The Beautiful People.

 I think we all know where I'm going to go with this one. I think, if you know me at all, you'll figure out right away that I believe we are all "beautiful" and that we have our own very unique gifts. These gifts are not from our fathers and mothers, that may be the case with literal or blunt beauty, but not with grace, kindness, politeness, servant attitude, or gratefulness; those gifts come from our true Father. When I say we are all beautiful people I'm not just making up something to make someone feel good about who they are.

    I recently finished a novel written in 1816 by Sir Walter Scott. The title is The Black Dwarf.  In the book (and there is actually a four-book series) the dwarf is a man who was held back due to his deformities. He was repulsed, he was hated, he was lied about, and he was mistreated. Who do you think Scott used to prove to be the hero of the book? You guessed it. The man formerly known as Sir Edward Mauley. He was yes, a disfigured and grotesque-appearing individual; many feared him because of it. His rude and unsociable attitude and mannerisms only solidified their beliefs in that he must be a devil, he must be a warlock, he must be this or that. We do that don't we. Hey, guess what, Ted Bundy was a handsome man, wasn't he? Do you see where I'm going with this? I thought so.

    Many people, both men, and women seek out the self-help sites on Instagram, Tik-Tok, and other social media platforms today whereas before they would rush to the nearest drugstore and pick up their copy of Cosmo, Muscle & Fitness, and so on. You understand. They would read the articles, see the precise and pretty poses that the "beautiful" people do, and then they'd rush home and try their best to do exactly whatever it was that these beautiful people say works for them. Can they not get it through their heads that the money they spend, the time they spend, the effort they make is only (and I do mean ONLY) supporting and forwarding the wealth of these paid celebrities or in today's age, the self-proclaimed gurus and experts who don't actually give a damn about you, they only want your clicks, likes, and Patreon donations. "Don't forget to pay every month so you can hear how YOU can be like ME!"  Was that snarky? Sorry, not sorry. 

    I am 100% and all-in for helping others. I am 100% and all-in for sharing with others your secrets to success, and your beautifying tips that may make you feel a bit more secure and confident about yourself. Yes, by all means, wear makeup if you feel it makes you look, act, and be better. There is nothing wrong with dressing up, dressing down, wearing that particular outfit, going to the gym, and making changes to your physical form to be the better you. I get that. What I can't seem to understand is when "Life Coaches" tell people that in order to "have sex at dawn" or "be told yes", are doing so in order to bring about a false sense of security or a false sense of self. Get a grip, people. If you're with someone who doesn't want to have sex at dawn, talk about what you want!  TALKING is the key, communication is EVERYTHING!!  I think the internet has sort of taken that gift from us.

    Lately, I've seen an increase in people who have a bit of lower self-esteem either due to being told they are not attractive, or because they themselves have never felt worthy. I'm seeing an increase of these friends of mine (mostly men actually) following social media sites where they are being encouraged to "be a real man" by taking control and being that fantasy book-style masculine hulk who swoops in and saves the woman from ultimate loneliness and of course they end up as lovers and create new memories for themselves. Most lives these days are a bit more complicated than they are in the books. Most novels don't create characters who are working a regular job, going to community college to get a certificate in I.T., while paying a ridiculous mortgage and beating the system now and again just to put clothes on their children's backs! Forget energy prices, food costs, and other bare necessities. Most novels are escapes....they are not real. 

    We shouldn't want to be, or even try to be something we were not made to be. We are the person, the being, the one that God Himself said "Hey, I'll make this one now." We are absolutely unique, and by being absolutely unique, we are in fact and in all ways "beautiful".  Can we improve? Sure. Can we strive for a better way of life? Absolutely, and don't think I'm saying otherwise. Life coaches are great when they actually do their job. They are infectious, callous, and cunning when they tell you what you should do knowing it will cost you too much, cause issues in your current relationships, and/or pull you from your relationship with God. Don't laugh, a lot of these people think and say (to you) that YOU are the one controlling your life. They tell you YOU are the savior of your destiny and what YOU decide will happen will in fact be reality. Wow...Satan sort of said the same thing to Eve.  Didn't work out that well for any of us.

    You are enough.  You are like a bowl full of ingredients just waiting to be mixed and baked into the most rewarding and amazing cake ever created. You have all the right stuff. You are just not there yet. Maybe stop looking online for the answers on those sites with fantabulous photography showing off muscles and mass that could only come from the use of expensive and dangerous steroids. Maybe stop thinking you need someone else to tell you how great you are. Maybe go to the One who made you and decided you were going to be you. Maybe look at what you've done in the past to make others smile. Maybe you can realize that you didn't get this far, far enough to read this blog anyway, without first having been trained to read and that in itself is a gift. YOU ARE AWESOME. Don't let someone else convince you otherwise if you don't have the right clothes, the right shoes, the right hair, and the right dimples....C'mon. How long are we actually on this planet?

    We are the BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.  We don't need to pose in fancy sexy poses to prove we're stunning. We are stunning. We don't need $$$$$ sweaters or haircuts that cost more than a car payment. We don't need it because they want us to put our money into their pockets. YOU need your money. YOU need your time. YOU need your face to be YOUR face and it is. Don't let someone else cheat you out of the life you were created to live. Improve, yes. Learn, yes. Create, yes. KNOW you are the best you, and in fact, the only you. You aren't less than anyone. You aren't more than anyone because there really is not a competition as to who is best or worst. The CROSS is blind to what you look like. When the world tells you you're a mistake just remember God doesn't make them. When the world tells you you'll never make it, remember that He has!  There's no reason not to believe that ALL THINGS are possible through Christ...not some would-be hack online with a square jaw, precise beard, bulky biceps, and perfect teeth lying to you about what you need or could have.  Ask yourself, do you want to spend eternity with that guy, or with Jesus?

