Recently a man I know from the internet posted a meme about being grateful vs. being negative. The meme showed about 6 or 7 different ways you could say something to someone in such a way as to leave the apologies out and add in a more grateful attitude. This works on so many levels. The first one I remember was instead of saying "I'm sorry I'm late" a person would say "Thanks for waiting on me. Time got away from me." Another good one would be, instead of saying "I know I complain a lot, but..." a person could say "You're always there to listen to me when I need to vent. Thank you." Firstly, it just makes more sense (common sense) not to be negative all the time. We attract what we put out there. We bring to us what we bring. If we carry baggage with us from years back and constantly talk about it over and over again, we not only relive it, we force everyone else to relive it as well. STOP! I don't want to have to be bold, blunt, or forward about it, but I don't wish to be a part of your pity party!
I've not had the opportunity really to hire many people, when I was an employer I hired my own kids to assist me in my family insurance business. I would, however, if I were to become an employer, wish for each and every last employee of mine to be both upbeat and positive. If I sensed negativity, overt apologizing, untimeliness, or even so much as cowering from a candidate who was applying for a job, I would not choose that candidate. I don't want that type of attitude near me, I certainly wouldn't want it near my business or my other employees. Negative breeds quickly. Negativity is quite fertile! It takes JUST as much energy to be positive as it does to be negative about an issue or situation. In fact, it may take more energy to constantly have to be down about something to the point of being a great drag! Who wants that?
Yes, I know there are those who are depressed. Yes, I am fully aware that people go through trauma, that they deal with it differently, that they need time to process, and I know that it's not going to happen overnight. What I am saying is, if I were employing someone, and making a decision about who to hire, I would pick someone less obviously negative because it would and could have an impact on my business and that would eventually impact my livelihood. I'm not willing to sacrifice that for someone who can't control their emotions or bring a positive outlook to the forefront. I'm not saying I wouldn't personally care about that person, or that I wouldn't try to be there for that person if I could, but as an employer, I have more to think about than one person's self-appreciation issues.
Before you get upset with me, thinking I'm a total boo-bear and that I don't care about those with true mental health issues, please note that I am not saying that these things aren't real. They are real, but there are so many who refuse to become better. There are those who stay in the wallow and who choose to be down when they know they can lift themselves from the pits. There are those who need more help, yes, but there are so many who have through lifestyle and habit, chosen to be an Eyore when they could be a Tigger, a Pooh, even a damn Rabbit, but enough is enough and if it is within you to make a change you should do so if for NO OTHER REASON, but that it benefits YOU to be positive. You can't argue with me if I say it sounds better to say "Thank you" than it does to apologize constantly.
My son Reuben is training to become a First Sgt. in the Army (OKANG). He was born with a blood type of B+. I love to hear him tell people who don't know this fact, and who are questioning why it is that he's always smiling and seemingly over the top about a routine military chore, why he is so gleeful. He smiles and gives them a wink before saying "I was born B+, I don't have a choice, do I?" If it were always that simple we'd all be happy people. There's something to be said about that though. We may not have B+ blood running through our veins, but I don't think that people with 0- blood are negative; it is truly a choice we make. We can't keep blaming the past, or the past experiences, or the past letdowns. We can't continue to think nothing will come of anything because it hasn't before now. MAKE THAT CHANGE! No, it's NOT easy - - yes, it requires more than words. Begin slow, steady, easily, and make a change or two every day - - note the fact that you have made changes, and build on it.
Another point on the meme that I remember was this one, it said, "Thank you for being my friend" the person doesn't need to go on and talk about how they never had friends in the past, how they weren't allowed to have friends, how friends treated them poorly, and so forth. Know when to stop talking and just enjoy the company of another person willing to be there with you. If you continue to push the negative even the really strong-minded and good-natured person will consider it a lost cause to always have to remind you to be more positive. Do the work for them, do the work for yourself. Treat yourself with the respect you deserve so that others will do the same. YOU are the one that must first create the need and the purpose in your own life -- saying THANK YOU more often can actually make a huge difference.
In some offices there is a sign in the kitchen or breakroom that reads "Your mother doesn't work here, clean up your own mess." Well, it would stand to reason that a sign like that could hang in your head as well. Your mother doesn't live in this space. Your monkey, your circus...stop the crazy, and be thankful you woke up! Be grateful you have breath. Thankfulness is truly a gift you give yourself first. It's a good place to start. What happened years ago was in fact, years ago. Every day you are given a new opportunity to be the better and more opportunistic person you can be. Make it happen rather than cursing that it doesn't happen. You're welcome. (By the way, I'm a Tigger)
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