My best friend came over this evening to make sure that I wasn't growing an extra foot out of my skull because I decided to finally (break down) and get the first of two jabs of the stupid crummy idiotic, non-working-anyway vaccine. She's the type who was OK with standing in line the first week they rolled the vaccines out; I'm the type who went in kicking and screaming only after losing my third or fourth really exceptionally good job offer due to the fact that I hadn't been vaccinated. I won't go into the whole rant because I did that in another recent blog. This blog is about having no regrets. I'm trying to talk myself into that right now. I'm trying to convince myself that what I do and what I did are for the greater good and I should have no true regrets. We'll wait a minute and see if I really feel that way or not. Right now I'm in the infant stages of compressed confusion mixed in with pissy attitude. (Mine, not anyone else)
My friend (we'll call her "Jeannie") said to me, "You know, I've noticed that you will write whatever you want to, you'll say whatever you think you need to say, and you really don't have any regrets about it." She went on to add, "I mean, you've been fired over it. You've been terminated, let go, thrown to the wolves really." I stopped her to let her know that yes, she spoke the truth, and no I wasn't really concerned about being the odd one out; I'm usually the odd one out because many others (including her) don't have the gonads to say what they need to say, want to say, or must say. People don't want to offend and they don't want to get in trouble so they shut their mouths. That can lead to just as much if not more trouble in the long run! I've learned that the hard way, and that's when I do regret. If I don't say something and I don't do something and it ends up hurting me or someone else because I was being politically correct or obedient...yeah, that is regrettable for sure!
Last month I wrote to a man who I truly have a heart for. I can't say I love him because I don't know him. I have a love for him. I have a Christian based, God-given, human type of love for him, and I saw and understood him to be compromising not only his own reputation by the way he was behaving, but also saw that he was mocking OUR Jesus by what he was posting. This is a good man. This is a good solid Christian brother, and I wasn't about to just sit over on this side of the world and let him get away with it. I let him have it with both barrels. I wasn't nice. I wasn't kind. I wasn't gentle or soft. No, I just told the man straight out how it was that he was acting and the damage he was doing to his soul and witness. When I told (and showed) Jeannie what it was that I said to the man (email) she was dumbfounded. She struck a stare at me and gasped...."You sent that? I mean, you really sent that to him?" I said I did. She said, "Oh, and you know girl, I know you don't have any regrets about it because you believe you're right, but you may have really hurt him." I think I answered something like "I don't have any regrets and my words would have been easier for him in writing than what I would have said to his face." No, I don't regret what I said, but maybe how he may have taken it. I do think about that.
I'm not always right. I know this. I was however right this time. I won't back down. I don't have the right to tell him how to live his life, but when a brother in Christ did what he did, God Himself gives us a command to rebuke him in Jesus' name, and that's what I did. I know it sounds really weird, but I hope that someone would do the same or more to me (for me) if I ever do something similar. I do, I do, I do....because you talk about regret! I would REGRET it if I dragged the name of our Lord or the work of our Father through the mud just to impress another man, woman, friend, co-worker, you can't begin to know my pain or sorrow if I was allowed to get away with that. PLEASE stop me if you see me do it. No, I don't regret having scolded my friend in Jesus, I don't. He blocked me from Instagram, and that's understandable, I survived -- and opened another account. C'mon, it's 2022 -- I giggled but yeah, no regrets.
Then, about a day or so later one of his friends contacted me. I won't say who it was; don't ask. The man told me that my words had struck a chord so deep as to send my friend into the stratosphere with anger over me thinking I had any right whatsoever to judge him - - his words. Well, the mutual friend then said when he (the mutual friend) confirmed my actions were both Biblical and within my Christian commanded rights to do, the man I scolded gave his friend the same stare my friend Jeannie gave me. Disbelief, even confusion. When our mutual friend explained it, to the point that he both understood and accepted it, I was told that he is still not going to allow me on Instagram, but he can see where his actions were actually rather foolish. He took down the posts. He took down the comments. He didn't exactly apologize to everyone or to God, but he did say he was having a moment and was going to need a minute to regroup and rethink a few things. He may not post for a while so he could meditate and think about his reasons for having been so Earthly rather than Heavenly. It's hard folks. It's hard to keep our eyes on the prize constantly. We all fall short - - every one of us. That's why we're called upon to uplift one another, keep tabs on one another, encourage one another. We can't let fear of not being "Facebook Friends" or "Liked" be an issue. We're called by GOD. We're given commands. We're shown the right way - - no regrets. Lift, encourage, strengthen.
How does that song go? "Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on. For, it won't be long til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on." True words for sure, and I can't very well be weak in the words and then turn around and expect to be strong in the heart. I must be who God made me, and that's a voice to cry out for Him when addressed or told to do so. If I shutter or stumble on that I am not a good steward. I have failed the one person I was supposed to correct. Again, I beg you to correct me. I want to be corrected. How regrettable it would be if we stayed in our sin, or if we continued in our folly only to make a mockery of our lives and witness. No, I don't have regrets when I speak, it's when I am silent that I begin to question myself. I guarantee you a number of my students would say they regret me getting onto them, but I can assure you I probably didn't discipline or correct the ones I didn't care about - - only the ones worth shaping.
Love is strong. Deceit is sweet. If you are my friend, if I love you, I will help you.
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