DO NOT use Xlibris to Publish Your Book.

 The 2nd or maybe the 3rd book I published back in 2006, was a poetry book titled "Periwinkle".  It is a lovely book, and though I do have ONE regret regarding the title and/or the poem associated with the title, I know that at the time I wrote it I was well within my rights and emotions to do so. I had no idea at that time, that the person I wrote the poem about would turn out to be the person that he is; not someone I would likely honor with another poem.  Though the poem itself is a good work, I am not happy with the subject of it; still, it doesn't change the fact that the book is a good book. It needs to be read, it needs to be shared.

    I knew little to nothing about publishing at the time I wrote the book and had it submitted to Xlibris for publishing. I will not use Xlibris again. I think the last time I used them was in 2006, and then in 2023, so 17 years went by and they had not changed. I had hoped they would, but they are worse now if you can imagine that. I just have to say it; there are so many more options for writers now.  Choose wisely, and by that I mean do your homework and find a company that both produces and services you in North American or European English. Otherwise, there could be miscommunications and language barriers which could cause you to miss something pretty important. I know I did!! I was flat embarrassed by my first book, and then again in my 2nd book. The poetry book does have one mistake I think, but it's not so noticeable. I notice it of course, but no one else has ever mentioned it.

    Now, one of the reasons no one else has ever mentioned it may very well be because it has not been mass-produced and it was not priced correctly. NO ONE should have to be subjected to paying $40+ for a book that is only 124  pages, and that is a book of poems!! What in the hell were they thinking when they set that price? I had NO WAY of knowing that I could have canceled the project altogether and resubmitted it with another ISBN. That is exactly what I have done. I have also written to Xlibris and asked them to discontinue the one on Amazon at this time with their ISBN number. Great Scott!! They did me such a disservice and I had no idea I had any real control over it. I often wondered but I guess I never took the time to find out. I finally did that.

    I have canceled every single book I have ever written and published with Xlibris and I hope they never darken my email again.  I have said it before, the ONLY people at the place with any withal are Kaye Parsons, and Elaine the illustrator, and now I need to add Michelle Parsons (a manager).  I hope they all move to another publishing company. Xlibris does not deserve them in my opinion.  When I canceled the books I was given a couple of weeks to download my files, which I did. I put them safely into documents, downloads, onto a flash drive, and on my desktop. I wanted to be sure I have them all. I have four books with them, four covers for soft versions, three covers for hardcovers versions, and a 2nd edition for one of the books which were so messed up I had to scrap the first edition and get another ISBN to re-do it, and they STILL messed it up. The size was wrong, the font was off, the color, the material, you name it, they did not get it correct!

    Unless and until you go through the whole experience you may not realize the control you actually have with your own book. You do have much more control than you may think. What I really hated about Xlibris was the way they limited me as an artist giving me two choices for covers or saying I couldn't use this or that image after sending me the link to those images. It was downright disastrous, and I want everyone to know so they can move forward and have a better experience than I had. I will say this; even with the knowledge I have now, I found myself fighting with the project manager and first illustrator over and over again to get what I had paid for. I was lied to, I was harassed, I was ignored, and finally, I just had to compromise to get my book finished. It was just nuts. If you want my opinion, they are a subpar company. I will never use them again.

    They do have a handshake with Amazon, but they take their cut and that leaves you with less than you deserve.  Even going through IngramSpark directly you're still allowing for another middleman, but at least you cut out the publisher. If you can get a KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) account going, and pay the $600 to upload your eBooks, that is the way to go.  You can then decide if you want to use them for the soft print or paperback as well, but there are benefits of using IngramSpark for that. They do distribute to more places globally and you don't have to deal with those agencies yourself. Best of both worlds: eBook with KDP (Amazon) and softcovers with IngramSparks. My choice. Your choice may vary. It's just crazy to think they charged what they charge. NO WONDER I never sold copies. I'm hoping to do so now. I won't make $$$ on the poetry book, but they will be out there and that's more important to me.

