"MESA" Underway.

 This evening I sat down and wrote out the first 15 chapters in an outline and that means I've written the ideas and skeleton for about 1/2 of the book.  It will likely be about 30-32 chapters and since I know I'll add more to the bones of this thing as I go along, I will say that yeah, it's 1/2 was planned. 

    Tomorrow, I'll do the same, and get the thing in shape to be able to say it's planned and ready to be written in genuine. I really haven't done this in the past. I wrote, then planned, chapter by chapter, and then wrote more, and planned more. This time I am putting the entire book in order and trying to make sense of it so that I can stay on track and maybe write faster than I would if I was trying to make it up as I went along.

    It just made sense to me to do it this way, so I did it this way. I'm cranking out the thoughts and putting them in some sort of order. Before I did that, I collected ideas from books, films, art, and internet searches. I wrote the notes in my handy-dandy "notes" file. I do that each time. I have a note file for each book, and I fill it with hundreds of bullet-point ideas that may make sense or they may not. I have quotes, thoughts, ideas, and even rough-edged maybes that could end up being a real idea. I'm all about getting the thought out of my head and onto the paper somehow, and that usually means through a note first.

    So far I'm happy about what I've written. I'm happy that I didn't just jump into the story. I lead up to it, and I flush out and flesh out the thoughts before they become conversations between the characters. There are a lot of things that these guys will experience, but they talk throughout the book as well and have conversations and communications with past characters from my other books. That's a string that passes through all of my books -- and will continue.

    I've got another 15-16 chapters to pen out in an outline tomorrow, then I'll start with Chapter One and write the first line. I have decided to dedicate the book to my daughter Laura, as this book has horses and the circus in it. She's into both. The next book, "Cask" will be decided by my daughter Caity, as it deals with more cunning and clever tricks and means of innuendo. The next book will be "Stollen" and as it is a family book or a book about family, it will be dedicated to my parents, my grandparents, my children, and my grandchildren. The book following "Stollen" is "Kingdom" and it will be dedicated to my son. It has a military blend and flavor, so that makes sense.

    I have a lot of writing to do, don't I? Well I think maybe I should get motivated and start the process!! Mesa is a wonderful book already, and I can already tell it will be fun to research and write. I'm already learning so much - - so very much; from all about moonshine to the way paint dries naturally on a canvas. Very interesting stuff, let me just say that. 

Laura and Kiss My Assets "Rocket"  2012.  Photo Credit: Me.

Mesa / Cask (The Planning Stages)

 I'm not exactly writing two books at the same time, but I am allowing one to bleed into the other. I shouldn't use the word "bleed" but it is a murder book series, right?  Nick Posh will find himself in the mesa...in the desert, chasing down the clowns and horses who (and that) lead him to other cases and casks. If you know anything about art you'll enjoy the "find" out in Vegas. It's an original Seurat painting; one no one even knew existed. The 31-year-old artist died in the late 1870s before either Nick or his friend Ralph Ferguson were born. Why the interest?

    Murder has a way of joining up with money. It usually follows that if you follow the money you'll find the killers. Well, in some cases art and the value of it can be just as sensually stimulating as cold hard cash -- and there is a certain "art" to printing your own cold hard cash. There's nothing funny about it; and yet, they they are, the two lawmen chasing down the forger and his printing press. 

    Those who dust off their feet in the desert can somehow find themselves sitting at the elite tables or visiting swank galleries where no one would know they had a day job..or in our muse's case, a night and weekend job. A cover-up on so many levels. One day you're dining and clinking fluted glasses with the upper crust, while the next you're entertaining them and their families right in plain sight, under their noses, and they know nothing of it. Such a circus!

    With "Mesa" coming before "Cask", it's not a giant leap to assume that one will carry over into the other, and then the next, which is "Stollen".  "Cask" will find our private eye seeking a clear and precise niche for himself; not only is he using his learned skills from his military days but also from the years he's spent working with and for others in order to break out completely on his own. He's not exactly hanging out a shingle, as he has no office to hang one outside of. The world is his board and the games he plays are usually for keeps.

    More art, more murder, more deception, and more sleuthing take place in "Cask" as our hero finds himself employed by his first private case; the finding and retrieving of a wayward bachelor son who has sprung the family coop too soon for the likings of his parents who hope to see their only son educated further in the craft he has long chosen. His absence from the family estate brings sorrow to his mother, and to his hopeful fiance. He must be returned at any cost.

    "Cask" will bring about the art form of the written word as well as the painted strokes of a genius talent; words color and stain any canvas as richly and as permanently as oils and pigmented hues. The two books will be written one right after the other. Right now I'm filling my notebooks with threads of commonality trying to pick what stories go into which book; who does what first, and how are they connected? 

