It Can't Be a Spider Bite Because ...

If it were a spider bite I would probably be really dead or somehow worse. I'd be vomiting, I'd be rolling out of my bed in delirium. I'd have a monster sized hole in my right (back) cheek that, although it has a big black spot in the middle of it, it would be sunken in and not threatening to protrude like the red, burning, hard to the touch golf-ball under the skin that it is. Because not going to the doctor after a spider bite can be the last defiant act of your life. YES, I'm talking about a boil people. To be honest, I don't really know how long (exactly) that I can sit at this computer and write about it either. Besides, I killed the spider I saw in my room last week...he's dead! DEAD! Maybe he had brothers?

If you are a religious person, if you are a spiritual person, if you have any type of compassion for your fellow man, woman, or child - please say kind and effective prayers for me....and my bum. Especially me, because my bum has actually decided to separate from my body, do the hostile take over thing, and using the one form of ammunition I didn't see coming - the boil; I am about to suffer unnecessarily for the next 10-14 days according to the WebMD, and every other database I could research. I simply hate going to a doctor. I went 17 years ago - that didn't work out so well for me, I had to bring Caity home.

OH, I'm not a complete loser. I set a time frame for this most inconvenient visitor. I told my butt that if it didn't come back to reason, give up the covert mound of pus and just be the butt it is suppose to be, I would see to it personally that a DOCTOR of real training would not only VIEW it, he/she would LANCE it if he/she had to, and I didn't care how much pain I had to inflict on it - that is, my butt. Talking to one's backside has never really gotten any one person any real results, but I do so hate to go to the doctors for things that are either embarrassing, expensive, or out and out silly - like boils, hangnails, a cough, a little cut -- if I can find a home remedy, save myself that co-pay (I don't have co-pays, I just said that. I'm in the higher percentage of those who DON'T have insurance per se. I'm winging it!)I gave my bum 10 days from today....let the countdown begin.

Naturally, because I'm careful about hygiene and I use more Lysol in my house than anyone I know, I wanted to know how the STAPH attacked me in the first place. You would be bowled over to find out the most common ways a person gets a big, fat, ugly, nasty, in the skin, can't-get-that-follicle-quite-open-far-enough-to-sprout-a-hair BOIL - - I know I was. I virtually sleep with anti-bacterial blankets (Faith does)and I was simply flattened to hear that someones NOSE slime could have passed the bacteria to me...nose slime? I'm a mother, there will be nose slime this time of year on everything - hence the Lysol, but did you know the SNEEZE the simple sneeze can literally and figuratively kick your butt?

Most boils are follicle related, hairs can't come out, they get infected. The INFECTED part is the sneeze part. You (me in this case) inhale breath/air that has air-borne nose slime and it gets into your blood stream, cruising it's way through your body and then...because it's the curse of ADAM - - you die! If you don't die you get boils....THERE. God, is in my opinion, hilarious! Could You be a little funnier God? No, I'm not challenging You, I love you! Thank You actually for the experience, now I know a little tiny bit of what the enemies of Israel felt back in the day, and I have to say....I am 100% pro Israel. Go God! Go God!

Prognosis: lots of hot baths, lots of ibuprofen, lots of prayers, and lots of smirking because I just can't smile that straight right now!

Solution: Keep the Lysol handy, but wash those hands if you get the sneeze treatment in public or in private....nose slime is a killer!

My Best BEST BESTTTTT Friend Jeanie

OK, so there you go, my best friend and my son. Two of my favorite most wonderful people in the world. If my girls were in the picture, you'd have all 4 of my favorite most wonderful people. Look at that woman! Doesn't she make you sick to think that she looks that good at HER age? Please, we met in high school 30 years ago...she was....1 at the time. I have no problem admitting my own 46 years, but I'm not about to squeal on Jeanie and tell you that she graduated before me...no way, I wouldn't do that to her. She's my bestest best best friend, and well, I'm jealous as heck is what I am.

