Intentional Prayer - Intentional Living - Powerful Stuff

I was raised a Baptist in a southern state. Albeit, Oklahoma is considered a southwestern state, and in fact is the furthest northern southern state there is, it is still quite southern and often a little behind the times in change when it comes to spiritual expression.  If I had told my pastor at the Windsor Hills Baptist Church, that I was praying with rocks in my hand, he may have called me a demon and tried to exercise the Devil out of me in front of the congregation.  He was the type that would have videoed it and made sure he was showing his best side when he did. I don't pray like he prays. I pray to God.

I was born on a Wednesday and in church by Sunday morning, if the tells you anything about my Christian upbringing. My grandmother Edwards would have walked me to church on a daily basis if her hip wasn't so bad. She was about 70 when I born, so as I aged she aged and it was up to my cousins and my own parents to see to it that I was taught correctly about Jesus, the stories of the Bible, and the manners in which a good southern gentle girl was expected to live. This one was a little different. I have always been a seer, I see things. I feel things, I know things. I don't know how or why, but I can tell you that the first time I brought my guardian angel up in Sunday School I was told I was never to do that again. I needed to wash that thought right out of my head with soapy water if I needed to. Angels may exist of course, they told me, but we weren't actually able to see them!  (They may not be able to, I thought, but I do. He's MY angel.)

I knew about my personal guardian angel when I was very young. I named him Sam because he was my friend and I saw him, felt him, talked with him, conversed with him, listened to him, and he has never left me - - but there were many years that as a fool I listened to others and ignored Sam so that I wouldn't look out of place, or be called a "weirdo" by my peers. That was MY mistake. I knew Sam was still on my left side. I felt him there, but I wasn't going to be THAT person I didn't make a big deal out of it.

 Today I hold rocks in my hands when I pray (just one really) because my Bible tells me that rocks are alive and that they will praise God if I forget to. The Bible also assures me that angels come to us in our lifetime and we don't know it, but it doesn't mean that we can't see and know them when they do reveal themselves. Rocks are conduits to the earth and to Heaven, they had to come from somewhere and I believe they came all at the same time when God said "Let there be Light". 

In my spirit I pray to the Lord YHVH and I do so through Christ. I don't believe I am able to pray to Him without Christ, but that is my belief, and I would not force it on another. I hold the rocks to reassure and to remind me that we each have a different and colorful purpose. Why would He make one rock this color, another one stronger, another one only to be found in certain places? In my spiritual path and/or journey recently. I don't do the Eastern religious paths such as Chakra, that would be wrong.

 Psalms. 37:4 ("Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of you heart") is a very strong and powerful truth. I know it to be very very true. Just a few years back I dreamed that Faith (my dog) should be seen throughout the world, and everyone should know that a dog is important to God just as they are important to Him. I wanted the world to know the story, the message of being willing to accept help and the message of being willing to give help when it is needed. The two-fold message of my dog Faith is very real, it is very necessary, and it is very easy to grasp - - do the right thing; help someone. I find that when I make myself available to help others my soul is blessed - - I find peace. The practice of intentional prayer is very very powerful.I don't want to be angry, I don't want to be unforgiving, I want to be ego-free and 100% accepting to whatever I'm suppose to do. 

This is not an easy thing for a woman, a Celtic woman, a Scorpio Celtic woman, but God is awesome as I say, and He was able to show me where to begin my journey - - at the first step. I prayed with rocks for years and I will never stop. I pray with honesty, and I will never stop or compromise that. I pray asking for very very (oh so very) specific things - - and I believe it has already been given.  I put on the incense for sensory pleasure, maybe a little Celtic flute music for the ears, but my focus is in the prayer and the intention of what it is that I desire. I can not live for you. I can not think for you. I can not ask for you, but in this very same vein of thought - - you will never think or feel for me. In fact, trying to will only alienate you from my soul; I would rather release you as being negative energy than to argue and keep you close to me. Prayer is personal, though we often pray for others.

 Because I know what I have come to believe I know that I will never not believe it. What I have asked for I already have in my heart - - and this is good. Powerful? Very. Intentional? Absolutely. Freedom in our spirits is our right - - I choose to be rooted in Christianity, but that doesn't mean I don't see angels and talk to rocks...maybe you could try it. Let's go Sam! (Psst...Sam's real name is Theonopholus).