    Stay tuned. It won't be long now. I'm getting the itch again, which means I'll likely make it happen sooner than I thought I would. I fool myself sometimes. 

Photo Credit: Pinterest (George Seurat's "Le Cirque" )

There are so Many Differences.

 I don't talk about my siblings much, I really don't. I was raised as the youngest child in a family with four children. I'm not saying I was the spoiled rotten baby, but yeah, I may have been the spoiled rotten baby. In hindsight, I can see that could have been a real possibility. It wasn't as if we had money growing up and I was spoiled in that sense; God knows we were dirt poor. But maybe I got away with more, or maybe I didn't get the evil eye as much as "they" did.

    I won't name my sisters but my brother's name is Michael. He won't mind me telling you a little about him. He's just such a strange and often over-the-top character; one that if I wrote him into one of my books folks would think I was stretching the boundaries, and that my creative license had just about reached its limits. He's not normal by any means, way, or form. He's out there. He's an open book -- even if you want him to close the cover! 

    Tonight I decided to call my only brother; he's one year and two months older than me.  He is one year and three months younger than our sister "L" and she is exactly one year and 25 days younger than our oldest sister "A".  You can see that Mom and Dad were quite busy, and we gave them as much love and trouble as you can possibly imagine. I called my brother to see how he was doing and he didn't need much goading to tell me exactly how he was; he could out-talk any woman I've ever met.

    When I say there are differences I'll start with the obvious ones. I went to college and earned a Ph.D. where my brother decided the 11th grade was just about all of the education he would ever need. He was a mechanic; worked with his hands and didn't need books or structure to get the money he needed to pay for his own place and to make a living. We are different in our politics but not to the extent that I could say he's a lunatic; he's just more fundamentally conservative than I am. He's not one to jump in his truck and join the party to protest, nothing like that, but he's stereotypical in some ways when you think of the rural-living sort of hillbilly who holes up in a lost cabin in the backwoods with his guns, his dogs, and extra canned goods. You know, the type to shoot out the "O" of a stop sign. I don't do that.

    We differ in our means of entertainment. He loves watching television; I can't stand it. He loves getting online and pretending to be someone he's not so he can get up and under the skin of someone who tries to scam men for money. He plays the game intensely and will keep it up for weeks before he pulls them out onto the virtual carpet to out the person for who and what they are. I am so not into drama of any kind. I just don't have time for it.

    He asked me how I would keep myself entertained if I didn't watch television. I told him I listen to my preacher once a day or almost every day, and I read books and I write books. I told him I create characters in my head and allow them to have full conversations so I can determine what they will do or say in the next book; this fascinated him. He wanted to know if that was normal...you know, to pretend you're talking to make-believe people in your head. Normal? Who knows. It's how I write. I create the characters and then let them go - - let them live.

    When I told him I wrote books he wanted to know if I ever thought about putting them in print. I paused...I literally stopped talking...I was that dumbfounded.  "Michael...I write books. I've written and published about thirteen so far. I mean, when I say I write books, I mean, there are books out there with my name on them. I'm the author. They are on Amazon, they are for sale."  He was quiet for a second, then said very solemnly..."Well, I mean, like a book book, one you can  hold?" I guess I know what I have to do now. I have to order a copy of each of my 13 books and send them to him - - except I don't know how he would feel about reading sex scenes written by his kid sister. That could be disturbing.

    We talked about his car, the one he had in high school. It was a 1970 Ford Torino.  I drove VW Beetle Bugs. He drove muscle cars. I went to Hollywood to write. He hung out in our town. I guess we just never thought about being close. None of my siblings are close to one another; it's sad really, but the truth.  We don't do "family" things; we stopped basically when my father passed. We just don't want to make the effort.  That's another thing that concerned me when I had kids, I raised them to be close. My three are still much much closer than I ever was with my own sisters or brother. That makes me smile.

    I guess I'm just saying it's OK to be odd, different, out of touch with family, or not interested in being a part of a family where you don't feel needed, wanted, loved, or united. I love my sisters and I love my brother, but we're not friends and if we weren't related I'd never even think of them. I say that, I will always think of my brother; he's crazy as a loon yes, but I do think of him and pray for him. He never asked for the trouble in his life, he was a "victim" of circumstance, never knowing when to walk away from toxic people who pulled at him constantly. I saw those types and either casually walked away, or ran like hell to put the distance between us.

    Funny, isn't it? We were both born to the same parents and lived in the same house for over two decades, but we just couldn't be more different in so many ways. At least, and I can say this about all of my mother's children, we all love Jesus, and we know how the story ends. (We didn't cheat and read the back of the Book - - it was purposely taught to us.) For that, I am very grateful. 