So, when you know someone for 30 years you start thinking about some of 300+ concerts you've seen together, or the gazillion rock stars you've met together, and you think about the trips to the State Fair, football games; both high school and college - but we laughed this weekend over the 138 jobs that I've lost since we've met and the 3 I think she's actually had for all this time. You can see we're perfect for each other in terms of being friends because she stabilizes me and I give her a living entertainment package. If she doesn't call me every week she's bound to miss out on something life changing...seriously, mine or hers, but it will be changing.

I was the maid of honor at her wedding, and she was the matron of honor at mine. We both hated her first husband, and we both hated my first husband too. See how that works? She married well the 2nd time though, we both love him....and me, well, I have no intention of getting married again (except for you know who, and even then I'd be compromising my lifestyle, and giving up things I'm not all that sure I'd like to give up, I mean - I'm an independent thinker, a maverick at times and even if Gary were to ask I'd have to think....3 full seconds before nodding my speechless head.) She'd approve, she thinks turtles are worth saving, and she likes the fact that he's employed. One of us would have to be I guess.

I think Jeanie's favorite "I-Got-Fired-Again" quote from me was when I worked for a grocery store. I was Oklahoma City's FIRST girl-sacker. They didn't even call me a female, I was a girl in 1977. Anyway, the funny thing is, at 16, it wasn't anywhere near my first job. I left and when she asked me about THIS employer and why it didn't work out, I simply said "It was a mutual agreement between the two of us that I should no longer be working for the establishment." Even then I used longer sentences to explain myself than I needed to. By 16 I had been fired a least 4 or 5 times. I always had a great excuse too, but she's always liked that one, so when I can I pull it out and I explain myself first by expressing the expression....it's an ice breaker.

I've been fired for walking in on my boss when I shouldn't have. I've been fired for showing up a day late. I've been fired for doing too good of a job in fact, and they called it working myself out of employment. I just couldn't pace myself, and ended up doing a bang-up-you-gotta-go job after a week or so. One of my favorite firing stories was when I worked at a nursing home. I was young, going to high school and thought I was naturally going to be off for the arch rival football game. No, I was not let off, I was scheduled, and I was scheduled to show up an hour before the game started. Something about people needing to be fed on time every day. I quit. I wasn't fired. I was officially fired when I walked out, this place didn't let a person quit - if they fired you they didn't have to bring you back.

Jeanie understands me. She understands that football games are always (then and now) a top priority. I rescheduled my wedding day folks! We got married on a bye week. No, I'm serious. I don't joke about OU football. Jeanie gets that, and if it means that every year she's forced to go out and buy new OU t-shirts, hoodies, and stuff, or if she has to drink a beer with me at the pub and scream obscenities at the guys wearing other than Crimson, so be it. Besides being perfect every fall, she's a Cancer, I'm a Scorpio. If she was a guy I could marry her I guess, but she's already married, and Darren being an Aquarius would never go for the threesome thing.

There you have it. MY BEST friend in the world......forever! I love you! (Oh, and don't worry about the Big 12, we got that!)

Stand Like Waite - Hold Your Ground

Oklahomans don't have much of a problem making a stand and then digging their (our) heels in really deeply to let themselves and the rest of the freaking world know EXACTLY where they stand. I wasn't surprised when my publicist asked me to write a book about my opinions. I felt it coming. We'd had discussions over and over again covering topics the polite people say you should never have - not in public anyway. Does Starbucks count as being all that public? Fine! I don't think I have to warn you, my opinions are MINE. I came upon them all by myself, sharing them won't hurt me one bit - no extra charge. (Not now, wait until the book is out, then you'll have to pay for them! LOL)

If you know anything about the Civil War and the way it ended you'll know the South came out on the south of it so to speak. Oklahoma had a very unique position in that we were officially a neutral territory - Indian territory, and since Native Americans weren't considered real Americans, they didn't count - or did they? I'm not Native American -- something I regret. I would be if I could go back and do something about it. I would be a Cherokee I think. They're the ones with the pretty cheek bones, and they had Stand Waite! Now, there's a man of history to be admired. Did you know that there's NEVER been another full blooded Native American General? He was it! He was the LAST, the very very very last General to surrender to the Union. He was from the Indian Territory, but before he was in Oklahoma (land wise) he was from Florida - - a very southern man.

