I Won't Be Moving To Scotland Afterall

 After another round of Mental Mathematics in my head, I have come to the conclusion that living in the Great State of Oklahoma is probably where I'll be until Jesus comes back for me. Now, after the Tribulation, when we all come back with Christ, I may decide to settle near Edinburgh if it is still standing. I can't imagine Arthur's Seat going anywhere, but you never know, it could blow and there goes the neighborhood!  After putting the pencil to it, and doing the whole Ben Franklin Pro/Con type lists, I just can't justify leaving Oklahoma on a permanent basis for Edinburgh Scotland, or anywhere else for that matter. Boomer Sooner.

    I have gone over this a thousand times in my head and I have to be honest, I like driving my car to the nearest Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store. I like being able to drop what I'm doing and drive the said car to the Big Lot store to pick up Dr. Teal's bath supplies, or to Winco to pick up chocolate turtles in bulk.  Can you believe they're only $4.98 a pound? Seriously, you can't expect this sort of thing anywhere else.  Also, and this may or may not have much to do with anything, but so much to do with mental health, Oklahoma has (on average) more than 40 more days of sunshine than what the folks in Edinburgh receive. That's more than a month! There are another (over) 40 days that have more sunshine through partly cloudy days - - so another month or so with partly sunny days when the skies of Edinburgh seem to be overcast with grey clouds.  It really is a big deal.

    Although I HATE the heat in Oklahoma, and will likely visit my beloved Scotland during the summers, Oklahoma has warmth from April to November and we have more outdoor activities because of it. I tend to walk more than 7 miles a day in the summertime and the only way I could do that in Scotland is to go to the mall or something. I would have to be near one in order to do that, and I can't guarantee I would be able to find a place. Just finding a place is harder too. You have to pay way over the asking price to outbid someone else, and if the landlords don't want to remove their furnishings for whatever reason, you have less of a chance of being chosen to rent their lettings. It's just so different. Here, if the place is open there is a fee to pay down, and you fill out the application, you're approved, and you move in the same day you're approved.  You could wait weeks to move into an apartment in Scotland simply because landlords want the most money possible and tenants are in bidding wars; giving the landlords all they want in order to be picked! 

    Without trying to complain too much, and in doing so, I'll even place the blame squarely on myself, I will not live in a place that doesn't have a bathtub. I won't live in a place that has tiny refrigerators, no dishwashers, no dryers, and/or where people don't understand the marriage between peanut butter and jam! Seriously, did you know that the average Scot does not (on any regular basis if ever) eat PBJ sandwiches? You mention that you do, and you're stared at. This is a minute and tiny reason not to go there on a permanent basis, but it is something to think about. (Not really, but we all deserve a bit of levity)

    No, I think what it is (is) that I am really quite spoiled, and I'm so used to doing (going) what I want to do when I want to do it. If in Scotland I won't be driving and I would have to rely on public transport. For example, here I have lizards and need to run up to PetSmart to get a bunch of crickets.  I get up, go to the car, crank it over, drive to the store about 1.5 miles away and I buy the crickets. I drive back home, it takes a total of 15 minutes if I just do that.  Of course, I rarely ever just do that, I always buy a tea somewhere, or pop into another store to pick up something I may think I may need.  

    Let's pretend I just pop into PetSmart for the crickets to feed the lizards. Fifteen minutes tops is the amount of time it would take. If I were to do that same thing in Edinburgh I would have to go to the bus stop (maybe 2 blocks away) wait on the bus (they aren't usually on time) ride the bus to the store which may or may not be on the route, get out and walk to the store from the nearest stop, get the crickets, leave the store, walk to the bus stop, wait on the bus, ride the bus home, walk two blocks home - - seriously, the day is wasted! (OK, I'm exaggerating) It could take well over an hour if the store was close! What if it were further away? 

    By the time I got to my apartment, the crickets could be dead if I didn't take their carrier with me; in Oklahoma, I can drive home with them in their little plastic bag because it's only going to be 5 minutes from the store to my house. I have used the same type of scenario with me wanting ice cream, me wanting a burger, me wanting to do anything really - - I do things on the fly here - - I don't know that I could stop doing that. I don't know that I would ever want to stop doing that.  I could get a car there, but they drive on the other side, gas is higher, insurance is higher, and I'm not going to trust myself to parallel park -- it's never going to happen! I suck at it.

    There are other reasons that involve more Math.  My cost of living is lower here. The size of my house/apt for what I pay is an enormous difference and not something to be overlooked. My 1200 sf 2 bed 2 bath apartment with 2 walk-in closets is $680.00 a month, the same size unit in Edinburgh would likely not have closets, possibly not have a tub, but just a shower and a random toilet in the hall, and it could possibly be on the 4th floor without a lift to get the price down, but the price would still be twice that of what I am paying now! No thank you.  This news should make one particular Scot smile -- smile on, Tex...smile on.

