Permanent Decisions

Caity Baby's new tattoo! (Yes, it's in Hebrew)

Caity is never one to shy away from the idea of a new and exciting, albeit permanent, tattoo for herself. This one which is plainly running the length of her back reads "Lord Give Me Strength". Now, if you happen to read and/or speak Hebrew and you feel that Caity really has something less profound advertised on her naked spine, please feel free to write to let us know. I somehow think it would be hilarious if what she is now claiming to be a desire of her heart to follow God more closely ended up being something less spiritual and more carnal like "God, Get Me Out of This Mess!" (translations are roughly the same)

Caity simply doesn't have the pain threshold that most normal humans have. It's just such a waste that she can't go into the Armed Forces, they could use her as a human guinea pig for so many things and she would smile right through it. Heck, the girl has a "Shhh" tattooed on the inside of her lower lip! OUCH! NO really Caity, OUCH!!

In order to assure that what she was having etched into her body was really the words she wanted to have carved into her forever, Caity asked our family Facebook friend Arbel Sapir, who happens to be Israeli and living in Israel currently, to write out the words and to send them to her by e-mail so she could print them out and take it to the tattoo guys - - who by the way, talked her out of having them written as a larger chest piece. THANK YOU to my two new favorite men in the world at Ink Spot Tattoos in Ardmore, Oklahoma. Look them up, they're awesome.

If I were to have something in another language (besides the one Kanji symbol on my wrist that reads "DREAM" that I had tattooed for my daughter Laura who was too scared to have it put on herself) placed permanently on my body, I can see where down the spine would be good. It would mean something - - like Caity's, about having back-bone, power, strength. I'd probably have it written in Hebrew as well, it seems to be God's chosen language afterall -- I'd have something simple and beautiful like "Mercy" or "Forgiveness". It would cost less and be that much less painful to me - - My 3-minute "DREAM" about killed me. My ex-student did it, and he laughed at me because I screamed out the f-word. He was saying "OMG! I made the teacher cuss! hahahaha" Yeah, OK...sure, there's that! Whatever!

Anyway, I'm just saying, the whole tattoo thing is so ... real, so permanent! I just think it's ....no, I know, it's too addictive! You get one and then you get another one, and then you start thinking about the next one, and bam! You're asking Facebook friends to write out something in God's words! Well, I have to admit it, she looks great in ink. Not something I say often.

Jude's Almost Daily Blog: Postcards from Iraq

Jude's Almost Daily Blog: Postcards from Iraq

The Soldier's Achilles Heel

My son and I

http://alisecuaphotography.com/gallery/

My official photographer for the past year has been Anthony Tortoriello (atortphotography.com) however, this beautiful photographer, has created a portfolio of images online that warrant being shared by everyone. I only choose this particular picture to emphasize her passion, believe me, there are some absolutely gorgeous photos at www.alisecuaphotography.com/gallery. Thank you Alise.

Alise calls this photo "Farewell", but I must call it "The Soldier's Achilles Heel" as the boy not recognized, the soldier not named, represents the very reason our men and women are standing to protect us in lands very far away - - but so very close to each of us. If you are one of the lucky ones and your son or daughter, husband, wife, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, or friend is not perpetually wearing a uniform, you still understand the passion of our nation's great military - - Today our Armed Forces have what my son refers to as an "over capacity". They are at 200% retention - - where our current government and leaders are publicly urging and even promising that our soldiers will come home - - the soldiers aren't leaving. More and more men and women who signed up for 3 or 4 years are resigning and re-upping in order to finish a personal goal, or a personal mission they don't feel is up to the government to mandate.

My son stands in Iraq tonight. He holds a rifle in his hands at all times. I'm told that if he doesn't have it he must be on leave and hold a written pass to excuse him from not being armed. I'm told also that he wears something else, something not military issue: his smile. Baby boy as I call him, Spc. Reuben Stringfellow, has this thing that can't be explained - - he seems to love his duty, he knows his time is almost up. He struggles with the decision whether to re-up or come home; and although I believe his mind is made up, and that come Christmas we will hold our soldier forever in our arms and home - - having lent him to the world at large, and more specifically to our country, he will return.

