My eyes see things, my mind knows things, my ears hear things, and yes, my heart can feel things. We all have the same equipment to use and work with when it comes to being loved and loving others. We know what we should do, we know what we should say, but do we do it? I can honestly say that I'm finally at that point where I can say I can be honest and I can be open and I can be who I really am. I don't have to worry about lying to someone to impress them. I don't have to lie to someone to hide anything that I wouldn't want them to know about me. Part of the freedom of being single and staying that way is that I choose who I spend time with and if I simply don't want to be with someone I'll be upfront and say so. I'm not rude about it, and I'm certainly not overtly sweet about my exit either. I'll make it as cordial as I can, but I'm not about to spend time that I can't get back or feel I've not made the right investment. Sorry, we just don't have time to waste these days.
I watch people. If you know me you know that. I listen to people. I literally set myself down and listen, watch, observe, and sometimes I put myself there on purpose so I can hear, see, think, and feel about it. I do it because I'm (sometimes) paid to do it. I do it because it's a very cheap form of entertainment; albeit you never know if you're going to find yourself viewing a romantic comedy, a drama, or God forbid, a horror show! People are the worst; people need to learn a few lessons from animals, that's all I can say about that. Horses are rather blunt and upfront about things, but in the end, they usually settle down and can easily share a pasture as long as they understand the rules, and who is in charge. I've seen men and women who are supposed to be IN LOVE and who are supposed to be one another's FOREVER mate, treat one another with such disdain and with such hatred, you'd think they were born mortal enemies!
I know I go back to it over and over again, but vows are actually promises. Marriages don't have to be and probably shouldn't be, based on being in love with one another. A marriage is actually a contract, but people seem to forget that part of it. They have this notion that you meet, you date, you jump in bed, you exchange secrets, you push each other's buttons, and you introduce one another to the families. Then after a certain amount of time you decide if you should stick it out or try to start the process over again. Love is good, it's a good thing to have, but love starts with respecting one another and it's just really hard to achieve that when you jump through the hoops and skip over the process that God had in mind for two people who are and/or will be spending their lives together. People don't even consult God on this matter for the most part, and well, it shows!
Before we get too far into it, I have to confess that I am as guilty as anyone else who jumped the gun and forced a situation in order to please the family, keep up with the Jones, and all that. I got married because it was "time" to get married. I got married because I thought I "needed him" not because I loved him. No, there really wasn't any love to be had, but then again, LOVE isn't always the emotion we need to rely on when it comes to being compatible. Love will happen if respect and trust are given and earned. Love is a result and a product if you will, of trust and respect. Waiting on God would have been such a better answer for me and yes, I can say with absolute certainty, that it is the best answer for anyone and everyone.
Today, while watching, I overheard a woman say to her spouse, her soon (very soon) to be former spouse that she was going to see to it that he was ruined. She was going to make it her life's duty and ambition to see him fail. She was going to take everything she could, everything he had, expose his every dark secret, and she hoped before God that he was punished and hurt worse than he could ever imagine. I don't know if I breathed a really heavy sigh and she saw me, but she turned to me and she screamed at me as if I was a part of their conversation. To be honest, I was there first. I was sitting in that spot for at least fifteen minutes before she and her Mr. came out of the store and began or picked up their latest argument.
She was going to ruin him. She was going to see to it that she made it her life's ambition to see him ruined. Is this the same woman he held in his arms at night back whenever? Is this the same man who promised to cherish, love, honor, to forsake all others for her? Is this the way it's supposed to end? Absolutely not. Something, and maybe a few somethings happened! No one wakes up and declares that their life will not be complete until they see their spouse felled and utterly destroyed without there being at least a few incidents that led up to the falling. Can someone please explain to the world that we really do have choices? We can either listen to God and do what He wants or we can fight and claw our ways out of situation after situation after situation. It doesn't have to be a bad marriage, it can be a job, it can be the way we go through relationships like water, it can be that we continue to use alcohol, drugs, weed, sex, or whatever, but in the end, isn't it the same? We aren't doing what we KNOW to do (I'm talking to Christians at this point. We can't expect non-believers to behave as believers.)
Does it sound really churchy of me to say we need to listen to God? Well, I guess then we best be gettin' ourselves back to the church! How's that sin working out for you? How is that failed relationship coming along? How is that repeated trip back to rehab doing? Is it working? Are you getting all you need out it? Professional help is great when you take the information and apply it to the rest of your life without using it as a crutch to cling to. It's supposed to prepare you to walk on your own. I suggest you walk with God and let Him direct your steps. He did promise that He would if you asked! Take Him up on that! He's got a really good track record for telling the Truth and you know - - being the Truth.
Love never fails. Where there is money, status, pride, sin, and lies, they are going to fail. You can bet your last hard-earned dollar on that one. You will be ruined either by your own actions or the actions of someone else who is bent on seeing you face down in the dirt for whatever it was he or she thought you should have been, said or done. God isn't like that. You know, I heard something just the other day that really hit hard -- a lie doesn't want to be challenged, but the truth doesn't mind it at all, in fact, the truth asks you to challenge it - - to prove its value. We run from what we know we are doing wrong, and we stand by what we know we're doing right. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. It's good advice.
Wait on God. He will bring the right spouse if there is one. Wait on God. He will bring the right position if there is one to be had. Pray, ask through Christ, and let it go. There's absolutely no reason to become anxious, scared, or nervous. If He says YES, He says yes. If He says NO, He says No. If He asks you to WAIT, the answer is always going to be YES. He'd never ask you to wait to be told No. That's the beauty of it right there. We KNOW when the answer is NO, we don't have to wait to be told. We push, we pull, we prod, we force - - but the answer was NO and it will never be YES if it is NO. I think we all need to get a little of that in us from time to time. I'm absolutely including myself in that one. I say it all the time; Psalms 37:4-5 is still in the Book. No one has EVER taken it out, and no one ever will. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to Him, and HE will bring it to pass." The best part about it is, He can't fail. Ever.
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