Postcards from Iraq

It can't all be fun and games in the "Sand Box". Sometimes a man (and/or woman) has to work for a living and do what is needed to be done to protect our nation from the wars that are at hand.

Here in these photos you see clearly that these four man are up to the challenge of being 100% focused on their particular duties. At times our nation's best is required to guard the most dangerous of posts including the backyards of the ally-Iraqi forces just incase a bad guy comes across the fence line and steals a pair of trousers for their own kid! In another shot you see that the Americans are completing their rosters by hiring dual citizens to act upon the nation's great need to have the Mexican-Americans of our great country represented in this war - - armed to the teeth, but ready to party at any given moment!

Reuben's friends and buddies in the war will forever be in his heart and on his mind when he leaves Iraq in just a few more weeks. He may never actually see these guys again, so taking wild and wonderful photos of them relaxing and just goofing off is a great way to remember the lighter side of war! I mean, sure you have missions and you have to blow things up, bust things down, roll over things, and keep your head down at times. Sure, you can't really change out of your uniform unless you're taking a shower and then sometimes taking a shower IN your uniform can take care of the laundry needs as well as getting clean...that makes perfect sense to me, and why not, boys will be boys... and no, I'm not forgetting the women in Iraq, it's just that there are none where Reuben is, and that sometimes leads to the strange behavior I hear about at 3:12 in the morning - - not that I can understand a word out of my son's mouth while he's scream/laughing at me, but he sends pictures to explain it, which is always good.

The kid with the little robot tinker toy thing - - not my son. My son would have built his out of bright plastic Legos and had an OU painted on the side of it. You can't see the OU on the side of his actual tank that he's popping out of to wave to the camera, but just imagine it there - - he didn't please the General, but at least the enemy knows he won't stop - won't ever stop...Boomer Sooner!

Have fun kid, I'll miss you when you go back. Send photos...call later in the day!

Let There Be Love - R.I.P. "Cookie"

Cookie - 6 weeks old 2008

Cookie came to us because Caity had a friend whose mother's two rescue Dachshunds had babies. When people saw Cookie they just KNEW she was a registered dog, one we MUST have paid an enormous amount of money for - - nope, quite the opposite. She was a full blooded Dachshund, and she was a rare and unique colored dog as well, but she was indeed a gift. A gift of love that will forever live on in our lives and our hearts.

There are good and great people in this world, and there are evil men and woman as well. The fact remains that good will always triumph, and it has, but to be fair to our existence we must understand that trusting the wrong person can lead to heartache and even in Cookie's case, death.

My daughter and I decided that yesterday's one-year anniversary of the murder of her little dog should not be a sad event. It should only be, and always be a day of celebration, one which opens up our hearts even further each year to allow more love and more joy to be brought and shared to the world through the eyes and barks of a little yellow dog - - a baby forever. We celebrated with songs and words, we called our friends and reminded them to think of Cookie and to try to share with at least one person the facts surrounding her death, so as to keep it close to us that being vigilant and being wise is important.

A little over a year ago Caity received Cookie. She meant everything to her. When Caity refused to date a certain man, and to follow him down a path of self destruction including but not limited to doing drugs, this man chose to hurt Caity very personally - - he kidnapped our little Cookie and he killed her. To make matters worse he tormented Caity for weeks about his actions and of course we followed through with any legal action we could to prevent him from coming near us and/or being able to hurt us further. Unfortunately, Cookie's life was taken - - but her soul remains constant. Her dear sweet face and actions caught in photographs and on video. She was laid to rest at my mother and father's house along side many loved and cherished pets.

This is not a sad blog - - indeed it is an informative one. If you do nothing else today remember please that you can make decisions about who you let into your home, into your life, and into your heart. Take the extra time it takes to be sure the ones you surround yourself with are good and that they have clean hearts. Cookie's life will forever be linked to an evil act, but her soul remains free to remind us to be forgiving; she awaits us as all other passing pets do - - in a Glorious Heaven!

Rest in Eternal love and peace sweet puppy.

WHOA!!! What a dream.
I woke up thinking I didn't need coffee today, and maybe I shouldn't have drunken it that late at night either. BAM! I was up and running in a physical competition. I was on the obstacle course, I was winning. I did actually win, and the contestant sponsors got it on tape. I was running and climbing a make-shift rope but then I just jumped to the top of it when I found good footing. I somehow propelled myself to the top. At first I thought I cheated because my hands and feet didn't touch each rung but they were jumping up and down and proclaiming me the winner, so there you go. I wanted to go home so naturally I jumped on my black horse and rode off! Naturally.