This decision is not an easy one to make. Military personnel pulling from one side, lovers, friends, children, parents, and others pulling on the other - - most of the ones resigning have less family back home it is true. Most of the men and women deciding to protect me - - don't have a mother like me. Those that choose to stay behind or "over there" and protect my daughters..don't have daughters; their families and the military are one in the same.

The next time you happen to be in an airport - - oh, and you see that little boy laughing and running between his father's uniformed legs, please pray for that man. If you see a woman, hair tucked up, tears held back, as her little one hugs her goodbye but can't get their little arms around her because Mommy is wearing 40-50 pounds of extra gear - - say a prayer for her; it's the hardest most heart-tearing decision she will ever have to make; but she made it for you.

To my son, to the men and women I see and don't see who choose to love me and choose to protect me - - Godspeed and much love. Thank you.

My Daughter Laura's Wild Ass - A repost

    This is a real picture of the donkey-like Somali Wild Ass that my daughter Laura calls "hers". The ass actually lives at the Oklahoma City Zoo, and it may interest you to know that I've lied to my daughter for more than 10 years now regarding her ass! I have been lying to my kids for years, and the funniest thing about this fact is that they lie right back to me, and we all know what the jig is. I will look Reuben squarely in the face at times and tell him that he was misdelivered in 1986 to my house - the address on the stork's package clearly said the street just to the north of us, but I wanted a baby! I wanted a baby boy, so I took him! 

    I never had any intention of giving him back, and I moved immediately so that no one would find me - but, I go on to tell him, that I still have the address and the receipt for his delivery that fine March afternoon, and that if he doesn't clean his room RIGHT NOW, I have every notion to send him right back to where he came from! Well, it's the same with Laura's ass. She was 8 years old and had learned a new word at school. The word, you guessed it - ASS.

     She had been called a stupid ass by a kid on the playground, and she began crying about it. I told her, "Laura, there are no stupid asses - asses are little donkey-like horse things, and they live all over the world - they travel well, they help people, they make very little fuss - to be honest, I don't think God ever made a smarter animal!" She believed me. BUT, she wanted to see for herself. So, I did what I always do in these situations - I called the Zoo for verification that they had a donkey-type animal there so that I could prove to my kid that she wasn't actually supposed to be upset when someone called her a donkey, horse, burro - whatever...an ass. 

    We made it to the Zoo, and there you go. One solid, beautiful, fun to stare at ASS. I even lied to my daughter, telling her that the Zoo was going to give it to her for her 9th birthday if she would only do all of her homework for the next 6 weeks. She knew full well that I was lying through my teeth - she looked at me, and she rebutted, "Mom, the Zoo called and said that I could take my ass home with me if I wanted to." I told her she could do whatever she wanted to with her ass, it was her ass, and if she thought it best to sleep with her ass, she should do it, she should feed her ass, she should water her ass, she should even play with her ass - it was HER ass! She thanked me, begged me for ice cream, and we left the Zoo - happy.

     Today, 10 years later, Laura is calling my bluff. She knows the Zoo has two Somali Wild Asses, and she wants one for real. She's almost 18, and I told her today that I would love to buy her a new ass but that it was cost-prohibitive to do so. She would need a permit to host her ass, and if her ass refused to stay with her, she would have to board her ass. I asked her if she wanted to leave it at the Zoo and maybe just visit her ass from time to time, but she was insistent - saying she didn't like random, unknown people staring at her ass - and maybe it would be best to keep it closer to home. I love my kid. 

    She sees things from the same colored glasses I do, and makes life THAT much easier to cope with. What Laura doesn't know is that the Zoo has told me where I can actually pick up an ass for about $2000, and the only permit I would need would be an exotic animal permit, costing somewhere between $300 and $500. When you think about it, that's not too much to pay for a new ass, not in Oklahoma...I've seen much more expensive asses in Beverly Hills, NYC, Chicago, for instance - no land really. 

