Too Cold to Snow?

They say if you don't like the weather in Oklahoma you can wait a minute, it will change. That statement isn't entirely false, nor is it entirely true. I've lived here for most of my life, and yes, it's predictably unpredictable, but it may take up to a full 15 minutes to make any real changes that can be seen, felt, or assumed.  Keep that in mind if you're planning on visiting.

    Like most places around the world, Oklahoma has four distinct seasons. We have hot, cold, storm, and football seasons. We're right up there with Texas in terms of the classic challenges that Nature can spring on us; and where we're gonna complain, and usually rather loudly, we're also quite familiar and comfortable with the way we're all subjected to the elements. We'll complain far more, far louder, and far more often about a loss to Texas than we will about the sweltering heat or the unexpected drop in temperature that can leave a person stranded at the fishing hole wearing shorts and flip-flops. I mean sure, the weatherman said it was gonna happen, but no one really believes them when they say things like "Winter Vortex" over the next 16 hours. We gotta start paying more attention.  They actually have better equipment now and can pretty much pinpoint that stuff. 

    Today was no exception.  Though we were told that the winter jet stream was comin' we just kept right on shopping, dining, eating, moseying, and working like we had all the time in the world to run by the store and pick up those needed items for when you're snowed in for six days. Who am I kidding? When was the last time anyone in Oklahoma was snowed in for over three days? We have over 280 days of sunshine in the Sooner State, and most of the time if it snows one day it also shines and we have wet grass and icy streets for another two days. Dogs don't like it. We don't like it much either.  Today we didn't get our promised snow! The dang weatherman said it was "Too cold to snow" and that really just goes right through me. That makes so little sense -- until you think about it.

    Unless others, Oklahoma has the privilege of housing, hosting, and/or having the world's renowned weather know-it-allers N.O.A.A., which stands for National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association.  Ha! That makes me giggle just a little, because the nearest ocean to Norman, Oklahoma is really the Gulf Coast, and it would take half a day to drive it - - best time, 9 hours! Just crazy if you ask me, but we have more atmospheric events than most, so OK, again, if you think about it, it makes more sense.  People come from every nation on this Earth to visit N.O.A.A., and by every nation, I mean they come from literally everywhere and then they take photos of themselves in Norman, Oklahoma on the great campus of the University of Oklahoma, where N.O.A.A. is, and they post those selfies proclaiming just how awesome it is!!  (Except today, no one is really posting much, it's too cold  to breathe outside, so yeah, no posting is happening today.)

    I woke up this morning thinking how stupid I was for going into work on a blistering blowing frozen morning. Our normal temperature was six (6) degrees Fahrenheit, but the 30-mile-an-hour wind kept the windchill around -20 to -24 degrees Fahrenheit. So, yeah, why was I facing these elements to drive to work? Because I'm employed? Yeah, that's it. I'm employed!! My car had other plans, however, and he decided to say no. No. That was basically what he was saying to me as I cranked the key - - no.  I called AAA Roadside but they told me I would be way way down the list as I had a warm shelter and I wasn't a priority. I get that. I do. My neighbor was wanting to test out his engine jumping skills, so he volunteered to assist! OK...sure, let's stand around and die while we .... OK, it worked. Thanks!

    I went to work, and through most of the day, most of us who were silly enough or brave enough to fight the frost stared outside the windows from the lofty 21st floor of our highrise building, where we could see any and all traffic troubles that were caused as the flurries turned to dry crystalized sleet stuff, blowing harder and making little drifty things along the edges of the road. No snow. Still too cold to do that. I was actually pretty happy about that fact once I made it to work. I would have hated to drive home in that stuff. It's better just to look at it from the crow's nest. I don't want to actually have to engage in physical activity in it at -20 degrees! No thank you.

    My friends in Indianapolis are writing to me this evening, telling me that they have a positive for a White Christmas this year. They expect between six and eight inches of snow today, tomorrow, and even Christmas Eve. They can keep it. They have a real Autumn there, something I dearly remember with fondness, but alas, they don't have the ever-important Football Season up that way. They have that round ball, it's sort of orange. Where they have storms, they don't really know how to gauge a twister. We do. We stand around outside watching it right up until it can be smelt pretty good, then we duck into the closet and pray. Prayer has always been a really intricate part of Storm Season. I mean, yeah, we pray a lot during Football Season too, but it's not the same. We're begging for action then. During Storm Season we're praying that the action stops. God controls both.

    Winter is a funny thing here in the land of sweepin' winds. We can have a bitterly cold day followed by a balmy frozen day, followed by a heatwave that can catch you off guard at the local BBQ joint wearing flannel when a tank top would have been a better choice - - bring both.  If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma you can wait a minute, but if you don't like the BBQ....you can leave.

Photo Credit: GoFatherhood.com