I love those dreams, and I love the ones where I'm doing upside down gymnastics - suspended hand-springs and such. I can always spot myself in those dreams as I'm the on going extra slow and showing off my talents to do a particular feat...that's how I know it's a dream and I catch myself and say "OH, you're dreaming...do it again." I have always had lucid and vivid dreams, dreams that are in color and more important to me; dreams that have a beginning, a middle and an end. Like a play or a movie. It helps me determine their final meaning when I can wake up write out everything that happened and pick it apart on www.dreammoods.com and other sites. (I have a deck of cards I use too that are helpful and pretty)

So, let's take a look at what Dreammoods said!

"Jumping
To dream that you are jumping, indicates that you need to take a risk and go for it. You will find progress toward your goals. Consider the metaphors "jumping for joy" or "jumping the gun". How you feel in the dream will provide additional significance and meaning to your dream.

Rope
To dream that you are climbing up a rope, represents your determination to succeed and overcome adversity. It may also denote your climb to the top.

Competition
To dream that you win a competition, suggests that you possess the necessary skills to accomplish a goal or solve a problem in your waking life.


Horse
To see a horse in your dream, symbolizes strength, power, endurance, virility and sexual prowess. It also represents a strong, physical energy. You need to tame the wild forces. The dream may imply that you have been horsing around. (Black Horse: To see a black or dark horse in your dream, signifies mystery, wildness, and the unknown)"

YEP...that's what's going on right now and WRITE now. I'm writing my new book, I'm working on the movie ideas for it too. I'm jumping into worlds of entertainment and business that I'm not familiar with, but I trust the men and women surrounding me who are! I really am having the best time and I think it's all a result and a manifestation of intentional thinking, intentional believing, intentional desire, and intentional planning. PEOPLE - - do what you want to do and do it with intention! Karma of course is everything - - pay it forward and pay it forward often. .... and .... DREAM it into reality.

Jury Duty - Texas Style!

I am not kidding - I registered to get my driver's license in the state of Texas on a Friday and by the next Thursday I had been summons to appear in Municipal Court in Gainesville, TX where I live, for jury duty.

Granted, when you're called to jury duty in Gainesville it's a lot like being called to the Principal's office to do a good deed for the school. I didn't feel put upon, I didn't feel that I was singled out or held responsible for anything. I wasn't being punished or blamed for anything - - jury duty is a civil duty, and it's something that can ONLY be done by free people in a free country. Having said that, I will be honest and add that I was glad it didn't start until 1:30 in the afternoon because I had a few things I had to take care of today. For starters it is my daughter's 20th birthday. I had to make a cake, and I was wanting to take her to lunch, but that was thwarted by a Brazilian TV station that decided to push my interview from Friday to Thursday and squeezing the producer into my schedule meant letting the kid wait - - I'll take her out tonight.

So, I went to court after the shoot for the TV show and as soon as I showed up I was the talk of the room. Gainesville is a small place, and word that my name was drawn made it through the ranks of women who know these things - - hell, the ladies at the driver's license office probably called their friends at the courthouse and made it happen! Anyway, I teased the judge before we came to order and told him I was being talked about unfairly by ladies on the "other" side of the room. They were 10 feet away laughing. He made them fess up to what they were discussing and of course it was my dog Faith. After answering a few questions for the court and the would be jurors we were given our instructions, sworn in, and then questioned by the prosecuting attorney for the purpose(s) of eliminating as many of us as possible. They had called 38 and only needed a maximum of 12 people to talk to. Six people (the first six not eliminated) would sit the jury, and I was number 36. I felt pretty confident that I would walk out in a few minutes time.

Questions were asked and we all tried our best to answer them honestly. This was a municipal court where Class-E misdemeanors with fine-only charges would be heard. The one I would have heard if I hadn't been eliminated - - oops, just spoiled it huh - - was a guy with a commercial driver's license ran a stop sign and was now facing a $200 fine, but of course he wanted evidence. He must have felt pretty good about his case, he didn't have an attorney present - - deciding to represent himself. (Doesn't he watch Court Tv?) LOL

