The Edge

This is the vehicle! This is the one I'm going to buy when I can. Money is always the reason behind why I don't purchase something immediately. I'm not only an impulse shopper, I'm a dogmatic shopper. I see what I want, know that I want it, and if I can afford to do so, I buy it. Because I'm rarely wrong about any basic or complicated decision that I make - I usually end up on top. So, since money is currently the only thing stopping me from owning the light blue 2008 Ford Edge of my dreams, please (anyone) step in and feel free to plop down that $36,000 for me. You can reach Mr. Al "G" at Reynolds Ford in Oklahoma City to solidify the contract. He'll have the suv delivered, and I will surely thank you. (LOL) Just incase you're truly interested, you can reach Al "G" at Reynolds Ford by calling: (405) 728-2411 so you can put in that order.

I picked the Edge over the Nissan Murano, over the Lexus 400, over the Honda CVR because of it's standard features mainly. I also like the fact that it is American made; being how we take Faith around the world as an American soldier doing good will things, I thought buying an American suv would be best. I picked light blue because I'm going for tranquil rather than flash or bravado. They had an orange Edge, but to be honest it reminded me of the Texas Longhorn orange - not happening in this family. If someone from Texas University were sweet enough to actually buy the orange Edge for me - it would be appreciated...but painted. Call me a Sooner. They do have a Sooner red Edge too, and I thought about it, but the blue made me feel relaxed - we put 50,000 miles on Steve (2005 Focus) last year - I need to be relaxed.

If you ask me Ford should consider giving me an Edge for the simple fact that I'm out and about the world promoting my dog in my Focus now...don't you think donating a little $36,000 vehicle would be doable? Sure it would, the could write it off as an expense. Hey Al "G", let's see what we can do about Reynolds Ford sponsoring Faith and I...we could do commercials, promotions, have a magnetic sign on the side of my Edge saying "Buy Your Next Ford at Reynolds Ford" - yeah, that's the ticket! I'll have my manager call you immediately. We can do this...we should do this. Faith would look good in the back seat (heated) while listening to the voice activated radio, or watching the rear-view camera on the mirror. I love buttons...this is the age of buttons, and believe me when I tell you, they come standard in the Edge. Yes, let's do the sponsor thing.

Let me just get off this computer right now and make a few calls....didn't you read the part about me being dogmatic and impulsive? LOL (Truth)

A Little Off the Top Please! (Right)

It's a good thing I didn't ask the woman to actually cut my hair short. I would have had to wear boxer briefs to bed. Oh well, it's just hair right? I have this picture of myself that I take into the shop to show whoever is going to be available to cut my hair because I haven't reached the financial point in my life where I can fly to Studio City and have Peter Young sass me up yet. I probably wouldn't be able to force myself to do it anyway; I'd be thinking about the poor kids in Iraq without school supplies - and me with my $600 trim. Nope, wouldn't happen.

I take the photo in. It's laminated too, because I really loved my hair cut in this picture, and it's not like they would have to adjust the cut or the style to fit my face because it's MY face in the picture. When I showed the lady my photo she said "You looked good in that picture. Let's work on getting there again." (Work on it? Should I jump up next time? I mean, she was much stronger than I am, and she did have a sharp pair of scissors in her hands. I love this woman. She's my girl now. I can say that, she's my girl...I will go back to her. Her idea of trim and my idea of trim will need to be worked out, but she waxes like no one you've ever met. When I put forth a little whimpering sound (sort of an alert to warn her that maybe she was being a tad aggressive) she hit me. "Baby! You came in for a wax, not a lotion." She's right. I did.

Because I was having so much fun in my waxing station, and because my new do was so impressive I guess, my daughter decided to spend a little of my money and have her nails, brows, and long red hair trimmed too. Well, OK, but shouldn't I get another chance to whimper? No...that didn't happen. Nateisha said out loud to Tam, the girl who was about to start on Laura, "Oh, give Baby girl that new conditioner, let's try it out, and hey, buff her nails with that new tool too. We gotta experiment with someone." That made me feel better that it wasn't me being the guinea pig for once. Laura just stared at me, and I was like "You didn't ask permission now, did you? Just sat yourself down and started to order the works." She got made up - - and good.