    At $8.99 a book I'll earn about $1.60 for each book because printing is a real thing. I won't put the poetry book in eBook format, it won't look right on the pages.  Again, I'm not expecting to make bank on the poetry, but I do want people to read it. It's really very good. My son wrote 5 of the poems when he was 16-18 years old, so that's cool too. Life.  You just have to live it.

Photo Credit: Snipped from Amazon.com  The new price (and ISBN) will be less th an $8.99 (they may discount it)

Self Publishing is SO CONFUSING.

 I think the main issue here is that I have never been able to get the truth out of anyone because they answer your question from the point of view of their own interest rather than from my interest. The distributor and/or retailer (Amazon) want your business and they naturally say they are the better choice. You have to decide what you're going to do, and you have to find out what you need on your own.  It's not easy, and from the point of view of an author who isn't an experienced publisher, it's really downright confusing; if not utterly frustrating. I'll explain.

    I have published several books but have always gone through a publisher who I suppose has a handshake with the major distributor, namely IngramSpark.  IngramSpark is both a Print-on-Demand (POD) printer and a distributor. They print on demand if someone asks them to, which would be unusual, but they do distribute to Amazon; so Amazon may ask them to print it for them. Either way, it's just six of one and a half-dozen of the other to an author. We just want our books out there so they can be looked up, seen, bought, and then ultimately we are paid! That's all we want.

    First, you write your book. Then you have choices as to who publishes it. You can go through IngramSpark for that too, but I didn't know that. I had NO IDEA that was an option until I left Xlibris and IngramSpark pointed out to me that they could have done what Xlibris did, but that's not to be decided today.  It's done. I spent $1200 getting the damn thing to the point that I have now a PDF interior and a PDF cover which can be uploaded to IngramSpark so it can be distributed. I think (if I had stayed with Xlibris another week) they would have done this for me, but I don't know. We won't know, because I left them after they proved to be nearly useless and I had to fight my way through the publishing process.

    I have the PDF interior and cover to upload. I think I can do that for $49 at IngramSpark for the softcover or paperback, as we used to call them. They then take the interior and cover, upload it and do what they do in order to get it over to Amazon, Apple, Barnes and Noble, and other global markets. That's a good thing. I am pretty stoked about that. They do have an eBook option as well. I'm on the fence about it because I think, (think) that I can upload that for free when I upload my print cover and interior, however, their site wasn't allowing it this weekend and I'm about to pull my hair out over the issue. When I wrote to their customer service you NEVER get anyone to call me back, they email me, and they suggest things that I've already done. NO HELP WHATSOEVER.

    At least I know I can get the print cover and interior uploaded. I may do that and come back to do the eBook, but then again, I may just wait for someone to finally answer me, it should not be this way. There should be people willing to help.  On the flip side of that, the KDP or Kindle Direct Publishing is probably going to be best for my eBook since 95% of my sales will likely be from Kindle. Well, OK, but that's $600 to upload. WHAT?  OK, maybe I'll just wait to save the money and do that since I'll make another $2.00 off each book I sell rather than allowing IngramSpark to take their cut if I go through them, only to have them go through Amazon. It's cutting out the middleman, but there is a cost involved to do it. DAMN.

    Bottom line, I have to wait to save the money to do it, I'm not rich at this point. I have to wait for the eBook but not the print version. I can also go ahead and upload the book on IngramSpark and see if they can run it through Amazon, then after I do have the $600 to take it from Ingram and re-up it at Amazon, but then I'd have to buy another ISBN. It's just too stupid, and it's just too confusing. I am not a fan. I have to admit that it's not for the fainthearted. Books are fun to write, but they do cost $$$ to have published, printed, promoted, and purchased. Maybe it will be worth it. I'll just save and do it correctly, that way I do not regret my decision later. It's only going to take 6-8 weeks to save that so I'll be OK, but damn. I really think it should be FREE to upload since they are making money on the sale. It's an eBOOK not a printed book. Geez!

    Yep, that's what I'll do. I'll upload the printed book on IngramSpark now so it can be out there, then I'll wait 6-8 weeks, save the $600 and upload it to Amazon directly, but I do want it to be global, so if Amazon doesn't have a global market, then I'm going with IngramSpark for sure. I need someone from IngramSpark to answer my questions!! That's what I need. Even a FAQ would be great.