Juror #36 was called, that's me, and questioned as to why I wasn't registered to vote in the state of Texas. I approached the bench as I'm suppose to, and I testified that I was from the (and I said it out loud) "GREAT State of Oklahoma", but that I was required by Texas law to have a driver's license in the state of Texas if I was living here for more than 30 days. I was asked how long I would be residing in Texas. I answered that I would be here long enough to do the movie about my dog, the editing, and possibly through the event of the premiere, and if that took place on time I would be in Gainesville until about June 2010. The judge, a very kind, (good looking man) around the age of 40 asked me another question. He leaned back in his wooden rocking chair - - did you read that - - his wooden rocking chair, and he asked "You don't hold any grudges against the state of Texas do you? Something that may have occurred say, last fall?" He was referring to the OU/TEXAS football game where Texas referees STOLE the game from us Sooners and gave a BUTT-Down to the Texans calling it a TOUCH DOWN. No hard feelings here right? I looked the judge in the eyes and said as sweetly as I could "No Your Honor, the fact that Sam Bradford won the Heisman last fall was completely warranted." (Sam is from OU in case you're not from around these parts, and Texas had their man McCoy in the runnings for it.)

I was dismissed...with a laugh from the judge and the others in the court room. I'm sure I'll get the summons again - - real soon.

Boomer Sooner!

Buying the Bike

I do NOT have to grow up! There is no sense to that.

Just because I'm 47 years old doesn't mean I have to act old, be old, look old, or stop playing. I'm into being me not into being a number. My idea of getting around has changed back to the way I got around when I was 10. I'm going to walk and ride my bike. I don't have a bike right now, so I'll be getting one this weekend. I wish I could find a Banana Seat bike like I had in 1970. That would be great. I named her Nancy and she was teal - - she had a pretty flowered seat, streamers of course, and I put that playing card in the spokes like I was suppose to. My mother caught heck for that because it meant she let us kids actually play with cards! Wow...to think now that I could have really played my life away and become a Texas Hold 'Em star! That would have shown those Baptists a thing or two! HA!

I have a couple of Big Sisters and one of them, Andie, had the really cool old-fashioned (at the time it was new) bike. She looked like she was stylin' on that big thing. I was jealous...but couldn't imagine life without Nancy. Since I'm old enough to work and pay for my own bike now, I'm thinking the middle road will do. I'm going to the bike store Friday and just picking out a middle of the road job with a big fat seat for my big fat seat! Should be fun. I've been riding a recumbent bike for years, a stationary thing. It's time I actually got up and went somewhere - - I may be totally into it and buy a basket so I can carry my fruits and vegetables back from the corner produce market. That's the way to embarrass the hell out of the kids! YES! I'm doing it. A horn would be an extra bonus.

While I was at the store today picking out the bike I wanted, I saw a kid across the way playing in her yard, blowing bubbles and giggling out loud trying to catch the big ones. I loved her smile! I drove straight to Target and bought a big red bubble wand - $1.00. Good to see some things never really go up in price. Fun is one of them. I've been entertaining my boss and the director all afternoon. They just shake their heads and smile - - and that makes me happy.

Why grow up? Old people do that! NOT ME!

Doga and the 10-Foot Giant Yam Outside My House

I couldn't resist this blog - - it was bound to happen. I've been an on-again off-again vegetarian for the past year now, and I have to tell you that being one is far more satisfying than eating meat - - it is for me. I found that when I ate meat for the duration of the HCG diet I put myself on I was slower, didn't have as much energy and felt my waistline filling back out again - - when the whole purpose of the diet was to LOSE that section of my body! Hence the embracing of the yam. I will admit I do love the vegetables I consume and I often think of myself as being like the Nigerian legend "Adamo" who refused to stop eating everything in site. He was banned from some villages for it, and the people hid their yams from him - some say they were actually worshipping the yam. I won't go that far.

This morning when I woke up I found my four dogs laying every which way across the bed and realized that the reason my back and joints feel so tight and restricted has to be that I'm catering to the dogs at night. I'm literally rolling myself up (while I'm unconscious and sleeping) into a ball and believe it or not the dogs still think I'm taking up too much room - - the truth is that KING is gaining too much mass. He's about 32 pounds now, and if I can't convince him and Rupert to sleep with Caity like they're suppose to I may end up inventing a bigger bed - I know it would sell.