So, naturally my newly gorgeous red-headed, buffed and colored, shaped and cut-trimmed daughter wanted to show it all off after we were finished. Why do I even think about taking them out on the streets during business hours? We hit the mall, we hit the beauty supply shop. We hit the restaurant where her nemesis works so she could parade a little bit; we did this in the car we were test driving just to really jump start the girl's heart. Laura pulled up in a 2008 Mustang GT Shelby (blue with the thick white stripe) Yes, we were nice and bought the sales man dinner too. He loved it.

Next time Nateisha...I swear to God, color inside the lines, look at the picture a few more seconds...or at least let me break into a sweat without fear of being stabbed 11 times aimlessly for complaining. I love you.

Tetsuwan and Faith (Oh, and Laura!)

They had so much fun! We were in L.A. about three weeks ago filming and the show was released on Tetsuwan's DASH, an exclusively Japanese television show much like Entertainment Tonight. Laura sang at the Miller's Children's Hospital while Faith made a few bedside visits. Tetsuwan, the Justin Timberlake of Japan, was more than a gentleman. He was so sweet, and so kind - just look, Faith let him pick her up and carry her around. That NEVER happens. Faith usually shies from men, but Tetsuwan was so nice. He was so active and energetic as well - on the show he skateboards with Tillman the skateboarding dog at Venice Beach, and let me tell you - the dog beat him every once in a while! Tetsuwan loved it!! Laughing and literally congratulating the dog's skills. Tillman and Faith will be working together in other events this year, I know we're going to Florida together in June.

Laura's singing could actually take off in Japan before it takes off in America, but it would be great to have her recorded here and represented here. Her abilities to sing in both Japanese and English have a lot to do with her promotions. It can't hurt that she keeps company with Tetsuwan when he's in town, or that he found her beautifully attractive and talented. (Oh, but she fell for one of his assistants....Sasaki. I may have misspelled that.) Tetsuwan was so helpful in helping me embarrass both Laura and SaSa as we called him while filming, eating out, and just hanging out on the beach. Even a traffic jam gave us a reason to put the blush on both lovebirds...no privacy for the weary.

DASH was released Feb 3, and I have to tell you the response to Faith's appearance has been extraordinary! I have fielded hundreds of e-mails from great fans in Japan, now I'm told the Japanese UNI literary agency is interested in translating my books for their audience, and my only answer is YES!!!! I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait. This is big and very exciting news for Faith, and of course for they beautiful people of Japan. Laura's trip to Tokyo soon will be welcomed with opened arms, questioning girls who just want to ask her what Tetsuwan said, did, wanted, asked....they are all so excited to know someone on MySpace and/or the internet who has spent so much time with him in person. To us he's just the sweetest man. The fact that he couldn't speak much English led to a lot of body-language, translations, hand gestures, faces....it was great.

Hats off to Japan! We love you! We can't wait to see you all again, and again, and again. Kiss Kiss to Karou and your entire crew at Nichiki Television!!

Promises - Promises

I am 100% staple free. My belly staples (17) were all taken out today...yea. They weren't a lot of fun keeping up with I might add, and the fact that I thought I popped a couple during Eli Manning's last touchdown pass in the final seconds of the Super Bowl really had me reeling, but I did survive. Dr. Jay Cannon (surgeon - OKC) asked me what else he could do for me after he cut out the staples and dressed the area up a little. I wanted him to explain a little to me about the reason why I couldn't have just 5 staples closing off the 3 tiny incisions around my belly button. Why I had to go through the open procedure and the answer was very .... clinical. I just pretended to understand, and I'll look up all the big words at home later on.

He told me something that I really never knew was possible. He told me my gall bladder was attractive - or did he say I had an acute cholecystitis? Same thing right? Attractive, cute...whatever, it meant that my gall bladder was really inflamed and that I was about to pop something important, so the open way was the only way to go. Now I have this really cool scary scar that I'm definitely going to use to my advantage. If I ever teach again, I'll be sure to get on the teacher's basketball team so I can show it off to the students and say "that's right, I'm that tough! I got shanked, and it only cost me $12,000.00" I asked the doctor if I could expect to exercise soon; six weeks. WHAT? My 90 days will just about be up by then, and I'm on the target to lose my 30 pounds. He agreed to let me walk and ride the bike slowly, maybe it will take a little longer, but I can do 7 miles in an hour rather than 30 minutes and call that a work out.

