OzzFest 2007 ! What a Trip.

Who says you can't have fun outside of the normal, outside of the expected? My dog and my daughters will be touring this summer on OzzFest 2007. I declined, I'm rather old and the thought of sleeping on the bus for 6 weeks didn't appeal to me - but hey, the girls are up for it. They'll split the gig 1/2 and 1/2. Laura taking the lead and doing the first 3 weeks, and let me tell you, if Bryce (Manager) puts her on stage - she won't give Caity a chance to be seen! If Bryce allows Laura to shine for 30 seconds on stage with anyone - anyone at all - she will die before she lets her little sister show up and take it away from her. Caity's hoping she gets on stage so she can show up at the fest and just hang out a day or two and fly back home. Truth be told, I'm sure Laura will be the tour-queen!

Faith is just one of those really talented dogs you see - she can make EVERYONE happy - screamer bands, no problem. She can do it! Her function is really cool too. She's a Special Guest with the Brothers Grim Side Show, a world famous performance group with the retrospective flavor of the original side shows from the faires of the turn of the century. They're amazing! Faith and Laura (and maybe Caity) will be available in the side show tent before the gigs to have their pictures taken with the audience - one at a time of course, but to express that Faith isn't always about seeing people in hospitals, schools, and military bases. She can love on ANYONE who is willing to be loved.

Wow - to think, my little girl may be screaming soon from the stage in front of thousands and thousands of people. Brings a tear...but I'm not sure if the tear will be for joy or utter shock when I see what Bryce has found for her to wear! I may just close my eyes and tell her I love her! I love you! I love you Laura.

Moving Day SUCKS!

THANK YOU to whoever it was that made this picture - it is SOOOOO real!

Moving day sucks big time, if you ask me. We started the day off pretty early, or actually, I did. The girls got to sleep in (of course) because I had to find a storage unit and get the ground work laid out. We probably could have done this last week, but I was in Florida (not where we live) and the spunky little brats would have ended up getting me a unit too large and too far away - they're like that. Fairly passive aggressive - give them an excuse and they'll make me suffer for pulling them out of the hood where they have friends and that really cool recording studio - oops, my bad!

I went to Starbucks (Fine, I'll plug my store: Santa Fe & Danforth, Edmond, OK) but I ordered the quad wet cappucino in a grande cup: my Sunday drink! This is Monday! I'm completely out of whack - Sundays are special - I get that monster so that I can be ready and prepared to attack Jason and Robin on matters that don't matter. We love the battle. Jason and Robin look forward to the tiny detailed trivial drivial arguments too - it's what we do. I'd love to have a Bible Trivia match with one of them someday - I get John and Brent on my team! Ha!

At least I had the mountains of giant and smaller flat boxes in the hall, and I had the rolls and rolls of tape to properly assemble what I needed. I just didn't have the big, fat, black, (or colored) markers to identify whatever it is that we have - and don't need - and keep anyway. What is it with us? Why do we do that? OMG! I found some of the stupidiest things in the boxes left over from the last time we moved and didn't unpack because someone reminded me that we were probably only going to be staying long enough to unpack and sort out, and repack it again. Why even take the boxes out of the garage, why not just live in the house with the basics: couch, loveseat, tv, stand, stool, table, picture frame here - maybe there? I insisted on my bed being put together, and I insisted on it being packed away correctly this time as well, but yes - yes, it is true... of all the things to get lost between here and there, my headboard is no where to be seen! Passive aggressive little lassies - I'm sure of it!

Why do I have 6 flat irons? Why do I need 132 dishes if we have 3 girls in the family and Reuben's things have been packed and shipped to Alaska? Why do I have phone books in boxes from 1999? Why do I have electrical tech books for Excel, Powerpoint 2.0, and DOS programming? Why do I have boxes of photos that I have copies of in scrap books? Why do I have pepper, cumin, dill, and hardened (petrified) cheddar cheese in a box marked "Kitchen Stuff". It would have been useful say - 1 year ago! Not the cheese - that's just needless. No, you don't even want to know that the kids packed the dirty cat litter because the trashcans were too full when we moved last time. I found it today. Yes, I found it ....today! It was under a saddle.