    You are already there. The facts are true. YOU rock, and you are you forever. Be the best you that you can be, but please don't think you need them to shape you when you have a brain and can pretty much know both your limits and your needs. We can't all be "fill in the blank with an amazingly gorgeous person's name", because that person is that person, and that's what THEY do. You do you. Thank God!

Photo Credit: Kobo.com 

My Love and Quit Relationship with the Gym.

 I really think on my YMCA membership my name should appear in the Y's for Yo-Yo. I don't seem to make it through three months of consecutive membership without deciding to cancel and call it quits for this or that reason. The reason(s) tend to be the same, so you'd think I'd figure it out, and either stop joining (again and again, thinking they'll do something about it) or that I would just suck it up like a normal human and do what is expected of me. I can't do that. They charge too much for what I get! If I'm not getting even what I pay for, why continue?

    Laura and I joined again this past November, maybe late October, I can't remember. Every time I join it's like a blur and then when I quit I remember why I quit the last time. Not much has changed.  Though the facility is actually just across the street, and it seemingly has everything we could possibly want out of a gym, it doesn't have everything we could possibly want, and we are faced with that fact...again.  They promised an extension with a pool. It didn't happen, but we can drive over to the other gyms that have pools!! No, that's not quite the same. First World issue, I understand but it is a real one for us. It is for me because I don't really have that much extra time during the week to waste driving and parking, walking in, signing in, chatting, swimming, drying off, driving home, yada yada.

    We don't seem to find the time from when I get off work to when Laura gets off work, to then, step across the street to even do a 30-minute workout most days. We say we will, and we do for a few weeks, then one or the other can't make it, and the other doesn't go alone. I don't go alone because I often get accosted by people who want to chat. I don't chat!! I need a shirt that says "No really, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to work out." Some people do not get the hint even when you say it boldly to them! Laura can go alone, she has her headphones on and she literally ignores people who approach her. I think I'm too nice. Mom raised me to be cordial. I think maybe I did a better job with Laura. I know I did with Reuben, he's brutal.

    We have just about everything we need at home to do a full-body workout, it's just that the weight machines are top-notch, and I love it. I keep saying to myself that I'll end up buying a couple of the types of machines we need then when we have a house with a two-car garage we'll have one side for the car and one for the gym. That may be a minute, but it is a plan. (as I wrote that I realized that Laura will likely be with me for another 33 years.) Some things are bound to change while other things are bound to stay the same. The YMCA is not going to change. The location I am closest to will never expand. I need to accept that. They may say they will get funding for something, but they are not actually going to do it. 

    Well, it is what it is. I can just suck it up, and do more weight training at home. Fewer weights more reps I suppose. I mean, yeah, I could put the money into buying more equipment but I don't think so. I'll just be more diligent about my home workouts now and drag Laura into the living room to work out with me. It's not like I have to use her to bodyguard me from anyone coming up to chat. The dogs and the cats tend to work out right beside me. Doga and Catoga! We are champions at these sports!! Let me tell you!  Bring it. Doggy-downward has an entirely different meaning in our house. When we roll out the yoga mats the animals vie for positions around them. Crazy!! (at least it's not yoga with goats)

Photo Credit: GoatsToGo.farm

Bo'ness. It May be Bo'ness.

 First, I still haven't made up my mind if I'll be moving permanently to Scotland or not. I think I will. I want to. It's just that there are so many things to consider, the least of which is not that in 2024 the UK may be "experimenting" with what they will call Climate Adjustments or lockdowns. It's more of a lock-in rather because they are considering regionally dividing areas and allowing folks to only drive within that region to spare the unnecessary climate monsters to destroy other parts of the country. This means you'll need permission to go to work if you work in another district, or of course, you could ride THEIR rail and THEIR buses, be under their control, yada-yada. This doesn't set well with me, and I really really hope Scotland will vote for independence next time they are given the chance. I would say that's just my opinion, but it isn't just mine.

    So, if I do decide to do it, and if I do make the move, I have been thrashing the ideas around in my tiny pinball brain as to where it will be that I will settle. Could it be Bo'ness in West Lothian? Could be.  Bo'ness of course is not really named Bo'ness, it's sort of a nickname or shortened name for what it was originally called, which is Borrowstounness. Really? I rather like the longer name better.  Before it was called Borrowstounness it was referred to by its Old English name "Beornweard's farmstead". Stranger still, but again, I like it. I suppose it became easier to say Bo'ness and that's what it is called today. It is an area west of Edinburgh, East of Falkirk, situated on the Firth of Forth and if you know me, you know I love saying Firth of Forth. I really love saying that. (giggles)

    Bo'ness was known for its mining, shipping, and porting, and it really is an amazingly simple and quiet area. It seems to be somewhat cut off from the hubbub that is strict city life, but it's not in the country, having several old kirks (churches) with attached cemeteries to keep me busy if I do go. I love sitting beside gravestones and talking to their hosts as if they are still alive and able to hear me. I don't expect any of them to actually respond, but I do like to think about their lives, their goals, their accomplishments, sorrows, and eventually who they became before their lives ended. I am forever seeking great graves when I find them in genuinely old kirkyards around the country, no matter where I visit. They are both interesting and informative if you pay attention. Sometimes the only things we know about a person are written on their stone.

