Chicken Salad Snobbery.

 No matter what I'm doing on a Sunday I always crave Chick-Fil-A. I can't be the only one who does that! I'll be like, "Oh yes, I need a ....oh, yeah, it's Sunday, they're closed!"  Cane's is literally across the street from Chick-Fil-A here in the middle of OKC, but I don't even know if they serve a chicken salad or not. I need t check into that.  When at CFA (not to be confused with KFC) I always get the same thing. I am just such a predictable girl that way. I only only only go to CFA if the line is short. That's the other thing about me. I can be dying for a Market Chicken Salad but if there are 6 or more cars in the line (queue for those in the UK) I really just leave the parking lot and pull into Braum's where I know I can get a Strawberry Poppy Seed Salad for less money, and it's not bad - - and yes, they are always open on Sunday! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

    When it comes to chicken salads I am a bit of a meanie. I really am. My friends hate me when I put pineapple on my pizza and they hate me just as much when I tell them I get the chicken salad with the fruit rather than the savory toppings they're used to. I can understand loads of cheese and bacon on a salad, I really can, but when I want my chicken salad I want it with fruit!  CFA serves it with Feta cheese! They give me packets of crushed almonds and granola!! I still end up putting more cranberries on top. I love crannies with my chicken, it's a thang and it's my thang, so it will be done.  Oh, and no actual poppy seed dressing, too much sugar - - apple vinegar or balsamic; nothing drastic like a cream ranch or zesty anything. 

    If I had to be honest, and I say that as if I'm not, but I am, I would say I eat at least 2 or 3 chicken salads a week, and today was the FIRST CFA chicken (Market) salad in weeks because every time I drive by the restaurant I can't get near the place due to the line stretching out to and past the curb! It should be illegal to allow people to do that. It's a traffic hazard just stop! POLICE!!!  That's just me, I am usually pretty hacked that I can't get anywhere close to the sweet order takers who always make it their duty to make you as happy as you can possibly be. LOVE them.  I told my daughter to HURRY home so we could try and beat the crowd tonight. We did it!! We pulled into the line in and were the 3rd in line. (They have two lines) and just as we pulled in the place opened up! Six, ten, fifteen cars right behind us! WE DID IT. We had our food within 3 or 4 minutes of ordering and let me tell you, they don't cheat you on the amount of chicken they put on top of your salad at CFA! NOPE.

    Laura usually orders the #1 or the regular Chick-Fil-A sandwich with CFA sauce, but not today. She did the Cob Salad and she was over in her room just loving it. I could hear her bragging about it to her European friends who don't have a CFA. They wanted to know if it was like KFC....goodness, can you be less offensive please? Don't compare the two. It's drastic. It's really sad. Chick-Fil-A is just an amazing chain and if you don't have one you need one. Write to them and make it happen. Just maybe ask your city engineers to pick a location where when the cars start to line up they don't end up with cars waiting over 30 minutes to get into the ordering stage. It's just sooooooo not good for traffic and it makes me wonder who would be legally responsible if they were hit by oncoming traffic while in line. If that were to happen you'd miss your place in line and you'd miss that sandwich too. I mean, you could go in and order it I suppose. I wonder if many people just do that and skip the line.  Sad note: I did break my straw when I pulled it out of the wrapper to put into my tea! I sliced it in the middle, you can't recover from that! First World Issues MUCH?

    I'll give it to CFA for the salad, but Braum's does have better iced tea. You have to specify at CFA that you want UNSWEETENED tea, whereas at Braum's you say REGULAR tea. Thank you. It is regular tea. I may be from the South, but no sugar in my tea thank you! I don't like it in my hot tea, and I don't like it in my cold tea. I like my sugar in chocolate!  That's about it, I just wanted to brag a little on my dining choices tonight. I made it through CFA in record time and the chicken was the best. RANKED #1 in my book -- and yes, my book does count.  It's a great book.

PHOTO CREDIT: Wallpapersdsc.com

Liar Liar! Pants on Fire!

 As kids we often ran behind someone cackling out a really annoying cadence of "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!" and we were really so immature about it. We still do it as adults when we tease or want to appear cute or funny. Most of us don't do it genuinely after the age of say 12.  What it really symbolizes is that the person calling the cadence KNOWS that the other person(s) is a liar, a non-truth teller, and the kid being obnoxious is really just having a jest at the expense of the would-be liar.  I think the "pants on fire" part is to warn them not to lie or else they'll burn up and go to hell. That seems about right. We were always thinking something was going to send us straight to hell when we were kids. (Now we know that only one thing will actually cause that fate to happen -- but that's another blog)

    Lies, as it turns out, can actually make a person sick to their stomach. It can also affect their head in that telling lies can cause anxiety and stiffness in the neck.  We know when we're lying. We just do it for the dumbest of reasons too. Most of us lie to either fit in, or not to be pulled out of whatever clique we've adjoined ourselves to.  We lie to cover up a little problem. We lie to cover for someone else. We lie so we're not seen as being overly religious, overly domineering, overly blunt, or overly whatever. We lie because we're chicken-shit and we can't take the truth when it's standing right there in front of us. We choose to lie. Face it, sometimes it's just easier to lie.

    Bigger lies don't exist. You have, we have, all heard someone say "It was just a little white lie" it doesn't really matter, and it doesn't hurt anyone. It was said to smooth things over, and you know, there's that one that says "It's none of their business, so I just lied to give them something to think about. They wouldn't leave me alone! So I lied."  Hey, you're not alone if you've done that. We have all, and I mean ALL, done that from time to time. Is it right? No. Does it suffice? Sometimes. Is it going to be a bad thing if we don't straighten it out? Maybe.  The thing is, in the end, I mean the REAL end, we are all accountable for our actions. We will face the music. We will give an answer for it; maybe not here on Earth.

    I used to teach Ethics at the college level. On the very first day of class, I got there early, and I wrote on the board "QUESTION: Is it ever OK to tell a lie?"  The first assignment in order to introduce themselves to the class was to answer the question, and say their name.  NOT ONE TIME did I ever ask anyone to explain themselves. NOT ONCE, but time and time again, over and over again, the students would stand up, read out their answers, tell their names and give reasons why lying could be OK. I think a few may have said no it wasn't, but really, almost every last one of them every semester, said it was OK and they told everyone why they thought that.  The second question I wrote on the board was "QUESTION: Why did you feel the need to explain yourself when I never asked you to?"  Wow...that as a show stopper EVERY TIME.  Laughter!  Red-faced laughter.