    Don't get me wrong; I love love love Edinburgh. I just don't know that I could trade Oklahoma City for it on a permanent basis. Our laws are so vastly different, our expectations, our politics, our world views, and the fact that I really won't compromise my opinion, or refrain from giving my opinion if challenged.  I think it's a good thing that I just want to visit a few times, maybe even for a month each year until Jesus comes back, and then maybe, like I said, after the Tribulation, if it's still standing and I can manage the correct VISA (that's a joke) I will do it. I may even ask Jesus if I can run a doggy daycare or something relaxing - - then again, I could see myself teaching Ethics at the University of Edinburgh too.  Just sayin'.

    So, that's it then. My plan to move has been squashed and replaced with my new plan to stay put, teach, invest, buy and sell on Forex, probably buy a house, and write that murder book - - you know, the one where I throw the handsome Scotsman off the side of Arthur's Seat but I spare his guitar.  I don't do it, I'm the author, but I do know who will do it - - trust me, the boo bear could use a bit of tumble down the hillside. I just haven't decided if he actually dies or if he's found three days later by a wandering Jack Russell terrier.  So many decisions to make about this book!  OK, yep, I gotta go. I have to feed the lizards!  Num num!

Photo Credit: wallpapersdsc.net  (Blue Tongued Skink)

Words Can Hurt

 A couple of days ago I wrote a blog about having or carrying extra baggage around with you. We all do it, but for some, it seems the mere mention of it can trigger anger and upset feelings. I could say, "Buck up" or "Get over yourself", but the truth is, that there are some who are so internal with their emotions that even reminding them of their flaws seems to create a real tidal wave of frustration within them. For that, I am sorry.  What I mean when I say I'm sorry, is that I'm sorry my friend felt the way he felt after reading my words. I wasn't talking about him, per se, although for some people you can mention the slightest similarity and they are so sensitive they simply KNOW you are talking about them! This was not the case, but it did lead me to write this blog, after taking down the other one.

    I am an American, but when I get online and voice my opinion in a group that is primarily (and created for) Americans who have Scottish ancestry, I am immediately met with vicious (and I mean vicious) comments from native Scots who feel that anyone who was not born in their country can't possibly have an opinion about their country. This is so funny, as they have no problems spewing their opinions about what they think of us!  Bit of a double standard that I think I've had to accept as being normal. Their words hurt me, but I'm again, not allowed to say it without being called out as a liar or being too soft.  

    Perhaps we could all do well by just sort of prefacing our words. Perhaps I could have said, "This blog deals with unsettled feelings and things we carry around with us needlessly as humans".  This would allow someone who is overly sensitive the opportunity to bail before reading more and becoming upset.  I think the blog was meant to showcase the fact that there are OTHER people who have baggage, but that they are willing to sit with you, hold your hand, be there to listen, and just try and be comforting.  It didn't come off that way to ONE person, so since I was made aware of it, I did take that blog down. I won't be doing that in the future.  It doesn't make sense to censor your work.  It makes sense to buffer it maybe, but people do need to know there are others who will help in a crisis. (and face it, sometimes there are times when some people just need to buck up and get over themselves, as well.)

    Another thing I noticed about the blog I took down, was that while I was general in my description of my friend who lives in Texas, another friend who lives in Scotland was upset about the fact that he thought I was talking about him because the two men had similar backgrounds.  Seriously? Do you know how many singers and songwriters there are in Texas and also in Scotland? I can't go look at a house or flat for sale on RightMove without seeing a guitar or piano in the rooms! Texas, Tennessee, Oklahoma, and California produce more singers and songwriters than any other part of the world! What if I said my friend was six feet tall, had brown eyes, and a beard! He does!  He also has tattoos, he drives a Ford pickup, owns about three guns, and he has a big pit bull!  I'm just saying there's no way someone in another country should EVER accuse me of calling him out for his baggage simply because I wrote about my friend who gave me permission to talk about him without giving his name. He recognized that there will be those who relate to him and could use the help I was suggesting!

    I think my point has been made. We all have things we don't like about ourselves, and things from our past (and in the present) that we can't really deal with, but we are saddled with them. I can't change the fact that I'm divorced, but it's been 25 years.  I've never been to rehab, but I've broken down a few times and really had a time of it getting back on track. I had kids to raise, a job to keep, and an education to maintain. I sucked it up, and no it was not fun, but those kids depended on me being the strong one. Jesus had to be the strong One as I couldn't do it alone. That was my point in the blog -- it was not meant to send someone to the Moon with anger or emotions. EVERY LAST ONE OF US is carrying something. I just choose to give it up so I'm not burdened with it. The fact that I've NEVER cared what others think of me may be a good thing - - I just don't have to worry about my reputation! 

    Reputation is something you have because of what others think of you. Your character is so much more important and if we're all honest, a character flaw is worse than a rumor about you. We need to work on our characters and give up the hope of being Mr. or Ms. Popular! Who gives a damn about being liked to the point of being the social center of attention? Not me. If I make Jesus happy I'm good. He's the one that died for me so I can enter into Heaven, not these other people who couldn't hold a flame to what Christ has done for us. Anyway, I didn't mean to upset anyone, and though it is never my intention, it is still a fact that words can and do hurt, but we can't censor them or not use them. We can choose them. We can apply them, but we can't stop using them.  I won't offer an apology, but I will say that I hope I can be more thoughtful in the future. Then again, I have no idea who may or may not read the blogs, and speaking the truth is just that, speaking the truth. I'm not going to be able to please everyone. Pleasing God is enough.

