Say Goodnight Faith

Faith the Dog - Sgt. Faith

It was a great three years I have to give you that. We began touring sometime in 2005 with Faith going to schools, churches, counseling sessions, and military bases to see if she could bring the same joy to others as she did locally...and she did. We began our journey thinking it was just going to be fun, I needed to make enough money to support my family, and I needed to be able to get Faith's message out to the people who I believe needed it most. I can say without hesitation that we met our goals...well, not financially, but in every other way.

Finances should not have been the problem that they were. I couldn't and still don't quite understand why a person or a company would make a claim or a promise to me and then not fulfill it. At first I believed it was just an oversight, a mistake or mistatement. Time proved differently to me, it proved I was just a bit too nice or maybe naive to be in the entertainment business without a full time manager or agent who can not only find the work and performances, but can demand the money to be paid upfront. Mike Maguire is a manager/advisor and he's darn good too - but even he couldn't force some of the people who promised us to pay when they were suppose to. Many of these performances we ended up working for free - and you just can't pay the car payments, rent, electric bills, or buy food for the kids on an empty promise. Mike was as astounded as I was this summer to have 2 very different and very separate endorsements promise to pay by August 1 - and then declined to do so. Should I have seen it coming? A friend of mine in L.A. says I should have - he's a movie producer who did a motivational film with Faith. He and his staff paid us well, and paid us every single time they booked us...they were rare. I love them for being honest good people, but it hurt when he told me that I should have realized that people lie. I don't lie.

Because I have NEVER EVER not even ONCE been misled by the United States Army, the Marines, the Navy, the Coast Guard or any municipality - I will continue to take Faith to bases, hospitals on bases, V.A. hospitals, and humane societies if they are sponsored by municipalities. Schools and churches unfortunately are among the top places who just never seem to have what they pledged - but at least they didn't MEAN to let us down. It's just a fact of life - schools and churches don't have the means to bring out motivational speakers most of the time...and that's after all what I am, I'm a paid motivational speaker who happens to bring my dog Faith along for the celebration! Somewhere along the time people began wanting Faith to endorse their products and we said OK...until they stopped paying us, refused to uphold verbal agreements, refused to uphold written agreements, and refused to follow through with their promises. You just can't explain their lack of integrity to YOUR creditors - not easily or with result.

So, it is with heavy heart, tearful eyes, and a spotted wagging tongue that we say Faith is now entering into retirement. Sure, we'll allow someone to do a movie about her. Sure, we'll uphold contractual agreements that are already in place, and yes, we're open for more bookings - if they pay upfront! I know that sounds terrible, but maybe all of this has taught me to be a little meaner - a little more business, and less nicey-nice - - which is sad - - but it is a business. (Please don't tell Faith it's a business, she's simply in this for the smiles. I wish I could be too!)

It's been a fantastic, and phenomenal ride - I've been so privileged to have met some of the best people in the entire world....and I will no doubt see them again throughout eternity. God certainly blessed me..He blessed Faith...He blessed the world with Faith. She won't say Good Bye yet - we'll be around if you need us, but for now, until such time that we can do this - Good Night.

Those Born on October 27

A Comparison!

These two - great and wonderful people have more in common than the woman pictured believes. She has a way of being a bit negative, not allowing herself to break out of the protective shell she has built for herself - but other than that, she and this man, this God-Sent man, have a lot in common other than just the fact that they were both born on October 27. (Theodore Roosevelt, pictured here as a very young and handsome man) was born 150 years ago today! Niki is slightly younger.

TR was indeed a dynamic man. He saw things in a way that others felt was over the top, or a bit aggressive. Niki sees things and wants to change them as well. She has great ideas and tends to maul them over in her mind a bit - I think if she were born in Teddy's time he would have been attracted to her not only because she is such a dark and mysterious beauty, but she is athletic, thinks out loud, and she comes up with really cool ideas. TR, unlike Niki, takes those ideas and blows them way out of proportion! He wanted world peace - he therefore kidnapped the leaders of Russia and Japan who had been arguing internationally, and he put them on his Long Island docked yacht. He took them for a little boat ride, refusing to return to shore until they could work things out. He won the Nobel Peace Prize for it, today our own president would be arrested for it.