    According to so many documented professional white papers, there are reasons for a person to start telling the truth and one of them is to release themselves from the years of anxiety and stress caused by telling so many lies. They have to try and remember which friend they told this to, and which friend they told that to. When it becomes necessary to rehearse an imaginary conversation with yourself before you see a friend, colleague, or family member just to go over the ways and means of what it was you may or may not have said, there's a real problem. You may seek therapy for it, and the therapist may ask you to go back and remedy the situation; sort of like a 12-step program for alcohol or drugs, lying is a real killer! It can become so bad that people believe their own lies over time and they just hate themselves to the point of not wanting to be alone; they don't like the company they're with when they are alone.

    The suicide rate due to anxiety in some smaller countries is by capita so much greater than that of the United States, and you'd think the U.S. would have more attempts and suicides but we tend to let off steam and vent more; this could be a reason why we have fewer attempts and less successful events.  Suicide is never the answer, it really isn't. There is always someone somewhere who can at least try to help if the depression gets that bad. Another lie people tell themselves is that no one cares about them. That they don't matter, that the world would be better off without them. These too are lies. NOT the truth, and not the way things should become.  I wish I could just cut to the quick here and say STOP THE MADNESS just tell the BLEEPING truth!

    We lie to hide something we don't want others to know. We lie to conceal more than we lie to show. We lie to hide more than we lie to expose. We lie to cover up more than we lie to reveal. Are you getting the picture? What is done in the dark will be made known in the light -- eventually. NOTHING is hidden forever. What happens is that people pretend to be this way, when really they are that way, and then because of their job, their hobby, their position or status, they lie and say they are doing what is expected of them.  They tell other people things like "Your revelations couldn't be further from the truth" when in REALITY, the revelations mentioned were SPOT ON -- even if it isn't the business of the one making the revelations, stating that they are so far off is a LIE  Best to ignore someone than to lie and pretend to be something you're not (especially when the proof is overwhelming).  Best to let your yes be yes and your no be no.

    Lies = sickness.  Here's a great article about it,  https://www.nextavenue.org/truth-lying-makes-you-sick/       I won't go into full detail, but much of what I've talked about is covered in this article. It was sent to me by a friend who called me to say she had been lying to me for years. She and her husband were on the brink of divorce. He was living in the house to save money, but it was about to drive her crazy and she couldn't keep it up much longer without busting from the stress the lies (not the man) were causing.  The man was and is his own stress maker, but the lies of telling me, others, family members, church members, and anyone that he was OK and that the marriage was really strong was just overwhelming after a while. Both had stopped posting things about love and fun things; it became apparent to anyone who followed them that there was something wrong, but rather than tell the truth she decided it was best to keep it in-house and just lie - - it was, after all, their business, right?  Right. Right up until the day she had a panic attack and was hospitalized for it. Her doctor prescribed telling the truth!  That was amazing!

    Well, I'll let you go, but I wanted to bring this up because so many people lie about who they are, what they are, if they are, etc.  They can't just say I am....(fill in the blank) because they think it's a private matter. Private or not your gut doesn't see things this way. Your gut will bloat and cause vile nasty things to happen to you because you decided to continue to lie about it. You, me, we lie when we don't want to be caught  - here's a thought, don't do anything you'd be CAUGHT at doing! Live your life in such a way that no one can say anything about you that isn't true.  That way you don't have to keep up the fairytales. Cut out the cause of your illnesses, both mental and physical -- be honest.

    It may not win you any popularity contests, but you'll rest better. 

Photo Credit: Bbmarketing.com

Waiting. Waiting. I Hate It.

 Tom Petty sings it, we feel it, "The waiting is the hardest part", yes, it is! It doesn't matter what you're waiting on, the waiting is just such a bother.  They call it a queue (que) in the UK, we call it a line in the U.S., but standing around waiting to get into a place, or to get checked out is just so time consuming and it's such a waste.  The Brits can do it so much better than we Americans can. I think that's why stores here have more cashier lanes than they do in other parts of the world. It's an illusion for some, as the stores don't open those lanes, but we see them and we're hopeful. Always hopeful!

    I will walk into a restaurant I really want to go to, but if there are more than a few (3) people in line I just turn around and head out the door. I don't stand in line to be seated to wait for a wait staff, to wait for my food. It's not happening. I'll go home and cook. I may stop by Braum's and go through the drive through but I won't go in if I think there's already two others at the counter. That's why, here in the U.S., when we drive by a Chick-Fil-A and we see a short line of only 3 or 4 cars we automatically jump in line (que) because Chick-Fil-A has it down to a masterful science! You are in and out of that line fast, fast, and it's always their pleasure to do so. They tell you as much when you say "Thank you".

    Right now I'm waiting to be told by an employment agency whether or not I've been chosen to be the next paralegal at a great law firm downtown. This is the sort of job we all dream about as people who are into both legal things and financial things. This particular job embraces both finance and law. I can't think of anything more sexy than that. Just sayin'; it will be marvelous if I'm the one they pick, but I won't and I can't know at the moment. I have to WAIT. I am waiting, but no where near as patiently as one would hope that one would wait. I'm dancing and talking to get my mind off of it. I can't sit still and read. I can't just not think about it. I may have already won the position, but I won't know until I get the call saying so! It's agonizing and it's the worse fate ever -- but we do it. 

    My daughter was in the middle of a horse auction yesterday through the original BLM, the Bureau of Land Management.  She does that from time to time. She will bid on a wild Mustang, bring it home, train it, and then sell it, but this time it was for herself. She was bidding and winning on the ONE she wanted and since she was only bidding on one she had to have about 15 in mind so that if she was outbid she could walk away without being emotionally upset about it. If you ever go to the site and see the animals you'll know that most are between the ages of two and ten and they are all recently captured, and by recently I mean usually about a year. There's really no way they would auction off horses that haven't been vetted first. All of the horses you bid on are healthy. I don't think I've seen on that isn't.  