Doctor also promised me that my stomach muscles would come back - really? I thought they had left before I even had surgery...to think they may return is an interesting new development in the whole losing 30 pounds in 90 days thing. Maybe I can actually tone at the same time...that should make me smile sometime this spring.

I'm reading over the Gross Description of my surgical procedure and in it my doctor states that my gallbladder was irregularly colored (tan/red) and that it had an eroded wall - there was something about a green colored calculus (no, I'm not sure what that is, but will be looking it up.) I had areas of hemorrhagic necrosis of my mucosa...that scares me. I can tell you straight up, there are words I don't want to know how to pronounce them because understanding them fully would send me into a dizzy-spin emotionally. I'm just happy to say, I had a good doctor and I thank Jesus for the fact that HE (both Jesus and Dr. Cannon) know how to pronounce everything and know when to take it out - thanks to the both of you!

Super Tuesday - Not A Walk in the Park

Here I am thinking about braving the weather, braving my kid's driving, just so I can go out and vote for a man I didn't want to vote for in the first place. I wanted Rudy! McCann's a good guy, maybe a good Senator....I don't know. I don't want to make the trek. I'm using the gall bladder surgery as an excuse, and that's not fair to anyone. That's not fair to the system, it's not even fair to me because I'm suppose to get out and get around. By around I suppose voting could qualify. I will not, however, stand in line. If the poll-office doesn't direct me straight to the front of the line I'm going home. (Is that selfish or rude?)

The pain in my back from the entire ordeal has become the one reason I continue to take the pain killers. I have really cut them in quarter and refuse to become addicted, but the achy back is just something no one really warns you about. Oh, and the "distention" do you know about distention? That's the fatness you take on after a major gut-wrenching surgery that bloats you up like a balloon, and makes you feel like you're about to pop when you can't pop to release the pressure. Another thing that wasn't discussed before the surgery because it was suppose to be a routine thing.

I did ask the doctor for the gross of my operation. Maybe after reading it I can see why all the fuss was made. I trust my doctor, he's a great man, so if he said it had to go then it had to go - but my my my my my....this wasn't what I bargained for. So far the surgery's complications have taken me out of work in NJ, NYC, and possibly Philly on the 15th of Feb. It's laid me up longer than expected, just thinking about taking the dogs out in the morning causes me to pause - so I ask myself...do I really care if I vote today? Will it make a difference? I know the answer. I will get my butt out of the bed, I will walk around, I will drive to the little church. If I am taken to the front of the line I will vote. I believe I've seen them taking the elderly and the disabled up to the front in the past elections...I just happened to be one of them now. (Hopefully, just for now)

Wow. Super Tuesday. Lots of delegates, I think we have 22 or something for the Republicans. I don't remember. I'm into it, but I'm not caught up - I'm more interested in the outcome of Obama/Clinton and/or Clinton/Obama and I'm a Republican. Strange that I'm more interested in that outcome - but then again, I would love to see Rudy show up on our ticket! That would make me happy.

Good night, I'm rolling over now...sleeeeeeepppppp

In Between Drugs at the Moment

How are you? I would love to show you a picture of my new airy-inflated belly - the one with the six inch slightly curved scar running North Northwest across my chest, however, I'm not sure you would be a fan.

I was laying on the gurney last Monday, minding my own business. That's what I do you know, I mind my business. I had signed all the signatures, initialled all the boxes so there was very little to do other than to lay down, smell the oxygen and have my body invaded by steel. That was me then. Today I am a completely new woman, by that I mean I look like I could star in a really scary pirate movie. I could be the battle-axed crazy-haired femme on board that shows no mercy - has the crippling scars to prove her determination to make it to the top of her game! Arrhhh! (I so totally misspelled that.)

The decision to do an open gall bladder incision and go in after the fiend, came only after the great doctor (Dr. Jay Cannon of Oklahoma City) had first attempted to do the surgery as minimally as possible. I would have three very tiny incisions (one in the belly button) and they would be pulling my ugly, old, nasty, stoned-up gall bladder through said belly button. We always believed the belly button had a purpose, now we know what it can do. Upon poking a little camera and a great deal of air into my belly, it was determined that NO...the gall bladder was not to be cut and brought through my body after all, it had something drastically wrong with it. Stones aside, the gall bladder itself was highly infected. I didn't get to see it, I could have possibly described it for you, so since I can't do a perfect job I'll go on and say it had green rolly-polly looking characters on it, and that it was the consistency of apple pie...I'm probably lying, but I don't care. I'm on drugs today.