I wake up, stretch, do the movements that indicate that I MAY actually want to adjust myself,(God forbid) and this would mean disturbing the dogs. Ordinarily we don't make that mistake in our house; once the dogs are comfortable, we suffer. However, after a good night's rest, and/or a few hours time, it is OK to nudge and push a little on the K9 units in order to relieve my own body of any possible permanent damage - - but what about their needs? Oh please,don't even get me started. We do DOGA in my house rather than yoga simply because they (the dogs) refuse to leave my mat once I pull it out. In the morning, when we're doing bed-yoga-doga it's the same, only this time I simply must insist on King's big head getting out of my face while I do sit ups and curl-crunches. He thinks it's funny to add his weight to my belly to see if I'm awake or strong enough to make him go up and down - - what am I, a carnival ride? I don't think so. Maybe Rupert, that's a constant 14 pounds, but I'm not entertaining the St. Bernard/Dane with this possibility - - he's 32 pounds now, but that's going to change soon. The women in the picture are actually taking their small dogs to the gym and using them as weights while they do their yoga - - this has become a tried and true method at my house as well, but only one of my dogs fits the weight criteria...Rupert.

When I do eventually get the dogs off of me and am able to pull out the mat and do a few actual asana poses I am again faced with faces...four of them staring at me. We do the pee-thing outside - well, I don't, I do that inside, but when we return it's all four faces staring up at me, or eye-ball to eye-ball if one is laying on the bed and I'm sitting on the mat. I bend over, kiss the dog in front of me, and pose. The hands that are suppose to be in front of me relaxing are now usually scratching ears, legs, bellies, and there's this tail thumping me in the back - - it's Faith, she's not into the under-the-bed thing anymore, and wants to get to work quickly. She's come out from the cave and is now behind me thumping me with her tail reminding me that the sun is up and the work day begins...now.

But what about that 10-foot giant YAM outside my house? I laugh at the image in my brain because of the bones that I have been giving to my dogs. See, dogs aren't suppose to eat chicken and/or turkey bones right, but they can eat beef and pork ribs. However, a bird can, and I've seen it, take it's K9 revenge out on the roadkill I've seen - - coyotes, wolves, I'll add raccoons in there for measure. What if, and I'm just saying, what if...a yam, the size of Rhode Island, was to come up to my house and smile at me? I'd pretty much know I was a goner - - the very fact that this thought hit me this morning meant ONE THING...I wasn't awake enough to lift the Dachshund up and put him on the belly, and I was probably suffering from St. Bernard respiratory weight failure...believe me, it is NOT easy to crunch up the middle of my body with a slobbering puppy waiting for the next wave!

Making Stuff

(Not my pictures)

About a year ago or so I was at home working - scheduling speaking engagements and getting things all geared up for the summer rush when suddenly out of nowhere everything financially and related to work just came to halt! BAM! I was unemployed. I had some in savings and my son helped out a bit - - but the time off gave me all the extra time I needed to hone a few crafts and skills that I had been wanting to explore deeper; I'm an artisan at heart.

I took several art-oriented classes in college both in my bachelors and my masters degree programs - - classes on everything artistic with the major exception of painting or actually drawing - - I can't do that. My motor skills are such that I do so much better throwing things, molding things, shaping and hitting things rather than being delicate, and if I am required to use patience - - forgetaboutit. I don't have that virtue. Nope, I do not paint...unless you count abstract in the most broad terms imaginable...then yes, I paint.

I was lucky enough to have a Michael's hobby store just down the road from me and it gave me the names of the ingredients as well as mold information so I could get online and order what I wanted. I'm rather Scottish when it comes to buying things at full price - - and I don't think that's a racist statement, I'm very very proud of my heritage; we have a reputation of being frugal that's all. I found many sites very helpful and I began buying things that would allow me to create, design, mold, throw, and otherwise spend hours out of my days making the biggest mess I could and yielding what I found to be a good product with JUST the amount of highly scented oils and it provided not only an outlet for my creative mind it also brought me that much closer to the realization that we don't need to shop for 1/2 the things we shop for. There was a time I even considered making dish washing soap, laundry soap, and stopping short of creating dog food - - I determined that I had a way of obsessing. (In 2007 I made 26 neck scarves for gifts...crochet. I'm not good at even two stitches, just one...but I did it over and over and over again)

I looked around my new house and realized I don't have a single bar of soap that I made in my house. I don't have even ONE candle here, and I don't have any pots! I have a few dishes I made, a cup I think, and I have a few pots that CAITY threw which are far superior to my work anyway. I found a box of ceramic tiles the kids painted 4 years ago that I haven't fired and I'm working on finding a kiln in the town of Gainesville - - I bet I have to drive to Denton for it, but I think it will be worth it this weekend to do that. I know the tiles will bring back a lot of memories for all of us. I think they were suppose to be coasters for my parents. I cant remember. If not they will be -- Mom, hope you're not reading this because I just spoiled your Christmas.