    Laura had to WAIT an entire week to find out if the horse(s) she bid on were going to be hers. The one piece of advice I gave her was not to worry, God makes more. There are always more horses to bid on, and they are all lovely. The are all wonderful. They are all perfect in their own way.  The hardest part of these auctions is the last 15 minutes of the dang thing because the people who sat back since day one watching what was being bid on have now decided to come out and outbid anyone who has bid on a horse they have been interested in bidding on. This can happen in a minute and you'll miss it if you're not on top of things. Laura checked her bid every 30 seconds. She was outbid. She rebid. She was outbid again, she moved forward.

    On and on this went until the last minute of the week-long auction and BAM!  She got her gelding! He was the 3rd I think that she was hoping for. He's wonderful. He's really very nice, and she is quite satisfied with the outcome.  He is from Nut Mountain up in Northern California/Nevada. He's 15H and 3 years old. He's a solid bay and mostly out of quarter horse and thoroughbred stock that has been loosed and running with the packs for  years.  So graceful. Worth the wait for sure.  She checked on the others she was bidding on as well; one went for over $1600 and one went for $1000 or just at.  She paid $125, which is the price of 1 bid.  In the past we've paid as little as $25 for a Mustang. The U.S. Government literally pays a Mustang purchaser $1000 in the first year if you keep it and protect it in a good pasture. You don't even have to train them to get that incentive, it's a strange but wonderful program. Laura will have her boy trained within 3 months of having him in her care.  When I bought Norman I just paid the money and took him home. Done.

    Waiting, waiting, waiting. None of us like it, but it can be worth it in the end. Sure, we can also be disappointed when the results come in; we can lose. We can be set aside, and we can say to ourselves "that was a big waste of time" and it may be.  We can also say to ourselves, "It will be fine either way, I hope for this outcome, but know I'll be OK with another outcome."  It's all in how we choose to look at it. For me, I would rather just walk up and get my food or make it at home. I would rather be told at the time of the interview if I'm the chosen one. I would rather walk up to the stable and buy the horse. I'm just not that patient of a person I guess - - but I am sure that the wait for Christ's return will be worth it. I'm just (obviously) not sure when that will happen - - I've been saying He's late for years. 

    Most of us survive the wait (even if we don't think we will). 

Photo Credit:  Me (Facebook) The horse photo from BLM

This is Aero, Laura's new boy.

A Hard Lesson For Us All.

 When God says "Do this" He literally means for us to do whatever it is that He has asked of us. We know He's not going to ask us to do something we can't do. He asked Moses to lead the Hebrews out of the hands of Pharaoh, and He provided a way. Moses didn't think he was much of a motivational speaker, but God provided the voice through which Moses commanded the release of the people. Likewise, when God says "No" to something, or "Don't do that", He means it. He's not going to change His mind about it down the road and/or make some excuse about the year being 2022, so we're all just supposed be inclusive, tolerant, and accepting of whatever sin it is that we fancy, but God really has already had a say. He said no. We need to remember, we are mere mortals - - He is God. End of discussion.

    One of the most interesting lessons I remember as a child was found in The book of Ecclesiastes. It talks about what happens when we humans think we're going to bargain with God and we make some ridiculous promise to Him, but for whatever reason we never follow through with it. What happens then? Well, according to the Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 when this happens, God will literally destroy our work!  Best we stop making promises we don't keep and especially those we had no intention to keep. We may have had all the best hopes for keeping the promise, (the vow) but if we don't do it, He's not going to not only not bless our work, but because of our dishonoring Him, He will destroy what we worked so hard to achieve. 

    That sounds and seems so harsh to us! We're all about getting those brownie points and trophies just for showing up now, aren't we? He doesn't work that way. He's an amazing loving and caring God, but He is just, and if we make a promise and we don't keep it, He lets us know straight away that we didn't do what we said we would do, so then what we achieved through Him and His mercy, He can and will simply take it away. We may end up regaining that status again, maybe when we realize how foolish we were, and the vow is kept; maybe when we pray and ask for it, but we don't attach a promise we can't fulfil, just allowing God to have the full glory, the honor, the praise.  We have too much to be grateful for to allow our own folly to stand in our way of being the best we can be.

    It's never easy to be reminded that we are sinners. It's never fun, nor does it bring us peace when we realize how we have fallen so short of what we thought we knew and what we thought we were doing correctly. It is through prayer, through meditation, through continued service and dedication that we realize just how short sometimes we fall from the mark we thought we were making! Here we are thinking how wonderful things are going, and how great things seem to be; our families are sorted, our careers are falling into place. We seem to be right up on top of it, when it all comes crashing down. The first thing we do is blame others, then we get around to thinking maybe it could have something to do with us. Do we ever think it has to do with our vows to God? I know I don't think that way, but it very well could be just that.

    When I hear people say "God wouldn't do that" I want to laugh. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be that way, but if you read the same Bible I'm reading you'll realize where the fire and brimstones come from that smashed Sodom and Gomorrah. I mean, yeah, it was likely an earthquake that caused a volcano, but who made that happen?  I can't think of another example right now, not off the top of my head, but I do know that there have been times when I made stupid promises to God asking Him to bless me, to do this or that for me, and I will do this or that in return. I have. I've done that. I've suffered for not having completed my duties! I went through YEARS of rebuilding and YEARS of frustration with jobs, housing, changes, and challenges. Finally, after hearing a sermon on this one topic, I realized it was me this entire time! We're good now! He's always been good, but now WE are good.

    Do yourself a favor. If you follow Jesus, and you call yourself His, then stop making silly promises and just thank Him. Just praise Him. Just walk with Him. Just do what He says, and ask questions, but stop making promises if you don't intend to do what you say -- it just makes life for everyone so so so much better. This way God doesn't have to put up with an idiot, and you'll not be proven to be so. It hurt. I'm not gonna lie about it. I was so wrong.  It feels so much better to know I'm on the path I should be, and even though I'm criticized by people who fall short and think it's me that's causing their problems, I know I'm tucked away in the everlasting arms. I'm not even going to worry about it. 

    I like another verse too: Psalms 37:4  "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."  That verse gets me through so much! It's still  in the Book, and it's not goin' anywhere.