    Bo'ness, or Borrowstounness, has a varied and exciting history, and it is the city where you'll find a few really cool museums too. The Museum of Scottish Railways is there, and a museum for famous motorcars and bikes from several movies is there. There are at least two castles that I know of, and maybe a few larger manor houses as well, so many gardens, and even a bowling club, which by the way takes place outside on a flat lawn, not indoors with lanes and loud arcades to drown out the smashing of the pins. Nope, their bowling is much more relaxed, quiet, and not as rowdy as ours.  It's far more social.  I mean, you could probably stop the game, have a spot of tea, resume the play, and continue your conversation as you pitch the ball ever so precisely toward the targets. I imagine you can, I haven't played the game, but I think I'll join a club if and when I do move. It sounds like too much restrictive fun to pass up!

    One of the apartments I'm looking at in the area is right downtown. It's literally on their high or main street, and the views are incredible. I live in Oklahoma, and the cost of living seems to be really close to what I am used to paying and dealing with now. The two-bed one-bath apartment (flat) I'm looking at will cost me $800 or L651 Sterling pounds.  If I were to buy it, it is for sale for $159,000 or L129,575 Sterling.  It's about 800 square feet, has ten-foot ceilings, new amenities, and where it doesn't have a balcony or patio I can set the dog out on, it is close enough to a park area where I can walk said dog -- there will be a dog. I will not live without one. The houses and flats where I'm looking are well within walking distance of parks, seacoasts, greenways, and the required shopping for my personal treks to buy groceries. I don't want to have to the bus if I don't have to. I prefer walking if I can.

    The nearest train station is about 2.5 miles from me, and it will need to be accessed by taking a bus or taxi probably. The train from Linlithgow to Edinburgh City Centre costs about $10 each way, and it takes roughly 24-28 minutes so that's not a problem. I think if I'm honest, I'll head into E.C.C. two or three times a week, so buying a regular monthly pass would be the best route to go most likely.  I'm OK with that because I won't actually have a car. I'm paying over $500 a month now to own my car and keep it covered with full coverage insurance. Paying $100-150 a month in transportation is a break! One I really look forward to.  I know I can't go everywhere I want to when I want to, and that's a bummer, but I can hope that Bo'ness will accommodate. Who knows, if they have a pet store and can get crickets I'll even have a couple of lizards!

    Like any other city or township in Scotland, Bo'ness has its fair share of crime, idiots, naysayers, and punks. No place in the world is completely safe from that, but I will say that the police presence seemed really well represented there, and the streets and ways were always very clean and clear of anything that would seem harmful or distasteful to a visitor; much less for someone interested in moving there and making it a permanent household.  I like the area a great deal. I know I go on about Sterling and Fife, I do. I love them so much, and it's hard to pick just one place when you do love them all, but Bo'ness could be sort of a middle ground to Stirling and Edinburgh. It's a bit of a distance to Fife in one way, but if you go just a bit west and up the side of the Forth you end up on the west side of Dumferline and that's a plus! There's a point in the Forth that you can jump over it, every good thing must come to an end, and the Firth of Forth does that as you go further west. I should swim the shortest distance and then brag that I crossed it. (giggles)

    Boating, sailing, fishing, castles, bowling, walking, gardens, shooting (ranges), parades, music festivals, bird-watching groups, and museums are enough to keep me busy. I think it's a good and real possibility. If you look up the area on the SIMD (Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivation 2020) you'll see that most of Bo'ness has a higher-than-average ranking and rating than most other places I fell in love with. The only real negative point, if you can call it that, is the geographic location and how far it may be from public transport. I mean, I could, if I had to, get a car, but I think I could manage without one. There are several taxis in the area, buses, and there's always the remote chance I may ride a bike. Could happen. Probably won't happen, but it could happen.

    If you have very little do to someday and want to see pretty pictures of a quaint and adorable city/township in Scotland's lowlands, you can Google the city of Bo'ness and say "oohhhh" and "awwww" several times. I like it. You may too.

The Firth of Fourth (west end)

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Downtown Bo'ness
Photo Credit: Pinterest

    

Blackness Castle

    Photo Credit: Pinterest

Muscles and Madness!

 OK, let's just say it and get it over with. I don't like looking at those skinny guys. I don't like pretty guys either. I don't hate them, no, I just think if I'm going to end up with someone he should be bigger than me. That's a bit selfish, and maybe I should repent for it. I'm human.  I'm sort of a fan of the bigger, brawny type that has both confidence in himself and in his walk with Christ. Oh, wait, did she go there? What? I thought it was all about the body, the physique! I thought a woman wanted a REAL man!! C'mon guys, if you're into pumping iron to the point that your brain falls out of your head when the real important conversations come up, then yeah, no.  Stay at the gym, I'll find something else to keep me occupied. I'd rather read than be bored having to listen to gym talk, or maybe you want to explain to me again how great you look in that blue suit. Bye! (I really don't mind being by myself, I like the company.)

    Men are funny, aren't they? Women are too, we just usually don't have to be all muscled up to make a point. We know that curves are good, and brains are better. Men don't always agree with me; maybe that's why I'm still single. Could be that, or it could be that I don't put up with crap. I don't allow lies. I don't put on airs about myself and I don't want him to either. If you have a body that simply won't cooperate, that's how God made you. Try being happy in it rather than pushing yourself to someone else's limits. Be who you are! You're the only one you'll ever be, and no level of masculinity is going to change that. You don't need to pump up your arms past your personal comfort zone, and you don't need to listen to internet "sensations" who have bots following them making them look important enough to fill your head full of junk. You already know what you need; at least at your age you should! Did that guru tell you to be you? OK then, dump him.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to be fit. Yes, be fit. Be healthy, but be reasonable. Genetics are real.