I woke up from the gases and found myself in a hospital room rather than my own room at home. I'm not surprised. I have to have all the attention when I do anything at all that requires needing attention. I may act coy and shy about it, but I love having people swarm around me and make me who I am, what I am, what I will be. I think it started in Kindergarten when I announced that I had a secret. BAM! 14 friends in a nano-second. I made something up I'm sure. Jeanie still believes the lies I told her in high school, she's still hanging around. Does that make her vunerlable, stupid, or just a really cool person? I like to think she's awesome. She's only corrected my lies once when it was misquoted a few years later and could have come back to bite her I think. She's good at the game.

I'm not kidding when I say I have a six inch valley carved into the horizon of my chest....it curves just so, and it has real live rail-road tracks...I guess when you're private pay they send in the carpenters to staple you rather than the doctors having to sew you up. No, they tell me it's a normal thing, but it does creep me out when I'm pretending to pull on them just to piss off the kids. (Which is actually quite fun because I don't do scary movies, and they do.)

I will be more able to write and chat a little later in the day perhaps. This being Feb. 1, we need to make our plans for the ground hog coming up tomorrow. I have no idea if that requires a presence but I will simply call in with my prediction this year. I'm thinking longer winter, harder weather, bigger storms, more snow, and maybe just a little power outage to top it off. This is Oklahoma - she feels my pain. Speaking of pain, the nurses at the hospital were unable to give me another dosage of Perciocet because it hadn't quite been four hours since my last. However, she could see that I was in a lot of stress. Rather than give me my regular dosage she gave me a higher dosage because it was a different medicine - does that make sense to you? I didn't argue. I simply thanked her.

Good night I say at noon. I must return to the world of the slumbering ones. I will be alive soon and we will dance.

Almost Back

I'm only writing to tell you that I am physically home, but not blogging for a couple of days. I was in the hospital having my gall bladder removed, and of course there were complications. It wouldn't be MY life if there weren't complications.

Now I have 4 holes in my belly/chest - one 4" long and what feels like 4" deep, but I doubt it. Sorry if you missed me, I missed me too. I did actually see all of you in my dreams....you're pretty!

Be back Friday.

That's Oklahoma!

(my photo)

Today it is 37 degrees outside and the geese have half of the lake to walk on and half of it to stand on. Later it will all be wet, and the temperature will be around 60. We do that here, we experience winter and spring in the same day. Likewise, closer to summer we experience winter and summer, and closer to autumn, we experience winter and fall. Note the pattern? Oklahoma is just in the middle of the mix I guess.

Something else about our state, about our people: I am having surgery on Monday, I'm private pay, so that means I get the calls from the doctors and the anaesthesiologist telling me they expect full pay before the surgery. When I mentioned that I would NOT be paying it up front I got the response I rather expected, but you're always a little shocked to hear it coming from the mouth of a professional. The woman on the other end of the phone said "Oh, OK, well I'll pack the tequila in his bag when he comes to the hospital, you can pay for that right?" I just laughed at her. I told her I fully expected her to drink to my recovery - but that the doctor had to wait until after my surgery to do so! She agreed. (It's tough being poor, but all of us are in that boat from time to time.) Humor is the heart's medicine.

This week I saw a commercial that really represents the spirit of our great state in a way that NO ONE has been able to fully capture before. As the camera pans the church on the day of their wedding, the bride is standing at the alter with her groom, in her left ear she wears a white ear bud with the OU Sooners football game playing quietly just before she takes her vows. As the Sooners make a touchdown she smiles and nods her head yes.....now, if you don't understand that, well you don't understand Oklahoma.

Boomer Sooner!

Animal Wellness Magazine - Headlines Faith

Faith Healer! What a title. I love it. Thanks Animal Wellness. I have to say this is one of those fantastic interview/investigative articles that really makes a difference in the lives of both our family and those who have seen Faith in hospitals and/or military bases. Faith is truly an amazing dog.

We wanted to take this positive opportunity to thank Animal Wellness for their vision and their insight to not only ask us to be in their magazine, but also to put Faith, a two-legged dog, on their cover! You guys are really special to us. This is Faith's FIRST cover for an international magazine, and we're hoping it isn't her last. What a great inspiration to everyone to see a dog with disabilities on the front cover of anything - let alone a great magazine like Animal Wellness, a magazine that focuses on some of the special needs and characteristics of all animals. We couldn't be more proud of both Faith and the publishers. Thank you!