The garage sale went well enough, except most garage sales start at 7:00 in the morning and my girls got out of bed at 2:00 p.m. Friday, so we did things a little different. We had a flashlight sale after dark when the people kept coming and the little VHS tapes, throw blankets, stuffed animals and electronic cords kept selling. My girls were really into it by about midnight, they went to the pasture where they keep their two horses and sold them! Yes, no, I'm serious...we had two registered paint horses in the front yard from around 12:30 a.m. to 5:00 when a guy came by with a trailer and bought them both. Talk about a steal - my girls practically gave them away, but I didn't care, they're GONE.

Seeing how the horses were gone, I wondered if the moped, motorcycle, john boat, sea-doos and snow skis were going to make it on the chopping block - they did! My daughters got the sale-bug and the house was practically emptied by Saturday night. They sold my dining room table and chairs, all of my necessary appliances, only the sofa and loveseat stayed, and only because they were new and I refused to let them give them away for a fraction of their retail investment. But, I was kind enough to let them get rid of 3 of their stereos, 2 televisions, 2 DVD players, all of their playstations and games, and they even sold off the books I was going to donate anyway - but I made them put a few bucks back for the Jesus House where the books would have ended up.

On the whole I'd say it went OK - but MOVING SUCKS. We're in a storage unit, 10x20, and the boxes will just about reach the top tomorrow when we're finished. Interesting how we went from two 10x20's last time to only 1, but hey - they have summer spending money now, and we're 2 horses less on the ranch. (I say ranch, we were boarding) One of the best things about today was Laura hooking up with her old flame Colton. He was HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY to show up and help us load and move our lives away if it meant seeing his true love again. He and Laura met on the floor at the karate gym - grappling can be such a personal experience for a young man. He's in love.

Hope you had a better Monday than we did...oh, and it rained, and then the song came on, but it didn't get me down....don't ask what song, if you have to ask what song you're too young to be reading my blog!

National Keynote Speaker Seeks Employment!

Couldn't hurt! I'll just post here on the blog that I'm out there looking for a place to talk - who knows, maybe someone needing a keynote speaker will Google the words "keynote speaker" and hey - come up with me! Yes, that could happen. 

So, you've found me. You're thinking - yes, we really need a keynote speaker - one who will be diversified enough to fulfill our every need. Oh, but where to look - where do you find someone who, at the turn of a second hand, will drop whatever it is that he or she is doing - jump on a jet and come to our banquet? Where on earth do I find someone with JUST enough humor, JUST enough wit - someone who dresses well, carries themselves with ease, has an eye on the world's current events - and Oh, if she/he would only be inexpensive that would be best --where!

 HELLO!! I'm standing right here, you can't see it, because I'm outside of the computer today. I'm not nesting inside the internal guts of the machine this week - no, I'm somewhere between jobs, floating anywhere between Oklahoma, Texas, Florida, Louisiana, California and New York. I'm out there looking for you! I promise to be entertaining, not too controversial, I won't jump on your furniture - but I will make you smile. My agent thinks I'm hilarious because so far he hasn't had to actually book me - I don't stop looking for work long enough to let him do his job. Just so afraid he won't find me something, so I'm pounding the keyboard looking - searching - looking - BEGGING actually.

I want to work - it's that inexpensive thing, kills me! I do find that it helps the hosts out though! So, you're hoping to find someone with enough energy to kick the day off, and finish it out. You're looking for someone who knows the difference between Bull Run and the Second Attack? Oh, so you're looking for someone with compassion, passion, heart, desire, determination, motivation, strength, and UMPH? OH, pick me! Pick ME!! Please, over here...see me now? Yes, hello, how are you, I'm Jude Stringfellow - keynote speaker, professor of English, poet, author - you know, all around know-it-much, and just think - I come with my very own dog!

 Not just any dog mind you, no, she's a celebrity dog, a happy in-your-face smiling mutt with all the stamina you were looking for! YES...why yes, we'd love to come to your town....when? Now? YES! Thank you. Whatever your topic, as long as its something I have some knowledge of, or something I could learn while flying to you - albeit - probably needs to be relatively close to my personal views, mind you - no one needs a liar or a cheat - just an honest, hard working, upbeat, unique and unusual speaker with glee in my voice, a spring in my step - and here's another little secret; I'm still trying to lose weight, so you don't have spring for dessert!