Well, Stand made a stand. He proved to everyone that you have to sometimes wait it out to be sure, absolutely sure that all has been done - his dogmatic behavior lives today in many of us who call this land ours. I'm one of his biggest fans I think. Sometimes forced to do what he did not want to do. Sometimes given the opportunity to make the decisions - when he was able to, he told the children of the areas he would go to that they were to be proud no matter what the outcome of the great war, they were to stay in their belief that we would be healed as a nation...he also believed in one God; and he was seen in public discussing His existence. He questioned why anyone else would question it.

There is another man I like to quote from time to time; though most think the adage came from a country western song - - Alexander Hamilton told members of Congress that "If we stand for nothing we will fall for anything". I'm not sure those words were the reason he made it on the $10 bill, but they may have gotten him shot! Nevertheless, I would rather die standing for my heart's pull than falling over it. I do know what my motto, if I had one, would be: "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no" - you know who said that! (Hint: died for me and you, too.)

I'm about to write a book about my feelings, my points of view, my opinions, my thoughts, and MY ideas - if I need to place a warning or a disclaimer in the front of it for the weak of souls I will -- but I will not, I cannot back off what I think to be honest, truth, or right. Don't ask me to, you won't like me much after that. Like the great Native American Warrior/General - I will wait you out. I will NOT surrender without being forced. This is a good thing. You'll never NOT know where you stand with me; and just in case you're wondering - yeah, I'm still going to love you even if we disagree. You have the right to be as wrong as you want to be! Hahahaha

Did I mention I was a bit conceited at times too? (Truth! Not making that up) If only we were all this honest. Can you imagine? Voting wouldn't be half as difficult and court rooms wouldn't be so full.

MP3 Expert

About a year ago my son got himself a really cool iPod for Christmas, and that set in motion the NEED for me to purchase a few LIKE MP3 players for all the other children in my life. You know how that goes - one gets something the others think they need it. I didn't buy his MP3 player. I wouldn't have spent that kind of money on one, not when I know you can get them online through Ebay for pennies on the dollar. I'm not cheap, really, I'm not. I'm part Scottish. I believe in tradition to a degree, and well - OK...I'm a single parent raising a bunch of kids. I try what I can to put 1/2 smiles on my children's faces.

I remember I victoriously won a 2 gb blue iPod look alike for a drastically reduced price. It arrived, but it wasn't what I paid for. In fact it was only a 128K device, and held only 40 songs, nothing close to the 500+ songs the seller promised...don't worry, I got my money back. I believe in capitalism, I believe in online commerce, and I bought another player from the guy(s) who had first "accidentally" sent me the wrong device. They even let me keep the 128 player...I couldn't give it away, apparently they could. I bought a 2nd player, another 2 GB and my luck continued. I got another 128 in the mail. Someone wasn't paying attention to the previous address or the previous name. After another round of writing and another round of oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-I'm-really-that-stupid discussions with myself, I got another 2 GB MP3 player in the mail....yes I did! I win.

You can imagine my delight and my contorted face when I went to a different Ebay seller and purchased a third, I said 3rd, 2 GB player, a little iPod look alike, the little square looking nano type - and YES, YES, they did it again! I now own 3 very low capacity MP3 players with 40 different songs on each one of them. I am in the process of screaming through the e-mails at these guy(s) hoping for a similar result, you know, the player I actually spent $60 on. I don't think $60 is too much for a 2GB, but it is too much for the 128. If you think about it, I'm getting all these other players for nothing. If they let me keep it I can donate them all to a school for prizes, but they'd have to go to a preschool - - kindergartners would figure it out too fast "HEY! This this only holds 40 songs! What's up with that?"