Reuben and Laura. Photo Credit: Me

Prayer Before I Work. (It Works)

I have to be honest and say that I really do love my new job. I wasn't sure at first, because I knew the pay was low and I would be expected to hit quotas and be on top of my game even through the training.  The good and bad news was that the training was literally only one week. I think we should have had more time; it would make much more sense to do that. We were given one week, and then "thrown in the mud to run in it" until such time we could learn to swim in the clear blue, I guess. 

    My job is not unusual, it's not really all that special. I am a recovery agent, and a subrogation specialist. I determine who is liable for damage and go after the damager for recovery of what it will take to indemnify our clients.  Sounds tough, and all that, but in reality, I'm literally just opening up a file, going through it, checking what I can, and making calls and sending emails to get to the person who pays the claims. Simple.

    The thing is, work is never simple. As employees we are expected to be "on" all the time. We are expected to pay close attention, and to not make mistakes or assumptions. It's not hard but it's certainly not perfect either. I need help and I know exactly where to get it. I pray.  I don't hold back from telling my employer(s) either (if they ask).  I pray about my day every day. I pray before I get started, and I thank God throughout the day when things work out and I can see His hand in the middle of whatever it is that's going on.

    I'll hear co-workers say how difficult their day was, or how they couldn't seem to get anyone on the phone to cooperate. I have an answer; in fact, I have THE answer. Pray about it. Pray that Jesus first blesses you with the wisdom to make those discerning decisions, and that He'll help you remain open, balanced, and fair about what it is that you're deciding. If someone is not responsible, I don't want to think or claim they are. If someone is responsible, I want to be compassionate, empathetic, and understanding. I do have to recover the funds, but I don't have to brow beat anyone.

    Most of the "damagers" I speak with claim they are not responsible, and they have lots of fingers to point in several directions. I listen, I even follow a lead now and again, but I'm not naive either; I can tell when someone is trying to get out of their duties to restore our clients' rightful claim. I stand firm, and I repeat my stand and my intention of recovering the money. I'm not a push over. But I'm not a tyrant either. 

    Prayer helps me be better so I can help someone else. Prayer reminds me that I am absolutely not in charge. I am not the end-all and what I say doesn't always go. I have a claim, it needs to be paid, and I find the damager. If the damager turns out to be someone other than the person I was told it was, and other than the person we've been pursuing, I am 100% open to discuss the matter. I also pray for wisdom, discernment, and and insight. He gives that to me.

    So, at work, I like to think of my little at home office as being an open door to Christ, so He can come in and sit next to me, and hold my hand while I write those emails. He listens to me when I make the calls to request that someone pay the claim. He watches me so I keep the right time, the right notes, the right details, and so I am giving my employer every minute of the hours of the day that I'm being paid for. Being an at-home employee, the temptation to take longer or extra breaks is there for most, but not for me. I time my breaks. I want to be as clear and honest as I can be so I know my prayers are answered.

    I know God doesn't "keep score" because if He did I would fall short every last time. I am so normal. I am so human. I am so typical. I hope to be a good example. I hope to be what He would be proud of. That's another reason I pray - - because I get a chance to both ask for forgiveness and to ask for blessings at the same time. To say "Jesus is my co-pilot" is so untrue - - He is the pilot, the Creator of the air, the Creator of the craft. He has graciously allowed me to sit with Him while He takes the wheel.

Photo Credit: Havenlight.com

 

MESA ...Plots and Planning.

 I've been working behind the scenes if you will. I know I haven't been motivated to write the book just yet, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about what I'm going to write. I am thinking about that.

    I sat down tonight to read another Perry Mason book and right in the middle of it I thought to myself, "Why not add a few of these lines to the book and twist them so I'm not actually plagiarising." I do that. I write and rewrite, but I won't take something that doesn't belong to me. In other words, since we know there's nothing new under the Sun, I can take an idea that Erle Stanley Gardner had and revamp it giving it a new look, and a new outcome. I just use other people's work as a springboard - - I don't swim in their pools of thought.

    I took out a new composition notebook and began taking notes about what I will have the characters say, and do, and how they will interact with one another. I decided to have Ferguson come down from Chicago to help Nick in the desert while he's chasing clowns and taming Mustangs. Ferguson's new passion for trading in the stock market will be helpful and even case-altering at one point.  Eoghan will understand the concepts in his own very unique way of thinking, and he'll come up with a means of mapping or tracing patterns in the various markets as they resemble music in his head. 