 No, just a paycheck, and a couple of Starbucks will do. Faith's manager has a small stipulation, we have to fly with her in the cabin, and she must be in a good,clean pet friendly hotel - at the end of the day, she's still a dog! Thank you for looking, thank you for thinking of us...we can't wait to meet you! LOL - smiling, can't wait to tell Mom we'll be employed again! 

Farewell Dear Edmond!

It may be a bit premature at this point to say goodbye to my adoptive city of Edmond, Oklahoma, but it looks and feels like we will soon be calling Florida or perhaps Texas home in just a very short while.

Edmond, Oklahoma, as you can see on this highly sophisticated map drawing is located JUST above the great city of Oklahoma City, where I was born. Growing up I was privileged to call Bethany, Oklahoma my home. Bethany, like Edmond, is a little suburb of the City, but situated to the west. Both Edmond and Bethany are college towns, hosting the University of Central Oklahoma in E-town, and Southern Nazerene University in Bethany. Education was always surrounding me, still is, and I hope it never disappears completely...when given an option, I typically choose to office or hang out at a university rather than a regular library, coffee house, or even a bookstore. There's just so much learning going on most of the time - whether the students are actually aware of it happening or not.

Today we decided to visit as many Edmond officers and firefighters as we could, just incase we don't get the chance to do so before we leave. One of the greatest assets a city has is its fire department and its police department. The strength of any great city depends on their men and women who are dedicated to help support, strengthen, protect, and service the citizens of the township/county involved. We thank them all. Today the firefighters at Edmond were playing volleyball outside in 90 degree weather, sweating, and just basically passing the time - when suddenly out of nowhere a little two-legged dog decided to come out to play! They were the most gracious of hosts, even finding some left over bacon and eggs from this morning's breakfast - the police have yet to be so serving! LOL

If I had a million dollars and could live where I wanted to live, travel out of the city (OKC) without problems, and maintain the position I have to have with the new employment I am seeking - I would remain in my fare city of Edmond. The trails, ponds, parks, and paths alone are among the most beautiful in the southwest - not to mention the taxes are rather low, the shopkeepers friendly, and get this....8 Starbucks! Yes, we have 8 Starbucks in the surrounding area, and that simply can't be said for the city I'm thinking of moving to. I swear if I have to drive more than 3 miles to get my coffee I'll be moving back for that reason alone! How do they live without the green mermaid busting out in the Orlando area? It boggles my mind!

The City of Edmond, like most big-small towns is full of life, laughter, loving, and learning. I mentioned the university, but there is open air theatre, museums, typical big and small restaurants, mom-and-pop downtown shops as diversified as the history of Edmond, itself. 100+ years ago this area was known as Indian Territory, opening its doors to the city with residents living in tents and staking their 160 acres of free land during the run of the Unassigned Land in 1889. 1907 found Edmond a part of the nation's fastest growing population - the train helped of course, as did the natural wildlife with streams, creeks and lakes abounding. It's still one of the most sought out cities in terms of residential growth - blue ribbon schools, fantastic academic and athletic tributes make up Edmond. (Oh, and Shannon Miller is from Edmond, the most decorated gymnast in the world!)

We'll certainly miss our city soon, but will return as often as we can - I'll probably have to give up my post office box, and I won't be able to stop by the university library to give Melody Jackson and her staff a bad time, but I'll keep them in my heart forever - if Edmond has a motto I don't know it, but if I had to write one for the city it would be :Family, Friends, and Fair Living - Keep it Green! Edmond's University of Central Oklahoma was voted as one of the nation's TOP 10 universities for supporting a greener way of living - it's just a better way when you can.

Thanks Edmond.

Casting My Vote for the Bird!

Today is the last day to vote for the quarter that will represent the state of Oklahoma. I was hoping our coin would come out in 2007, marking our 100th year as a state, but it didn't happen. I was also hoping that we would have the bird, the banded (collared) lizard, the bison, mistletoe, and redbud tree on the coin...at least we got the bird. (Maybe, it's in the 5 top final choices)

I voted for the bird!