Photo Credit: AskGramps.org

    

    

Weird Dream: Deception, Kiosk, Fried Chicken, and Asphalt

 You just need to really pay attention to the details when you dream because you may not remember them when you wake.  They make a HUGE difference. Let me give you an example. I dreamed another person, not me, was dressing up in a school marm dress and pretending to be pious. I wondered why it mattered, but "they", the others, were calling her out for it, and saying she was pretending to be a nun.  We all know that nuns don't dress in that fashion, but that was in my dream.  These are the things you need to try to remember because when you look it up to see what it means it really does matter who is doing what, and who is saying what about it. You (me) are the observer at times, not the participant.

    So, in my dream, I was watching the woman who was being called out at a meeting of some sort. They were telling her that she was pretending or being deceptive. She was arguing about it and saying it was her right to dress the way she wanted to. She was trying to get the attention of a man. (who would really want a delicate woman dressed in an old-fashioned dress?) She was being deceptive. That was the notable part of the dream.  I needed to pay attention as it deals with my surroundings, the people around me, and so forth. I wasn't the deceptive one, but there must be someone in my waking life who is being deceptive.

    After the meeting, of which I was a part of that, I drove to the hill to get my lunch you know. That's where they serve lunch. They served it from a kiosk and it was fried chicken and mashed potatoes. When I started to pay for it the cashier rang it up as $21.99.  I said, "No, I won't pay that, it's too much." So she put it back and I walked away. I'm not stupid! It should have been about $4.00 maybe $5.00 tops. I drove my car home and because the traffic light was red I stopped. I do that. I obey traffic rules in my sleep.  Then I turned left after getting into the middle of the intersection.  That move, according to the dream books, means that I am in the middle of the chaos of life, I see it, I manage my way through it, and I successfully meet my goals. Yea!!

    By the way, the mashed potatoes were in another dream this past week. They represent the steady and slow grind for all of your accomplishments in your job. The fried chicken was interesting. It represented the heart of the matter, the down to Earth morals and thoughts that I carry around. I think it's comfort food, a staple, and it's good for me, (maybe not the fried part) and it's good stuff, but the lady wanted way too much for it, so I didn't pay for it. I just went on my way. The hill my car had to climb was dark asphalt and again, asphalt deals with employment. It's a new road in an old place. It's a new beginning. The hill was steep! I had to really push my car hard to get to the top of it, but I did manage. I know there will be new challenges, but I'm willing to make it happen.

    I've already told you what the dream means really, so I don't have to go over it again. I think I'll be doing OK soon in my new job and I'll work through the challenges. I did buy a Ravenclaw House banner to put up in my new room. It's lovely.  I knew I was a Ravenclaw the instance I saw the Sorting Hat. I have taken about 6 different quizzes (Hogwarts games online) and each one says the same thing. I am a Ravenclaw!   I raised three Gryffindors.  Crazy.

Photo Credit: Qfeast.com

    

Weird Dream (Showers, Stars, Condom?)

 Well, well, well, here we are at another odd dream. I have them. Sometimes I can remember them, sometimes I can't. This time I saw things and I remember thinking I need to write this down and then I woke up and couldn't remember all that I wanted to write down.  Therefore, because I couldn't force myself to get out of bed to write down what it was that I saw, I will have to recall only that which I can recall.  I still think it's pretty interesting. After going through the dream books of symbols and whatnot I have come up with a fairly decent answer to any questions I may have. I can tell you this, I had NO IDEA what it meant to see a condom covering the shower head. That was a new one for me.

    I was outside. I was looking up at the skies and noticed not only that they were full of stars, but they were also becoming more and more full as I watched. More stars appeared while I stood there gazing upward.  I saw dark pretty blue clear skies with thousands of bright twinkling stars. There were no shooting stars, there were no planets such as the Moon, Venus, or Mars. I only saw the twinkling brilliant stars. Then, out of nowhere, the number three was formed in the void of stars. You could see the stars surrounding the number, and the number was visible in the blue sky.

    I then proceeded to the obstacle course which was mostly uphill.  I don't know where I was, but it was on flatland after I climbed a hill.  Then, the obstacle course had a lava rock climbing element to it that I had to master. I wasn't allowed to use any safety net, ropes, or anything. I simply had to climb to the top of the lava rock structure, and I made it! I was so proud of myself. The stars were still out and I could still see the number 3 over my head. It was time to go "back to the public place" and take a shower.  My friends were talking openly about the public place as if it were something sort of like the Public Market in Seattle. 

    I walked to the "public place" (I love how we know what it is in our dreams.) to take a shower. I didn't have a towel so I wrapped myself in my striped bedsheets.  I hung the bedsheet over the door so people would know I was occupying that particular shower stall.  I was in the shower and trying to get the showerhead to work correctly, but it was being stopped.  I couldn't figure out what was on the end, but upon closer examination, I found it to be a condom! What? Yep, a condom on the showerhead, catching the water, but not bursting.  I removed it, threw it away, and took my shower without any other hindrances.   When I was finished, I wrapped myself in my bedsheet and met my friends to go to the store. 

