If you know me, you know I can't go fishing because I can't do blood. I can't put the worm on the hook, I can't see the fish on the hook (caught by the mouth) and I can't possibly cut up a fish, filet it, and/or chop off its head and tail. That is JUST NOT going to happen. Now, that being said, I am perfectly capable of writing about it in full and disgusting detail if I needed to. I just can't actually do it. I can't watch Chicago Med without my fingers of my left hand covering my eyeballs most of the time - - and it's one of my favorite shows. I can read about gross things, but then I start seeing them, and I can't hardly take it, so I have to go for a walk or pray through it. I can write about it, but then I can't read it back to myself easily - - still, the disposal of the bodies I write about have always been the focus of my murder writings, not necessarily the act(s) themselves. Murder is just that, murder. It's an act, but the lead-up, the cover-up, the disposal, and the trial prep -- those are interesting facts.
Today, I'm writing the Murder Book! I've been threatening to write it for years now. I've written stories, grotesque and morbid, often way too macabre for my own brain, however, the book is another feat. The book is not just a story, it is a collection of facts, many stories leading up to and surrounding the main story, which is then separated out and told by others in the form of a trial, testimony, expert witnesses, and of course, verdicts. I'm finally making the words mean more than just notes on cards. I have in fact decided to dive deeper into the characters first so that I know who I am dealing with. I'm naming them, giving them reasons to survive and thrive. I'm addressing their backstories, finding out why they are connected if they are connected, and exactly how they may be forever forged by the ties that now bind them. Are these ties made of imaginary convictions or are they made of wire or hemp? Someone Had to Die. (The title of the book, Someone Had to Die)
So, after laying down the sticks and bones of the main characters I'm going through Wikipedia to gather information and intel on a couple of would-be actors in the play was this a play. Many true-to-life characters will be referenced in the book; one of which is the character, the real-life serial child molester, a killer, and found to be cannibal named Albert Fish. Fish was the subject of a 2007 released film called The Grey Man, a movie my son was hired to act in (2005) and one I have only seen once after realizing the director cut my son's good scenes! WHAT? How dare he? Oh well, I have the stills from the event. I can say with complete honesty that my son was the best-looking cop on the set, bar none! (Side note, when Reuben was asked to tackle the stunt man who was doubling for the bad guy, he took the order a bit too seriously. My son played football at the time and was one of the state's leading linemen. Just braggin'.)
I'm reading about Fish and I'm reading about another disgusting piece of shit named Peter Kutren. Kutren was known as the Vampire of Dusseldorf. Oh, the things these men did to people. I can't hardly stomach reading about it. Like I said, I can write about it, make it up, use these events and sickening descriptions to salt and pepper my own stew of tales, but nasty, nasty, nasty! I shake in my boots thinking about it, and I'm only wearing my socks!. (I have to restate that, I do actually have on other bits of attire as well, I'm not sitting at my keyboard in JUST my socks..no, I'm odd at times, but not that way.) I just don't wear shoes if I don't need to. My preacher goes barefoot most of the time. I like my feet covered. I have the dirtiest socks this side of the Mississippi, but that's another subject to be discussed. I may actually put that in the book, who knows? I find a lot of really interesting and not-so-interesting facts to add to my notes.
What's happening today is note-taking. The building, the getting to know who and what I'm dealing with. Next, I'll pop notes and tidbits in some sort of order, maybe make a skeleton of the timeline, go from there, and fill in the blanks. After I get the blanks filled in I'll remove and add more fillers and I'll change my mind completely, just because I can, then I'll put it back the way it was because I think it's good, and that's the plan for now. It's worked pretty well in the past - - but this time I'm publishing! I'm also testing the waters by leaking quotes and tiny bits of information online to see what sort of responses I get. I've been emailed by about 4 of the characters so far; people I've cast in a shadow of a glance type modification(s) of a character. All of my good friends will be cast in the book one way or the other. They know this. I'm not asking permission, just letting them know. If they don't want me using their real names I won't (Except for Robin! Robin will be Robin because she is such a good Robin! It's a wonder British name and she fits it.)
One of my new characters is based on a tiny woman at the pet store. She's given me permission to use her character in the book. She's even allowed me to call her by her first name, and I think I will. There were plenty of women with the name Katie (Kathryn) back in the 30s and in Chicago. She's a feisty one! You have to watch out for the quiet ones you know. Another character is our friend Joakim from Sweden, he's allowed me to use his name as well. A young adventurous weather student from a foreign country who just happens to follow the extreme weather wherever it leads him. We won't see much of Joakim in the first book, maybe a line or two, but he reappears in the 2nd book as it takes place in and around Norman, Oklahoma - - tornadoes!! Oh wait, I can't give too much away now, can I?
OK, gotta get back to the slaying of my brain now. Wikipedia is a wealth of information about these historical figures, the time period(s), decoration, decorum, places, and settings. I've stumbled across a treasure for sure, but my spirit is turned when I realize that the victims of these killers were truly alive. They were real and human beings with love, fear, feelings, anxiety, emotional distress, and in some cases open torture. I cry just reading about them. When I think about the end, the day we know will eventually come to these barbaric men (and women), I am no more at peace with the innocent lives they took. I just can't understand true psychosis. I never will understand it.
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