I guess I could stop being so cheap and just go out and get an iPod. I could do that, but where's the challenge? It would end up working the first time, and it would be easy to download, easy to maintain, and even come with insurance....please, I get a lot of pleasure copying the same 40 songs to the playlists only to find out that the 41st song is overload - - that's when I figure out I can't trust my buyer's mind. That's when I get it...when the media player tells me that the song "May Not Fit"....you think? It either will, or it won't. I think my media player is a Liberal. With a Conservative media player I would get a completely different message, something like "Not Recommended for Children", or "You Ran Out of Space Already, Did You THINK You Could Get More for Your Buck?"

I could keep you posted as to whether or not I actually DO get the MP3 player that I paid for, but I bet you're already pretty bored with my little nonsense story. I don't live a life full of too much excitement - I could tell you about the nearly naked girl I saw chasing the geese into the pond this morning, but if I did...you'd believe me. I fed her breakfast soon afterwards and did the Mom thing. She was almost appreciative, but stated she's 17 and fully capable of pouring her own milk. I guess she didn't hear the part of my lecture about not going outside without her clothes on. The geese had little smiles on their beaks.

Matrix and Technology

My dog Matrix is rarely discussed in public due to the fame of my other dog Faith. However, I have to tell you, as this picture truly proves, Matrix is by far a more techy-dog. He's into all sorts of things that Faith takes for granted. For instance, Matrix will actually help me make cookies; volunteering to test taste the batter, licking the bowl clean, and often times, before I get a chance to possibly poison myself Matrix is there to taste the finished product - - to be certain I'll be OK.

Matrix has been spotted wearing night vision goggles, and one can only assume its because he goes out at night to protect us from the geese in the pond. He sings when I take my bath just to entertain me, and he is always the first one of us in bed at night because he understands the importance of a good rest. Faith simply posts herself under the bed from daybreak to midnight and for a few hours of the night will keep us company on top of the bed. She will sometimes allow Matrix a sneak under the bed from time to time if he's got something to share, but the instant it has been shared she'll kick him out promptly!

When Faith and I travel it is Matrix that keeps the house warm by adjusting the thermostat, and he's so able-bodied that he doesn't even need the Nanny that I leave with him, he could probably open the door and let himself out. It's nice of him however to allow her to think that she is needed and when I ask her each time how he's been - - the answer is always the same. "He was perfect!" Of course he's perfect, he's a weenie dog! What could be more perfect that a weenie dog? As you can see from the photo, Matrix is quite intelligent, often looking over my shoulder when I read - not just to get me to pet him, but to actually learn something about whatever it is that I'm reading. If I stop reading (petting) he nudges me to let me know I have. I can even put the book down if I want, as long as my hands continue to read. He's fully capable to gleaning information from the written word through the movement of my fingers! That's an incredible dog!

I'll tell you this story, then I must go to the store and get bottled water. This morning Matrix and I were laying around watching Nebraska and Colorado beat up on each other on an icy cold field on television. I heard him whisper ever so slightly that he'd like a good cup of hot cocoa. When I explained to him that dogs aren't suppose to have chocolate he suggested that I use soy milk and carob powder, which he KNEW I had hidden in the back of the cupboard from last Christmas. Since we both knew that carob powder doesn't go bad that quickly - I made the cocoa! It was awesome. The dog is simply .... well, perfect. Check out his camo-collar from Dublin Dog. Is he not the epitome of high fashion?

A Birthday to be Thankful

(Pictured are: David P., Reuben, Toni, and Frank)


Thanksgiving was not just a day to get together with family and friends, or a day to over eat and under-exercise, no, it was also my 46th birthday. I'm not the least bit shy about saying exactly how old I am because I'm so gosh-darn beautiful that something like a little age is never going to get in my way! Don't you love over-confident people?