There you go! Certainly, that makes a whole lot of sense to anyone!

• Stars appearing in multitudes: money, fortune, good tidings, happiness
• Dark Blue Sky: Deep feelings, sentimental feelings, all-around good
• The number 3: Unity, Trinity, protection from all sides, again, good
• Uphill: I have to work for it.
• Obstacle course: self-explanatory, I have to work through the challenges
• Lava rock: Comes out of the ground, organic, from the soul, from my mind
• Making it to the top: Achieving all goals set and others expected
• Public Place: The world at large
• Bed sheet: my personal convictions
• Shower: cleaning myself of my past
• THE CONDOM? What? It represents a new job! Who the hell would have thought that? If a woman finds a condom in her dream it is not the same as if a man finds it. It was being filled up and it was for me. The world was giving me a new beginning, a cleaning, a fresh start, and the symbol was for employment. I actually accepted a new job just yesterday!
• My friends: My friends are with me through it all.
• Going to the store: Refresh, replenish, stock up.

These dreams are so much fun and I love them. I hope I keep having more. I will note that Arthur's Seat is a volcano in the middle of Edinburgh, Scotland. If I wanted to start my new challenges uphill and with lava rock that would make sense! I did get over all the humps and bumps. I did make it to the top! Woo hoo!! Let it be, Jesus!! Let it be!

Photo Credit: TripSavy.com

    

Weird Dream: Making Decisions on Tuesday

 It's kind of funny how I am now remembering the dreams I had the night before and writing them down. What I find myself doing is remembering them just as I am waking. I try to stay semi-awake to go back over them so I can recall details of conversations, colors, dates, times, and such.  Last night I had a bit of a nastier dream in terms of dealing with people. There were quite a few liars and manipulators in the dream. I was successful in thwarting any of their plans, but it was a bit crazy at times. I had to really think quickly a couple of times. I do hope most of the dream doesn't come true. I wouldn't mind the last part being real!

    There was no beginning to the dream, I was in a situation with others wherein I was being asked to sign a contract. They were being asked to do the same. We were in a group setting, and the people in charge were aimlessly walking around sort of trying to keep our eyes moving. They were trying to distract from what was really happening. There was an RV in the parking lot, and it was absolutely full of newly washed t-shirts that were new, but were not folded. They were just sort of crammed into the RV. One lady was saying there were 3600 of them, and we'd be obligated to pay for that when we signed. 

    At first blush, it looked as if it was a partnership-type contract, and my buy-in would be that I bought the t-shirts, then sold them for whatever profit I could make. That's not a bad thing, but I wasn't into selling t-shirts. I wanted to do something else.  I put the people off, and I continued the tour. I watched and observed as others signed, but I didn't want to. There was a soccer game going on, so I pretended to be interested in it so I wouldn't have to sign or be pressured into signing. 

    I left the area, but not before picking up a trashcan full of information. I said to the man who was pressuring me that I would let him know by Tuesday.  He wasn't happy with my answer and he followed me out to my car.  I left the trashcan there and drove off.  I came back later and I saw everyone sort of hanging out and talking. They had a food spread, and they were watching another game.  I took two chicken tacos and smiled. I walked away. That was it.

• RV = freedom and escape from the routine.
• T-shirts = also relaxing and a more casual way of living
• The number 3600 = 3+6 or the number 9.  Wisdom and experience
• Partnership = I didn't want to work with anyone. Just by myself.
• Soccer = UK? I love football, but am learning the game of soccer.
• Trashcan = self-explanatory.  I didn't want their trash. They were liars.
• Drove away = self-explanatory. I left them standing there.
• Came back for food = I liked the food! I didn't hate the people.
• Chicken Tacos = again, a relaxed and leisurely meal

So, all in all, I was relaxed, and this was a business negotiation. I was being considered, but I was also considering. I was not going to take them at their word. I didn't believe them. I gave them a date, Tuesday. That means I was setting timelines and goals. I made the decision to be where I wanted to be, not them. This was a dream that made me think about striking out on my own soon.

    

    When the time is right, and it will be soon, I will decide to use my own resources and be my own boss in the world of Forex. I may trade options as well. I think I will at least try to diversify and keep my own options open!!  This was a good dream. 

Photo Credit: Modelcarsmag.com

Weird Dream: Parking Lot, Blue Car, Laundry, Coins, and STUFF

 Dreams, because they are unique and often strange, can be interpreted in so many ways.  The best way to think about the meaning (or possible meaning) of a dream is to take the entire dream in context if you can and decide if it was an overall happy dream, a sad dream, a warning dream, and so forth.  This dream that I had last night was not instigated by something I ate just before bedtime. I think it's ridiculous when someone tries to analyze a dream using that sort of logic. If you don't know what you're doing when it comes to dreamscapes, it's best you don't even try.

    Dreams are found not only in the Bible but in literature and reference books as well. As long as people have been sleeping people have been dreaming. Some of us, for whatever reason, are able to remember these dreams in both vivid colors as well as in detailed details.  For instance, I know that the blue car I was driving was not just a blue four-door sedan, I know the make and model. Does that matter? It may. I don't drive an Audi, I drive a Nissan Versa.  Here we go.  Try to keep up if you can. I'll explain it at the end.