    There will be clowns, acrobats, crystal balls, fortune tellers, knife throwing, and even a sharpshooter act that places Nick in a rather precarious situation to be sure. There will be tigers, elephants, and bears...and yes, there will be murder. There is always a murder when Nick Posh is involved. His choice to leave Oklahoma City for this particular case will be the straw he'll need to break the proverbial camel's back when it comes to deciding whether or not to take a full-time desk job with the City of Oklahoma City. (What do you think he does?) :) 

    I've added every circus act you can think of and mixed them with a few side-show freak acts to make the thing that much more enjoyable. Laura traveled with a sideshow for a while and we got to know some of the motley crew who both performed for the side shows and some who brokered the show(s). It was fascinating from a logistics point of view.  I've always been fascinated by how things actually come together.

    Mesa is coming together - - I've written out a few notes tonight, and will do it again tomorrow. Maybe by the weekend, I'll feel like putting a chapter or five in the box. That could happen. I think this will be a good book -- fun and interesting.  I only wish I could be off work full time and make a real living as an author so I could just do that all day - - but alas, not at this time...maybe another day.

Photo Credit: Smithsonian Magazine

    

Author Issues (Some of Them are Not Fun)

 I'm really on the fence about how I feel about Ingram Spark as a publisher, but because they don't charge me to publish my books it's hard to argue all the little details. However, some of those little details are not all that small.

    The book "Bay Sorrel Ranch" has 358 pages and I set up the cover with that in mind. They, Ingram, ran the book and basically cut off the words I had written on the back cover. Of course, when they sent it to me for approval, it didn't look that way. It was only after I approved it, ordered it, and received it, that I noticed.  I complained, but they kept writing back to me saying it was approved. HELLO...it was approved, but the image I received in the approval did not match the actual cover!

    Because Ingram Spark doesn't charge, they also don't give good customer service; not really.  They email, and they send vague answers. You have to write to them several times to get someone who will actually work with you. I've found a way to somewhat "assert" myself, but I always feel like a bully when I do it. They really should just do their job and then we authors wouldn't have to strong-arm anyone. 

    I have to say things like, "You know, I've published 13 books with you now, Do you think you want to work with me on this issue or should I escalate this to your supervisor?" When I say that, someone usually comes through for me. The sad thing is, I have to say that. I shouldn't have to. They should DO THEIR JOB!!

    One of the issues I've had over and over again with Ingram Spark is that they accept my manuscript interior or exterior file and then they reject it saying there is corruption, but they don't tell me, and they won't tell me, what that corruption is. Thankfully, a man at Adobe told me that 100% of the time he has seen that, it is usually a font that hasn't been "embedded" or "flattened".  He explained that to me as well, and how I need to literally check a box before I save the file. Geez.

    Anyway, after I've done that, and send it back to Ingram Spark to publish, I've had them reject it again as if there was still corruption. What I do at that point is send the same damn file back to them but I change the name and date, and Viola! They accept it. That proves to me that there was NEVER corruption in the first place. It was just some worker over there in the Philippines who didn't want to go through the motions to do his or her job. Maybe it was too close to the time they went home; I don't know. But they LIED and they constantly lie, and I'm just about done with them.

    With "Bay Sorrel Ranch", they cut off my cover and I had to redo it.  Since they accepted it and told me it was the right size, I argued with them saying I would not pay the revision fee. They sent me a code to use so I didn't have to pay for it. That made me happy.  I sent the revision up today and hopefully in a couple of days it will be fine and I'll be able to put it back on the market.  It's not as if hundreds or thousands of copies were being sold, but the fact is if only ONE was sold to someone who paid $18 for a good book and that person had the same experience I did, they would think it was ME that cheated them. 

    Believe me, no one blames the publisher for something like that. They put the blame on the author! Why? I have no idea, but they will say my books were miscut, I didn't have the withal to find a better publisher, or whatever. It was literally a few pages too fat for the cover, but they didn't tell me that. The book cover generator I used said it was OK. I hope this one is. I don't like doing things over three or four times.

    I think in the future I'll make the book cover a good 10 pages bigger than the actual book and see if that works. I'd hate for it to be too big and be rejected...this is an art form, people. It really is. You have to have a subscription to something like CANVA and then use a generated book cover template from KDP or someone, and you have to superimpose it onto your Canva project and work through the prompts. 

    I am super excited that Canva, Adobe, and KDP as well as Ingram Spark exist. I can literally write my books, edit my books, create the interior formatting, and design the cover for next to nothing. I can upload them for free, and they pay me the same as Amazon or any other platform would pay me for a copy of a book. An author gets about $1.40 per $18.00 book. It's not glamorous. I'm excited about putting the books on EPUB or E-book platforms because I can charge $3.99 for the book and earn $2.80. That's the ticket.  That begins in June. Woot!

