It is not the least bit uncommon, rare, or otherwise unusual for someone to say something to me about myself. Usually they are either pointing their finger, screaming, or even slightly muffling their voice so as to not make a scene when they say it -- quite the impression; perhaps I should be concerned. I am not.
EARLY on in my life, I became quite aware that I was in fact not the same as others. My mother had a bear of a time wrangling me, and only a bit of trouble gathering the other three children she had, all of which were older than I am. I was just not willing to come into the house just because the lamp on the corner light post was blaring. That's not a reason to come in, it wasn't for me anyway. The whippings I received for disobeying my mom could have been a clue for me, but no, they were just the result of my behavior. They didn't change anything about my personality. I will admit that there were times I climbed over the back fence, and pretended to have been home for a good long while before she came back into the front door frustrated that she couldn't find me. There's that.
It wasn't my choice, but around the age of five, about the time one goes into Kindergarten here in the States, I was tested at the university level for a study being researched at the University of Oklahoma! What a big and glorious place! I was allowed on campus, I was given full attention by many, I was asked questions, I got to play games. It was an amazing time - - for a few years, but after I was about 10 or 12 I really thought this needs to stop. I was annoyed by it, I didn't want to do it, and yet there I was being forced now to continue the process. This went on until I was 18 and put an end to it.
The result of the testing was never given to me, I suppose they were thinking they could keep all that wonderful information to themselves. They had to have shared some points with mom and dad because I certainly remember mom saying "You're not like the rest, so just be nice, and don't tell them how smart you are." That was a clue. Anytime someone gives me a clue, drops a bit of a nugget of intrigue, or says something that can send my mind into search and research mode, I love it. When I was about 24 I think, I demanded of the university chancellors what the results of my testing was, and why the evaluations in the first place. Wouldn't you know it, they said it was because I exhibited a higher than normal intelligence as a mere child and they wanted to possibly give me an opportunity to become a subject matter which would or could end up with not only a full scholarship for me, but also lead me into other studies of the brain (intellect). Keep in mind, being smart doesn't always mean I have common sense.
My parents didn't want this, or they didn't know how to handle this, so it was dropped when I put a stop to it. Not one of them explained it to me at that time. I may have said "HECK YEAH, I'll go to college for free!! I'd love that." No, I was just released from the program and there you go. What I thought was pretty funny about the testing is that one point of the higher intelligence and wildly free thinking patterns that my brain exhibited was based on my like (love) for black licorice. Seriously? Is that a thing? Well, years and years later they have come out with another study for those of us who are black licorice fans, and it revealed that we are carefree and wild spirited people. Here is what they said. I'll put in a link:
"Conversely, fans of black licorice consider themselves more 'wild and crazy' when compared to those who prefer red. They like spontaneity and enjoy the thrill of adventure. They're more likely to be outspoken, freely share their opinions with others, and often feel as though they're going a million miles an hour." www.licoriceinternational.com
At age 17 I graduated a year early from high school, and I did finish all of my degree courses, the Bachelors, Masters, and Ph.D. in good time with successful marks. I'm proud of my academic achievements and if having a craving or two for savory salty tar-rubber now and again can be credited, I'm OK with that. I don't like sugar in my tea, I put way too many pickles on my burgers, and also love reptiles, which is something a lot of free spirited and outspoken people also like. So there's that too, I suppose. Couple that with the fact I was born on 11-22 in a year that you can turn the numbers upside down and they are still the same (1961) and you have a Scorpio kid, born in the year of the Ox, stubborn as the day is long, and she'll argue with Santa until they come to an agreement on what will be delivered, when it will be delivered, how it will be delivered, and so forth. He got it right every single year! Bless his heart! NO WONDER I believed! (I still believe)
If I am anything out of the ordinary it is that I am unmoved by being called "Out of the Ordinary" and I really don't give a rat's backside if someone isn't all that happy about me, my personality, my ways, my means, or my results. I don't breathe through their lungs, and I don't see through their eyes. My heart and my soul belong to Jesus, and in the very very real sense of the word, He is my Savior. He is the ONLY one I really care about pleasing - - and my dog. I do feel the need to be kind to my dog. As for the rest of the world - - yes, friend, that includes you Tex; I am who I am, and I will never be anyone else. I may come across as arrogant, but the truth of it is I am confident. I know who I am, and I like me. If I had anything against myself it would be that I need to lose a bit of weight and try to see things through or from the point of view of others before doing what is EXACTLY NEEDED for them. Some people can be so lost that when you hand them the answers they swat the hand that gives it to them. I could be more empathic -- then again, if I was, I may not have the inner strength I have to give you what you need - - it's a trade off.
I have never had a dog in my life that didn't love the stuffings out of me. I have never owned a horse that hated me. I have never had a reptile that once wanted to be with someone else. This leads me to think that humans have issues, but animals do not. My friends curse and swear at me all the time, but we get back into the car and go shopping or traveling, or just to the park to play. They aren't always pleased with me, but they love me and know I would literally die for them either because I was fighting for them, or because I tackled them before a car could strike them. I lead by example and by quick decision making that has always been a great method; it works. It's not always appreciated, but it works.
One more thing about me, and then I'll let you get back to whatever it was that you were doing. I am loyal to the day I die, or the day you die. I give my all, and I expect the same. I will never ask you anything that I won't first answer. I never seek to harm, but always to help. It may seem that I am invasive and I may be, but it is to further protect, guide, lead, and assist, never to take advantage of someone. I was not only raised that way, but it is the way of my Savior - - He really does hold me back at times. If for no other reason than that, you should thank Him. I say it all the time; "I am the only me I could ever be."
(Tell the truth Tex, when you saw your name and that I gave a damn, you smiled inside.)
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