Photo Credit:  Teepublic.com

Triggered! (American vs. British)

 As I watch several YouTubers and giggle (often laugh so much my coffee is in danger of coming through my nose) I have to ask a few blunt questions. Firstly, if I didn't ask the questions bluntly, my British friends would think less of me, and if I danced around the question even the slightest bit, I would be accused of becoming "one of them", which simply cannot happen. I am an American with Scottish blood. I will never consider myself Scottish, if for no other reason, that I don't ever want to be considered British. We had our say about that a few years back -- we won.

    My first question is: Why change the measurements now? You're on metric, right? Why change back to or go to Imperial measurements? No one really knows what they are, no one will use them for another 30-40 years, so is that the plan?  It's hilarious that we Americans have zero clues as to what the actual weight of an apple, watermelon, or cantaloupe may be, but we can be assured that a "stone" is 14 pounds according to our British friends. I'm joking, so if you don't know what a stone is it won't be funny, but trust me when I say it was funny.  Just laugh. We're good.

    Second question: Can we all agree that Brits don't know what a biscuit is? They call a cookie a biscuit, but then again, they call a biscuit a scone. We call scones scones and we call biscuits biscuits. We damn well know what a cookie is, and there's that whole mess about not knowing what these things are: eggplant, zucchini, cilantro, and gravy. Don't send a Brit to the store with a list. Just smile when they return and agree to make whatever you can from whatever they bring back to cook. It's easier that way. If you want to do something right, you should just do it yourself.

    My British friends stare at me when I suggest going for drive to either watch foliage change, or rather to see the changes in colors, or when I say something like "We can drive out a ways, away from the city, and see the stars better."  They just don't want to do something that may take them to a remote place. They say they go camping (they don't use that word "camping") and they say they like to go fishing, but we Americans are apt to hike a few miles from civilization before pitching a tent, whereas my Brits are wondering where the Inn is, and if they'll be able to get Wi-Fi in the woods. No, by the way, there isn't a decent restaurant serving oysters where we're going - - get in the car and shut up! (big smile)

    Don't clean your gun in front of one of your British colleagues either -- they tend to wonder if you're really all that upset to make a show of what it is you're about to do to them. They start looking for escape routes, and they back away rather quickly.  It's considered impolite in their posh-posh culture I suppose, but you may need to mind your manners when you drink a glass of milk at dinner in England, Wales or Scotland, I don't know about Ireland. They may have more cows there. They may realize that the white liquid stuff comes from the cows; white liquid stuff good! 

    Americans put too much sugar in our food, I get that, but at least we serve portions that actually fill a person up for supper rather than handing over a half sandwich, a small cup of soup, perhaps a dozen grapes and charge an arm and a leg for it!  I vowed never to eat out when I traveled to Scotland but there I was complaining every single time that the waitress couldn't be bothered to either sit us, return to see if we're doing OK, and when she brought us our meal we wanted to know why she split it between us. Did she think we didn't have appetites? At the "till" or the register she all but robbed us blind -- and since we are accustomed to tipping, we were actually rather bothered by the entire experience, like I said, swearing we'll not do it again - - until we did. 

    I'm absolutely certain that the words "tumble dryer" are swear words in the UK, no one uses those words in public or polite company.  If you go about a house you won't usually find a dryer, either electric or gas, and you won't find large enough refrigerators to even stuff a turkey in to freeze for Thanksgiving. It's not going to happen, but damn it, every last kitchen will have an electric kettle for tea! There will be no ice cubes to be found. There will be no dishwashers. There will be no garbage disposals, they don't even say "garbage". I think they'd call them "food disposals" and they would be more correct if they were to use that term, as we don't put garbage down our drains, now, do we?

    We say "trash" they say "bin".  We say "hello" and "good morning" and they run the other way, or pull their children closer and walk off quickly.  Was it something I said? Oh, that's it. I said something. We are just so used to other people asking questions or starting a conversation with us, but my Brits are NOT used to that, not accepting of it, and they are not the least bit interested in getting to know someone they don't already know, which begs the question of how would one get to know you if they don't speak to you, ask you questions, or start a conversation? I think they wait to be forced into it such as a working relationship, attending church together, or perhaps they meet on the tube (subway) and politely exchanges words when trying to out-nice each other. Could happen.

    Well, let me just say, I'm so happy to be home when I get home. I can pop in my car, drive a few blocks to the local ice cream store, get what I want and head home. I don't have to walk to the bus stop, wait on the bus, get on and fight for a seat, make it to the nearest stop near the shop, walk to the shop, eat the ice cream there because you can't take it back on the bus, and expect it to be solid when you get home. You have to ride the bus back, walk back to your flat or hotel, whatever, and then by that time you could have had a party with a dozen friends and ended up playing darts! I don't know, I think my point is that we're rather spoiled in America. We like our conveniences. We like our routines. We like our toilets being in our bathrooms, not opening a random closet and finding one. This sort of thing triggers me and causes me to have nightmares about not being able to find a toilet when I need one.

    Don't get me started on community gardens. They aren't gardens anyway. They are tiny backyards. I've never seen so many hedges being used as a fence line. Dogs can run in and out of that you know. When I'm abroad I am constantly reminded that I have an accent. Of course I have an accent, I'm from Oklahoma! We speak funny, but we at least say things like "Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me" and my all time favorite "Bless your heart". I end up saying that so much when I'm in the UK...if you know you know. One thing the Brits and Americans both do is put on the fake smile and pretend everything is OK. I find that it makes for an easier few minutes until I can make some excuse to leave whatever situation I found myself in that requires an excuse to leave. SMILE.  (at least in Scotland you get eye contact!)

    It's all good. I'll keep going overseas. I'll continue to find reasons to visit my beloved Scotland. I'll find reasons to hop a train and go to England. I'll make up some excuse to make the trips, but when I come home - - OH....I swear I won't do  it again, until I do.

Photo Credit: Lingualearnenglish.com

    

A Bit About Me.

 It is not the least bit uncommon, rare, or otherwise unusual for someone to say something to me about myself. Usually they are either pointing their finger, screaming, or even slightly muffling their voice so as to not make a scene when they say it -- quite the impression; perhaps I should be concerned. I am not.