    Can you imagine keeping your ass on concrete? No, you need lots of space to run your ass, and you really should have a durable fence line too - Laura's ass is very very important to me, I don't want it to get out, or worse - get into the wrong hands! We'll know more about the probability of getting her what she wants a little closer to May 7 - until then, her ass must stay exactly where it is! (If you want to take a look at my daughter's little ass - it will cost you about $6.00 for an adult, and the good news is, every kid in the world can look too! It's a beautiful thing! (She named it Mystique) (Originally posted 2007)

Intentional Prayer - Intentional Living - Powerful Stuff

I was raised a Baptist in a southern state. Albeit, Oklahoma is considered a southwestern state, and in fact is the furthest northern southern state there is, it is still quite southern and often a little behind the times in change when it comes to spiritual expression.  If I had told my pastor at the Windsor Hills Baptist Church, that I was praying with rocks in my hand, he may have called me a demon and tried to exercise the Devil out of me in front of the congregation.  He was the type that would have videoed it and made sure he was showing his best side when he did. I don't pray like he prays. I pray to God.

I was born on a Wednesday and in church by Sunday morning, if the tells you anything about my Christian upbringing. My grandmother Edwards would have walked me to church on a daily basis if her hip wasn't so bad. She was about 70 when I born, so as I aged she aged and it was up to my cousins and my own parents to see to it that I was taught correctly about Jesus, the stories of the Bible, and the manners in which a good southern gentle girl was expected to live. This one was a little different. I have always been a seer, I see things. I feel things, I know things. I don't know how or why, but I can tell you that the first time I brought my guardian angel up in Sunday School I was told I was never to do that again. I needed to wash that thought right out of my head with soapy water if I needed to. Angels may exist of course, they told me, but we weren't actually able to see them!  (They may not be able to, I thought, but I do. He's MY angel.)

I knew about my personal guardian angel when I was very young. I named him Sam because he was my friend and I saw him, felt him, talked with him, conversed with him, listened to him, and he has never left me - - but there were many years that as a fool I listened to others and ignored Sam so that I wouldn't look out of place, or be called a "weirdo" by my peers. That was MY mistake. I knew Sam was still on my left side. I felt him there, but I wasn't going to be THAT person I didn't make a big deal out of it.

 Today I hold rocks in my hands when I pray (just one really) because my Bible tells me that rocks are alive and that they will praise God if I forget to. The Bible also assures me that angels come to us in our lifetime and we don't know it, but it doesn't mean that we can't see and know them when they do reveal themselves. Rocks are conduits to the earth and to Heaven, they had to come from somewhere and I believe they came all at the same time when God said "Let there be Light". 

In my spirit I pray to the Lord YHVH and I do so through Christ. I don't believe I am able to pray to Him without Christ, but that is my belief, and I would not force it on another. I hold the rocks to reassure and to remind me that we each have a different and colorful purpose. Why would He make one rock this color, another one stronger, another one only to be found in certain places? In my spiritual path and/or journey recently. I don't do the Eastern religious paths such as Chakra, that would be wrong.

 Psalms. 37:4 ("Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of you heart") is a very strong and powerful truth. I know it to be very very true. Just a few years back I dreamed that Faith (my dog) should be seen throughout the world, and everyone should know that a dog is important to God just as they are important to Him. I wanted the world to know the story, the message of being willing to accept help and the message of being willing to give help when it is needed. The two-fold message of my dog Faith is very real, it is very necessary, and it is very easy to grasp - - do the right thing; help someone. I find that when I make myself available to help others my soul is blessed - - I find peace. The practice of intentional prayer is very very powerful.I don't want to be angry, I don't want to be unforgiving, I want to be ego-free and 100% accepting to whatever I'm suppose to do. 

This is not an easy thing for a woman, a Celtic woman, a Scorpio Celtic woman, but God is awesome as I say, and He was able to show me where to begin my journey - - at the first step. I prayed with rocks for years and I will never stop. I pray with honesty, and I will never stop or compromise that. I pray asking for very very (oh so very) specific things - - and I believe it has already been given.  I put on the incense for sensory pleasure, maybe a little Celtic flute music for the ears, but my focus is in the prayer and the intention of what it is that I desire. I can not live for you. I can not think for you. I can not ask for you, but in this very same vein of thought - - you will never think or feel for me. In fact, trying to will only alienate you from my soul; I would rather release you as being negative energy than to argue and keep you close to me. Prayer is personal, though we often pray for others.