Thinking about it - - and I do; it makes sense to keep the creative mind going in times of recession and times of stress. I don't worry about anything anymore, and part of the reason is because I just happen to be a really happy and satisfied person. I'm not rich, but I find things that make me smile. I can dig my hands into clay and make something. It takes a while, nothing happens overnight. Like everything else there is a process...a cooling down, a heating up, and even a shelving period. I wonder if I could find a way to use this analogy in another aspect of my life....romance. I'll find a way.

I've been through the shelving period - 10 years. It's time to start the heating up I think....but even with that there must be a bit of prep work, a bit of play, a bit of messing things up, and shaping it. There must be a bit of consideration for the desired result, and like a good piece of art there must be a place for it to be displayed. Yep, it's time to pull out the old clay and shape it up, move it around, and get into it with everything I have...it's the only way to make it something special, something I could give as a gift.

What do you know - - I did find a way to use the analogy! I could be a writer! LOL

Disservice of Hollywood Agents - Glad I Live in Texas

Being born and raised on the RIGHT side of the Red River, the north side, made it virtually impossible for me to admit that I would ever be glad, happy in fact, to be living in the state of Texas...but I am.

I work as a movie producer in the tiny little bedroom-city of Gainesville, Texas. Gainesville is one of those "Anytown, USA" places that could have a million dollar look to it, or a half-dollar look - - depending on where you set up your cameras. It's the perfect place to film just about any movie - - except when the train rolls through town and you have to wait for the sound check. What Gainesville DOESN'T have, and I thank God, is a Hollywood feel where people have their people call others to set up meetings that may or may not take place. It doesn't have the Hollywood agent per se, someone who asks that a film be 100% funded before submitting a script to an actor - - it doesn't have the rules and the regulations or perhaps the glorified HABIT of a Hollywood agency that feels that they, the agency, has the right to screen and qualify what is and what is NOT a good film to show said actor. What we have is truly so much better: We have our word.

Remember when a hand-shake meant something? Well, it still does in Gainesville. Remember when you could buy something on credit, or just walk into a barbershop and get your hair cut and pay the barber on Friday when you got paid? You still can in Gainesville. What sets us apart in the movie industry is everything actually - - from our over-the-top or rather under-the-bottom office facilities to the way we dress, walk, talk, act, and pull together to make things happen. We don't actually have set-in-stone job descriptions. Our Executive Producer is just as likely or apt to change out the trash liner as any one of us. We don't fret over the small stuff, and hell it's all pretty much small stuff anyway - - none of us is too good to be whatever the director needs us to be...except acting. I won't get in front of the camera! I will hop 10' to hold a boom, and I'll run for beer or coffee, no problem.

We made it perfectly clear to Tim Curry's people that we wanted him to play the part of Dr. Crane in our movie. (www.themoviefaith.com) and we sent not only the script, but an informal offer to his agents at Innovative Artists in Los Angeles - - so tell me, if they KNEW they wanted the film to be 100% funded before submitting the script to Curry why didn't they say so? His agent called me and talked for more than 10 minutes about the film, the message, the hope, the direction we were going, the timing, the schedule and the finances. We talked about Faith and her miraculous story and how B-listed actors were calling us all the time to see if they can get into the film to play the part; we wanted Tim. We wanted Sandra Bullock too, and gave a script to her people - - and haven't heard a word. Tim's people did contact us, but said to "Let them know" when the film was funded 100%...why do you do that?

When a multi-million dollar film is funded they go after the stars and it's been that way for years because the banks and financial institutes go after the high-dollar films for that one reason; to make more money. They know if it's funded they'll get the A-listers and the attention of their agents. HELLOOOOO, when it's an independent film, such as ours, and it's a low SAG such as ours, you don't get the funding UNTIL you get the star power. It may be a catch-22 in some ways, but it's a burden we don't have to bear now do we? This movie will proceed because of the initial STAR POWER of an amazing dog, who just happens to be loved by the world at large and she's not whining about not having the film funded before she signs. She's up at the under-dressed office every day, she's kissing and loving on the kids that come by and say hi to her off the street - - try that with a Hollywood starlet! Try that with a Hollywood A-lister. They'd sue you for stalking them in a heart beat...claiming you RUINED their emotional state and they just CAN'T go on today because of it. No thank you - - give me the dog! It's high time some of these A-listers get off their butts and find out who it is that they've hired. Maybe a Tim Curry or a Sandra Bullock would JUMP at the chance to play opposite of Faith in a film that may not cost $15M to make, but it has the heart and soul of anything they've ever known.