    It's probably just me, but I find guys so much more attractive if they have ideas that they came up with on their own, or maybe they found an interest and they set out to flesh it out, and find out more about it. I am not the type to ask a guy to hang out with me 24/7 so he doesn't have time for his friends, his family, his hobbies, or his work. C'mon, again with the c'mon, look at me...just be you. Do you. If she's the one she'll be the one. If she's not the one and you're hoping to get one, then move on. Neither of you needs the hassle. It's OK to have a million friends. It's NOT OK to share yourself with millions to find the one. That would probably put the one off to the point of no return. Be careful with what you give away. You can't get it back.

    There's a site on Instagram about giving men their daily dosage of masculinity. Yeah, OK, that sounds both disgusting and unnecessary. It's the same with women, and it makes me sick. I'm not going to care about or think about what Kim is doing in order to feel more like a woman. My butt doesn't need to look like hers. It's mine! My lips don't need to puff to be pretty. I'm not putting mascara on for anyone, not for me, not for you, not for anyone. If what I'm doing can't be done without dolling up and being something I'm not, it's not getting done by me! So yeah, that's me. Maybe you need that boost. I don't know. I think you're pretty good the way you are; but yeah, you know, tone, stay up with the exercise, the diet, keep the sleep hours going, drink your water, eat your veggies. We don't know when the day will come when someone else needs to feed us, do we? What we do know is that we are enough! We always were.

    Muscles are great. Get them if you want them. Work out, get fit, and be the toned-up good-looking creature you were destined to be. I hope you do it with yourself in mind and not with someone else. Getting all gussied up for someone now and again is sweet, but when they start to expect it or worse, demand it, yeah, it's time to cut bait. Be true to yourself; you can't be great for someone else if you don't first do it for yourself. It's cliche, but it's true. If you think you can achieve THAT toned and sculptured body without using additives that will harm you you've been lied to, and it may be YOU that's doing the lying. Be smart. Being a man is not being a marble statue. Being a man is not being tough and acting like everyone should part the sea so you can walk through on dry land. Being a man is being humble. No really, prove me wrong.

    The best man that ever, and I mean EVER walked on the Earth, also walked on water, and get this, He did it because He could. Talk about power! Nowhere in the Word does it say that Jesus hit the gym every day, that He drank a bunch of protein shakes, took the right steroids, and gave everyone He came across the man-nod, as he pulled at the sleeves of his leather coat, giving the ladies a glance and a smirk. That's not cool. Cool is washing the feet of a beggar who had no shoes. Cool is finding time to talk to a lady drawing water from a city well that she had to go to at night to avoid the gossip and the staring eyes. Cool is looking your best friend in the eye and surrendering your mother to his care while you are nailed to a wooden beam after being slashed over 100 times with a barbed whip. Was it masculine when Jesus fell under the weight of the cross?  Choose you this day who you will serve....the body of a man, or the Savior of the soul? That's cool. Too cool for words.

    When all is said and done, this world is going away. These shells we crave to change will disappear in an instant! We'll be raptured or we'll be dead. There are times when we will be able to look back and point to how pretty we were and how great we felt, sure, but we should spend what little time we have left making those choices when the truth of the matter is, the flowers fade, the grass withers, the rain falls on both the good and the evil. Does it really matter what some woman thinks about you? Does it really matter what some guy thinks about you? No. No, not really - - the real test of your worthiness is not found in the sweaty gyms; but in the prayer closets. Don't let the liars keep your attention. You know more than they do.  No one is saying you should be alone, and no one is saying you should have to stay single but if you go off and find another partner who tears away who you are to satisfy what they need - - you're better off alone. It's hard, yeah, but wait on God to find the ONE. He knows what you want, and He also knows what you need. Besides, if you're like me, and most of you are, you pretty much screwed the pooch every time you tried to pick the ONE for yourself. Leave that to the Expert.

You're good. You were then too; you just didn't know it. You are good now. I hope you find this to be true. 

Photo Credit: hediedformygrins.blogspot.com

What Does That Even Mean?

 You can't please everyone. I don't know why we even try. We think maybe, that we'll be able to make people happier, make them smile a little, then when you present your opinion on a matter you find out who they really are. This is a good thing really, it gives you an opportunity to decide who you need to keep in your life, and who you need to let go.  Negativity is never something you should embrace. Cut it out! It may hurt for a minute, but let it go. You'll thank yourself later. I know I did.

    The other day I was cruising through Facebook and found another challenge that people post so others will learn more about the author's personality, their likes or dislikes, and maybe even something about their past that may be relatable. This was a post written and submitted by an author whose books are not necessarily to my liking. I think it's fair to say we all have our own preferences and that too is fine. We need to have that. We don't need to all read the same things, nor to write the same way. It's a good thing.

    The challenge asked the readers to find a photo or two of a fashion, or some sort of clothing article(s) that would adequately describe who they were. The challenge went on to say it shouldn't necessarily be something you would wear in public, but something that if people saw it, and they knew you, they could say "that reminds me of so-and-so, he/she embodies that!"  It sounds harder than it was. I immediately knew where to go to find something that reminded me of who I am. It took me all of three minutes to locate a few photos online. I copied them, and as I posted them I gave the photographer credit. I will say that more than 400 posts were posted and there were about six of us who gave credit!! C'mon people! If you didn't take the shot, don't claim you did by not revealing the photographer! That's another matter entirely.