UPDATE: I uploaded the print version of "Of Kilted Pleasure" as well as my poetry book "Periwinkle" onto IngramSpark today. They will be available next week on Amazon in PRINT version.  $19.99 or less for the novel, and $8.99 or less for the poetry book. The eBook will be uploaded when I can get the money to do so. I think maybe 6-8 weeks (June 15-July 1).  The eBook for "Of Kilted Pleasure" will be $5.99 USD I won't upload the poetry book for eBook, it wouldn't look right.  

Photo Credit: Steemit.com

My Two Grandmas.

 So, nowadays people have a multitude of grandparents because of divorce, remarriages, and blended families. I was born in the 60s and my parents were born in the 30s and there wasn't as much of that going around. I had two grandpas and I had two grandmas. Growing up I was privileged to have had a great grandma while I was young as well.  I remember thinking she must be 100 years old to have been Grandma's mom!  My dad's mom was 15 when Daddy was born. Her mom was 17 when she was born. My dad was 29 almost 30 when I was born, and I was when I thought GGM was 100.  Let's do the math. 5+30+15+17= 67.  My great-granny was only 6 years older than I am now, and if you take away 8 years because that's when my sister was born, my great-granny was only 59-60 when she became a GREAT GRANNY!  WOW. I can't even imagine.

    Anyway, all that being known, written, and wondered over, my Grandma Stringfellow or Grandma Olivea was a beautiful woman. She was 45 when I was born, and just stunning to look at all the way up until her last couple of years really. She was just as gracious and trim, and she always dressed to the hilt. She was pristine, to be honest, and that went for her house as well. Nothing was out of place, it looked as if it had been "done up" as they used to say, by the Merry Maids on a daily basis. She didn't cook that I remember; she may have, but not for me.  We never had dinner at her place because there were too many of us. Dad and Mom had 4 of us. Grandma Stringfellow married at age 14 to a man older, but too much older. They had 4 boys before she was 20 years old. Again, I can't imagine that. Let's contrast.

    My maternal Granny, Grandma Edwards, Nancy Melvina Free Edwards, was born in 1894. She was 65 when I was born, making her 70 when I was 5. She was older than my great granny on my daddy's side. When you're a kid that sort of math can be really confusing. Mellie or Granny as we called her because we didn't need to be backhanded for calling her by her middle name; was always (and I do mean always) cooking, cleaning, moving about, and getting ready for something going on at the church. Both ladies were born-again Christians, but my Grandma Stringfellow only attended church, she wasn't really into the social side of it. Grandma Edwards was the reason people socialized at the church, she was the cook!  I was born on Wednesday, and in the church that following Sunday, and in the nursery with my Grandma Edwards rocking my crib.  It never really went downhill. She continued to love me wholeheartedly until she went to see Jesus and let me just say I'm sure she still does love me.

    Grandma Stringfellow died in 1987 at the age of 70.  Grandma Edwards died in 1993 at the age of 99. She had 10 children, 24 Grands I think, and who knows how many other faces showing up for dinner, parties, celebrations, and gatherings. Her house remained spotless too, and there was a reason for it. If we made a mess of any kind we cleaned it up immediately. If we even thought about NOT cleaning it immediately, we were met with a spanking, and it didn't matter how old we were. I remember a cousin once, a foolish child, saying she was going to tattle on my granny for having spanked her.  My granny grabbed that girl, turned her back over the knee, and spanked her again, then told her to tattle that one too! She told the little girl, my sweet cousin, that if she didn't do what she was told she would be dragged to the mess and shown how to clean it up and any number of her children and grandchildren would assist in the instruction. She was not wrong.

    My Grandma Stringfellow never once, not one single time, told me what to do. She told my dad, and he told me or had my mom tell me. She didn't want to be hated or thought of as being mean. I can tell you this, I liked Grandma Edwards WAY WAY better than I did Grandma Stringfellow and it's because we were kids and she understood that. She corrected me. She instructed me. She cared enough to see that I knew what I was doing. She was pushy, bossy, in your face, and very direct, but she never once mistreated me or caused me to think she was going to harm me. Far from it. She would have defended any of us to her last breath. I think I had two or three actual conversations with Grandma Stringfellow because when we kids would try to talk to her she would remind us that the adults were talking. We were to be in the other room playing. With Grandma Edwards, until I got too big to do so, I sat in her lap and she read the Bible to me and explained it. There's a difference right there.