Meet Norman Macleod. (1975 Aria acoustic guitar made in Japan)

 Aria is the name of the main female character in the first novel I wrote.  Her name is Aria Campbell, and yes, she was named for the guitars that I prefer. I love Fender, Gibson, Aria, and then Yamaha. I wish I could say that I've been able to play them, but I can't. I don't know how, but I do play at it - - and sooner or later I'll get the hang of it. Eternity is a very long time, so I figure I can make something happen there if I can't make it happen here.

    There will be guitars in Heaven. We know this. I don't have to worry about it; hopefully, I'll be in a beginner's class as soon as I land on solid ground.  That's one of my hopes anyway. Edgar Cruz was supposed to teach me how to play in 1982, but he sort of dropped that ball -- something about being in love or something, I don't know. All I know is I still can't pick up a guitar and just play it. I pick them up and talk to them, play with them, and just pretend I'm doing what I should be doing.

    That being said, I have owned a few really cool guitars in my life. I had a really nice vintage Spanish guitar once, I named her Stella. She was stolen, and I have been very sad about that for over twenty years now.  I own a Yamaha; one I bought from a drummer who thought he'd learn to play guitar, and it never happened. "Wally", my Yamaha, is about 10 years old, and he hangs on my wall and reminds me that I need to do more than just think about learning, so I pull him off the wall and play about 3 times a week.

    Now, and only just today, I own an Aria!! I was too excited when I found it online through Facebook Marketplace. The ad said they wanted $75 but that the price was negotiable. Seriously? I wrote to them and said I was on my way. I asked if they wanted cash or Venmo. They said cash, and I said I'd be there within the hour. It was a 30-mile trek, but yes...worth it. They actually told me that they'd take $60 so I was even more excited.

    Driving down to Norman (which is why I call him "Norman") to pick him up, I decided to stop by OnQue and pick up a lottery ticket too; so if I win tonight you'll hear about that too I'm sure. (Or maybe you won't, I probably shouldn't tell anyone since it's $935M although, come on, the payout is ONLY $452M..LOL).  I pulled out the money from the ATM and I drove to the apartment where he was; maybe 10 minutes away from the pit stop.

    I talked to the owner, she was the girlfriend of the man who pulled Norman out of the trash bin where an apartment renter had put him. He may have been on the outside rather than the inside, as he's not damaged. He had a scuff on his face, but that was there a while back. The lady said her boyfriend is the maintenance guy at the complex, and people throw out good things all the time. He'll collect them, clean them, and sell them if he can.  He had no idea what the guitar was worth.

    The serial number on my guitar is in the 5000s. I'm not saying exactly what the number is, I don't need someone claiming it was stolen so they can sell it themselves.  Nope, Norman is mine!  I am not going to sell him, even though his serial number places him as being made in the year 1975. Even though he is in perfect shape, and has only one tiny injury, he will remain with me.

    There is another person online with an Aria made in 1978 and they're asking $500 for it. Wow. I feel pretty good about my little investment. The scuff on his face tells me he's been around. He's been in a situation or two. Maybe he was played in bars and was used to defend his owner at some point? Who knows. He's an amazing instrument, and I'm about to have him professionally cleaned, restrung, and tuned. He'll come home and be played at least 3x a week.

    What I did notice is that though he is the same size as Wally, he's lighter. It's much easier to hold him, and I think his neck may be thinner, as my fingers seem to fit better. I may actually be able to learn on Norman!! This will make me a very happy girl indeed.

    Oh...so yeah, his name is Norman Macleod, and before you ask, I'll go ahead and admit it. His last name is Macleod because my favorite guitarist (sorry Edgar) is Steph Macleod, and he plays an Aria too. I do that, I name things after people and places and things I admire. Wally is Sir Wally Stirling. He was named for William Wallace and the city of Stirling.  I do that.

Photo Credit: Me.

MESA (On HOLD) Not Happening Right Now.

 I sort of knew this would happen. The only reason I could write all six novels in 2023 was that I wasn't working full-time. I am now working, so I can't get the energy, the creativity, or the time to sit down and write the books like I want to. It's just going to have to take a backseat. 

    What I am doing, and what I can do, is research the stuffings out of the book, so that when I do sit down to write it, I will have notes out the wahzoo about it and I can get it written rather quickly. I'm just not motivated after working all day, to sit down and write. I'm still working on myself right now, and trying to get a few things underway.

    I've been really ill the past few weeks with what was probably another bout of Covid, but I didn't want to give that any credence. I'm absolutely sure it was a bad allergy-induced cold, but with the lung thing attached, I have to say it was or is probably Covid and I'm not the least bit happy about it. I managed to get over the cold part, the sick part, in just about a week's time, but the coughing and stuff is still lingering. 