Well, for my birthday - and actually days before, I was given the best(est) present a mom can get. I was sitting at church minding my own business. I do that most of the time when I'm in God's house, but sometimes I do open my mouth and let the controversy fly. I do that to see if anyone is awake you know. I was there, I was minding my own business. Now, I did know that this was Thanksgiving Sunday and I was actually anticipating a friend of my son's who would be coming to Oklahoma City from Ft. Hood in Texas JUST to be with me because he (being Reuben's close friend in Alaska, and having been able to visit his family) was coming up to stay with me for a day and be my "son" for the day. It was the next best thing to having my own baby boy in my arms.

Our class secretary asked us to welcome a member of the Armed Forced who would be sharing the day with the Stringfellow family, and he stated that the man would be leading us in prayer. I turned around, and MY SON REUBEN walked into the room! YES!!! MY BABY BOY! If I had followed my dream, my heart, I would have known. Even on the way to the church I told the girls I had a dream and I felt that Reuben was truly with us today. HE WAS! Laura knew about the surprise, Caity was taken back as much as I was. I jumped up from my couch seat (our church is cool that way) and I nearly tackled my baby. I did get lipstick on his newly pressed Dress Greens and I know I probably got mascara everywhere...I was doing a bit of the teary-eyed thing too. I was holding MY BABY!! I hadn't seen him in 9 months. I told him later that there was only one other time that I expected to see him and had to wait 9 months!

He was just as beautiful this time as he was last time. I have pictures. Well, the hard part came the next four days. We had to keep his presence a secret as he went around the city literally faking out everyone he knew! He'd call them on his cell when they were in restaurants, at home, even at the vet's office. He'd pretend to be in Alaska, just calling to say hello - and then he'd walk into their office, over to their table, etc.....freaking everyone out! Screams of joy and very loud laughter all over the place! REUBEN really does mean "It's a Boy!" and he is just such a boy at times. A really really loving and good boy, but a boy!

Thanksgiving, my birthday, was fantastic. Not being able to blog about him coming was hard to do. My sister or my mother, or maybe someone who knew them would have been able to tell them he was in town and therefore ruin the surprise. MY surprise was equalled by my sister Linda. She was just staring out Grandma's window, thinking about a day when we would all be together, he called her, he talked to her, then he said "Turn around Aunt Linda" and she was all over him then! Squeeeeeezzzzing and hugging and I think she left an imprint of her nails in his back through his sweater! She was crying and crying, and then she let go and began hugging him all over again! She loves her nephew. Grandma wasn't as funny as Pop. My Dad was literally 2 feet from Reuben, with his back turned, talking to him and asking him if he was going to have enough food for Thanksgiving. I was staring at my dad, telling him to turn around - when he did he just stood there facing my son with the phone still at his ear. He was still talking cell to cell to my son! It was pretty funny, it really was.

So, after a few more relatives, a few more friends, I think he's all surprised out. I thought about having his friend come up from Texas to surprise him...then I found out he was LYING to me about Clark in the first place. He's not from Texas, he's from Iowa! Now, I have to ask you, would it be against any federal laws if I pulled off my belt and spanked a United States Army Private?

Last year I was in New York City on November 22, hugging Jesse L. Martin on my 45th birthday. (I do treat myself right!) This year I was holding my three children in Edmond, Oklahoma. Given the choice? I'd take my three in Chicago any time. Hahahaha

Big Time Announcement!

