In Dr. Seuss' story "The Zax", the good author expresses the stark and obvious differences (not the similarities) of the two main characters which are; the North Going Zax and the South Going Zax. In the story the North Going Zax proclaims that he always goes North and when he runs into the South Going Zax, he tells him flat out to "Get out of my way". Apparently, and you can imagine, the two meet at an intersection of life, and one refuses to budge for the other. There is a stand off. There is a non-movement. There is a problem. I think the good doctor was really trying to hint at another issue all together with this one. Could it be that there are folks out there that don't see things the same way we see them? Could it be that there are huge differences between us all and we are more or less too stubborn to step aside allowing another person to have his or her own opinion? I think so, but feel free to disagree. I'll let you pass.
The American Revolutionary War was a great conflict between people who mostly came from the British Isles, ( but there were many others who came from other parts of the world for a chance to live their own way) and the Crown, be it English, Scottish, Welsh, and some Irish, anyone and everyone who was loyal to the Crown by duty or birth. This war established a very strong ZAX movement indeed; but it was not to be the last. Later, less than 100 years in fact, there was another war, the war of the States, the Northern Aggression, some call it the Civil War. In that conflict we literally had the distinction of North and South for sure, and there are just a few things that were never conquered or changed even if the tallies were counted in that fateful event. The South is still very much the South, and there's not a damn thing any Yankee can do about it.
We sound different down here, we say things differently, we approach things differently, and believe me when I tell you we don't always let you see the cards we're holding, but we may fan them in front of you to pretend to stave off the heat. All we're really doing at that point is drawing you in for the kill. Be very careful around a long-legged bright-eyed girl bearing gifts of sweet tea and biscuits. You have been warned. One of the funnier things I've ever seen or heard come out of the mouth of a Yankee friend of mine (I do have them) is that we Southerners (he meant me, of course) can smile through the pain of an insult and say the nicest thing in retort when everyone with blood in their veins knows there will be an uprising and it will be both swift and precise....but you don't know exactly when or where that will happen. Just know it will in fact happen.
I saw a meme the other day that made me giggle and thank Sweet Baby Jesus that I was born in the South. The meme had a split picture showing cornbread on one side and buttered biscuits on the other. There was caption that read "Pick one". I thought that was hilarious. Why would I do something like that when the answer is obviously "both". I read through the comments and noticed a few other souls had answered as I would have, only to find comments berating them for not "getting the point" of the meme. Apparently the Yankee who produced such nonsense expected people to actually choose one side over the other. There is no reason for it when butter and honey spread nicely over both! That's a kin to asking someone to choose football or baseball; nonsense. The only true answer is "Both".
I was just about to share the meme on my own Facebook wall when I noticed that the photo of the cornbread had a square glass pan in the background with the rest of the cornbread still inside of it. What the hell were they thinking? Where did that photo come from and who baked their precious cornbread in a Pyrex dish when everyone knows you use Gramma's old iron skillet? I couldn't even post the meme out of fear of possibly being turned in and then losing my Southern Card. I'm not about to let that happen. Close call. Good thing I looked! If those two were given to me to choose from I'd have to take the biscuits, but then again, knowing what I know now about the damn cornbread, I may ask if they used sugar in either, or if (God forbid) they measured their butter before cutting it into the flour! (OMG...do you think they used something else other than butter?) No thank you, I'll just stay home and cook breakfast myself.
Some of my Northern friends think I'm crazy for saying "Thank you" to my phone Siri, or holding the door open for someone before I enter the store. I can't help it if my Mama put manners on me at an early age, and I can't help it if their Mama didn't love them enough to show them the right way to do things. I do pray for them though, and I hope they find it in their souls to be less stressed and more blessed. I think if I had to pick one really big difference between the North and the South it would be insistence up that way for fast-pace living and the impatience I see that they carry out when discussing a matter. They may have "won the war" but they don't hold a candle to our hospitality, and it's true, more people feel more comforted in an airplane that's experiencing turbulence if when the Captain comes on the overhead speaker to assure them everything is going to be OK, if that Captain has a Southern drawl. Then again, a Northern Captain may not give a damn to let the people know.
If you do decide to mosey on down to the South don't forget your manners. If you do, you will be cordially reminded. Boomer Sooner.
Photo Credit: The Pioneer Woman (another Okie)
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