    So, I posted my photo and several people "liked" it straight away.  I was, however, bowled over when I saw the comment of one individual who said "aren't you older? Why are you claiming that's who you are. Shouldn't you show something more mature?"  Do the words "F*ck you" come to mind? They did for me. I wasn't even nice about it.  I fired back something to the tune of "I noticed you shared a boy in a black hoodie. How dull. I hope you find yourself soon."  Maybe I shouldn't have been so abrupt, but that too is a part of who I am. I defend myself with words and had the man been standing in front of me and said that to me I may have defended myself with my fist...with one finger standing straight up in the air. I wouldn't have hit him. Violence isn't a good thing...usually. 

    What did I focus on then? The other comments.  I let the anger and upset feelings be acknowledged so I could dismiss them properly.  The people who think you should "act your age" or "be age appropriate" with style are people who have neither style nor any concept of what was taking place in the 60s and 70s I suppose. We were living freely, lively, colorfully, and artsy, and for the most part, there wasn't any real danger or gruesome crime! We were happy people with great music and cool cars. Yeah, I posted the photo that I have posted here so you can see exactly who I am, and what you'll be dealing with if you see me. I would wear that outfit, thank you very much! I'll wear whatever the hell I please, and you can bet your last hard-earned dollar (or Sterling Pound) that I'll do it with flare to boot!

    Speaking of boots, I've been told I have too many. What does that mean? Is there some legal limit to how many pairs of shoes or boots a person can own? I counted. It's 17 pairs of boots and 22 pairs of shoes including trainers or sneakers. I'm a girl, OK? Sue me! I counted my cowboy boots, I counted my mucking boots, my riding boots, and of course my combatish boots...the ones I'll end up using to kick someone in the ass if they need it. Let me show you what acting my age will get you. We kicked people in the day! We also like to remind folks that we're still around after being subjected to playing in creeks, eating tadpoles, swinging into lakes, fishing with our hands, drinking from the hose, and riding in cars without seatbelts while dad smoked his cigarettes! We didn't have AC in our cars. We didn't have grass under our playground equipment; nope. We fell onto the pavement and skinned ourselves pretty good! Did we cry? I don't think so. We couldn't let the boys see us cry!

    Tell me again how frail you think my generation is and you'll catch the end of it for sure. That is unless I'm too busy laughing about what you think is cool and what really is. Punks.  You can't see me giggling, but I'm giggling. Take the cell phones, tablets, and gadgets away from people less lucky to be born during a time when we had to communicate, and you'll see who survives. Give it time folks, every generation is made fun of by the next, and with each new group comes more addicts, more depression, anxiety, more suicides, more crime, and more out-of-control maniac mental behavior.  I think we knew better because we still prayed openly, and we extended a hand to someone who really needed it.

    What does it mean to be age appropriate when describing yourself? Well, I guess it means you have to be honest, open, inflective, and careful to be true to who you are, not allowing the Killjoys out there to stain your experiences. Be YOU. That's the only thing you can be, and damn, if you're a boy in a black hoodie without a face, without a direction, I don't want to read your book buddy. Just sayin'.  Why be a beetle when you can be a butterfly? DREAM PEOPLE!! 

Photo Credit: Etsy

In and/or On.

Such a difference really, and yet, so close to being the same thing in some ways. Let's think out loud for a minute or two (or twelve).  You can be in a house, on a house, in a car or on a car, in a box, with a fox - - wait, something else, isn't it? The words "in" and "on" are used over and over throughout the day and truly they are two completely different concepts yet they are the same in one way at least; in (there I go) Britain, if you live somewhere you are IN the street, not ON it. In America, the house is ON the street, not IN it. If the house were IN the street IN America, the house would be situated in such a way that you'd have to go around it.  In and on?  

    The disciples asked Jesus how to pray and in the prayer, not on it, He said (or at least in the English translation) "Our Father who aren't IN Heaven, Holy is Your name."  He also said to let "Thy will be done ON Earth, as it is IN Heaven." Again, I don't know the Hebrew or Greek for what Jesus told us, but in English, the translation is clearly saying that Heaven is a place you walk INTO not stand ON. I mean, we know there are roads that we'll stand on one day; but we'll also stand IN those roads and meet and greet friends.  We fall IN love, not on top of it, but with time we can be both IN time for something; usually saving something from certain peril, or we can be ON time too! Crazy.

    We're forever saying these two words and though we change them now and again for the other(s) we do still know what we mean most of the time when we say either in or on; no one has to explain it when we say we're in the middle of something, or onto something. It's just that they mean different things; the word "in" could mean that in order (did it again) for it to be real or meaningful, we'd have to be wrapped around with whatever "it" is so we're IN it. To be ON it, we just have to be standing on top of it. If we're standing under it, that's not the same thing, is it? Nope. In, or on, but never under, through, beside, next to, adjacent to - - I'm rambling.

    Jesus was in Heaven. He came to and on Earth. He walked among us, and later He died ON a cross, laid IN the ground, but then the real story began, didn't it? He got up! He didn't stay in the grave, He didn't stay gone. He is now both IN us through the Holy Spirit and ON our minds, or He should be!  The thing about Jesus is, you don't even have to be a follower of His and know that He is the most controversial man ever to be alive! You can't say His name without bringing joy to some and anger to others. If someone thinks they're an atheist they're lying.  They can claim to be agnostic, having no knowledge, but they can't claim He doesn't exist. Even Satan knows He is alive. Even those who worship others know Jesus is HERE in Spirit, and IN Heaven as we breathe; waiting for the "go" to return. That's when we Christians will be raptured, and meet Him IN the air, not ON the air, but IN the air on our way to Heaven. What a day.