Every other coin finalist (besides hosting oil wells, peace pipes and the state itself) has a replica of a 1930's statue of the Pioneer Woman walking briskly through the meadow with her son by the hand. She's carrying a book, that the scultor in 1930 described as a Bible. OK, so what, it's a Bible. The woman is a Christian, probably going to service, and taking her kid with her...we do that sort of thing still in Oklahoma, but the controversy over it has been so ridiculous it begs the question: Why would you NOT want the woman with the Bible, but you don't mind the Indian's peace pipe, which we're sure held illegal substances at one point? Stupid question? I don't think so - the bird at least CAN'T be questioned...it's OUR bird. The Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher.

I say - GIVE THEM THE BIRD! It would be best actually to show the Land Run of the Unassigned Lands of 1889 - or a Sooner Wagon with a big fat OU right in the middle of it, but then the Cowboy fans of O-State would have to complain. Oh, hey - we could have a tornado taking out a trailer park, or perhaps a dust storm displacing families - that happens here too; but I guess something pleasant is the goal - afterall, we would like to clean up our image just a tad from time to time. Our state motto should be changed if we're thinking of cleaning up the act. "Oklahoma is OK" seems a bit - well, average or underachieved.

(Quiet! At least we didn't vote the coin in that depicted the pregnant teenage girl standing OUTSIDE the school house cooking meth. That was literally a suggestion by one of the art teachers of a public school - his way of protesting our policies toward pregnant students. But again, not the image of the state that should be remembered. AGAIN, I say - GIVE THEM THE BIRD!) Good Luck little guy!

Me, Hosting the VIEW

I had JUST finished my blog about praying for Rosie, when several e-mails flooded in asking me if I would be interested in being the next host on the show The View! None of these e-mails came from ABC or Ms. Walters, mind you, but I had to laugh - I'm available! I'm not working right now, and yes, I guess I wouldn't mind being on the show if my opinions weren't thrown out the door immediately upon interviewing me for the position.

I can't help but think that my moderate to conservative side would expose itself from time to time - talk about controversy...in today's world of television it isn't always the left wingest getting the evil-eye from the sponsors or the producers, but rather the Glenn Becks of the world; well, the Jude Stringfellows of the world for that matter. Glenn and I DO see eye-to-eye, and he's been called twisted, freakish, paranoid, stupid, and all sorts of things by the lefties....I crunch my evening cereal, drink down my green tea in his honor and usually end up shouting "Hell yeah!" everytime he makes a point - well, nearly everytime. I save a little of the enthusiasm for Nancy Grace when she throws the book at a judge for making a bad call from the bench!

Sure, go ahead and hire me Ms. Walters - I actually have a really good head on my shoulders, I can even correct the spelling and the writings of the producers and/or show lords before the taping to be sure all connotations and antecedents are in the right place! Hey, I can review movies from the stand point of someone who hides her eyes during certain scenes of CSI. I can report on the spiritual aspects, agree with Elizabeth more than most, and put in a good word for Dr. Phil, because he and I are on the same page when it comes to depression, working through issues of anger, raising teens to do what we say - and oh, I have a MySpace! I do, I really do, and because of that I'm cool - sure, hire me.

I double-dog dare you!

Speaking of DOGS...I could bring mine. That would be both inspiring and interesting. If I can help make a dog walk upright, showing the love, compassion, and determination it takes to do that sort of thing - I bet I could answer a few questions, throw in my opinion, and bring up the ratings - at least make it a bit more even in terms of demographics. You'd bring in a whole new audience to VIEW The VIEW.

Call me, we'll do Starbucks! My agent is Mike Maguire (571) 215-1147

The Difference: Rich and Famous

I was in the Orlando International Airport yesterday with my dog Faith. Without a doubt we were noticed. It's hard not to notice a skipping two-legged dog off her leash; tongue wagging, sporting a vivid orange vest. She was captivating. She was mesmerizing. She was INSPIRING. One other thing you may have deduced from realizing that I'm the owner of Faith the Two-Legged Dog, is that Faith is well, really very famous.