When TR was young he had asthma - Niki has asthma. They both decided to do something about it. TR boxed and walked briskly for miles and miles every day. He rode horses and he forced himself to breathe. Niki runs and has finished in the top rankings of women in our city several times. She doesn't let her lungs stand in the way of her dedication to the sport - something else too; both TR and Niki are writers. They have ideas that they can't keep inside their heads. They believe, they dream, they think! If TR were alive today he'd scold Niki into putting her book to paper and getting it out there for the world to see. He'd tell her that it didn't matter if anyone else liked it, it was her work and it deserved to be seen. I tell Niki all the time that I envy her for being born on my very favorite man's birthday - Scorpios rule!

Both Niki and Teddy are animal lovers. Niki wants to open up a puppy palace and let the dogs run free for acres and acres. She'd sleep with every one of them if she could. She's pictured with her Jack, a Schnauzer, and my daughter's puppy Yuki, a mixed Chihuahua. Teddy had animals in the White House and on the lawn for years. He even had a badger living in the White House named Josiah! Imagine Bush or our next president even suggesting that! Gone are the days of real glory in that place.

So she's another year older and he's still 60 - up in Heaven no doubt smiling that big smile and chasing something from the saddle of a grand white horse. I doubt Niki will jump on a horse today, but she sure better think about chasing something - that DREAM of hers.....it can't escape, she's a ROOSEVELT! hahaha...

Happy Birthday you two! I love you both - oh, and they both have bad eye sight too! Hahaha...I told your secret!!

Acai - Thanks to Students

The Acai berry and of course, a beautiful bronze butt.

I have some of the best students - seriously. I go away, I don't teach them and what do they do, they follow my career, they call me and give me advice. Some of them even ask me for my autograph -which is funny because the guy I'm talking about has my autograph when I signed him out from jail in the 9th grade. He got a copy of the paper! OK, so now one of my "babies" as I call them all, has an idea on how to get his old fat teacher skinny and pretty. He said he's going to make me look like his sister's friend's mom. I think I followed that line correctly, maybe it was his mother's sister's friend - I don't know...she's suppose to be skinny and pretty - but if she has a perfectly shaped bronze butt you can count me out. I don't tan that well.

I looked up from sitting in my car and there he was - my ex student Victor. I won't give out last names - he may want to remain anonymous for helping me. He was standing at my door with a box in his hand. The box had Acai Berry pills in it and he had 6 bottles. He looked like he was going door to door selling the bottles and I asked him if they were sealed. He told me they were, and then as if he had read my mind he stated he hadn't stolen anything - his sister's friend works for the drug store and they overstocked so he got them at 1/2 price. He gave me the name of the store and manager too. So, after calling and verifying his story I bought a couple of bottles from the kid and paid 25% off retail so he could have a little profit. He just wanted to see if they worked and I was the first fat person he could think of. I love these kids - their honesty.

To be perfectly honest, and I love this, he was a bit disappointed that I had already lost 45 pounds since I last taught English in the "hood" and he was saying he's going to take the credit for it when he comes back and takes my "after" pictures for his sales port folio - we had our picture taken 3 years ago and yes, he'll have a GREAT before picture let me tell you. I used to cringe at the sight of myself being just at 200 pounds, but now I don't. I see it as a long and hard journey that I went on, found it to be unpleasant at times, difficult at times, certainly informative but I didn't like myself or my body much - and I wanted a new me. If the ads are correct about this pill, this fruit, this Brazilian wonder - then I should be dancing in the sands around New Years, but don't count on the bright thong being wrapped around my bare cheeks - my son would kill me ESPECIALLY if I could pull it off - imagine what he'd do to me if I couldn't! NOPE, once a mom always a mom, and once an English teacher - - well, I go to church with MY 8th grade English teacher and I still call her Mrs. Williams. I just can't bring myself to say "Helen" in her presence! I think I've given up the notion that she lives at the school now...she lives at the church.

I hope this stuff does something cool - even if it just turns my colon purple, I don't care - something has to make these last 20 go away - forever!! I'm pretty sure the back of the bottles say to take 2 a day but I bet they mean pills and not bottles of pills....we'll see. I know I'm counting down the days but I don't want to be pushing daisies either for overdosing on SUPER FOODS.....I should make the bottles tiny little capes for Halloween - but I'd be the only one laughing. Nevermind.