 Because I know what I have come to believe I know that I will never not believe it. What I have asked for I already have in my heart - - and this is good. Powerful? Very. Intentional? Absolutely. Freedom in our spirits is our right - - I choose to be rooted in Christianity, but that doesn't mean I don't see angels and talk to rocks...maybe you could try it. Let's go Sam! (Psst...Sam's real name is Theonopholus).

Postcards from Iraq

It can't all be fun and games in the "Sand Box". Sometimes a man (and/or woman) has to work for a living and do what is needed to be done to protect our nation from the wars that are at hand.

Here in these photos you see clearly that these four man are up to the challenge of being 100% focused on their particular duties. At times our nation's best is required to guard the most dangerous of posts including the backyards of the ally-Iraqi forces just incase a bad guy comes across the fence line and steals a pair of trousers for their own kid! In another shot you see that the Americans are completing their rosters by hiring dual citizens to act upon the nation's great need to have the Mexican-Americans of our great country represented in this war - - armed to the teeth, but ready to party at any given moment!

Reuben's friends and buddies in the war will forever be in his heart and on his mind when he leaves Iraq in just a few more weeks. He may never actually see these guys again, so taking wild and wonderful photos of them relaxing and just goofing off is a great way to remember the lighter side of war! I mean, sure you have missions and you have to blow things up, bust things down, roll over things, and keep your head down at times. Sure, you can't really change out of your uniform unless you're taking a shower and then sometimes taking a shower IN your uniform can take care of the laundry needs as well as getting clean...that makes perfect sense to me, and why not, boys will be boys... and no, I'm not forgetting the women in Iraq, it's just that there are none where Reuben is, and that sometimes leads to the strange behavior I hear about at 3:12 in the morning - - not that I can understand a word out of my son's mouth while he's scream/laughing at me, but he sends pictures to explain it, which is always good.

The kid with the little robot tinker toy thing - - not my son. My son would have built his out of bright plastic Legos and had an OU painted on the side of it. You can't see the OU on the side of his actual tank that he's popping out of to wave to the camera, but just imagine it there - - he didn't please the General, but at least the enemy knows he won't stop - won't ever stop...Boomer Sooner!

Have fun kid, I'll miss you when you go back. Send photos...call later in the day!

Let There Be Love - R.I.P. "Cookie"

Cookie - 6 weeks old 2008

Cookie came to us because Caity had a friend whose mother's two rescue Dachshunds had babies. When people saw Cookie they just KNEW she was a registered dog, one we MUST have paid an enormous amount of money for - - nope, quite the opposite. She was a full blooded Dachshund, and she was a rare and unique colored dog as well, but she was indeed a gift. A gift of love that will forever live on in our lives and our hearts.

There are good and great people in this world, and there are evil men and woman as well. The fact remains that good will always triumph, and it has, but to be fair to our existence we must understand that trusting the wrong person can lead to heartache and even in Cookie's case, death.

My daughter and I decided that yesterday's one-year anniversary of the murder of her little dog should not be a sad event. It should only be, and always be a day of celebration, one which opens up our hearts even further each year to allow more love and more joy to be brought and shared to the world through the eyes and barks of a little yellow dog - - a baby forever. We celebrated with songs and words, we called our friends and reminded them to think of Cookie and to try to share with at least one person the facts surrounding her death, so as to keep it close to us that being vigilant and being wise is important.

A little over a year ago Caity received Cookie. She meant everything to her. When Caity refused to date a certain man, and to follow him down a path of self destruction including but not limited to doing drugs, this man chose to hurt Caity very personally - - he kidnapped our little Cookie and he killed her. To make matters worse he tormented Caity for weeks about his actions and of course we followed through with any legal action we could to prevent him from coming near us and/or being able to hurt us further. Unfortunately, Cookie's life was taken - - but her soul remains constant. Her dear sweet face and actions caught in photographs and on video. She was laid to rest at my mother and father's house along side many loved and cherished pets.