    On top of all that, I decided to over-extend myself, and take Ivermectin to assist with the lung thing, and it did work. I can certainly feel them clearing up but in the process the dang stuff set off a chain-reaction of killing off parasites in my body, which is what Ivermectin does in the first place. This drug is good, let me just say that. I am now, three days in, and have had some side effects that I would not wish on anyone.

    The Ivermectin takes hold of you on the third day like an all-inclusive progress. I know the parasites are leaving me because they're fighting tooth and nail to cling to life. My head hurt right on the top, but not really very painful, it's just that I couldn't stand up. I couldn't really open my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it for literally 15 hours. I was down! The good news is, after it was over and I slept all day and then all night after that, I woke up with 50% of myself and I was able to work. 

    I did have a good release and/or movement, and yes, I did look, and yes, there were quite a few parasites which have been "flushed" from me and down the toilet. I do feel better. I thought it was going to be easier I think, but it was not. I'm told that about 20% of the people who take it have these symptoms. It may or may not happen so don't think I'm telling you that it will happen to you if you take it.  MANY people take the paste/gel and are fine. Many others take the pill form and they are fine. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR before you attempt it.

    Anyway, that all being said, my body and my mind are just not in sync right now, so I'll read and I'll study, and I'll think. This gives me the freedom to come up with really good lines for my characters to use. I may even have one or the other of them take a dose of Ivermectin to cure them of something - - it may happen. I like to add my personal experiences in my novels. It helps me to deal with my life in an entirely differently way. Sharing is caring!!

    I hope you have a GREAT Resurrection weekend. This is the weekend I feel closest to Jesus because He did lay down His own life for mine - - if I were the only one to do it for, He would still have done it. That fact makes me so very grateful. I was laying in my bed with the worst head-spinning and I closed my eyes and remembered that it was on Thursday that they crucified my Lord. It was Thursday when I was an invalid myself. I can see the bright and beautiful promise of Sunday!

    I will get "Mesa" written. It will happen, just not today.

Photo Credit:  istock.com

I DId a Thing. (I took Ivermectin paste by mouth)

 For years we had horses and every 3 or 4 months or so we'd have to give them a really good dose of worming meds to get all the parasites they were storing in their intestines. Animals, like people, walk around all day and all night all year long with parasites. I know, that when I was about to give birth to my son, I was given an enema and let me say this - - I learned a great deal about what we humans have inside of us at any given time.

    So, when the world was fighting Covid and those of us who had horses were hearing about other people who had horses who were taking Ivermectin paste or gel right out of the tube, I have to be honest, I wasn't 100% sold that doing so would be the best solution. Part of me was thinking it was safe for animals, but not necessarily for humans, but no one I knew who had taken it had died. No one I knew who had taken it had been sick either!

    Well, I just got over what could have been another bout with Covid. It was like a cold in many ways, but had that nagging stupid lung thing to go with it. I was out for three months in 2020 with the lung thing. The cold part of it was over and done with the first week, but there I was hacking and barely able to breathe all through Winter.  This time, this year, actually just about an hour ago, I took a small dose of Ivermectin (the paste or gel type that you see in Tractor Supply).  I bought my tube online and it cost $7.49 I think.

    I took right at 1.5 cc as I weigh over 150 and not 200.  I called my veterinarian to be sure I was doing it correctly. I have to laugh when I say that; both my vets are fantastic. The father is my small animal vet, and his son is my large animal vet. Both were in the office and both conferred that an "animal" (as opposed to plant or mineral) could take 100cc of the stuff per 100 pounds of their body weight and be safe.  Good. I was right.

    The thing I was not right about was taking it with food. I don't even know why I didn't ask. I should have. After I took it with my dinner I decided to look it up, and yeah, I was supposed to take it on an empty stomach! OOPS!  It's been an hour and I'm still breathing, so we'll go with that.

    What am I hoping for? Oh, I have so many expectations!! I want to have every worm, parasite, virus, and thingamabob living inside my body to make its exit. I want to be 28-40 pounds lighter tomorrow but I don't think that's going to happen. I want to get rid of this cough and hack thing. I want to feel good, feel clean, feel energized, and be healthy. It has been 16 days and I'm still waking up with a bit of a head thing. I hate it. I mean, I'm much better than I was, but not good yet.

    Google and all the others want you to think that taking alternative meds are really bad for you. They not only discourage doctors and vets from sharing their information with you, they protest, sue, discredit and take licenses away in some cases. It's amazing how this one thing could have and probably does either cure or curb the effects of the nasty virus, but they don't want you to know about it because it doesn't fit their narrative. It doesn't make them money. It gives us control and they can't have that.