Victor - I'll call you. (and.....read something!)

Soup! SOUP!

FANTASTIC pea soup! (not my picture)

I admit it - I stole my kids' peas when I was feeding them when they were babies. No way they could tell on me, no way they could fight back. I just took them! I took the pea mush out of the jar too, I just did it because I could - and I don't remember a single time any of my kids fighting me for the stuff either. Nope, they just let Mom have their peas. Gave it up! They still do. (Laura fights a little now, but I can make a boat-load of frozen peas and give Caity one scoop and she's happy. I'm happy. It's a wonderful world.)

To the untrained mouth the soup in that picture could appear to be baby vomit, but it's not, it's succulent, dreamland-style, way-out-this-world good Pea Soup. The ONLY thing that could possibly make that bowl look better to me would be to add a few olives and tomatoes, a sprinkle of cheese, and there you have it - perfection. I could eat pea soup, butter squash soup, pumpkin or black bean soup - every last day that I'm alive from here on out - and I'd be smiling. Soup is really that great. I don't adhere to the old rules about soup any more than I adhere to the old rules about anything else really - soup is just too individualized. You make soup - you create it - it is you!

This afternoon I sat here wondering WHICH soup I would be making not IF I would be making it. Weather changing, make soup. Birds outside chirping - make soup. Dogs acting crazy and want to go outside and chase the chirping birds - they'll have to wait. I'm making soup.

I add about 2 tablespoons of golden flax seed meal to my soup too - (oh wait, that's the family secret. SHHHH) and that adds bulk as well as fiber. So, you get your antioxidants - you get your fiber for digestive purposes. You get health in a bowl is what you get - and that's no ordinary bowl either friend. I serve my soup in original and authentic Frankoma pottery. You just can't beat that bowl, and you know someone really loves you (in this case I love me) when they serve you in Frankoma pottery! Boomer Sooner!

Atlanta - Denver - Chicago - Seattle?

Atlanta Fountains - I assume downtown, I haven't seen them yet.

My resume (my newly revised and "Hyper-revised" resume has been sent all over the country to appropriate employers everywhere including: Denver, Atlanta, Chicago, and Seattle - I will say this; Atlanta seems to be edging out the others if not only because of personal connections, it also has a few great colleges which could hire me as an adjunct so I could also get my teaching fix. I've been missing that actually - I need a few brains to pick. My dogs just aren't paying attention to me, and forget my own kids - no way! I can't get them to think in full sentences let alone write out essays by hand which would include multiple sentences, phrases, paragraphs and more - more - much more. I ran into one of my old students last night, he wanted to gift me with several books which were written by his uncle. He told me he always knew he had the Writer's Gene inside of him - meeting me made him realize he needed to find it. He's working on his first collection of stories now! Wow! I love that feeling - it's so intoxicating!! Better than choc...well, no, it's not better than chocolate, but better than something good!

So, Atlanta it may be! Where to live? What to do? Where to hang out? What to take in? Do I become a Braves fan? Can't give up the Cubbies that fast - no way, and my son would murder me in my sleep if I gave up my Packers for the Falcons - - in fact, he may want me to do a little freelance spying to help out his Pack in the future! I'll get the call, he'll explain the Op and I'm sure I'll agree to it no matter how stupid it sounds - it plays well with our Eternal Denial game that we keep running. That boy can out strategize anyone - good thing he's on our side.

The last time I spent time in Atlanta I was a kid. I went to Stone Mountain, we camped near by, swam, hiked, played in the woods, pulled ticks out of our hair, and danced around a fire like we were real Indians. I remember loving every second of the air, every green and ivy-twisted branch. I remember the people and their funny accents asking me and my brother if we wanted an Orr-ang Cu-rush sodie pop! You can't forget the people - they're too sweet.

Stone Mountain (1972) was also where I met the very tall, very good looking, very blond and beautiful John R. Schneider! You may know him as Superman's father on the WB's Smallville, or the original Bo Duke, but I remember him more for playing Camp Counselor in real life. I was almost 11 - I was in love. That was just about the time I took down my Snoopy posters and put up a David Cassidy poster - a few years later I put up a Bo Duke poster - even if I was a little too old to do it!