This is not a sad blog - - indeed it is an informative one. If you do nothing else today remember please that you can make decisions about who you let into your home, into your life, and into your heart. Take the extra time it takes to be sure the ones you surround yourself with are good and that they have clean hearts. Cookie's life will forever be linked to an evil act, but her soul remains free to remind us to be forgiving; she awaits us as all other passing pets do - - in a Glorious Heaven!

Rest in Eternal love and peace sweet puppy.

WHOA!!! What a dream.
I woke up thinking I didn't need coffee today, and maybe I shouldn't have drunken it that late at night either. BAM! I was up and running in a physical competition. I was on the obstacle course, I was winning. I did actually win, and the contestant sponsors got it on tape. I was running and climbing a make-shift rope but then I just jumped to the top of it when I found good footing. I somehow propelled myself to the top. At first I thought I cheated because my hands and feet didn't touch each rung but they were jumping up and down and proclaiming me the winner, so there you go. I wanted to go home so naturally I jumped on my black horse and rode off! Naturally.

I love those dreams, and I love the ones where I'm doing upside down gymnastics - suspended hand-springs and such. I can always spot myself in those dreams as I'm the on going extra slow and showing off my talents to do a particular feat...that's how I know it's a dream and I catch myself and say "OH, you're dreaming...do it again." I have always had lucid and vivid dreams, dreams that are in color and more important to me; dreams that have a beginning, a middle and an end. Like a play or a movie. It helps me determine their final meaning when I can wake up write out everything that happened and pick it apart on www.dreammoods.com and other sites. (I have a deck of cards I use too that are helpful and pretty)

So, let's take a look at what Dreammoods said!

"Jumping
To dream that you are jumping, indicates that you need to take a risk and go for it. You will find progress toward your goals. Consider the metaphors "jumping for joy" or "jumping the gun". How you feel in the dream will provide additional significance and meaning to your dream.

Rope
To dream that you are climbing up a rope, represents your determination to succeed and overcome adversity. It may also denote your climb to the top.

Competition
To dream that you win a competition, suggests that you possess the necessary skills to accomplish a goal or solve a problem in your waking life.


Horse
To see a horse in your dream, symbolizes strength, power, endurance, virility and sexual prowess. It also represents a strong, physical energy. You need to tame the wild forces. The dream may imply that you have been horsing around. (Black Horse: To see a black or dark horse in your dream, signifies mystery, wildness, and the unknown)"

YEP...that's what's going on right now and WRITE now. I'm writing my new book, I'm working on the movie ideas for it too. I'm jumping into worlds of entertainment and business that I'm not familiar with, but I trust the men and women surrounding me who are! I really am having the best time and I think it's all a result and a manifestation of intentional thinking, intentional believing, intentional desire, and intentional planning. PEOPLE - - do what you want to do and do it with intention! Karma of course is everything - - pay it forward and pay it forward often. .... and .... DREAM it into reality.

Jury Duty - Texas Style!

I am not kidding - I registered to get my driver's license in the state of Texas on a Friday and by the next Thursday I had been summons to appear in Municipal Court in Gainesville, TX where I live, for jury duty.

Granted, when you're called to jury duty in Gainesville it's a lot like being called to the Principal's office to do a good deed for the school. I didn't feel put upon, I didn't feel that I was singled out or held responsible for anything. I wasn't being punished or blamed for anything - - jury duty is a civil duty, and it's something that can ONLY be done by free people in a free country. Having said that, I will be honest and add that I was glad it didn't start until 1:30 in the afternoon because I had a few things I had to take care of today. For starters it is my daughter's 20th birthday. I had to make a cake, and I was wanting to take her to lunch, but that was thwarted by a Brazilian TV station that decided to push my interview from Friday to Thursday and squeezing the producer into my schedule meant letting the kid wait - - I'll take her out tonight.