Yes, it's true: I'm writing ANOTHER book. This one is so tight...well, they all are, you know...awesome, but this one will be 27 of my own opinions. I feel that in these days of complete political correctness that the world needs honesty, truth, and just a bit of irreverent talking - PC has kept us all liars, omissions rather than commissions. We don't say what we want to, we don't want to lose our jobs, hurt others, and well, that's a good thing. We shouldn't HURT others, but we certainly shouldn't NOT say what we think either. Now, there are rules, there should be. Tell the truth without calling names is one of those rules. I intend on doing that. I will put my heart and mind on the line, and I'll possibly get into areas that may or may not be popular; but they are areas that need to be discussed.

Since Glenn Beck, Dr. Phil, Oprah, and other really open people have decided to tell the truth - and get paid for it, I thought I would too. You never know, someone out there just may agree with me. I bet they do. In fact, I'm so sure that millions and millions of you agree with me, that you'll be surprised to know that you could write the same things and I'd probably buy your book too.

I asked my daughter Caity to write out the same book, telling the world the same 27 opinions, and that would give the world a really good comparison into what the world of parents vs. kids thinks. People who really wanted to know would have to buy both books in order to really check it out, and hey - we'd both make out huh? Caity told me she wasn't much of a writer - see, we are already disagreeing! She's incredible. I've read her work. She makes ME think, and that's not the easiest thing to do. I usually think I have the best opinion out there - - for my own kid to bring up the eye brow...that's saying something. I made her! Thank God we disagree, can you imagine how boring life would be if we all agreed? Isn't it written somewhere that kids have to fight with their parents to survive? If it is written I'm sure the author disagreed in the first place with their parent and decided to write that fact out! (or maybe, that person didn't disagree, and the parent thought it was odd, so THEY wrote it out!) That makes me think!

Anyway, the book should be finished by summer and published by this time next year. Fun! Fun! Let the world rejoice....another book about ramblings.....YES!

Oklahoma Rising! 100 Years Strong!

I must have cried my eyes out tonight about a dozen times during the Oklahoma Centennial Spectacular - and NO, not because we weren't asked to be a part of the show...I pouted over that, but didn't actually shed any water. I cried and cried when the Miss Americas (5 out of the 6 crowned in our state) introduced the men and women of our Oklahoma National Guard - and I continued to cry during Toby Keith's "American Soldier". I couldn't take it. I jumped up, grabbed my son's official Army portrait, and I squeezed it. I wrapped my arms around the frame, and I just bawled like a baby - - and then I called him during the song. I called him to thank him for being an American Soldier. I called him to thank him for protecting me. I called him to hear his beautiful hard-to-understand-at-times screaming/laugh and I called to tell him that I made the RIGHT choice to raise my son, and my daughters in the great state of Oklahoma.

Work takes us everywhere. We fly from one coast to the other, and we drive for miles in every direction possible to get to military stations, bases, hospitals, children's homes, and schools always to do the same thing - kiss, hug, and love on the folks right here in America who have been so wonderful and so courageous. Sometimes people stop me, they ask me what keeps me going. They ask me how I can get up and drive, get up and fly to another city, they ask me how I can say the same things, answer the same questions, and pray the same prayers. I tell them it's the Oklahoma Standard. We set that standard many many years ago, and it made its mark permanent at the time of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah (Federal) building in 1995 - - the Oklahoma Standard: You just DO it, and you DO it right, setting the example because everyone needs to believe that someone will do what they're suppose to do when they're suppose to do it.

My kids got so tired of me saying this, but I would say "You do it because I said you'll do it, and I said you'll do it - because it's the right thing to do!" My students heard me say that, and they'd come back with "Ms. Stringfellow, you're so mean to us, but I guess that only means you love us." That's right. Oklahomans are the hardest people to please, but the easiest people to work side by side with. We'll get in there, we'll work and work until it's done. We'll keep working when it's finished just to be sure it doesn't come undone! I like the words to the Jimmy Webb song that he and Vince Gill sang tonight at the near close of the show. "Oklahoma Rising" is the title - go ahead, look it up...it made me cry too, because we are the sons and daughters of the west, and we are (and have been) rising up to be the best. I'm proud to be an Okie, so if you're going to call me one, well, you better say it LOUD - Sooner born, Sooner bred, and well it was worth calling my son during the "American Soldier", because if I do anything at all before I die - I want my kids to know, no matter where I am in this world when I die - - I'm Sooner dead. Bury me here, in the crimson clay.