    EARLY on in my life, I became quite aware that I was in fact not the same as others. My mother had a bear of a time wrangling me, and only a bit of trouble gathering the other three children she had, all of which were older than I am.  I was just not willing to come into the house just because the lamp on the corner light post was blaring. That's not a reason to come in, it wasn't for me anyway. The whippings I received for disobeying my mom could have been a clue for me, but no, they were just the result of my behavior. They didn't change anything about my personality. I will admit that there were times I climbed over the back fence, and pretended to have been home for a good long while before she came back into the front door frustrated that she couldn't find me. There's that.

    It wasn't my choice, but around the age of five, about the time one goes into Kindergarten here in the States, I was tested at the university level for a study being researched at the University of Oklahoma! What a big and glorious place! I was allowed on campus, I was given full attention by many, I was asked questions, I got to play games. It was an amazing time - - for a few years, but after I was about 10 or 12 I really thought this needs to stop. I was annoyed by it, I didn't want to do it, and yet there I was being forced now to continue the process. This went on until I was 18 and put an end to it.

    The result of the testing was never given to me, I suppose they were thinking they could keep all that wonderful information to themselves. They had to have shared some points with mom and dad because I certainly remember mom saying "You're not like the rest, so just be nice, and don't tell them how smart you are."  That was a clue.  Anytime someone gives me a clue, drops a bit of a nugget of intrigue,  or says something that can send my mind into search and research mode, I love it.  When I was about 24 I think, I demanded of the university chancellors what the results of my testing was, and why the evaluations in the first place. Wouldn't you know it, they said it was because I exhibited a higher than normal intelligence as a mere child and they wanted to possibly give me an opportunity to become a subject matter which would or could end up with not only a full scholarship for me, but also lead me into other studies of the brain (intellect).  Keep in mind, being smart doesn't always mean I have common sense.

    My parents didn't want this, or they didn't know how to handle this, so it was dropped when I put a stop to it. Not one of them explained it to me at that time. I may have said "HECK YEAH, I'll go to college for free!! I'd love that."  No, I was just released from the program and there you go. What I thought was pretty funny about the testing is that one point of the higher intelligence and wildly free thinking patterns that my brain exhibited was based on my like (love) for black licorice. Seriously? Is that a thing?  Well, years and years later they have come out with another study for those of us who are black licorice fans, and it revealed that we are carefree and wild spirited people. Here is what they said. I'll put in a link: 

"Conversely, fans of black licorice consider themselves more 'wild and crazy' when compared to those who prefer red. They like spontaneity and enjoy the thrill of adventure. They're more likely to be outspoken, freely share their opinions with others, and often feel as though they're going a million miles an hour." www.licoriceinternational.com

    At age 17 I graduated a year early from high school, and I did finish all of my degree courses, the Bachelors, Masters, and Ph.D. in good time with successful marks. I'm proud of my academic achievements and if having a craving or two for savory salty tar-rubber now and again can be credited, I'm OK with that. I don't like sugar in my tea, I put way too many pickles on my burgers, and also love reptiles, which  is something a lot of free spirited and outspoken people also like. So there's that too, I suppose. Couple that with the fact I was born on 11-22 in a year that you can turn the numbers upside down and they are still the same (1961) and you have a Scorpio kid, born in the year of the Ox, stubborn as the day is long, and she'll argue with Santa until they come to an agreement on what will be delivered, when it will be delivered, how it will be delivered, and so forth. He got it right every single year! Bless his heart! NO WONDER I believed! (I still believe)

    If I am anything out of the ordinary it is that I am unmoved by being called "Out of the Ordinary" and I really don't give a rat's backside if someone isn't all that happy about me, my personality, my ways, my means, or my results. I don't breathe through their lungs, and I don't see through their eyes. My heart and my soul belong to Jesus, and in the very very real sense of the word, He is my Savior. He is the ONLY one I really care about pleasing - - and my dog. I do feel the need to be kind to my dog. As for the rest of the world - - yes, friend, that includes you Tex; I am who I am, and I will never be anyone else. I may come across as arrogant, but the truth of it is I am confident. I know who I am, and I like me. If I had anything against myself it would be that I need to lose a bit of weight and try to see things through or from the point of view of others before doing what is EXACTLY NEEDED for them. Some people can be so lost that when you hand them the answers they swat the hand that gives it to them. I could be more empathic -- then again, if I was, I may not have the inner strength I have to give you what you need - - it's a trade off.

    I have never had a dog in my life that didn't love the stuffings out of me. I have never owned a horse that hated me. I have never had a reptile that once wanted to be with someone else. This leads me to think that humans have issues, but animals do not. My friends curse and swear at me all the time, but we get back into the car and go shopping or traveling, or just to the park to play. They aren't always pleased with me, but they love me and know I would literally die for them either because I was fighting for them, or because I tackled them before a car could strike them. I lead by example and by quick decision making that has always been a great method; it works. It's not always appreciated, but it works. 

    One more thing about me, and then I'll let you get back to whatever it was that you were doing. I am loyal to the day I die, or the day you die. I give my all, and I expect the same. I will never ask you anything that I won't first answer. I never seek to harm, but always to help. It may seem that I am invasive and I may be, but it is to further protect, guide, lead, and assist, never to take advantage of someone. I was not only raised that way, but it is the way of my Savior - - He really does hold me back at times. If for no other reason than that, you should thank Him.  I say it all the time; "I am the only me I could ever be."

(Tell the truth Tex, when you saw your name and that I gave a damn, you smiled inside.)

Photo Credit: Unknown

Defamation of Character Suit A La Carte Please

 With the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trials for both defamation of character and what Heard is calling a "smear campaign" for her side of it, the two of them have racked up more than $10,000,000.oo in legal fees thus far and the thing is, the jury could come back and slap both of them on the wrists with "Don't do that again" verdicts, and they'd owe another $1,000,000.00 or so in clean up issues no doubt.  If one or the other of them comes out smelling less than a wet dog in this whole mess, I'll be surprised. I won't say "I'll eat my hat" because court cases going to a jury can end up topsy-turvy! More jurors than not probably favor Johnny over Amber; it would be difficult to name more than one film she's been in, and the only reason we know she was in it is that they mentioned it a few times in the trial.  It's just a hot mess.