    That's it really, I was just spitballing today, and the thought(s) occurred to me that I look up and see the moon at night IN the sky, not on the sky. Clouds are in the sky too, but we can't sit ON one, we can sit IN one, but yeah, we'll fall right through them. No substance there. The moon would at least hold us up for a while (not very long, it's a gravity thing. Gravity is more of an ON thing if you think about it.) Sometimes I let my mind wander and sometimes I let it wonder. My brain is IN my head, but the thoughts I have are ON my mind; where is my mind? Is it tangible? Do I go all DeCartes on you now, or should we discuss Hume, Reid, Locke, and others who both agree and dissent from DeCartes notion of we think, therefore we ARE, but that's not an answer to where is the mind? It has to have a physical place to hangout otherwise we couldn't be OUT of our minds, or IN the right mind! Ha!

    Some days are diamonds and some days are carbon; wait, that's the same thing! Huh? Oh well, it's something else to think about. Are all rocks the same age since God made them on the same day? Wow....mind blown.

 

Photo Credit: Laurimeyers.com

Kaleidoscope. (a poem)

 His grey eyes fixed on mine

Not understanding my heart

Not comprehending my reason

He asked, and I listened

"How can you love me?

How could you even?"

Words were there but lost

Between my gaze and soul

Words were not enough

"I'm broken, he said.

Completely without anything

I'm not who you think I am"

"You are broken," I answered

"Not like an umbrella 

One would cast away if so,

"You are broken like stained glass

Which after it is gathered

Becomes a Kaleidoscope"

- Jude Stringfellow  (December 8, 2022)

Photo Credit: Shutterbug.com

I REALLY Love Amazon.

 You just have to love all the "challenges" and games that people (mostly your friends) are playing on social media. It started years ago with someone sending around a long list of questions for you to copy and paste onto your FB wall, and then you erase the other person's answers so you can add your own.  The questions were usually rather tame, things like: "Have you ever broken a bone?"  They didn't ask how many, when, what, etc. It was just pretty general.  "First car?", and things like that.  So, now, the newest craze, it would seem, is that everyone and their dogs apparently, want to know what your last five purchases were on Amazon. I like how the author of the challenge adds "Keep it clean! This is for fun!"  Yeah, like anything I could add would be nasty, sexy, or otherwise naughty. I mean, I guess I could!!  I just had to be sure I didn't accidentally leave my address, my credit card information, or anything else that may be a bit silly of me. I know the Amazon man by name now, so when I get a message from Amazon saying they can't find my apartment, I giggle. It's not Tom!! NEWBY!!

    So, here are my last five purchases on Amazon. I had to go look it up to be sure because I order two or three things a day on that site. No, I'm not kidding. I know the author of the challenge didn't ask anyone to explain why they bought it, as most things you buy are self-explanatory, but I feel that one or two purchases may actually need to be given backstories. You'll see why

1.    Last thing: a power cord for my stupid monitor! (I have 6) It kept going out on me and I couldn't for the life of me figure out just why that was happening. Apparently, and you may need to know this, electronics go out on you. Yep, they get aged and they DIE.  I thought about going to Buy Buy but that would mean I would have to get out of my chair, take off my onesie, dress myself, and disturb my dog! We don't do that in our family. We don't disturb dogs. Cats don't count. You can get up and do all you need to do if you have a cat lounging on your lap, but not if you have a dog. It's a thang.

2.    LED night lights. These are little squares and they are really cute. They do the job and they last forever.  The moon isn't bright enough at night to be a good guide for me. I know I should (by now) know my own bedroom and I should be able to make my way to the bathroom without tripping over anything if I make sure I pick things up off the floor before going to bed. You would think that, but remember those cats I mentioned before? They prowl, and they play, and they try to kill me in the only way they can that makes complete sense to them. They move shoes and things small enough to carry, and they place them around my floor at night so that they can know when I'm up and about. This way they can beg me to feed them treats. NO! Dummies! If I'm already cussing from having tripped over my dang shoe, knowing who put it there, why would I be inclined to assist you with the pouring of treats? DIE! SUFFER!! (Not really, but you know, at 3:14 a.m. and when you're needing to pee, the last thing you need is to fall face first into your dresser because a cat left your wooly soft slipper in the path.

        

3.    Another onesie, but this one was for my daughter Caity who texted me and said her onesie had been stolen by her daughter and she has no way of retrieving it without being mean.  I agreed. There's no way I can take a comfortable and soft wore garment from my precious granddaughter. If she wants her mother's onesie then by goodness, she's gonna have her mother's onesie.  Amazon will deliver to whatever address you put in the little delivery field. Done.

4.    A tungsten wedding band for a man. Yes, that is true. You heard me. I thought I would have to explain this one since I don't really have a man. I mean, I made a man. He was a baby boy at the time, but now he's a man, but he's not mine to buy wedding bands for now, is he? Nope. That would be his wife's job, not mine. I have a good reason though. I have been praying and I have been asking God to lead me in His will and to do HIS bidding, not my own. I am not saying that "If you buy the ring a man will come along and wear it" that's not what I'm saying. I feel that the ring represents the idea of marriage, the idea of partnership, the idea of companionship, and the fact that it is tungsten, not gold or platinum is vital to my cause.  Tungsten is harder, more durable, and almost as dense as gold. It is a sturdy, strong, long-lasting, material that won't tarnish, it won't scrape, it won't break under most pressures; it won't melt unless you stick it in something over 7500 degrees Fahrenheit, and where it is hard to work with, meaning it's rather stubborn, it is nearly perfect JUST THE WAY it was made. That's the reason I bought a tungsten ring rather than a gold one. You can adjust and resize gold. You can't do that with tungsten. It is what it is. You get what you get.