Theodore Roosevelt said it in 1905 when he came to this land hunting coyotes with "Catch-em Alive" Jack Abernathy; he said "The people of Oklahoma don't give a damn about what others do or say, as long as what they do and say is right." In 1898 during the Spanish American War more Oklahomans volunteered to help than from any other territory or state in the union, or the frontier. In 1995, you saw our resolve when we refused to let the terrorists tear us down, or squash our spirit - you saw our EAGLE fly that day, you saw it again when we were among the first to volunteer to help the great people of New York in 2001, and the victims of hurricanes along the Gulf.

I may leave our state for commerce, I may need to be away - but for the rest of eternity when someone looks over their shoulder to see me dance, I'll be in Boomer Sooner Crimson & Creme, and probably being a little louder than most because of it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OKLAHOMA!

Happy 100th Birthday OKLAHOMA!

On April 22, 1889 the middle portion of our state was opened up at the exact minute of NOON - it was opened to anyone and everyone who could, if they had the heart to do it, stake a claim and get their claim to the make-shift office in the center of the middle section, the city was called Guthrie. April 22, 1889 is often mistaken in history as being the real birthdate of the 46th State, but it is not. That day goes down in history as the Opening of the Unassigned Lands - Pioneer Day is what we call it here in Oklahoma.

November 16, 1907 found Guthrie, Oklahoma bustling, full of people, full of celebration, new buildings and crowded streets as they welcomed the visiting President of the United States, Mr. Theodore Roosevelt! That day marked the day that Roosevelt wrote Oklahoma into the Union as the 46th state, and Guthrie was our state capital...for a little while. If you're from Texas you may never know the trouble it took to get the capital seal moved to Oklahoma City, and you may never understand that being called a Sooner was a bad thing - back then...not now!

If I could take a minute to list a few real Oklahomans that have made a difference in our state, you'd be surprised who I'd pick. Oh, I'd name the famous ones; Toby, Rita, Garth, Vince, Carrie, The Flaming Lips, The All American Rejects, Color Me Badd, and about a million other singers. You can't name off famous Oklahomans without mentioning Shannon Miller, Shannon Lucid, Paul Harvey, James Garner, Ben Johnson, or Wilma Mankiller, but did you have any idea that Tony Randall and Brad Pitt were Oklahomans? Did you know Troy Aikman of the Dallas Cowboys was an Okie? (Just as Sam Bradford is!) Mickey Mantle, Johnny Bench, and of course, Jim Thorpe, so you can see that Shannon Miller is among the best when you say "Oklahoma athletes"; and that's without having to mention all the college athletes who have brought our state several National Championships. Yes, we're rich in that part of American History.

Don't forget - Oklahoma has only been around 100 years - we've had good guys and bad guys (and girls) coming through to make their mark: Bonnie and Clyde were from Oklahoma, Belle Starr, Pretty Boy Floyd, Bill Doolin, Bill Dalton, and we can't possibly forget Elmer McCurdy, but he wasn't born in Oklahoma like Native America folk hero and/or legendary criminal (depends on how you look at it) Ned Christie. We had the lawmen too, most of the really famous lawmen were born elsewhere, but called Oklahoma home; men like Chris Madson, Bill Tilghman, Heck Thomas, and Oh, my favorite, Mr. Temple Houston!