John and I met several more times in Hollywood during his Duke days. I was on the set as an extra, a writer, a hair-assistant, and an all-around Girl-Friday to the 2nd Unit Director - I reminded the Hubba Bubba chewing Schneider about our first encounter - he thought he was a fat kid, I told him I thought he was sent from Heaven itself. We both laughed about that - but that is my Atlanta memory....good looking men, great sodie-pop, and bald mountains with men carved into them - riding horses. It would be years later that I would come to appreciate the faces, the lives, the legends left by those men whose images still etch the sky and loam over the passersby and rock climbers of Stone Mountain. Confederate President Jefferson Davis, General Robert E. Lee, and General Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson - my son actually told me about them when he was around 10. Ever the Civil War buff even at that age, he was able to bring alive their every deed - their every devotion to the wonderful people of the South. He told me he wanted to see J.E.B. Stuart included - I suppose there's still room for one more General perhaps if someone was so inclined.

Atlanta - looks like it's leading the pack today.

In Case You Haven't Heard, Iraq is a Boring Vacation Spot

My son, Spc. Reuben Stringfellow - vacationing in the deserts of Iraq for another year.

You'd think he would have picked a better place to lie about where he's going to relax and lay about, but no, my son says he's been in Iraq for the past 4 weeks and he's thinking of extending his vacation for about another 48 weeks. As if I couldn't check and find out - he's in Alaska!

He says the weather is great, the people are friendly, he gets along with the local livestock (I didn't ask too many questions about that statement) and he's thinking that the war is just about over. I purposely said "What war? Is there a WAR going on in Iraq son when you're there?"

He and I have been playing this game of "Eternal Denial" for quite a while, and he's one of the best players I've ever met - - he claims that he actually took his body and had it flown to Iraq to play this game with me. He claims also that he's living inside a real tank just to prove his point, now that has to be the epitome of characterization! He believes he's in a war! He believes he's enlisted in the United States Army, and from time to time he even gives himself a new rank just to pull another one over me - I guess you can only pretend to be a Private, or Private First Class just so long. Now he's calling himself a Specialist! Imagine that. My son, special! OK, I CAN imagine that.

So, here's this Specialist, he's hanging out with real Army personnel, he's eating with them, drinking with them, sleeping and training with them, guarding posts and he's even reporting back to me that on this particular vacation package they (the U.S. Army Forward Operating Base that he's somehow paying to stay on) is letting him shoot guns with live ammunition. I have to assume he's talking about a controlled indoor environment, again, I didn't ask too many questions - Reuben's been known to sneak into the movies to see that 2nd show when he's only paid for one. He tells me that he uses phone cards to call home since his cell doesn't work. (C'mon even I know they have Sprint and Verizon cell towers in the desert, I saw them when I drove to California.) He only calls in the middle of the night so we can keep the game up - Alaska is 3 hours behind Oklahoma so if he's calling me at 2:45 a.m. my time it's only 11:45 p.m. in Fairbanks where I'm sure he's actually - - wait - - my son called me from a phone card, the return number wasn't an American number at all - it registered as a - - foreign country.

OK...now I'm concerned. When he left my house and told me he was going on vacation for a year he was lying! NO! He's not pretending to be in Iraq - he's ACTUALLY IN the country of Iraq. Those photos of the palms aren't really from the West Coast? Those camels weren't rented or borrowed and you know what - my son is - - Oh, he almost had me...I almost believed it, hahahaa...good one boy, good one. If I hadn't heard his X-box in the background with the Packers beating the crap out of the Cardinals I may have thought he was in or near Baghdad....wow. OK, I'm fine now. Everyone knows there's no electricity in Iraq! He couldn't be playing Madden 08, he couldn't be, right?

I should pay attention to what he said - It was something like "Glad you're not here Mom, wish I was home." Well, the good news is that the vacation and the traveling should be over in less than a year for Baby Boy and if he ever does make it to the war he'll be the best damn tanker this world has ever seen. Let's just hope that doesn't actually happen.