    Before someone can even BEGIN to think about bringing a movement of the Court such as a lawsuit for defamation of character, there will always be the initial interviews of the one(s) bringing the case, and that can take weeks. Weeks as in billable hours, and the average lawyer in the United States working that sort of law would be upward of $400 per hour. The average in the UK (just in case anyone in the UK is thinking of bringing a suit) would be the equivalent to that amount, but if you expect to bring an international suit, well, that's another penny or two. The average international lawyer would charge upward of $1000 per hour if they had a case to bring.

    In order for there to be an actual reason to move the Court, there would have to be an established ground(s) for the motion or initial Petition.  Before there could be a Petition filed, the side of the bringing party would no doubt check the evidence that was being presented to the office; maybe blogs, emails, correspondence, or recordings in which another party was defaming the party bringing the suit. There would need to be definite detail and sufficient damages from said evidence. You can't bring a proper suit with hearsay, innuendo, opinion, questions to someone, maybe statements that were not posted publicly, but perhaps asked in private chats or direct messages. You see, there is no damage when someone is merely asking a question even if the question seems ugly or unwarranted. Lets says someone thinks you may have a different lifestyle, or they ask you or someone else if you are dating someone else other than your spouse. You can't call that defamation. They asked a question.

    The defaming part must be PROVEN and it must be MALICE before it can be considered for suit. I mean, no lawyer would accept a case he/she couldn't receive payment for, and if the person you're trying to sue is just as poor as you are, and you're not even able to pay for 10 initial hours of work, then you may not have a pot to piss in, as they say. You may not stand, you may not be granted your day in court. You may just have to realize that defamation literally means you lost fame over the matter, and you lost money or work, or maybe you were running for president and you lost votes.  You could sue because you were mentally "damaged" or hurt (stressed) by the words of some "cheeky toxic" person. You can't expect to get punitive damages if there were no actual damages to begin with.

    Let's say you manage to get the lawsuit off the ground, you paid the initial 10 hours of initial work, and you're off to the races! You're going to sue someone! Congratulations, you just got yourself a one-way ticket to a deposition where you have to prove you weren't crazy or in need of mental healthcare PRIOR to the suit. If you spent say even one week in a mental ward for stress related illness PRIOR to the defamation suit, you will not be able to prove the difference between your diagnosis before and your current diagnosis. God forbid the other side asks the Court for another evaluation, and they drag up all the many times and months (years) someone has actually sought help for stress, drugs, drink, anger, abuse, and/or suicide. Did what they say REALLY cause MORE damage? How do you prove that?

    Before your side of the aisle can even depose the other side you'll be deposed by their side. Your friends, family, doctors, arresting officers (if you've been arrested for public intoxication or violence) will be deposed. Can you imagine if you wrote or responded to someone and said something opposing the claim or question they asked, but it was PROVEN in COURT or in depo that you are in fact exactly as they questioned or posed? Perjury is a real thing. Sworn testimony is a real oath. The penalty for perjury is severe and it often comes with not only a fine, but imprisonment. I know I would always tell the truth. I won't go to jail for anyone; I won't lie and say I'm this or that to save face. I will willingly and voluntarily speak the full truth under oath. Some of the first questions would certainly be about your history in order to establish their innocence of your claim. Something to think about. It is then PUBLIC RECORD at that point.

    Depp and Heard have money. I don't have money to spend on silly suits. I would never bring a suit against another person who didn't own $$$$ in stocks, houses, real estate, royalty equity, or maybe had a hidden stash of gold somewhere. An attorney worth his/her salt won't file a suit if they can't retrieve a great reward for it - - you're spinning your wheels. They'll take your first 10 hours and tell you how sorry they are for not bringing the case.  You're stuck. You're mad. You're just as UNDEFAMED as you were to begin with, and now you've got less money. Yeah, it's not a good thing, but hey, people think they've been slandered and they want something for it - - here's a thought. Don't fly your kite without knowing if you can handle the wind! It can take a nasty turn at any second and come crashing all around you. Best to know who and what you are so no one calling you names or asking questions can insult you or upset you - - you know the Truth and that Truth is all you need.

    Law is my first love. When I graduated college at Oklahoma City University, home of one of the best premier Law Schools in the Southwest of America, I had a full ride to the school.  My grades were 3.75 GPA, I was an honors member in Alpha Sigma Lambda, I graduated Cum Laude, and was really excited to start the whole process. I was a paralegal for an investigatory attorney's office. I'd been there 100 years I think, it was my turn to take over when the lead attorney retired.  The problem with the plan was that the judge in my divorce case decided I could have the kids or enroll in Law School. She can't do that, but she did. I chose the kids.  I've remained an investigator and an educator. I work both ends of the candle and have recently been interviewed for a position at at top notice legal firm as a Securities Investment Paralegal where I'll use my keen skills of tracing and tracking to find fraudulent sellers and buyers on the FOREX and the Stock Exchange. Oh...I am too excited about that.

    I think my point to this blog is simple.  We all get upset when we're called names, or if questions are asked about our personal character. However, it doesn't meet the standard or rise to the level of needing to be remedied by the Court. Somethings you just walk away from, you discuss civilly, or you choose to ignore them altogether. Let it go - - it isn't worth the stress and if you're trying to say you want to be less stressed - - remember that causing stress is just as real as having it handed to you. You decide.

Photo Credit:  UT.EDU  Alpha Sigma Lambda 

Mom Mode.

 Once a mom, always a mom. I guess you can say the same about a dad, but there are just so many more cases when a child is made fatherless by the choice of a parent than the other way around. At least that is the experience I have both as a person who has been through a extreme divorce, and a person who taught many hundreds of children who have been through the divorce and separation of family as well.  When I was divorced and going through a child custody Battle Royale, my ex was able to convince the judge that I was a maniac and that I had mental illness.  I think he used my raging hate and distain for him as a backdrop for his evidence. Could have been the fact that I not only threatened him with the business end of my Remington, but I learned to box as a younger sister and I let the man have it to the point of finding himself face down a few times either on the carpet or the concrete.  You just don't piss off a Southern mama. (FYI, I still box, and I'm just as good with my left as I am my right.)

    Whatever the reason, the stupid and inexperienced judge took my custodial rights away from me, claiming I was a potential hazard to my kids. Asshat! The thing is, as a Southern mama, I was protecting my kids to the point of death, and that's something that the Yankee-born judge wasn't familiar with. I suppose there are more subtle and gentle ways for a woman to show her methods of protection, but for me it was "come near here again, and you'll face Jesus!"  Looking back, I don't regret a thing I said, nor a thing I did. The kids ended up with me in due time, and having suffered at the hands of a truly mentally ill parent, they were grateful to be in the capable hands of a mad old wet hen!