    Well, I did that. I took it. I have to wait to see if I feel like eating a bucket of oats and maybe some grass a little later on, but I think if that's the worst side effect I should be OK. I will tell you that for over 40 years I've loved McDonald's unsweetened tea because it does actually taste like hay...yes, it really really does, and I love it; with our without Ivermectin in my system. 

    I'll let you know if I die. (Well, Laura will let you know if I die)  According to the research I've done both online and asking my vet, about 78% of the parasites in me should be gone in 24 hours, and over 98% of them should be gone after 2 weeks.  You don't take more than one dose every 3 months. It's not something you over take or use often. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR before you do this!!

UPDATE: 24 hours later.  So nothing really to report. No side effects whatsoever, and though I've had two good poops I don't know if they were accompanied by or if they included the creepy crawlies that I don't want in my body. We'll see.

UPDATE: 48 hours later.  OK, so this morning I woke up with a migraine headache in the top center of my head. I don't know if it is related or not. We've had blistering winds and even a bout of snow on March 27, which caused a lot of pollen issues. It could have been from that. I was also a little constipated which hasn't really happened in years.  I've slept most of the day and feel better now, but I wanted to mention it JUST INCASE it was related. I can't say yes, and I can't say no.  Then again, I have been taking Ginko Biloba (recently) and just read that it can give you headaches if you take too much. So, there you go!

Pretending!! (I'm Thinking of my new Apartment)

 Unless and until my books take off, I'll not be moving to Scotland anytime soon. I mean, I may go again to visit, but I won't be able to move there on a permanent basis until such time that I can afford the visas, the travel, the space, the rents, the deposits, and all the rest. It is a sad thing, but not something I can't live without. I do know that if I moved to Scotland I would literally be giving up so much more space and more money than I need to. Some of these types of facts make me happy to know I'll be OK here in Oklahoma. (sigh)

    Scotland has 135 days of sunshine each year, while Oklahoma has 235 days. That's literally 3 months more of sunshine.  We have air conditioning, but the sad thing is, we need it. It's so much better in Scotland when it comes to heat. They hover between 30-75 degrees all year.  In Oklahoma, we get that in a day....often.  We hit -5 this winter and 113 last summer. I'm not a fan. 

    Anyway, so what I do, and what I often do, is fantasy and pretend I already have the new apartment. I go to Home Depot and Lowes to find things like paint, fixtures, carpets, and all that. I also go to @Home, Living Spaces, Big Lots, and other stores to find furniture, throws, pillows, candles, and any art I think I need. It's fun. I thoroughly enjoy every single minute of the prep time.

    My new apartment will most likely be a one bedroom one bathroom unit here where my daughter and I live now. We have a two bed with 1.5 baths now, and we pay $680.00 a month. That seems to send some folks into the sky when I tell them that, but it's true.  The new apartment is 750 sf, vs. the 1100 sf two bedroom.  It will rent for $640 since the complex has actually made some improvements and is raising the rent on us this year.

    I've lived here about eight years this time around. I've lived in this complex about five times in my life. It was the first place for my kids to have their own place to live; that's always cool. Actually, I say that, it's the first place for my daughters. My son did have his own place when I kicked him out at 16 3/4 and let him live directly across the street from his high school. I paid the rent, but he had to pay the utilities. He worked. It was good.

    The new place will have a large living where I'll put both the living room furniture and my office set up.  The room is about 20' x 16' or so.  There is a dining room, but I may not use it as such since it's just me. I may just use it for my boxing bag so I can have a good place to box, we'll have to see what happens.

    The kitchen is virtually the same size, and I'm hoping when I do move that the complex will go all out and give me new appliances and a new countertop. I will have to insist on it if they try to get away with it - - I've lived for 8 years with really old countertops and I'm not doing that again.  The carpet will be new, and if they don't do it, I'll rip it out myself and they can get over it. Again, I've put up with their nonsense too long.

    I'll have three full closets in the new unit, and will only need one for my clothes. The others will be for coats and storage. I have two 4-tier storage shelves that I'll put into one closet to store all that I need to in a very organized manner. My place (unlike my place now) will be so very very clean and so very very organized. My old place was too -- that's when I lived alone. That's when I had NO KIDS living with me. Did I say that out loud? I think I did.

    Instead of several bottles in the bathroom there will be only a few. It never ceases to amaze me  how two people can't choose to use the same shampoos, conditioners, body lotions, and all the rest. We don't need to make the place look crazy! I want it to be neat, tidy, arranged and pristine. It doesn't have to be perfect, but yeah, the baseboards should be free of cat hair. Can we at least agree on that?