5.    A 2023 wall calendar with Cairn Terriers. Talk about self-explanatory! Do I need to go into any detail with that one? I don't think so. Ever since I first saw The Wizard of Oz, I was in love with Toto. I wanted a dog just like him. When I found out they were predominantly bred in Scotland it made sense. These dogs are so great!! I've never actually owned one, having not been able to find one when I was needing a dog, but I have decided that when I do move to Scotland I will get one. That's the goal. Until then, the years pass with the little nippers on my wall.

So there you go, my last five purchases. Just to run down the list a bit further to show you how I am, just before the last five purchases, the five or twelve purchases before that were all books for my Kindle. You can buy books for Kindles on Amazon or through the Kindle itself. I have been on a roll lately with purchasing books by many major and not-so-well-known philosophers of the 15th-18th centuries. I think the newest guy is Soren Kierkegaard, so there you have it. I've been buying books by Reid, Locke, Dugald Stewart, and Hume.  

    I disagree with Hume on many points, but I don't want to appear ignorant, and as Reid says, "give the man a mental incapacity as a means of explaining his thoughts". I need to find evidence or at least be willing to discuss such.  For me, Hume is a pleasurist who merely wanted to do things that were both socially and religiously inappropriate, therefore, because of his shield of being an intellectual at a time when he was admired, he hid behind his sin using the excuse that if there is no God to punish a man for his actions then there is no punishable action. He didn't say that exactly but that's the gist. Reid backed Locke for the most part, but he denied one of Locke's principles that I happen to agree with, but we can go into philosophy another day. We really should. It's flat fascinating to understand what others believe and whether they even believe at all.

    OK, so there you go. My Five last purchases, and a few insights into my head. I'm not quite a Calvinist. I'll read my three books about the theory and see where I fall. No doubt, due to the years I have lived and the influences, I have lived under, I will be challenged to both agree and disagree, but at least I hope I will have an answer to both my alignment and my dissent. We'll put a pin in that too. I could order more pins on Amazon if I needed to. 

    

Photo Credit: Bostonglobe.com

    

Lose Yourself in God's Love.

 People often say "I was lost in her eyes" or "He took me places in my mind that I've never been to before", and we think oh how romantic. It is. It is romantic, and it is a wonderful escape, but what happens when we can't escape who we are and there is no place to hide from our own folly or mistakes. You know, Billy Joel wrote and sang about mistakes being the only thing that we can truly call our own. I don't know if he was right or not, but we can't get away from ourselves now, can we? 

    I tell myself over and over again that I can conjure an image to hide in, to delve into, and be lost for as long as it takes to bring myself out of whatever funk I may be experiencing, but if I was honest with myself (and I do try to be), I can't run away from me. Wherever I go, there I am. I keep the same company at all times, and there is no way I'm going to let me get in my way of being who I'm supposed to be; I don't and I won't define myself, or allow myself to define myself, by the boo-boos I create! Not even the big ones! My God is so much bigger than anything I can screw up, that's for sure!

    The fact that we feel that we need to hide from ourselves is sad, but sometimes we can be the worst enemy we ever had. There are times when we think things about ourselves that we would scarce say to someone who just mugged us! There are times when we feel so poorly about a part of our body, or behavior we can't stop, that we initiate the downward spiral in our spirit without needing any assistance from any outside force whatsoever. We're fully capable of being the darkest of influences on our own souls. What do we do? We do what we know we're supposed to do, and what we were commanded to do; we take it to God. We let Him have the reins (again) and we practice NOT taking them back. My sister used to say she's really good at giving God all of her problems, but she's even better at taking them back from Him. I know what she means. 

    We start by knowing our own limitations. If we think about what sort of thing(s) trigger our emotions, we can see if we can stop doing that, saying that, allowing that, or thinking that. Remember when we used to put our fingers in our ears and say "La, la, la, la, la, la" over and over again because we didn't want to hear whatever someone was trying to say? We can do that to ourselves too. Yes, we really can. I mean sure, you're going to subject yourself to a bit of ridicule possibly, but it's a small price to pay for knowing that you had a small victory by stopping yourself from harming your precious psyche!! You are worth it, damn it! 

    Someone I know may need to hear this; you know who you are. You've come so far and you've really created so much for yourself over the past year. You have been through not only the wringer but the entire laundry cycle a few times. You've been literally hung out to dry and it rains where you are! You've suffered, and you've been tormented; often, yes, by yourself, but you have met and achieved so many personal bests that there is NO WAY anyone (including yourself) wouldn't be over the top proud of you. YOU ROCK, friend. YOU freakin' rock!  I just wanted to say that.

    So, in closing. There is no closing.  You and God have what I have with God. We have the best ever, and there is no reason not to just TRUST AND OBEY because you know what, there really is no other way. No...it's just simple facts. When you start to self-hate, stop.  When you start to self-overthink, stop.  When you start to self-doubt, just stop.  Close your eyes and see yourself riding side by side on that wagon and hand those reins over to the One who loves you enough to die for you. It will be OK. Just breathe. There is nothing wrong (and everything right) with taking a wee break and going straight into meditation for a few minutes to release the thoughts; to give them away. Breathe.