    In my dream, I drove my car (a blue four-door Audi sedan) into the parking lot of a business.  The parking lot was empty. I didn't enter it using the correct ingress, instead, I used the egress, and had to sharply turn my car's wheels, but I got into the parking lot. I had my choice of places to park, and I chose the center of the parking lot for some odd reason. You would think I would have parking closer to where I was going.  Not me. I wanted to be smack dab in the very middle.  I parked and I walked inside the building.

    Once in the building, I was doing my laundry. I hadn't brought my laundry with me, but there I was doing it.  The machine was massive and very open. I put the clothes in, and then I started looking in my big glass jar for the quarters I would need to start the machine.  The machine was actually already going at that point, but I was still looking for quarters. I found a coin in the slot, but the coin was not American. It was in fact, a square coin, it was gold, and it had the number 1 on it. That will come into play later. I'll explain.

    I dug through the coins trying to find the quarters I would need. I found a few, but I also found banana peels. I didn't find any bananas, just the peels. That was in fact odd, even inside the dream, I found that to be odd. Usually odd things in dreams don't make you flinch, but the banana peels gave me cause for pause, and I did. I moved them and picked up (and picked out) the quarters. I stacked them so I could easily put them into the slots. I took the one gold coin out, and I pocketed it. I didn't try to find the owner as it was a public place. There would be no way of knowing who it belonged to. It was now mine.

    My friend from my childhood and teen years (Kathy) was there, and she was standing with another employee. Apparently, Kathy worked there. I assured the other lady that I knew Kathy, and I told the woman that I could tell her great stories about Kathy, and what she looked like wearing mashed potatoes on her face. Yes, that is what I said. That line "I can tell you what she looks like wearing mashed potatoes on her face" was odd for a dream as well - - I told myself I needed to remember that, and I did.

    I left the building, and I was not in my car. I was walking down the road with my first boyfriend John Love. (Hi, John)  John was somewhat beside me then he was behind me. He was holding my hand and trying to help me put my red zip-up fleece jacket on; the jacket was upside down, but that didn't matter to either of us.  He took me to another building and I told him I needed to go to the bathroom.  

    I did go to the bathroom, (#2) and in the feces (sorry, it's a dream) there were pieces of corn. I don't eat corn. I've not been a corn eater for a very long time. I will eat cornbread, but the last time I had corn on the cob or corn casserole was well over 3 years ago. I just don't eat it as it's used to make pigs and cows fat, so why eat it? Why was it in my poop? I'll tell you later.  It's a good thing.

    After going to the bathroom and washing my hands (even my dreams I'm a good girl) I spoke with John about the electric panels he was working with. I tried to pick one up, but he yanked it from me and said sternly that I could not only bring something bad to the Earth, but I could also bring a demon if I didn't know what I was doing. Then he quickly apologized to me for being so blunt and aggressive. I didn't think he had been either. I thought he was just caring and concerned, maybe a bit jumpy, but he didn't upset me.  

    OK. That's the dream.  I looked up every detail I could from several places I trust with good reputations. I don't do the tarot card reading places, and if it says it is an Islamic or Hindu site I don't read from there either.

• Blue car:  transitioning into a new career and it is going to be good. The color blue is a calming color. The Audi means I'm stepping up in my career path from where I am now.
• Parking lot:  It was empty, meaning I had all the choices I wanted, and I was in charge of where I would place myself in the new position. I chose right in the center of it.
• Doing laundry: cleaning the soul and taking out the old replaced with new.
• Finding or looking for coins: If you look for them and don't find them there could be an unexpected financial loss. I found them. It is now earned rewards. The fact that I was using them to clean my soul means I'm using my own funds to better myself. 
• The square foreign golden coin with the #1?:  Forex!  It is the trading market I am learning, and it is different, wonderful, fitting, and a priority. The #1 is the priority part, and the square is the fitting part. Circles (most coins) don't really fit unless you stack them.
• The glass jar: The container of my new life. You can see through it, and it holds all I need.
• The banana peels!! This is light-hearted and hilarious. It stands for open and honest sexual encounters, lust and love, passion, and all things sexual. I had no idea.  I would have thought it would be an opportunity to slip up, but no, the banana has been peeled. It's out there and open and waiting for a taker. How fun is that? I giggled.
• My old friend? Well, like John she is a reminder of my past life. She and John represent my original thoughts and my original way of believing in myself and my dreams. Those crazy young years when nothing can stop you.
• The mashed potatoes!! This was fun too.  Mashed potatoes show you a rough but smoothing-out road to success. There will be lumps, but it's all good, and it's all worth every effort!!
• John held my hand and protected me? He is a friend, and the upside-down red jacket is also a new venture, a new life, a newness that others see in me. It's upside down because they don't understand it, but I do. It's Forex again! It's my choice to be in the money markets.
• Poop with corn? Again, money. Who knew? Corn prices represent a lot of the base markets and seeing poop is an expression of oneself. Seeing the corn is an idealistic thought about finances. They are spaced apart, which also reflects the steady and slow movement (sorry) of the new position I'm training for now. 
• The electronic panels? I was NOT in control of them. I was NOT educated about them. These are things I can't control and I have no business trying to touch them. I could cause problems if I do.  I am being warned to be careful and not to overstep my boundaries.