    The judge decided that day, the day she took away my rights, to have both myself and my ex tested on a very professional clinical level so she could make a permanent decision for the custody of said children. She had us both subjected to a $1500.00 (fifteen hundred dollar) test, that took over four (4) hours to complete. By the time I got to through 10 minutes I was already bitching about the fact that the test seemed to be asking me the same questions over and over again and they weren't even clever enough to dress up the way they asked the question. It was quite literally the same question verbatim! I think it was designed to see how we would react after the 11th time to be asked. Bottom line, the results of the test proved that I am an E.N.T.J. (Myers Briggs) and he is something else, I can't remember, and I really don't care. My E.N.T.J. attitude and personality was all she needed to see to make a determination that I wasn't necessarily crazy, but I was blunt, forceful, honest, truthful, determined, dedicated, committed, and commanding. I was argumentative, I was demanding, I was insistent and I was expectant!  She gave me the kids with an official apology from the Court.

    Today, my 33 year old daughter was at the local Tag Agency getting her license renewed. Mind you it was to expire on Tuesday and this is the Friday before that. She had to be wrangled to go, and I had to literally driver her there to be sure she did it. That one can procrastinate and  it ends up costing her fees and penalties. I didn't want her to have to go to the DMV to wait in line and prove she is an American if she didn't get the damn thing renewed today!  

    We get to the agency and she's being questioned by two men who were fighting to speak to her. (She's cute, and she' looks 18.) Both men were in their early to late 20's and they were going over her application and checking out her address and noticing that she didn't have an apartment number but the records show she did.  She confirmed she did, and one wanted to know if she lived alone! WHAT THE HELL?  She was about to answer, Laura's like that, she just answers, but before she could get a word out of her mouth Mama clicked! I click. I use my tongue and I make a clicking noise. It's how I train horses, and for over 36 years now, it's how I get the attention of my kids.

    When Laura looked back I ran my hand across my throat to gesture not to answer the question. She smiled and said "I live with my brother. He's in the Army."  What an answer!  I would have said, "I live with Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson", but OK, that works. The next guy wanted to know if she had horses since she had a horse on her phone case. She answered. He wanted to know more. She answered. He asked if he could come ride with her. I laughed. She laughed. We both just laughed. Why do people think it's OK to ride someone else's horse?  NO...you can not ride my horse, he'll throw your ass before you sit down on him. He's a bit of a brat!  She smiled politely and asked him if he had ever ridden. The answer is always the same. They rode in camp when they were 10.

    Anyway, the flirting went on and on, with Laura being far too sweet to stop either of them, but I could tell she wanted to be saved.  I looked up and said something like "Are you almost finished sweetheart we need to get you back to the center for treatment."  She turned and looked them in the eyes and in her best A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) voice began her goodbyes.  Laura is a talented voice actor as well as a gifted horse trainer.  It was just hilarious to see them back away from the counter at the same time as she took her new license (papers, they don't really give you a license now, they mail that.)  She looked at me as we walked away and said "Thanks, Mom. I don't like to be rude."  Well, I have never really had a problem with it.  

Photo Credit: Presbymom

Unraveling the Tapestry

 It's going to take me a minute to actually eat the Everything bagel with both lemon curd and butter. I made it for myself, along with cheesy eggs and a load of bacon. The thing is, it's well after 1:00 p.m. and this is the third day in a row that I haven't eaten anything for breakfast, nor have I felt even the least bit hungry enough to make myself consume a lunch.   I've been rather preoccupied with thoughts the past few days and it's been difficult to focus on my personal health. I think I'm OK. Adrenaline is kicking in, and when it wanes I do fill up with carbs for fuel. Not a good diet plan really, but it's working for now. It will stabilize, I will be OK. 

    One of the great things about the friends I have is that I can call one or two of them up and make a suggestion such as "Hey, wanna go to Vegas?" and at least one will agree to take off work on an instant notice to oblige me. It's really been wonderful being able to surround myself with spontaneous people who think like I do. We need a break. Take a break! We need beaches! Go to Hawaii. We need handsome men without the obligation - - Vegas. You pay to watch, you walk away.  

    I'm in the middle of purposely loosening the strings of a woven time, and it's not easy to do. I was there one minute saying a simple prayer, then the next I was being led by God to pray more, and to pray deeper. Over time that prayer life led to knowledge and information about the person I as praying for, and naturally because I did care, I wanted to help. They say it all the time, "No good deed goes unpunished" and that is exactly how I feel today. It's just going to take a minute to pull out the golden threads that hold the tapestry together -- it will take a minute to disengage my soul and my spirit from what I was accustomed to doing on a daily basis; prayer for a would-be, could-be friend.  Time heals and I know I'll be OK. I actually wondered if he would be OK then I remembered to pull that string too, and let it fall. I can't concern myself with it. It hurts.

    Maybe we won't go to Vegas or Hawaii.  Maybe we girls need to think outside the box.  One friend is German, the next is Greekian (our word) I'm of Scottish blood, maybe something neutral like the cliffs of Eastern Spain! Maybe that would settle our souls -- I hear it's lovely this time of year.  Probably not. We'll probably settle for North Carolina if we want mountains and beaches. We can go to one in particular that has wild Mustangs roaming the beaches. Humans are forbidden to approach, but if the animals approach, that's another story. I think there's a lesson in that actually. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to approach this particular wild animal -- maybe just observing and praying would have been a better way to reach his trust. I learned. I got kicked. I will survive. 

    Knowing what I know about taming and training Mustangs, I can actually put a few of the more reasonable thoughts together now, and I can see where I overstepped. I understand that my voice and my commanding nature would have been taken as a threat rather than a means of trying to rescue from the inevitable harm that I could see was encroaching on this man. Whatever the vision I saw and knew, he was still wild and untamed, unwilling to participate in his own recovery where I was concerned. I wasn't the flower he needed in his garden, and he was not mine to rescue. Observation and prayer would have been a better method in deed. He's tangled himself in the thicket again, and he's become caught in the rattle of life -- I can't do more now than hope.