I also want to personally thank Randy Poff of Oklahoma City, one of the great personal photographers who has shot for us in the past. He was responsible for the Montel video footage that is seen throughout the world on YouTube. Poff is actually a photojournalist. I called him in a little panic one Sunday and asked if he could take a few shots for Animal Wellness. He didn't charge me, he didn't let me buy him and his wife dinner, nothing! His beautiful daughter Ferrin is my son's good friend, and to be honest, I think we'd both (sets of parents) be happy to see the two become closer....maybe....or is that me, dreaming again? Hey, thanks Randy!

So, when you're out and about, and you pass by the magazine with the happy little yellow dog on the cover, please buy a couple of copies. Get one for yourself, and one to give away. She's bound to make you smile. You can't help yourself. I can't tell you what all is covered in the interview, but I will say this: Faith comes out looking really good! She deserves the best! You can pick up the issue at PetCo, PetSmart, and/or online at www.animalwellnessmagazine.com

The Black Knight Resides in Fairbanks, Alaska

"It's ONLY a flesh wound!" Do you remember the Black Knight of Monty Python and the Holy Grail saying that? OK, well there's bravery and there is sheer lunacy, and the silly Black Knight and my son Reuben have something in common now. No, he (Reuben) didn't get his arms chopped off, but he did stab himself in the hand with his own knife! If I were a betting woman (lottery twice a week) I would say he's trying his hardest NOT to go to war, but then again, I know my son...he's bored from NOT going to war, so he's playing too hard and doing some really stupid things up there in the land of the midnight sun! "I can close my knife faster than you can SGT!" (The beginning of the end.)

I got the call. It was something like 2:00 a.m. Los Angeles time because that's where I was when I got the call. The Call is code for "Hey Mom, I'm in the hospital again." This time he wasn't laughing quite as much as he was when he broke his ankle in December, but he wasn't crying much either...like I would be. I'd have freaked probably after I realized my hand was gashed through and through. I declined to upload the photo that Reuben sent me, it was pre-op and I didn't think you wanted to see a grown man with a 4 inch blade sticking out of his left hand. (His right hand giving me the thumbs up.) When he arrived at the hospital he called me to let me know he was being admitted to the E.R. He asked if he should remove the blade. NOOOOOOO! I screamed into the phone. That's when he started laughing.

"Mom, I'm not stupid. I was kidding. I'm at the freakin' hospital, the nurse already told me to stop playing with it. I've washed it out on the sides and everything, they even stopped the bleeding for the most part, damn Mom, you're high-strung." I wanted to kill him. YOU THINK! YOU THINK I'm high strung? I'm over here thinking to myself the Army is going to call me and ask me to come pick him up! They couldn't possibly use a kid that damages himself this much. I was wrong. The next day I got a call from the SGT that was with Ruby at the time of the accident. He told me that anyone that could stab himself with a knife and drive himself to the hospital with it sticking out of his hand and dripping on his pants so it didn't get the car seat messy has a place in a real man's Army. His words, not mine.

I asked Reuben if they could bust him in rank or dock his pay since he keeps hurting himself. He paused for a second and he said "Well, they said they were going to make me a Texan if I do it again. I guess that's bad." (Please Uncle Sam, anything but that!)

OK...he's not the brightest bulb in the basket, but he's mine. He's the most wonderful, giving, caring, upstanding, uplifting, courageous, and protective man I have ever known; perhaps he'll stick around the military long enough to figure out when it's appropriate to stab someone and that the someone shouldn't be himself. Then again, I've always got the option of putting him in English classic film. He's got the part memorized.

Funny story: I was in L.A. filming for a Japanese TV show with my dog this weekend. A First Sgt in the Army came up to me in Starbucks off Ventura Blvd and Alcove, just across the street from the famous Sportsmen's Lodge where we stayed. The First Sgt came right up to me and said "Hey, is that Faith?" (pointing to my dog) I said yes, yes, it is. He then asked "How's Reuben?" Seems he and his wife drink their morning coffee and read my blog as well as a few others every day. How's Reuben? Awesome! "Have a seat First Sgt, this is gonna take a while!"