That was (and is) an amazing dream. I am so excited about it because I am being told both in my waking hours and in my dreams now that I will meet all the criteria I need and the doors will soon be open. I will see every goal met. I will meet them because I am working on them. I won't back down, and I won't overstep. I know where I am going - - Scotland. I know what I am doing - - trading. This is going to be the best new years ahead - - thank you, Jesus!!

Photo Credit: Pinterest 

Why I'm Not Married (Yet)

 The list of reasons I am not interested in being married is longer than the list of why I'm not married (yet).  I say "yet" because God isn't finished with me, and I could actually end up being married again if HE, God, were to decide I need to be married. I personally am not seeking a marital relationship at this time. What I am seeking is to do the things God wants, be the person God wants me to be, and if that includes being a wife, then by God, and all things Holy, they (the Trinity) will need to make that happen by opening every last door necessary; a lady never has to open doors you know. (That's a little added Southern hospitality for those of you who don't know me. I'm absolutely from the South, which is a place where we honor God and expect men to be men.)

    It won't make me the least bit popular with the women folk when I say this, but believe it or not ladies, God made the man to be the head of the family, therefore, as a wife, I would understand that. I'm not all that easy to wrangle, manage, control, or handle, so God will need to provide a man who is capable of actually performing that duty before I can submit to him as God would have me to do. First things first, he has to present me without blemish and without blame. Once he can do that, hold his hands up to God and dedicate his life to me both monogamously and show the same love for me that Christ has for the Church, I will have zero reasons not to submit to him the way a wife is intended to submit. 

    Again, I won't win any friendly smiles or nods from the ladies who have suffered at the hands of the wrong man (me included) but if I were to marry again that man (my husband) would have the final say over our finances, and that means if I am the one earning those finances, he would be given the last word there as well. That's not something most women in 2022 are willing to consider let alone do, but if God picked the man for me I would have no reason to doubt that God would also train that man in the ways and means of how to be the best decision-maker after we had dutifully (as a couple) discussed what we both this is best for our family or union. He would have the last word in all things; that's a hard thing to give up, but if you think about it, he has it so much worse than I ever would. I am only submitting to him, a man, but he (a man) is submitting to God, and he's 100% responsible for the decisions he makes, and guess what, he's (the man) responsible for the decisions I make too! He's the head of the household. It ultimately falls on him to discuss these things with me and to make sure whatever we do it's the right thing!

    I can't think of a better thing to be than free from having to be responsible for the decisions being made. I have a great mind, and I am a very very strong-willed woman, so I'm not going ot just let any ol' man come along and be the head of my household, take control of my finances, my choices, my desires, and my decisions. No, that's not what will happen. If God, and God alone, decides to make me the EXCEPTIONALLY wonderfully dutiful and respectful wife that I know I would be, and could be, He (God) will have to provide the ONE man who I can be subjected to, who I can submit to, who I can follow, who I can uplift, who I can support emotionally, spiritually, even financially if he needs to work on whatever it is that God wants him to do - - that's a very unique and one-of-a-kind man. There aren't two out there. God knows that. 

    The list of reasons I'm not married is LONG indeed, but the list can be summed up by saying this; I am not willing to submit until God brings me the one He wants me to submit to. I won't be doing the choosing if there is another one.  Nope! He'll be dropped in my lap, and I've said it before; God will write "This one's for you Jude, you're welcome" in purple lettering on some random wall.  He'll make it so clear that I won't even have to wonder -- don't you kinda feel sorry for that guy right now? I mean, he's possibly out there minding his own business, just going what he thinks God wants him to do, and maybe he's thinking he can't do it alone, and maybe he could use a really good wife to both help him and support his passion for the ministry God has chosen him for. Don't you think he's gonna be in for the shock of his life if he does ask God for me? LOL...I mean, he may not realize it's me, but yeah, God will know. 

    To be honest, I think I'd be OK with it.  I know I've learned a great deal from life and could be the helpmeet someone needs; love will grow.  Honor, respect, communication, all of that will happen -- if it is to happen.  The list is short really, it's because God hasn't said yes yet - - just "wait" and when He says to wait it's a yes just waiting to manifest -- So yeah, I'm open for a discussion on the matter (as long as the man is right with God and right for me...and has a guitar. There will be a guitar in this union, or else, I'm not doin' it! I've gone long enough without one! I can't play one, but I damn sure want to listen to one being played!) Smiles. There will be dogs too, and chocolate. There will be kilts, there will be coffee, there will be beaches, and there will be beards. There will be great sex, and....did I say that out loud? Well, I should probably stop before I truly say what I want to say - - I do that from time to time, but it's OK, God will tell the man that too. He'll know. He may already know. Who knows? (God knows.)