    Though I have to take my own trash out, it will be taken out on time. My dishwasher will work, but then again, I've lived so long without one I'll likely do my own dishes since it will just be me. I won't have all the food and/or things out on the counter either. I will have them IN THE PANTRY...you know, WHERE THEY BELONG!!  There I go again, shouting. I'll try to keep it down.

    When I walk into my new place I will not be greeted by a big dog trying to knock me over. My dog is small, and she knows not to get under my feet. I will only have ONE CAT to clean up after, and yes, I do a really good job cleaning him out every day, not every third day.  There will be less clothes and shoes strung around. There will be quiet, peacefulness, tranquility, rather than a loud mouthed gamer who can't seem to realize she doesn't live alone. I love her, I do...but yeah, time to get out!!

    I've tried to make my escape about 11 times in the past 8 years, but this time I've put my foot down. If she loses her job or otherwise can't make it on her own, I'm simply going to throw money at her and shut my door! She is not moving back in with me. I'll move back in with her when I'm too old to move about by myself; then maybe I'll be too senile to know I'm in the monkey-cages at the zoo!!  I'd love to mask some of these a animal smells with candles but she gets pissy - - she can take musk from a dog, but not sandalwood!  GEEZ!

    No, it's so past time. It is so so very very past time. We have needed to be separated for years but timing was bad, then the pandemic, then more sickness, then we both lost our jobs, and it just went on and on for too long. It's TIME!!  Finally, it is time. We are hoping that in June (This is March) we can do that. That's the plan...and even though I'll be in the same complex so I can take her places (she doesn't have a car), I will not see much of her other than when we walk our dogs and cross paths at the laundry room.

    I walk, she walks, so we'll see each other then. If I do live across from her she won't see me because she'll pull all the curtains closed. I want them all open. She's a vampire! She lives in the dark and on the computer. She has finally learned to cook a few things so she's not going to be darkening my door too often to eat with me, but I bet she still does. I think she'll take it to go if I'm honest. She'll think it's good to save a buck or two and just rid me of my leftovers. 

    My new place will have really pretty paint. I may take off the 2" baseboard and replace it with 4" adhesive type baseboard. I'll line the door jambs as well and the top of the doors. I will have a "classic" look and buy only those things I really want to buy so that my place is both comfortable and cozy. I want it to shine and be a place I am proud of. I think it will be. I just have to get to the point where I can afford to move out, get what I need, and start fresh - - what do you want to bet she pulls the carpet out of this unit and turns the place into a cave with black out curtains? I'll give her 2 days before she does just exactly that.

    She'll have my room to put her computer in, and she'll have all the space she'll ever need. I hope she finds a place for all the clutter she has now. I know my mother would have pounded me if I lived this way in her house. I should be more assertive about it, but she's really really a good roommate. I love her, and she knows it. We are just two different people.

    I made a list of things I won't miss about this place. I do that too.  Here it is, but it's not complete.

• The door that is too thin and makes noise when you open it.
• The dishwasher not working.
• Bad carpet, bad tile, bad counters, bad appliances.
• The stairs!! I will be in a downstairs unit.
• Air ducts not working properly because I will call every day until they are working correctly. We don't here because her job won't allow interior noise and they have to come into the unit to fix it.
• cat hair everywhere.  (This is funny because he's my cat, but I keep him groomed most of the time, but he sheds and she's supposed to clean it up but she doesn't. I end up doing it.)
• Clothes and shoes thrown everywhere.
• Puppy pads. (Yes, her one-year old dog still goes on pads)
• Terrible furniture. We don't have good furniture because her dog and her cat destroy it. My cat is declawed. (don't judge me)
• Loud and obnoxious gaming from the other room!
• I won't need to wait to take a shower and that room will be spotlessly clean at all times.
• I will have a patio to use and actually USE!! This one has a balcony and we never go out on it; we could, but we just don't. I will use mine.
• Food will be put away. The fridge will be organized. I will not run out of something without KNOWING IT. (smile)
• Lastly, I won't miss the parking spot because I'll use the other one we have which will be closer to my unit if I'm on this side and if I'm on the other side of the complex I'll have a new parking space. The one we use now is next to the dumpster and the big truck has almost hit my car 100x!!

    Well, that's it. My new place will be pristine, pretty, and uniquely me. I'll paint the walls in muted greys with plum, azure, and green tones. The towels and dish clothes will all be new, the toaster will be new. I'm even leaving her the electric kettle and will get my own! It will be a glass one so I can see the water boiling. I may get one with LED lights! I'm just that cool.

Here's praying it can all happen...soon.

Photo Credit: Wayfair.com