One of the more interesting (and almost natural) assumptions that the general public makes when they think of fame, is to relate it, associate it, and even assume it accompanies the word "rich". This is NOT always the case. To be perfectly humble about it - we're not. I remember thinking to myself, and whispering to Faith "You know, you should be in movies!" She shows off well enough - she delights, spins, dances, she even sneezes in a very interesting way - she really should be entertaining the masses. To put it bluntly, that would solve a few situations I find myself in. I've literally had to give up work to continue showing her talents off, and it's created a velvet monster. On one hand I desperately want to do this. I want to go to military stations, hospitals, schools, and libraries to give speeches and to let Faith's message and mission be heard. She deserves to be held, loved, petted, talked about, and found to be the inspiration that she is...but there's always that other hand, isn't there?

Yes, there most certainly is a difference between the word "rich" and the word "famous". It's almost like comparing the words "education" and "employment"! They do not always go together well - another thing I would like to see change in my life. Being an unemployed educator means I have little to fall back on in terms of finances - which has been OK, until this week that is. However, there is HOPE...as well as FAITH. The light at the end of the tunnel is glowing and growing - it just might take a little time to spark, that's all.

No matter the situation there are two very keen points I hope to drive home today: The first being that being without money, funds, or capital does not make one poor . I don't have any reason to call myself rich, but there is also an equal reason, if not a more substantial reason to never consider myself poor - because the damning connotation of that word would purport not only am I without hope, but that I am without drive - I have drive. I will survive this lull. My second point is: This too shall pass. Yes, I got that phrase from the Bible, but it's a good one. The fact that all things are known and all things work together for good for them who not only love the Lord, but for those who are called to His purpose - it gives me great promise to know...this too, will pass.

So, when you see me in the airports, and/or you see me on the streets of NYC...whether I'm dressed to speak for thousands, or wearing my camo pants and probably some rock n' roll t-shirt - looking for a Starbucks, please come up to me and say hello. Tell me you're doing OK, and that you have been where I am, perhaps you're there now. We can pray for each other, we can encourage each other - and with a little FAITH, we can do this slump thing - with grace.

When it rains - There's a TORNADO!

I don't think I have ever - I mean ever - been in such a situation. I won't say it's a mess, I won't say it's a tragedy, it's a strange, and unfortunate situation. About 2 months ago my dog Faith was lost on an American Airlines flight. We were suppose to BOTH end up in Orlando, Florida but that didn't happen. I remember the day specifically because Homeland Security issued an ORANGE alert in the nation's airports, and all things non-human were to be stored under the cabin in cargo - OOPS. That was the first mistake. Faith was shipped somewhere - probably Chicago, but I went to Orlando.

Because of the mistake, American wanted to make it up to us. They issued a statement of apology to me of course, provided a voucher for free flight, allowed us to sit in First Class on our return trip, hosted us at the Admiral's Club for over 24 hours I think when the weather didn't allow us to return home - and then they decided to make a mandate that we always fly First Class - sounds great doesn't it? NOT. When they forced us to fly First Class we (Faith and I) lost several military gigs as well as other paying gigs due to the fact that the hosts were unable to pay the difference between the Coach fares and the First Class fares - think about it, would YOU or your company prefer Coach or First Class. Hosts have budgets to work with.

So, having lost over $8000 in would-be pay, and NOW my book deal, my precious-I-was-totally-counting-on-you book deal falling through (Thanks to a particular agent who will go unnamed) I have found myself unable to even pay my rent and bills - NO, I'm serious. Our savings have been rocked, we had family issues to deal with between January and March as well as taxes from last year to pay - we're being kicked out of our house this week. So, when it rains - sometimes it can cause a tornado.

Here's the really cool part - I'm OK.

I decided to let it go, let God have the reins and just do what I do best, and that's to work at the problem rather than cry over it again, or to get myself all worked up. No good ever comes from beating yourself up -whether it's your fault or not. I have to let it go. I can't control it, I can't really fix it alone, I can't make it better without help. I just have to see what happens to us - but I know that WITH A LITTLE FAITH (title of my book, great plug huh?) I'll be able to say that all will be well. It has to be, there are no options. I can't believe that it won't be OK...it must be fixed, therefore, I will wait for God to show me what to do. If He lets me, I'll be a part of the solution, I probably need to be.

