So, I Nearly Died Today.

 So, yeah, I nearly cashed it all in today, and when that happens, and I survive, I feel the need to at least tell people who may actually read my blog because they will at least know that I care enough about them to think about them in these moments. I'll be really honest, I wasn't thinking about any of you when it was happening. I was too busy being really upset about my stupid body reacting the way it does.

    First, the wind up. I'll tell you what I do every day, and by every day, I mean I'm out there doing what I do, and if it gets done, it gets done. There are times when I think I do something when I actually haven't. OK, so I take supplements on what should be a daily basis. One of the ways I take them is by eyedropper -that is, the liquid supplements that I take. I take (or took) green tea extract this way.

    This morning, I took the same dosage as I typically do. Still, the extract decided on its own, and with intentional malice, to attack the back of my throat so violently that my esophagus closed up, and I was in the ravages of what some may call "dry drowning." I saw this on Quincy, so you know I know what I'm talking about. The good doctor warns people about singing in the shower, saying you should do it with your back to the water since the water can hit the back of your throat, and your throat then tries to protect your lungs by closing. This is what I think happened.

    My damn throat literally shut, but my body wasn't having it. I began hacking, not choking; there is a difference. I could not stop hacking, and it was deep drawings from my lungs to push the opening and to get whatever (felt like) liquid out of my throat, but this went on every 15-20 seconds for literally 30 full minutes. It slowed down after the 15th minute, and I only coughed every 30-40 seconds, but the cough's deepness was still causing me back pain.

    I sat on the couch, all the while assuring my daughter that I would be OK, though not really knowing if I was lying to her. Brave, brave soul that I am, I managed to stand up between coughs and go to the "important paper" box that we stored in the cabinet. I pulled out the insurance policies and set them on the cabinet next to the coffee machine so she could at least find them if she needed to. I'm so considerate! I am also the biggest dork on the planet, but at least I am cognitive. That really matters to me, too.

    The dogs were there, of course, laying beside me and licking my clothes and face and hands to let me know they wanted me to stay alive. They don't have opposable thumbs and can't pour their own dog food or get their own water. They do have Laura for that, so they're OK.  The cats looked at me as if I was a bother. I couldn't stop getting angry at my body for the way it was reacting. I was glad it was reacting, mind you, I knew what it was doing was trying to right what had gone so wrong, but you'd think after a few good coughs, it would all be alright. 

    Anyway, after all was said and done - and Laura was assured that she would not have to file for beneficiary benefits, I put the policies away and drank hot coffee until my stomach protested, asking me to switch to tea. Again, my body really needs to do what my head wants it to do; that's just me, but it's so annoying! I was praying during the time I was dying, asking God if this is really the way I should go out - it just seems so ridiculously common. He helped me. He always helps me. I love God.

    So, here I am, an hour later, still now and again clearing what seems to be lingering in the back of my throat, hoping I never have to go through that again. Like the dork that I am and embrace, I've thrown out the liquid supplements. I mean, I could put them in coffee or tea, but that may make them taste funny, and that, too, would annoy me. The things I do to remain unannoyed and/or uninconvenienced are amazing. 

    There you go—I'm still here, still writing. I hope to be so for a while, but if I'm not, and you see Laura's post stating that I've gone to see Jesus, I do hope you realize I am not coming back! Nope! If I cross that line, there is no return for me. I will grab onto whatever I can over on that side and refuse re-entry! I can't think of anything being better than being with my Lord -- so yeah, it's not that I mind dying, but the method of exit is a problem at times for me.  At least if I did die, I would go up in the rapture that much faster since the dead in Christ rise first!

Woot!