    When Grandma Stringfellow died I can honestly say I was sad for my dad, but I really didn't have any true emotional reaction. When Grandma Edwards died I did. She hadn't been able to cook for 3 years, so at 96 she fed all of us again, but we let her rest up after that Christmas. When the gates are opened and we all get to the place(s) where we meet people and know them again, I will likely have to look pretty hard to see Grandma Edwards. She'll be "Mellie" to us then, but she'll be pretty popular, to say the least.  I'll stand in line. I'm good. It's eternity after all, right? I have the time. Can't wait.  (I'll hug Aunt Wilma and Uncle Marvin while I wait.)

Photo Credit: Mom

PC Madness.

 Earlier this week I was very excited about a new computer that I had purchased to replace the old one (the one I'm using right now) because the old one makes noises and it's really slow.  OK...but now, I'm not really excited anymore, because the new one was really crappy, and no, I don't know what I'm doing, so I just picked one that seemed to fit my budget rather than what I needed. I have since learned my lesson, and I am packing that one up (Laura packed it) and I'm sending it back to the seller because you know what, I won't be used like that. I told the seller EXACTLY what I needed and they assured me that it would be all I needed. They lied.

    So, this one, the new one, is a gaming computer. I'm told it's on the lower end of gaming computers, but then again, I don't game. I should be OK. I will list its specs at the end.  It only has 16G RAM right now, but I'm adding a 16G card to it soon. If I have to have more I'll do it, but I think I should be OK. Again, not a gamer. I sell insurance and write books. (My very unique superpowers include predicting what someone will say when they call in to make a claim or need a quote.) If I think I want to use my new computer to run the world at any given point, I may have to hire an I.T. person to assist me. I am so not techy. I'm a dork, not a geek. 

    The thing is, I really hate having to buy new computers every three years, but it feels like I have to do that. I got this one in 2020 just before the Pandemic hit, I think. I can't actually remember, but I think that. I want to say that. I could be wrong. It's older than that because when I bought it new in the box it had been sitting in the box for a while; that's what I was told by my tech friend who did the whole "about" thing and could tell me everything I never knew about it. I just learned today how to do the thing where you hold down three keys and find out if your CPU needs upgrading.

    My tech friend showed me (over the phone) how to see if my CPU was being overworked. Turns out the new machine was so much worse off than the one I was replacing. It was so so so bad. I'm not having to pay for the shipping label, but I do have to pay a small fee, something like $7.95 for the insurance. I'm good with that. I deserve to carry some of the burdens for not knowing what I needed. My bad. This time I asked my tech friend to write down what I wanted. He went online and found the machine and I applied for the credit line. I got the credit line and added a 2-year warranty package just in case. You just never know. The total cost was $1250 and I can pay that out over the next year if I want to; I won't. I'll pay it off rather quickly, but the good news is, the company reports that you paid as agreed for the next 3 years. That's a bonus.

    Another bonus with the thing was, if I paid for their insurance and didn't end up using it, they'll refund 30% of it; that's a perk. A lot of insurance carriers are doing that now. They invest your money for a while, that's how they can afford to give you back a portion of your premium.  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I probably won't use their insurance so I'll look forward to that 30% back in 2025.

    When I was going for the credit limit the customer service people questioned me about a fraud alert on my bank account from September 2019. Wow, I had forgotten about it.  In September 2019 I purchased an online LP from a music artist from the UK, about 1-3 minutes later an additional $99 was taken from my account through the same PayPal account and I didn't know it. My bank called me to say there was an alert of suspicious activity and that they refused to pay the 2nd PayPal charge, only allowing the LP to be paid for. Then the same site tried 3 additional times to get the $99 out of my bank before they were reported by my bank to the authorities. Being the nice person that I am, I let the artist know. He was shocked! He should be, it was WEIRD, to say the least. I found out more, but I never told him. He apparently found out on his own, as the couple is no longer married.