Photo Credit: ExaminedExistence.com

Promises God Makes.

 Promises. The very word is interesting, isn't it? We hear someone say "I promise" and we either immediately trust that person, or we immediately don't. Our choice of whether or not to trust another person when they make a promise to us is based on the past, and if there have been promises made that were either not kept, or promises that were made that were broken. There is a difference, but the result is the same. A broken or forgotten promise is an indicator of deceit. We can't simply get over it. We can't force ourselves to fully trust that person again; even if we wanted to! Fact.

    People suck. That's just another fact of life. We can pretend that so and so is so wonderful and that he or she would always have our back, they were there in times of trouble, and they have been there when times were good. We assume, because we know, love, and have experiences with people, (certain people) that things are going to work out just fine. Then, when the horrible happens, and the person you thought you were in love with, thought they were in love with you, decides to purposely hurt you with a broken promise, well, you are left both feeling like an idiot, and you're mad because you may have literally invested years into that relationship. The true colors of a person don't always show right away. Sometimes it takes stress, the stress of keeping their word, to bring out the truth of who they really are. It hurts.

    Do you know who does not suck? Do you know who does not lie? Do you know who you can always, and I do mean ALWAYS, count on? You know the answer. It's in the title of the blog! God.  God will never, can never, has never, and will never lie. He offers us not only confidence in His word, but also in the promises He has made over the years. He made promises to Moses, Noah, Jacob, Abraham, and others. He made you and I promises too.  The thing is, there's never ever been a single (not once) time when God has said He would do something and then didn't do it. That means if He says you're going to be punished for something, you will in fact be punished. If He says you will be blessed, you will be blessed. If there is a condition on that promise, it may be up to YOU to fulfill the promise under the terms. What do I mean? Let me explain.

    God says in Psalms 37:4, through the Psalmist, that if you (a human) will delight yourself in Him, in His doing, you will be given your heart's desire by God. Is He just going to place those desires in front of you? No. You have a condition to meet. Meet it.  He won't falter on His end.  In Mark 11:4 through the writer, the promise is more clearly written that if you pray through the will of Christ for something, God will give it. That doesn't mean we just use the words "In Jesus' name" and things will happen, because any fool can pray for a $$$$ and use those words to "seal the deal", but that's not the promise nor is it the essence of the scripture. IF YOU pray through the will of Christ, and what you are asking for is in HIS will, you will receive it. That is a promise. One more, through the Gospel of Matthew in 6:33 the writer says "But first seek the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you."  Again, you have a condition. Again, you have an assignment to meet, but if you do it, He will keep His word. Do it. It's worth it.

    Singers sing about these promises. They put music to their words. They stand in front of an audience and they belt out in impassioned fervor how they truly believe that the words are both powerful and meaningful -- let them stand by their own words when they are alone. Let the singer pray and sing to God when he is in his prayer closet and feeling broken. Let the singer know that the God of his salvation is also the same God of His word and will fill the heart again, bring joy again, erase anxiety, destroy depression, and mend souls if the singer will, as we all must do, delight ourselves in Jesus. Find the way. Find Jesus. He found you. He's the same today as He was that day. He's going to be the same tomorrow. That's another promise.

    For me, I pray over Psalms 37:4 and the following verse as if it was my true and one hope. It may be.  I know without a doubt, that if He lied about that verse, He could have lied about others. I KNOW that if and when I delight in doing what Jesus has asked me to do, (which in my case is to pray for a specific person) and I then do it,(He will) Jesus will give me my heart's desire. NO ONE, NO ONE AT ALL will have the power or authority to change it. No one, no one at all, will have the power or the authority to make my desires change. No one, no one at all, will be able to stop my God from fulfilling His promise. It will happen. I may have to wait, and hey, I'm OK with that. Eternity is a very long time, and I will be there for the duration. God's word will not fail. This is the Rock I choose to use. 

    When I pray, I pray with a rock in my hand because there is another verse in the Bible that literally says if I forget to praise His name the rocks themselves will call out to Him. I never want to hear that. I never want a rock to speak in my presence if they are calling upon God because that means I did not do what I knew I was to do. I will keep that silent friend of mine in the clutch of my palm and I will thank God for its sealed voice. I will pray, and I will praise Him. I will lift up my voice. I will ask God to guide, heal, protect and give wisdom to the one I am to pray for. I will not fail in this work because the desires of my heart are literally on the line. It may seem a bit selfish of me, but it is what it is. I know my God to be Holy, and He will do what He said He will do.  So I do what I am asked.

    A man, a simple man, cannot pinkie promise without either having daughters or if he has a twin sister he is given the right to engage in such an oath. If anyone breaks a pinkie promise they are forever cast out of the trust and love of the one they broke the promise to. There is no forgiveness, not really.  If we, being just raggedy humans, can make such oaths, how much more will God's promise be worth? We can't even imagine the difference. Earth is one small stone in the scheme of things, and look what we have with it! God is too mysterious to know, but we can be assured that His promise is genuine and it is not going to be compromised ever. If He said He would walk with you in tough times, you are not alone.

    From time to time we leave the public view. We pull away from social media. We hide, and we don't want anyone out there to know what is going on in our lives. We're embarrassed. We're hurt. We're confused. We're tired.  God knows this. Even in your pulling away please remember to remember His words; let them counsel and lead you. You are loved. You are prayed for. You are cared about. You are wounded, and I understand, but you are lifted. I promise.

Photo Credit: Bibliatodo.com