Photo Credit: dreamstime.com

The Blood of a Lamb

 Just this past week I was reading an article about how a lamb or sheep in a woman's field had been severely bitten by a rattlesnake!  The poor sheep was in terrible pain, and though she swelled up and could hardly move for 2 days, going into the 3rd day she revived.  Not only was she able to return to the herd, but she also seemed stronger, even more, "alive" if you will. Her attitude (did you know animals have attitude?) seemed to be uplifting.  What happened? The woman said she never took the sheep to the vet because when she called the vet she was told that the blood of a sheep can actually neutralize the venom of a snake! WHAT? Say that again, but this time, say it with a Biblical inflection.  The Blood of The Lamb neutralizes the bite of the Serpent!

    God is so so so so so wonderful. He did this on purpose folks!! I am and have been, a Baptist all of my life, but I never knew this to be so. I am flat-out amazed, and I'm humbled to the point of tears just relaying the facts.  God, in His infinite wisdom, created the anti-venom materials needed to sustain the bite of a poisonous snake inside the body of a lamb!  It just goes to show you that He knew all along what His plan was for Christ. He knew all along what His message was for us.  God (through the Creator side, Jesus) made the sheep and He made the serpent KNOWING that the blood of the lamb would prevail.  I am raising my hands, but when I do that I have to stop typing! 

    So overwhelmed am I, that I have been tweeting, texting, calling, and bothering just about anyone who will agree to listen to me. I am just blown away by this fact.  It could not be more clear.  It does make me wonder why the damned serpent we call Satan chose the snake as a means to lull and lie to Eve if he also knew what could and would happen.  I can only imagine there would be sheep in the Garden of Eden were he to bite one or the other of the first couple.  It also blows me away that Jesus created the trees that would become His cross. He allowed them to be watered, to have sunlight, to thrive and grow strong; strong enough to hold a man's full weight as He was nailed to it and bled for my (our) sins. People say "He could have called 10,000 angels" but you know what, He could have just skipped that seed altogether and that tree would never have been planted!

    Most of my ancestors are from the UK area, mainly Scotland, but also England. This is where an amazing new anti-venom testing and study is taking place. More than 2000 sheep are injected with venom on a monthly basis, and one of the main (main) reasons the study is allowed to continue is that the blood never fails to do its job.  Did you hear that? The Blood never fails.  Oh, I am just so happy right now, and I'm thinking more people need to hear this. I think I'll send my blog to about 1000 churches this weekend to see if any of them wish to do a bit of research on the matter and do a bit of educating - - and witnesses, all at the same time.

Here is an article that talks a bit about it. You can find more. Be blessed. Be covered! The Blood of the True Lamb covers every sin. 

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2005-05-23/sheeps-blood-provides-rattlesnake-anti-venom/1576314?utm_campaign=abc_news_web&utm_content=link&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_web

Photo Credit: FBCTexarkana.org

Weird Dream - Ships/Windows/Kyle Wesley

 Let me preface this by saying I seem to have very odd dreams, but I do remember them. I do remember details, and I also remember words, things I've said, things said to me, numbers, etc.  That being said, let's just jump into it.  My friend Niki told me that when you jump into the middle of a story, not at the beginning, it's called "in media res" that sounds cool. Let's dive into the middle, shall we?

    I was in a place with a man, he was my boyfriend, and he called himself Mike, but I knew that wasn't his name. He told people he was from Dublin, and I knew that wasn't true either. I wasn't really impressed with the guy, so when he was flirting with another woman I looked him in the eyes (he was actually wearing sunglasses) and I said "Let me make it easy for you" and I walked away. I was wearing a really pretty black sleeveless dress, and I sort of jogged home. I used the highway to find my way home.  

     I was about to arrive home when I saw a young woman who was blond and small. The woman had a baby in her arms. She told me his name was Kyle Wesley. The woman handed me her baby. He was wearing a white crocheted outfit. She wanted me to adopt him. She couldn't afford to keep him. I told her I would. I then found myself handing him back to her and she had a man with her, perhaps the father. I was super happy they wanted Kyle back, and we prayed together. That made me happy. 

    I never made it home. I was now on a ship, not a boat, but a cruise ship and I was with my friends Niki and Jeannie. We needed to get to the other side. We HAD to get there. Suddenly it was imperative that we make it over there, and they lifted me up and I found myself standing on them to reach a window.  They weren't in danger or peril, it wasn't even hard for them to lift me. I was asking the people on the other side of the window to let me in, but they couldn't. It wasn't that they wouldn't, they actually couldn't.  I had to do it.  I began shielding Niki and Jeannie with my shirt and I broke through the thick glass with a stick or something. It took a while.

    After breaking the glass, I pulled the window out of the frame, and the frame came apart I was having to pull more than I thought I needed to, but I finally got it off and open so I could crawl through it. Niki and Jeannie went on their way. I was the only one to go through the window. There, on the other side was broken clear glass, but it wasn't hurting me or anyone. I picked it up.  A man, the captain probably, who was named Donald, was asking me why I didn't use the door. I told him there was no door. I could only use the window and I had to break it. He argued, but he realized I was right and he apologized.