So, I went to court after the shoot for the TV show and as soon as I showed up I was the talk of the room. Gainesville is a small place, and word that my name was drawn made it through the ranks of women who know these things - - hell, the ladies at the driver's license office probably called their friends at the courthouse and made it happen! Anyway, I teased the judge before we came to order and told him I was being talked about unfairly by ladies on the "other" side of the room. They were 10 feet away laughing. He made them fess up to what they were discussing and of course it was my dog Faith. After answering a few questions for the court and the would be jurors we were given our instructions, sworn in, and then questioned by the prosecuting attorney for the purpose(s) of eliminating as many of us as possible. They had called 38 and only needed a maximum of 12 people to talk to. Six people (the first six not eliminated) would sit the jury, and I was number 36. I felt pretty confident that I would walk out in a few minutes time.

Questions were asked and we all tried our best to answer them honestly. This was a municipal court where Class-E misdemeanors with fine-only charges would be heard. The one I would have heard if I hadn't been eliminated - - oops, just spoiled it huh - - was a guy with a commercial driver's license ran a stop sign and was now facing a $200 fine, but of course he wanted evidence. He must have felt pretty good about his case, he didn't have an attorney present - - deciding to represent himself. (Doesn't he watch Court Tv?) LOL

Juror #36 was called, that's me, and questioned as to why I wasn't registered to vote in the state of Texas. I approached the bench as I'm suppose to, and I testified that I was from the (and I said it out loud) "GREAT State of Oklahoma", but that I was required by Texas law to have a driver's license in the state of Texas if I was living here for more than 30 days. I was asked how long I would be residing in Texas. I answered that I would be here long enough to do the movie about my dog, the editing, and possibly through the event of the premiere, and if that took place on time I would be in Gainesville until about June 2010. The judge, a very kind, (good looking man) around the age of 40 asked me another question. He leaned back in his wooden rocking chair - - did you read that - - his wooden rocking chair, and he asked "You don't hold any grudges against the state of Texas do you? Something that may have occurred say, last fall?" He was referring to the OU/TEXAS football game where Texas referees STOLE the game from us Sooners and gave a BUTT-Down to the Texans calling it a TOUCH DOWN. No hard feelings here right? I looked the judge in the eyes and said as sweetly as I could "No Your Honor, the fact that Sam Bradford won the Heisman last fall was completely warranted." (Sam is from OU in case you're not from around these parts, and Texas had their man McCoy in the runnings for it.)

I was dismissed...with a laugh from the judge and the others in the court room. I'm sure I'll get the summons again - - real soon.

Boomer Sooner!

Buying the Bike

I do NOT have to grow up! There is no sense to that.

Just because I'm 47 years old doesn't mean I have to act old, be old, look old, or stop playing. I'm into being me not into being a number. My idea of getting around has changed back to the way I got around when I was 10. I'm going to walk and ride my bike. I don't have a bike right now, so I'll be getting one this weekend. I wish I could find a Banana Seat bike like I had in 1970. That would be great. I named her Nancy and she was teal - - she had a pretty flowered seat, streamers of course, and I put that playing card in the spokes like I was suppose to. My mother caught heck for that because it meant she let us kids actually play with cards! Wow...to think now that I could have really played my life away and become a Texas Hold 'Em star! That would have shown those Baptists a thing or two! HA!

I have a couple of Big Sisters and one of them, Andie, had the really cool old-fashioned (at the time it was new) bike. She looked like she was stylin' on that big thing. I was jealous...but couldn't imagine life without Nancy. Since I'm old enough to work and pay for my own bike now, I'm thinking the middle road will do. I'm going to the bike store Friday and just picking out a middle of the road job with a big fat seat for my big fat seat! Should be fun. I've been riding a recumbent bike for years, a stationary thing. It's time I actually got up and went somewhere - - I may be totally into it and buy a basket so I can carry my fruits and vegetables back from the corner produce market. That's the way to embarrass the hell out of the kids! YES! I'm doing it. A horn would be an extra bonus.

While I was at the store today picking out the bike I wanted, I saw a kid across the way playing in her yard, blowing bubbles and giggling out loud trying to catch the big ones. I loved her smile! I drove straight to Target and bought a big red bubble wand - $1.00. Good to see some things never really go up in price. Fun is one of them. I've been entertaining my boss and the director all afternoon. They just shake their heads and smile - - and that makes me happy.

Why grow up? Old people do that! NOT ME!