KWTV-CBS Channel 9 Oklahoma City, OK

I was interviewed today by a beautiful new reporter Audrey Eagle of Channel 9, and photographed or filmed by the veteran Channel 9 cameraman Darren Brown. Turns out Brown knows my bestest best friend's husband - worked together at 9, and he calls him "Puddin'" so I'll have to be sure and do that next time I see Darren Clarke! How fun will that be? I need to do it AFTER he gives me my OU tickets for next week's game for sure. (What am I saying, Jeanie can get those tickets out of Darren even if I call him "Puddin'"...c'mon!)

The interview went very well if you asked me - but of course I haven't seen the edited version - Darren Brown will probably want to beef-up the segment where I'm playing with Faith on the floor - showing off her snarling giant teeth in slow-motion to get the best effect for Halloween! We were outside walking and running around. She sat up pretty for everyone and barked at passersby - we were inside playing on the ground and of course sitting (on Robin Jone's couch) talking to Audrey about the facts surrounding the story of my family and I finding, raising, training, and speaking with Faith. Most of the questions Audrey asked were standard and they were boundary questions that you and I would call frequently asked questions. Other questions were welcomed by me because it gave me the opportunity to talk about how Freeman Collision in OKC helped me out when I needed it. I was able to say that Todd Freeman felt that our work was important and he wanted to be there to help our cause - he's currently working on my little Ford Focus Steve. Steve was in a big-bad-bang a few weeks back.

I really enjoyed this particular interview because it gave me the chance to talk a bit about my kids, their career paths, their lives, and what we're planning to do in the future - the Faith the Dog Foundation was talked about, and we talked about our movie hopes with asking Sherwood Baptist to do a feature length film about Faith and her story. I just hope that the airing of the segment is powerful and positive, that it brings local awareness of Faith being here and doing things, and I want local work! I really do want to do shows and gigs for the Oklahomans in my life too. We hardly get that chance now, and this would certainly help us do that.

Thanks to KWTV-Channel 9, thanks to Audrey for having the insight to call me after her mother sent her the viral e-mail about Faith. Thanks also to Darren "Downtown Brown" for your great filming - now do what I say man, show off those fierce K-9 fangs for the Halloween specials coming up! I should have faked Faith biting my arm off or something - she loves to play and makes a lot of great scary noises...but we always end our sessions with a lot of hugs and kisses. She is my dog you know, and she loves me as much as I love her! Big Big heart that girl has!

Thanks CBS too! We love you guys.

It May be Considered Very Rude, But...

I am absolutely phenomenal in the kitchen! Yes, I really am, and I think that every once in a great while a person has to say they're really good at something. I make the best looking kids in the world, and I do cook well. I say this after playing around in the gourmet books long enough to decide what it was that I wanted to make for myself. I'm single, I don't date, so here I am eating alone in my place thinking what should it be: Sage Chicken Oro won out - not on the menu!

Basically I broiled chicken, added orange and lemon juices with soy oil, and topped it with sage and onion. There you go - to accompany my new creation I decided on crisp asparagus with a garnish of black olives, tomatoes, and basil - very good choice. I know, I could have had another veggie, I could have found a bread - but I'm trying so hard to keep it under a certain calorie and carb count while making it too delicious to talk myself out of it. I refuse to go to dinner at a restaurant alone. I must have at least one brat with me at all times when dining, and I am brat-less for a while. Having one in Iraq, another in enemy territory (Oklahoma inside joke) and one who simply can't find her way home from time to time to be with her ever-loving mommy - I find myself in the kitchen more and more. It's OK I store the wine there as well.

Oh, but I was so very upset this afternoon to find that the only light wine I had was a Merlot - not light at all, in fact dry and rather deep colored. Because it had not been chilled and the Cab was - we went with Big Ass Red Table Wine - if the shoe fits. LOL Actually, for a cheap little wine it does go well with the beaten sage and roasted onion - seriously, I could be onto something, and soon every Italian restaurante will be calling me asking me for the specifics to this particular bird - should I hold out? Depends on whose asking I guess.

So there you have it - the tiny kitchen reeks of succulent oils and heavy spice, it throbs with the aroma of asparagus, tongues leaping over the medley spread upon the mass of green...and the palate lives and breathes for me one more day.

I need a bigger kitchen actually - to do this right.

Lindsay / Laura What's the Difference?