    I once watched a video of how the 12th and 13th Century tapestries were made. When I was in my young 20's I had a friend whose family was incredibly rich, and come to think of it, she too was from another country. She was Italian.  Her grandfather had purchased a 13th Century tapestry at an estate sale in the 1930s and he had had it cleaned and then shipped to America.  It hung in my friend's house for decades. When a fire broke out in the kitchen of the house and spread to the hall, the family was asleep and barely escaped being killed by smoke.  The end result was the tapestry was caught on fire, but only a corner of it really - - it took over two years and $225,000.00 to restore it. In order to do that, the master craftsman that was literally flown in by the family, had to unravel the weave and reweave. He needed to restore it to the original status or try even to leave it in a better condition.

    Naturally, the original status of the dosser was compromised; it would never be the same. I learned so much one afternoon as the craftsman allowed me to watch as he unraveled it. I never saw him restore it. I just remember the care and the delicate means by which he removed each thread.  As he removed the threads he considered their damage. He considered which ones he could use again, and he made decisions about the way it was affected by the fire. Isn't Christ a little like that? He doesn't destroy the person we were before we accepted Him, but he unravels the bad and restores our lives with His good, and His grace, and  His mercy. We are new. We are not the same. We are changed forever, but we still have enough of what makes us "us" to be who we are.

    Bottom line? I can let go. I've been asked to step back. I've been bitten by the pony I wanted to save. It's OK, I will be fine, and the pony will eventually find his way either to a better place or to a place he can call his own. Some flowers are meant to be seen and some are meant to be appreciated at a distance.

    

 Photo Credit: Quality Tapestries. (This is not the one hanging in my friend's hallway)

    

    

Legal Action.

 Let's talk about Legal Action for a minute. People like to throw out threats about pursuing "legal action" when they feel threatened, stepped on, or maybe just guilty about whatever it is that they were caught doing and they don't want the world to know.  Wouldn't it be best to just have a chat with the person who has upset you and ask them to stop rather than to threaten something you have NO IDEA what you would be getting yourself into? Not to mention cost.  The cost of a lawsuit (especially an international lawsuit) would all but devastate a person's savings - - if they had a savings. When people are literally living off the pennies given to them they really need to consider using language less offensive than "I'll be pursuing legal action".  It may just be a bit of wholesome and healthy advice, but worthy of taking.

    Legal action involves so many things; cause is the main thing necessary. There must be cause or grounds for such movement of the Court.  In Johnny Depp's case he had reason to believe he was being defamed by his then longstanding girlfriend, but then again, Depp has deep deep pockets, and the fame that the trial has brought him over the past six weeks is enormous! You can't really buy that type of publicity!  It works out for people like Johnny Depp; but that's such an anomaly!  We, the average, who don't really have much to gain or lose by moving the Court one way or the other should probably stick to something simply like, oh, I don't know, music, writing, blogging, singing, soaking in the sun with our friends. Let bygones be just that -- gone.

    Three of my favorite "legal" words are: Discovery, Deposition, and Interrogatories.  I remember the first time I had to type the word "interrogatory" on a pleading.  Geez, has it really be nearly 30 years since I've been in the investigatory and/or legal fields of both insurance and corporate law? I guess it has been. Who knew? Years fly by when you're digging up things and learning what you can either for personal knowledge or because you're paid to do it.  The word "Discovery" is just that; it discovers literally EVERY LITTLE THING about a person, a place, a thing, the nature of, the underlying cause for the bringing of the cause. How do we discover? We use my 2nd and 3rd favorite words "Deposition" and "Interrogatories".  

    First, a deposition is something charged with questions and follow up questions, questions that may or may not have something to do with the case in genuine. A lawyer can literally ask anything whatsoever as long as he/she can justify to the Court the reasoning behind the asking, and that reasoning can be as flimsy as paper! It can be something like "I thought it may lead to discovery" or it could be "we think it is relevant to the case" (even if it may not be so relevant, it can stop a case in its tracks when the right buttons are pushed and the one being deposed chooses not to continue in the mandated discovery.) Interrogatories are questions too, but they are written out, asked and expected to be answered in a certain amount of time. If they are answered they may trigger the need for a deposition and that/those deposition(s) could be very very interesting in deed. A lawyer may choose to depose the one bringing the case, and he/she may decide to depose one's family members, former spouses, ex-lovers, mothers, fathers, you just never know. At least being married would save a man from having his wife give testimony -- that is, in America. I don't know about the rest of the world.

    Legal Action is not something to be taken lightly by either side. Best to settle before attempting the first movement or motion. Best to mediate if possible.  Best to get on with one's walk than to trip over the rocks he/she has set out in front of their own path. PUBLIC POSTING is just that, PUBLIC. Anything written or said (or sang) on the internet is for the WORLD WIDE WEB and subject to being seen, heard, used, criticized, speculated about, and shared - - often shared without permission. Oh, and that's another thing; permission isn't as cut and dry as one may think. There are local laws, state laws, national laws, international laws. Geez....best to just play it safe and accept that when you put something out there it is in fact out there. You can't get all huffy about it when it slaps you in the face or if you weren't expecting it to be exposed.  That's called "life" - - it's not always pretty.

    One of the best things about Legal Action is that it is a two edged sword. The sword cuts both ways, and exposes both ways. If there is a suit, there can be a counter suit in order to pay the fees, but in doing that of course there are in fact more fees.  Best to just live your life in such a way that no one can say anything about you that you haven't posted yourself. That way, if someone REALLY defames you, you have a leg to stand on  and you can move the Court through Legal Action. Best you realize that biting off more than you can chew is not always wise - - keep it simple. Maybe take guitar lessons or take a dip in the rustic waters of a foreign country! Live a little, and stop worrying so much about what others think.  We're not on this Earth long enough to really form an opinion that matters anyway.

    This has been a public service announcement for anyone who is silly enough to think that Legal Action is the equivalent to "Please stop, thank you".  Civility is king and it can be queen too.

in·ter·rog·a·to·ry

/ˌin(t)əˈräɡəˌtôrē/

adjective

• 1.conveying the force of a question; questioning:"the guard moves away with an interrogatory stare"

noun

• 1.a written question which is formally put to one party in a case by another party and which must be answered.

Photo Credit:  www.stuff.co.nz