Yes, Oklahoma is one rich and enterprising state, that's for sure. I'd say we rally any other state when it comes to bold, enterprising, stand-up-and-fight-em-til-the-end kind of maverick citizens. We're like that. We Okies are a crude, but beautiful breed for sure. We'll wait until the very last seconds to get into the storm shelters during a tornado just to compare this one with the last one. It's true, we do that. We vy for parking spots in the shade no matter how far we have to walk, and yes, you'll see us screaming our collective, impassioned guts out at each other over whether it should be crimson and creme or orange and black on any given matter about any given subject on each and every day...but that's just us. Don't think another 100 years is going to resolve anything relating to that issue - that one started before statehood; with the run of 1889.

Oh, I almost forgot - Oklahoma is the home state of the WORLD's ONLY bipedal dog that just happens to be famous as well as inspirational. She embodies everything necessary to be an Okie. She's strong, courageous, outstanding in her field, she's unique, charasmatic, striking in both appearance and memorable. Am I upset that she wasn't invited to appear on stage with the others - well, to be honest -- yes, but since she doesn't know she's a mirale dog, and since she's got work to do tomorrow with some really cool soldiers at the airport - I'll let it slide. However, at the bicentienal, someone had better mention her being from Edmond, Oklahoma! It's only fitting.

MY Home Depot

Right now MY Home Depot is off of 59th and North May in Oklahoma City. I think it is number 3902. I'm not sure - but when I get to Lincoln Park (Chicago), I will be shopping and/or part time living at the 2-story Home Depot pictured up above. I just can't wait. I know what you're thinking - she's a girl! GET OVER IT. I like football too, and I can (if I have to) drink a beer. I can do the Depot! In fact, my kids know now that if they can't find me at Starbucks, they can probably check out HD and I'll be on the Paint, Home Appliances, or the Lawn & Garden section. TODAY however, I was in lumber.

I decided (because I'm that way) to put up a little barre, like a ballet barre, but not that professional, not as large either. I just needed a barre to do squats, stretches, and strength exercises on. I could buy a prepackaged barre from a company online, or I could (say it with me) "Do it Myself" at the Home Depot. So, I went down the road to Starbucks, picked up a cup, and headed on over to the lumber department. It took Alex and I about 15 minutes to figure out exactly what I wanted, and then he got a call from the Pro-Desk. After a minute of being left alone in that massive beautiful store, I had made a few other decisions as well.

By the time I left, poor Alex (hails from Detroit and is making a special trip to Chicago to see the 2-story building) had been commissioned by me to cut 4 pieces of cheap ply wood to use as backings for several bookshelves I have that need support. He had picked out the stain, my sandpaper, and the screws I'm going to need for my unprofessional wall-mounts for the barre. He had also met my friend Valerie (nee Bridges) who used to be a cheerleader when I was a spirit clown at the Mayfield Junior High School in 1977. She was perky, I was perky, we were both having wood cut, and picking out projects for the weekend. It's cooling down, and I think women just like to fix things when the weather changes.

This weekend I will be sanding, staining, rebuilding, and stocking my new/old bookshelves. I'll hang my really pretty (already sanded and first-coated stained) barre, and I'll be picking out a new hinge for my gate. I don't like the one I have now. I did pick out a new lock to keep it shut and make it THAT much harder for my girls to just step back into the house! (They steal my food. They steal my TOFU they're so lazy and won't take themselves to the store. They took my less than what normal people consider decent food...now that's lazy)

The Home Depot in Lincoln Park is soooo pretty. I assume the lumber and millworks is on the ground floor, and all the hardware, little things, probably paint is upstairs. You could have your appliances upstairs because I'm sure there's a big freight elevator in the back too - look at me, I'm dreaming...just dreaming. I could spend hours and hours JUST in the Lawn & Garden section. Oh, but I don't have a lawn or a garden, never let that stop you! Never let someone push you out of the heavy-equipment department just because you live in an apartment. There are fewer things more beautiful than a riding lawn mower with a cup holder.

Can't wait to move to Lincoln Park! My condo will be 100% new, which means I won't need a thing from the Depot, but that only means I save money while I browse!