Can you imagine being an A-lister and finding out a year after a film was made, and while it was receiving all kinds of accolades and awards that YOU could have been in the film actually, but YOUR AGENT didn't think it met your criteria...or, get this, it wasn't funded, therefore in essence, it wasn't good enough for you to see or review? Isn't it about time WE decide...we meaning those who write, produce, direct, and actually create the work in the first place. It is afterall OUR film.

Please don't think I'm upset with Tim or Sandra - - no, no, no, they don't even know they've been asked to be in the film. They probably won't know because we'll have someone sign up soon simply because the movie is too strong, too inspirational, and too rewarding NOT to be a part of it...I feel sorry for them actually. They could miss out on the role that sets them aside for being big-hearted animal-loving people with a personal belief for special causes not only relating to our military, but to injured and wounded soldiers who have returned without dreams of a good future for themselves. FAITH makes the difference in some of these REAL soldiers' lives. I've seen it at Walter Reed Army Medical, and at Veteran's Hospitals. I've been there. I've held their hands, I've listened to them tell their doctors MORE, much more than they would have told them - - simply because an amputee dog is sitting beside them in therapy!

I never thought I'd say it, but Texas ain't all that bad really - - not when you weigh your options. Sandra, Tim, e-mail me if you want the script! We aren't funded yet, maybe you can change that too to help your agent out a little. jude.stringfellow@gmail.com

Back to the Same Basics as Before

Well, I gave it my best shot - - I tried the HCG Diet and even though it was outdated and a bit hard to follow I did follow it for the first week or so and found too many flaws in it to continue. I modified it, since I wasn't losing the promised weight anyway, and found that I was still just as likely to NOT lose the weight with and/or without the HCG part of the diet. Eating only 500 calories a day isn't healthy, and it did exactly what I thought it would do - - made me feel hungry. I do have a tendency to overeat nuts if given the chance and this diet gave me every opportunity to do that. There's just no way to keep this diet going in a world where you're expected to dine out for business, or even eat with your family and not feel as if you're starving yourself. My sleep was interrupted by pains of hunger too, and that's not good. I'd usually just grab a bottle of water and wash away the hunger for an hour and go back to bed, but that only lasted a little while.

The fact that you can't, or you're not suppose to eat in the morning really didn't settle with me either. Breakfast is a very important meal - - it fuels you throughout the day. I found myself oversleeping so I would have less time between meals and I could fully consume the apple, Melba toast, and chicken breast (100 grams) with my 2 bottles of water....what I hated about the diet mostly is that I could pass by foods that I knew were good for me, foods rich in taste, but good for the body, and I would say to myself "Oh, that's not good for you, you can't do that anymore". That is NO way to live.

So, it's back to the beginning - - exercising 3-5 miles of walking every day, yoga at least 30 minutes a day, and stretching before and after I get into the bed. I wake up and do a little 5-6 minute stretch and another one before going to bed. It seems to help me get that dream state going and if I have neglected my daily walk or my yoga I can use a bit more time at that time to focus on making up 10-15 minutes of light aerobic walking in place or dancing...love to dance.

The 500 calories will be increased to about 1000 or so, and yes, I'll do all the water, the high fiber supplements, and keep the carbs to a record low. I do fruit, I do veggies, I do chicken breast in a can, and I do those nasty tomatoes that the HCG was so clear to banish. I even eat an olive or two - - with my chicken. I'm sure the low-fat low-dairy yogurt and fresh fruit is good, and I know the skim milk is too - - so I'm not all that upset with the way things turned out. I didn't know what to expect, hoped for more, didn't get it, but I can see where the sensible and tried ways of nature are always going to win out over fads and gadgets. Besides, the weather is letting me get those 3-5 miles in, and nothing stops me from gulping down copious amounts of water - - I just wish this body of mine would start paying attention to the attention I'm paying to it!

Dang, I know I'm stubborn, but for me to be stubborn with me...that's not fair.