It doesn't happen as much as it used to, but when we go to NYC and Laura picks up a pair of shades for the fun of it, twisting her hair up inside of a hat, she gets stopped on the streets and asked for her autograph. She's always there to give it, but she's quick to say "Now, do you want MY autograph, because I think Lindsay would prefer that." Sometimes the person is apologetic and walks off, but more than not they ask Laura what she does - and she tells them she sings. She also tells them the other differences between she and the gorgeous Ms. Lohan - Laura says "I'm much taller than Lindsay, but I don't have boobs." Once that's been confirmed they all have a great laugh and usually Laura has a few new friends on MySpace for life.

There is now apparently another big difference between Lindsay and Laura - Laura won't shop at gas stations. She likes grocery stores. She's into that whole "I have 20 aisles to choose from" thing whereas it is quite apparent that Lohan knows what she wants, gets right in and out of the store, and carries out her stuff without killing another tree for a sack. I've been trying so hard not to kill trees! I have about a dozen of the bags you take in to carry your food home - but I constantly forget them. I end up killing polyurethanes instead - and I remedy it by using them as poop picker uppers and claim to be that much better than I really am. But it's not about me, it's about Lindsay and Laura now, isn't it?

Today my daughter called me from her new hometown of Stillwater, OK to tell me that she was "caught" buying food in a grocery store - a man took her picture doing it, and he almost ran away - he went to the other aisle over. Her curiosity got to her and she followed him. He was changing out his lens - she approached him and tapped him on the back. She asked him if she needed to sign a release form or if he was just randomly snapping pictures of women buying Doritos. She was a full 3" taller than this guy so he said "Oh, you know what, you're not who I thought you were, and I was thinking it was rather strange for Lind...well, never mind." Laura laughed and said "Go ahead, say it, I get it all the time when I'm in L.A. or NYC, but hey, this is a first for me..OKLAHOMA." He smiled that strange and awkward smile they all do and said "Well, you're nice and she would have never has asked me for a release form." Laura said "Well, if people left her alone she'd be more apt to be nice to them."

Laura told the guy to keep the picture though. She told him she was a singer, and she was about to record her first CD for real. If he was smart he'd use the photo in the future and say he was there in the grocery store BEFORE she was famous to prove she had a habit of eating Doritos and drinking Red Bull! I guess all beautiful women in the entertainment business can't sustain on celery - at least Lindsay and my little Laura Cakes have that too in common. Caity would have been caught buying the celery.

Effects of Dark Wine

Cause and Effects 101: The effect can't happen without a cause, a purpose, things that move in the mind or the night right? First you have a situation; lets say for sake of the argument that the situation is a Big 12 loss to Texas in Division 1 Football - that's a good situation to bring up the the cause, which would be drinking wine - dark wine. Well, if you do this correctly, drinking dark wine that is, you can have an effect which can affect you - these effects vary from you to me perhaps. For me the effect was a good thing. It helped me to realize that not everyone wearing black and white stripes is the enemy. It helped me to also realize that driving would be a mistake and therefore I simply stayed put at the Hi-Lo club rather than driving around the city seeking out other wounded hearts wearing sad and mournful crimson and creme - - not hard to find. It also taught me, or affected me in a good way - which was a good effect to have affecting me - it taught me to appreciate purchasing wine at the liquor store for $8.99 rather than buying it by the glass!

Interestingly following the night hours of sorrow, crying on the shoulders of other OU Sooner fans, and celebrating with the Oklahoma State fans over their win (Missouri) I realized that coffee is another good drink to infuse into my veins even if the hour hand on the clock disagrees with my intake. Why is it that the 5:00 hour seems to be OK for wine but 2:46 a.m. seems to be a bit too late or even a bit too early for java? I couldn't disagree more with this particular tradition. I say let the Starbucks stay open, let the water heat, let the beans grind. There isn't a moment in time, an area in space that can't allow the consumption of coffee where I am concerned - it is not, and will never be a replacement for wine, nevertheless it is a reminder of spirit and of vigor! Viva la Restoration! Long live the bean! Long live the desire to open more and more cells at any and every hour possible - unless of course it is your goal to sleep...but who can sleep when one's heart is wracked and torn so openly, so raw...well, probably those wearing any shade of ORANGE!

Wine is good, wine is crimson, wine is for life...this is the truth. There are no real orange wines and there should never be.