Something that I remember from the time I was growing up is that Santa Claus was real, and my dad was pretty close to him; they were good friends. Santa relied on my dad to help him unload some of the presents he had in his sleigh, and then my dad would store them in his workshop. Since Santa's workshop was where a lot of things were actually made, and my dad was a trim carpenter (as well as Western Union's Regional Manager for Electronic Circuits), Daddy was often called up to the North Pole to fix things or just to make sure the elves were using the woodworking tools correctly. I know this because my dad told me so.
Growing up in the 60s and 70s was a good time to experience life without all the electronic distractions we have today. At 10 or 11, I wanted a bike, not something that would cost $$$$ and force my parents to go into their savings to buy for me. I wanted simple things, and that may very well be because my parents told me the only things I could put on my Christmas wish list were, in fact, simple things. We never really put much of an emphasis on the price of a gift - it really was the thought that counted.
After adulthood, things changed a lot for me. Grandparents passed, older aunts and uncles passed, and even a few of my cousins passed, and they were really close to my age. We stopped going the extra distance to visit folks, and after I had my own children, I basically stopped visiting the extended family altogether, just as they had stopped visiting me. Times change, people get busy, and there are other excuses.
Now, because I'm really super old, and I have had a few more experiences, I flat out CHOOSE not to visit those who have the same lineage as I have. There's not a single reason to do so; even some of my intimate family have made decisions and choices that I either disapprove of or disagree with. I have to now choose whether to put up with them for a while, in a sense "look the other way" for the sake of gathering, or I can do what I have chosen to do, and that's to let them know I love them - but I'm not compromising myself or my dignity for friend or foe; or in some cases, as I said, family.
Nothing would make me happier than to think and believe that everyone and everything would somehow be mended and every difference between everyone would just simply disappear, but that's not the truth. I can't lie to myself, and I won't lie to anyone else about it. I may choose not to talk about it, but I will not pretend that all is right when it certainly is not. The best thing I can do for the ones I love, and of course, for myself, is to let God have the situation - to lean NOT to my own understanding, but in all ways, let God handle the details. (He's welcome to the entire mess, actually.)
Traditions are great; they really are, but they are not always feasible, and they are not always practical. I'm not going to get dressed or drive an hour to have lunch with someone (or more than one) that I wouldn't bother to flip off on any other day. I'm not going to buy expensive gifts to fit in, and I'm not going to throw money out the door gifting someone who will likely either regift my gift (as has been the case) or just let it gather dust. One of my family members told me that a gift card would fit best in her stocking - but of course, only if it was maxed out to the limit of what it could hold. Nope.
Joking about love, gifts, and the actual reason for our celebration of this particular holiday will not set well with me; it never has. If I don't eat a big fussy dinner on this day but prefer to heat up a day-old lasagna with some fresh garlic toast on the side, you can bet I'll be thankful for it. I'll wish Jesus a Happy Birthday, and I'll breathe so much better knowing I saved time, effort, money, and my heart from breaking over and over again. For my life, I can't stop hoping those people will be different the next time I see them; they never are.
If I had one, my Christmas wish would be for peace - true and unbridled peace for every living person and being and for those who have passed. Just restful, uninterrupted peace. If that's what you find in your stocking, I pray you'll reach into your soul and thank the ONE who provided it for you. You need only to turn to the 2nd chapter of Luke to read all about it. There is a reason we say "Merry Christmas," and it is not to spend what we don't have or lie to the people we see. It's to remember, and always remember, that He is and will always be the true gift.
MERRY CHRISTMAS...and I really do mean that.
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