sarcastic, rude, and uninformed know-it-all bastions of moronic behavior, but they're dead set that you are the same. You can't be right because they're right. You'll never be right because they are, and even if you prove it to them, you're still wrong. That's the case with so many horse people I know, and after all the years I've been into horses, I have met and seen my share. No, I've seen and met far too many. I'm really very glad that my daughter keeps up with her hobby, and I don't have to.
Owning a horse can be so very rewarding. It really is, there is nothing like it in the world. Owning a horse can be extremely expensive too, and there's nothing like that in the world either. You find that you have no problem spending $150 for a vet to come out and check to see if your horse is really sick but you won't spend $6 on a bottle of name-brand shampoo for yourself. Now, if it's "Mane and Tail" shampoo you might, but it goes to the barn and stays there. It is good shampoo though, and you can use it as well as your horse. No biggie there. I'm just saying that when you own a horse (or three or ten) you'll end up spending your last dollar on something it needs or you think it needs. I can't tell you how many times I've just walked around Atwoods and wound up at the horse section looking over another piece of tack when I know damn well I don't need anything else, but there I am, thinking another halter would really look snazzy and why not? Why NOT? Because I already had 9.
I lost the weight, and when I did I found that I was staying on top of the horse more and spending less time picking myself up from the ground. Funny how that whole physics thing works out now and again. When I was heavier I was riding my horse like I did when I was a kid. I was riding as if I was fit, and honey, I was not fit. I was not thin, I was not close to being in shape or healthy, but there I was on top of that saddle and pushing the pony to do more than he had the umpf to do! Poor guy. I leased him for about a year before selling him to be sure I wanted to keep him; I knew I wanted to, but I didn't know if I was really going to lose the weight I needed to, and I really didn't know the situation with the overseas move.
The company I was going to work for never took off. After COVID they decided to pack it in. They didn't have the strength to withstand the months off without income; it was what it was, and it is what it is. I sold the horse about a week before I found out the bad news; and you can't very well go back and get your horse back, not when you sell it to good people with great kids who really love the horse! I cut my losses and considered the sale a good thing. I miss my Casper, he was and is a good example of what near perfection looks like. Norman, my Mustang, was in fact pure perfection. Bedtime Hero, my older Quarter Horse was also perfection. I've been very very blessed. Eoghan!! I can't forget Eoghan!! He was also near near near perfection. God has been so wonderful allowing me to have so many sweet creatures in my life.
Now what? Do I get another horse? I can. I could take $1500 from the bank and buy the horse. Then I'd need about $300 to have it delivered. I'd need another $350 to have it quarantined first, then about $400 for the first month's board. Of course, after he (gelding) arrived at the barn there would be a farrier called out, that's another $45. I'd need a vet check, $150.00. I'd need Lacy to come out and do a full-body chiropractic procedure; can't go without that. It's for the horse, not me. She charges about $125. Oh, and we can't forget the dentist!! Every other horse you see needs his or her teeth floated. Washburn does the best job I know, and he's another $125.00. Are you feeling what I'm saying? That's BEFORE I hop on and ride. There's the saddle of course, too. I sold mine, so I'll need one. I can pick one up at the swap for $400, I kept the bridles, bits, and pads. What's the total? $3395 and that's just not the end of it. That's the start of it.
Next, you'll find yourself at Atwoods, Tractor Supply, or online buying the buckets, feed, tack, grooming goods, essential medical care supplies, tackle box for the medical supplies, and more. You'll need lotions, sprays, hoof care supplements, possibly joint supplements, daily wormer, rotation wormer(s), and those things you just thought of at the last minute that sort of jumped out at you like saddle soap, no one ever has the right hoof picks, so you buy two, one for a backup! This is a real thing folks. If you have a horse you have no money. I mean, you're happy, sure, and you're riding off into the sunset with a big grin on your face, but you aren't eating as well as you once did, and you turn off the lights all the time too. You find that your clothes and mouth always have horse hair in and on them and you don't care if your boots are muddy when you walk into the store. You can't afford to go into a store that doesn't understand muddy boots anyway.
Well, here's what I'm doing now. I have decided to get another horse, but this time I'm not doing the whole $4000 out of my pocket thing. Nope. I found a horse online that will cost me $799 delivered, and ladies and gentlemen, I don't have to feed it. I can name it. I'll probably name it, but I don't have to ever worry about it collicking. I don't need to set appointments for it and be out at the barn to meet the vet, dentist, chiro, or anyone because the horse will be IN MY HOUSE and not even at the barn. Did I mention before that the $400 was for pasture care, not a stall? Yeah, keeping your horse in a stall will be $700 or so a month. (A MONTH!!) My new horse is going to be both efficient and effective. I will ride it (don't know if it's a girl or boy) and I'll never have to worry about anyone stealing it because to do so they'd need to first be inside my house and I think it weighs over 72 pounds. It's made of iron for the most part. :)
I'm going to buy an electric mechanical horse. I knew they had electric mechanical bulls and I actually thought about buying one and only keeping the settings at a slow pace and forward not spinning or twisting. I can just see myself flying off the side and hitting the frames of my paintings on the walls! Geez, that would be a mess. Nope. I don't have to do that. I can just buy the mechanical horse and be done with it. The settings allow you to trail ride, walk, trot, canter, and even gallop! I can post and I can relax and one-hand it. I am actually not thinking about galloping in my living room either. I think a good steady canter may be the best for me. I'm not into trotting in the first place, and certainly not if I have a remote control to do what I want to do!! I'm going to trail walk through my coffee time and canter for the workout! Man, this is gonna be fun. I have a 30-day trial too, so if I don't like it I can send it back and get a full refund!! WHOA! (did you like that?)
What should I call the thing? I'm thinking something Scots Gaelic, maybe Haggis! It's got to be a good strong name. I don't think the thing is purebred, probably just a grade animal, but it is dark, compact, and attractive. It has a built-in "saddle" and comes with speed control. Oh...that's good. I think it comes with a crop whip! That should make you laugh. It made me laugh when I saw it. This is a mechanical horse. Why would anyone need...wait, I think I just figured it out; never mind. Not that I would use a crop, like I said, I will use the extra hand for holding my coffee. I do that when I ride a real horse as well. The thing must be broke to the point that I can ride one-handed and hold my cup. I've had some really good horses in the past, but I think Haggis may be the smoothest ride of all; not to mention he'll be controllable; I have a remote. Oh, I guess I just said "he" so I guess it's a boy -- we know he'll be a gelding. Sort of like the crop. I don't think I'll use a saddle either, just ride bareback. Yeah, this could work. If nothing else I'll have fun exercising and the neighbors will have something to talk about. Jeannie will try it. She'll probably end up buying herself one. Why not? Cheap entertainment. The dogs (and cats) deserve a good show!
Did I tell you the thing comes with spurs? Really? (just odd) OK, I have to be honest, I'm not really getting this, it would be fun though.
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