I went to Brevard and Seminole Counties in Florida this week to give two keynote speeches for lawmakers, victims advocates, peacekeepers, and the wonder families and victims of violent crime. The topic of my speeches was accepting the situation, empowering yourself through others, and being available for others when you have the ability to do so. I got the idea from my dog Faith. She accepted her situation immediately, she didn't deny she was a dog in trouble. She needed help and when it came time to ask for it, she used her eyes - she couldn't speak. When we helped her, we helped ourselves. Now, we're reaching out, and we're hoping to both receive love and give it. We need prayer, and we need work.

If you have a need for a public speaker, a Ph.D. in Administration, perhaps an administrator in your office, corporation or just someone to train your employees - call me. I am absolutely available. I would prefer full time and permanent work, and believe it or not, we're not as expensive as you may be thinking. My agent is Mike Maguire, and he is handling any and all calls. His number is: 571-215-1147 You can also e-mail me at: faith@faiththedog.net.

Wow, it just feels GREAT beyond my expectations even, to know that people love God, they love my dog, they love helping - and the fact that I can reach out makes me that much more motivated to help when it's my turn to do so again. Let it rain - I know the Rainmaker!

Yankee Candles Should Hire Me!

There I was, minding my own business, (which is what I do) and my candle burned out on me. OUT-GONE, no more! The problem is that it wasn't to the point that is was suppose to stop. I tried lighting it, and lighting it, but it didn't take. There was something around the wick....some sort of a boot, sock, something protecting the wick - and by protection I mean the boot thing didn't want fire around the wick any longer!

I took the initative to use the Yankee Candle website www.yankeecandle.com, just incase you were having doubts about what that site might actually be. I wrote to customer service to ask questions, more or less to explain my concern for future purchases, but the answers I received wasn't really as helpful as I had hoped. Yankee Candle kept asking me to return the candles for a full refund or exchange!

To be honest the candle (actually there were 2) were almost gone, so I didn't feel as if a full refund or exchange was fair, I was really just wanting to talk with them about why they would choose to protect their wicks more than 1/2 an inch from the bottom if the warning label instructed me to only burn to that point? Just a question...just a simple, no hassle question -- but nothing ever really works out to be as simple as you think. Yankee Candle's customer service was insistant...they wanted to replace the entire lot! They were FORCING me to take the candles to the nearest location and get NEW candles - I argued of course, as this seemed out of context, completely unprofessional and out of the realm of what business-as-usual has been in the past.

Yankee Candle's Quail Spring Mall's store was the nearly location to my home in Edmond, Oklahoma so I took my nearly burned to the end candles to show the good ladies that work in the store what I was talking about - I argued again when they insisted that I exchange my candles for new replacements - I felt like an idiot returning 95% burned candles for 100% newly unburned, unmolested candles - and get this....MISTY told me I could pick any scent I wanted. I didn't have to take home the Lavender Sage Swirl scent again. I could have ....anything! Brenda wasn't much help either - she smiled the whole time, said really nice things to me, she was helping YANKEE CANDLE's clean, unspoiled, and seemingly perfectly genuine reputation...she stood there nodding, smiling, and being all pretty! Misty even wrapped my new scented candles and put them in a new bag!

No, Yankee Candles is losing too much money! They simply have to hire me. I could do some really good recovery for them. When a customer called or came in to exchange a candle I could refuse them access - I could ask if they enjoyed the time they had with the candle, I could ask them if they felt that bringing me an old, dirty, ugly, worn out candle in exchange for a new, preciously perfect one was fair - or if it was even conceivable that a person of integrity could assume such a position in life that they would ever expect a bonafide giant corporation to bow to their every whim or need...just because a customer isn't satisfied, is that any reason to give them what they want? Yankee Candles thinks so!

Fine! Fine! You go right ahead with your smiling, your helping, your in-your-face customer service come-again type of attitude girls...see if I come back! (Actually...I probably will, I felt rather important.) Thanks.