I'm Good. Thank you.

 I feel like posting or pinning a statement on my Instagram that reads "Yeah, no, I'm fine. I don't need or want to date you. I realize you're just phishing for someone out there who will listen to your bullsh*t, but that someone isn't me!  Have a great and blessed day. I'm not only out of the market, I never stepped into it. Not shopping for a man! THANKS!"  Lately, maybe the past 2 years really, almost on a daily basis, I receive a request to chat from some lonely man online (Instagram). First, they're asking me to move over to WhatsApp so we can chat. I typically block or ignore the man, but it does make me question their abilities to both read and comprehend what part of "NO" was so damned confusing.

    I'm good. Thank you. I don't need or want to date.  I have my own place, my own car, my bank account is positive. I have a dog that loves me. If I want to go out and celebrate or just hang out I have three really adorable children, and two of them have plus-ones that can join in on the whole fun thing. I have friends I chillax with. Since I don't drink I don't go to bars. Since I don't want to hang out with anyone who may have future plans with me; I don't respond. I'm really not being rude, mean, nasty, or purposely aloof. I've stated it a number of times, and if anyone who REALLY wanted to "get to know me" could be so kind as to read the 3000+ Instagram posts, they may realize pretty soon that I'm probably (most likely anyway) not the type of gal they want to call their own. I'm absolutely stubborn, opinionated, strong-willed, thick-skulled, and independent.  I'm an intelligent and educated woman, and sometimes I speak (no wait, I always speak) my mind. I'm not even going to apologize for it. It was what I thought. Why lie?

    Recently, a man who I have been speaking with because we're friends in real life, told me that he can see why I'm not married. He had advice for me. I thought about blocking him but he was sitting in front of me. I thought about walking away but I drove, and that would leave him stranded. I don't do that. I thought about simply saying "No, really, I'm good. Thank you. I don't care why you think I'm single. I'm single because I don't want to be otherwise."  He ignored my silence and my stare. He went on to tell me, as if I was interested or would be interested, that he believed I was single because I am one of the most hard-headed, obstinate, blunt women who seemingly doesn't need a man for anything other than to open a jar now and again. OK, he may actually be onto something, so I listened. "Go on", I urged him. "I'm listening".  You see, it's not that I think I'm all-that, or so great that all these single dads (usually military or surgeons on Instagram) would want me. I just know a scam when I see it. 

    He said I was a good woman. I was both a Christian and I had my head in the game when it came to knowing what I needed financially. These are things that attract people he told me. He told me that because I was trying to stay in shape and eating correctly, taking the right supplements, talking about better health online and showing photos of my food intake that I was literally begging men to write to me so I would in fact feed them as well, and maybe work out with them, go for a jog, or a walk on that long stretch of beach that people are so apt to talk about when they describe their perfect dating scenarios.  I gushed..."Oh, OK, thanks...I guess", was my answer. Note to self: men want a woman who can bend over without falling and they want her to cook. Check. 

    I asked him why he was still hanging out with me since he knew I wasn't ever going to take him up on going out on a "real date" or allow him to buy my dinner.  He said I was an interesting subject to observe, and to watch and listen to. He said he could absolutely count on me to tell the truth, not to sugar-coat anything, and if I wanted to pay for his dinner he knew all he had to do was ask.  Such a guy!  I let him know I needed to get back to my studying of the Series 66, so we should probably head back to the parking lot where he left his car.  He smiled. 

       It's not that I'm anti-men, no, not at all. I love men. Some men are so amazingly brilliant and captivating that I could literally stare and watch them all day. I read about men, research them, study them, observe them, I even dream and fantasize about them, but I just don't want one at this time. Maybe that will change, but there's no chance in Hell or Hades that I'll change a tittle of my personality or who I am, so that guy better damn well be the ONE; and I'll know he is if and when God says so, not me. I won't make that mistake again. I learn from my past. I don't make the same mistake twice. I'll remain happily and forever single before I settle, compromise, put up with, or deal with someone who just isn't the ONE. Tall order? Well, maybe, six-feet or so is fine.  LOL...sorry, couldn't resist.

    When do we know there's a ONE? We don't. We hope, we think, we plan, we imagine, but we can't know. That's where God comes in and makes the choice. If God doesn't tell him and me that he's the ONE...he's not the ONE. If God tells him and not me, you can bet your ass that man is being blocked, ignored, shunned, and never addressed again as long as there is a Sunday on the calendar. If he is the ONE, God will let him know, and God will let me know.  The same goes for God telling me. If God tells me that this guy is the ONE then He will also tell the guy  -- I won't approach. I won't tell him what I think. I won't tell him what I think I think. I won't even hint at it, because if he's the ONE he'll tell me and I will have already been told. I will follow him. WHY? Why would I just do that? Because a woman is supposed to do that for the ONE; but only the ONE. 

    I'm good. Thank you. I don't need one right now, but if there is ONE God will dress him all up and present him in such a way that I will have no doubt and when or if he approaches me to let me know he's the ONE...I will have already been told. That hasn't happened; but my heart and soul are open to God should HE decide I need to respond. Don't hold your breath. I'm likely to be single a bit longer, and really, that's OK. I can keep myself busy with all the plans, dreams, schemes and decisions I make. In some ways I feel sorry for the guy who God pulls aside and says "There's your wife, you're welcome."  He's either really screwed up to the point that God is cursing him, or he's been really deeply in need of a loving, kind hearted, gentle natured woman who loves unconditionally and whole-heartedly. We'll see. For now, I'm good. 

Photo Credit: Lady with a Truck