I mean really!! If the good people at Kindle want to give me free books by the boatload, I am more than (MORE THAN) happy to accept this fine giftery and take just about everything I can from authors who have been dead for more than 200 years or just authors who fancy to give their words away. It's sort of a rule, or maybe it's policy, I don't know. I don't argue about things like that. I just went to the Kindle store and typed in "free books Sir Arthur Conan Doyle" and there were so so so so so so many!! I downloaded just about every one of them. I did not download the foreign language editions unless they were written in Scots. I did download a few books written in Scots and/or Scots Gaelic. I can't be happier.
It is not just books by Doyle, no, it is books by a lot of people. I just can't stop myself. I may have to buy and register an entirely new Kindle if I go over 4000 books. I mean, I shouldn't actually do that. I know it would be dumb, but this is what Heaven looks like on Earth. Now, if I were actually in Scotland, say in the Meadows, under a Maple tree, reading some steamy Gothic romance that takes place in the 17th Century Highlands with you know...him...well, yes, I would be in Paradise right here on this Earth. I don't care if they're trashy. I don't care if the plot revolves around his muscles, I don't really care if it rains! I'm going to have a backup Plan B, Plan C, and Plan D, but I'm reading about tatty-worn kilts being taken off, filthy black boots being unlaced (slowly), and biceps that are bathed in sweat as often as I can. Please, just walk right past me. I'm fine. (FINE!) What were you saying, Craig? Go on.
My decision six weeks ago, to buy an Amazon Kindle, was perhaps the most amazingly awesome (too many awesomes) decision I have ever made really when it comes to doing something just for me. Who knew there was an entire genre of tawdry romance books dedicated to the Gothic Highlanders; their mean and ruddy ways, as they forge through battles, and sexual escapades to find themselves nestled on gorgeous purpled moors that go on and on for miles without another human to stop the next vigorous brio from happening? I didn't know. I know now. I am very happy. I mean, I love Sir Walter Scott. I do. I love Rudy Kipling. I'm absolutely thrilled that I can sit for hours on end and consume the likes of Sherlock Holmes, Treasure Island, and the in-depth studies of the Surgeon's Hall, but yes, there are times when the kilty pleasures of my mind will need appeasing. Appease away!
The All New Kindle is the 11th Generation I think. I'm not sure. It's a different size than the Paperwhite. It has a different charger as well. I think that's dumb, but it is what it is. The Paperwhite held about 1000 books I think. I am right at the limit now if I had to be honest. I think moving over to the All New was a good idea. I have the Paperwhite still, I'm not about to let it go; don't get me wrong. I just have it as a backup and I take it with me if I go places where there may be a chance that I'll end up needing to spend an hour waiting for someone or something. I bring the Kindle. I'm never bored. I may be seen giggling, snickering, and gnawing on my scarf (maybe pounding my fist into the seat cushion) but I am never ever bored...never. Again, just stare a second, then walk right past me. Smile if you need to, but I may not even notice.
I blame Mom. I do. I blame that woman because she's the one who brought home trashy cheap novels back in the day. She left a few out and yeah, I read them. I think that's how I found out that a man has a few parts that we don't have...it wasn't long before I realized what some of the words actually meant, and sure, I remember being too embarrassed to even think about asking Mom about it. I just kept reading the books until I figured it out for myself. Never the one to admit I'm ignorant. Best if no one finds out...keep reading. Just keep read....ing. "Oh. My. Gosh....I may never put this book down!" That was me at 15. Yeah, 15. Before that, I was in denial about such nonsense. People didn't really do THAT, did they? No way! Oh, OK, what? (giggles...I can't help myself. I giggle)
The Kindle offers me the advantage of having thousands of books at my disposal and I don't even have to buy them if I go to the free books in the store. I have bought about 200 books, but all the rest are gimmes...just gimme gimme gimme...and hold my bubble bath bottle, I may need to keep reading before I draw that bath. Things are heating up a little over there in Inverness!! It is NO WONDER that so many American (and probably Canadian) women trek to the Mother Country to visit the Highlands for themselves. It's as if we (they) think or hope that they can spot a rugged hairy-legged brawn of a beast-man walking around the hills in his family colors. Naturally, he'll need to be fully bearded, bare (and bear) chested, and with a neck as thick as a solid oak trunk. He doesn't have to speak. He probably shouldn't speak, but if he does decide to speak....let it be in his native tongue. I knew there was a good reason to join Duolingo and learn Scots Gaelic. I can almost (almost) understand Craig when he whispers. At least I understand him when he smiles.
Breathe. Keep breathing. Sigh.
IYKYK: Craig Allan Mackenzie (or "Craig") is my fantasy husband. I've been with him for over 30 years. He was formerly called "Naked Bearded Man" but this year I decided he needed a name. He has one now.
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