    While I was talking to the others on the other side of the glass where I was now, I said "I know Oprah Winfrey so my story will be told".  They were happy to know it. As I was talking I had to pull the glass from my throat, but it wasn't hurting me. I wasn't in danger, it was just there.  I was told I needed to go to the doctor's office to be checked so I could continue the trip.  The doctor was in room 210.  His office was down a floor, so I took the stairs and noticed I was in a pink party dress now. I stopped by the staircase and had my photo taken before going to the doctor's office.

    I arrived at the doctor's office but instead of a door it was a gate, and animals were on the other side. He was a veterinarian rather than a GP, but he was nice and he let me pet all the animals. I saw a Haflinger horse, a cow, a lamb, a dog or two, and several cats, all lined up on the floor ready to be petted.  He gave me a plant and told me I was fine!  This is the last thing I remember before waking up.

    After looking up all the meanings and going through them to see what I thought was the gist of the dream, I can say that I'm on a journey, I'm going alone, leaving my friends, and I'm happy to be standing on my own two feet, holding my ground, standing up for myself, and taking control of the situation at hand.  The name Kyle Wesley literally means "Narrow Meadow to the West"  Interestingly, there is a larger park in the center towards the west side of Edinburgh City Centre called The Meadows. It is rather long and narrow.  Could that be where I'm going? I accepted it and gave it back to the owners/parents. I didn't keep it. I went on to another place.

    The number 210 is said to be a number of gratitude. To be happy with what I have and not to seek more or try to overdo it.  I'm OK with that too. I want to be content. The party dress and the elegant dress were nice, they show that I am preparing myself for a trip, a journey, something fun, and adventurous.  The ship is literally a relaxed way of cruising through my waking hours, but I must break through new windows to be where I need to be and again, alone, not with friends or family. 

    Speaking about knowing Oprah (I have met the woman) is probably more or less saying I have connections, and I'll be OK wherever it is that I go. I don't have problems finding new friends or acquaintances. I make sure I stay connected.  Basically, I think the white crocheted outfit could mean newness, innocence, first time there, that sort of thing, and that makes sense. I could also be thinking of going to another place where I haven't actually been.  We'll have to see.

    As for the doctor and the last things I saw, the animals? I think the doctor represented authority to say it's OK, you check out, you're fine, you'll make it. The plant represented new beginnings, and strong life and the animals I saw are farm-type animals, friendly and helpful. The several cats lined up for their petting was fun, it was sort of saying we're all in line now, just as you wanted us!  I'm thinking this is a good dream about my future plans to move to Scotland and just be happy and healthy, on my own, standing up for myself, and doing what I need to do to find new friends, new everything - - the journey is mine to take!

Photo Credit: Unknown / Etsy

    

Poetry - Writers

 I can't say with any certainty, how many poems I've written in the 784 years I've been alive. It's at least once a year, I can tell you that. There's no way I can possibly remember the words to every one of them; let alone the message I may have been trying to convey.  I will say this, I laugh at times when I find myself reading a poem I find in a box lost somewhere in my house or attic and then find myself saying "Oh, I think I like that" when I wrote it. I laugh. I do.  I wonder if other people do that or is it's just me. I wonder if there are people who can remember that they actually penned the words when they did it, why they did it, you know - - memories? 

    I came across a poem I wrote in the early '80s the other day and I thought about it. I thought I should publish that, but then I realized I did publish it! I not only published it in a newspaper I put it in my poetry book titled "Periwinkle".  I'd like to re-do that book if only to take out the thoughts I wrote about the title poem. I no longer feel the way I do about the man I wrote the poem for. I was never in love with him. I in fact, never loved him at all in any way, but I really can't say I even have respect for him at this point and there I am now, in perpetuity being all kind and nice -- dang it. 

    Let me see if I can make things a bit more clear for anyone out there who doesn't know me. I am a poet. I am a writer. I am a storyteller. I am an author. At any moment (whatsoever) I could spontaneously burst into words...either spoken or written. When I get upset, pissed off, mad, or otherwise angry I can write words that cut through and leave no trace of life; I destroy and destroy utterly.  Thank God for that delete button.  Thank God for erasers.  When I am happy, when I am in love, when I am fantasizing, my words can lift and create life itself. There are new colors and hues of romance as well as extemporaneously vivid genesis! I become the keeper of flames, the bringer of passion -- I'd rather be happy I think.

    Today, I will leave you with a word or two I wrote in 2020 while praying and asking God to show me His mercy as I wondered about the future of my life here on this Earth.

    "Will I be a wife again, can I bring my heart to think it?

Will there be a moment when my soul receives a kiss?

Could I know again, the panting, the whispers of  enchantment

Are there words of hope waiting, somewhere in the mist?"

Who knows? Only God can answer that one. If it is to be it will be. I will certainly not seek it on my own. I've done enough damage in that area of my life. I will simply say that the ink in my pen and the blood in my veins would be pumping at the same time if it were so -- let the words commence God if it is your will. Let me know your will.  Ephesians 5 tells me a bit of what to expect, but it's a very sharp two-party sword that one. Not only does it cut both ways, but it also unites in a way that only God can.

Let the words stir in my head and in my heart -- awaiting their release.

Photo Credit: publishedtodeath.com