    We have a mutual friend, and I called her today (rather late as I think it was nearly 6 p.m. here, so midnight there) and I told her about the questions from the customer service people. She said I wasn't the first one that had happened to but I was the one who alerted the artist to what was going on in his own house. It's sad really, you never think your spouse is doing that sort of thing, but I'm not even techy enough to make that stuff up; it is what it is. It was coming from the SAME IP address; makes you wonder. There's no way he knew. No way.  

    Well, anyway, the new computer will help me keep up with clients, leads, and things I have to save. I watch videos, movies, television shows, and play solitaire - - does that count as "gaming"? I don't think it should, but hey, I'm edgy, right? I'm just super excited to put this old machine into the closet after it's been stripped and reset. I don't want to gift it to anyone, but I may save it just in case the new one kicks and I have to have a backup. I may not reset it now that I think about it. I'll just take off photos or anything that takes up space.  (and this is where anyone with any I.T. expertise laughs at me.)

Here are the specs:  I'll add memory next month.

AMD Ryzen 5 5600G 3.90GHz (4.40GHz Max. Turbo)

Radeon Vega 7 1GB Shared (CPU Integrated)

16GB DDR4 ‑ 1 x 8GB (2 slots total, 64GB Max)

Photo Credit: scbssnj.com

Making Clotted Cream. (I'm doing it)

 This could be the single most important thing I do all week. I am about to make clotted cream. I will start it at 7:45 a.m. tomorrow morning, and by 7:45 p.m. tomorrow evening it will be done, but I will have to let it set out until it cools to room temperature, and just before going to bed tomorrow night, I'll pop it in the fridge and it will be ready for me on Friday morning. Can't wait.

    HOW you may ask, does one make clotted cream? I can't believe you're asking me that when the real question is, WHAT is clotted cream? Well, clotted cream is the best thing ever and it goes on anything you can think of that you may add butter too; and more things than that even. Clotted cream is literally just heavy whipping cream baked, cooled, and scooped. There is ONE ingredient in clotted cream, and that's...well, cream. It's heavy whipping cream in the United States and in the UK they call it "Double Cream". They have it pasteurized and extra or ultra-pasteurized, but to do the clotted cream correctly you'll just need the regular heavy whipping cream or double cream, nothing too fancy.

    Using a glass rectangular or square glass pan (glass works best) you'll pour the cream into the pan without spraying any oil into it. You just pour it straight in and you pour it about 1.5 inches thick before popping it into the oven at 175 degrees F or 80 degrees C.  You bake it for literally 12 hours, but I check it around the 10-hour mark to see if it's about done. I've been known to take it out at 10, not lying. Then, after you take it out, and it has the light golden colored (tiny bit) thicker top, you can use a spoon to take a bit off the top to see if it's nice and creamy (thick and spreadable) underneath.  You'll set it on the cabinet or table where the cat can't get to it, you may have to put it inside the microwave until it cools to about room temperature. I find that it takes 2 hours to do that.  Then just send it to the fridge to cool off completely.

    SUCH a good thing. In grocery stores in the U.S., if you can find it, it is about $9 for a very small amount. Whole Foods is the only place I know that has it, and yes, it was $8.99.  In the U.K. I bought it for about $3.50 (USD) and it was a bit larger, maybe 15-18 ounces vs the 6 oz jar I got at Whole Foods.  A good quart-size carton of heavy cream is about $4.00 USD and will make about 15-18 ozs or so, you will need a container to put it in. Maybe save an old butter tub. WORTH IT.  

NOW...here's the deal.  You have a top or a shelf of clotted cream at the top, and the underneath liquid is there to use to make biscuits or scones. Yep, you don't throw it out, you use it. The skimmed topper is the clotted cream you've been waiting for. Lift it, scoop it out, and put it in a container to use. Be sure to have a lid or a way to cover it.

    If you've never had clotted cream, you are absolutely missing out. If you just won't try it because the name "clotted cream" sounds bad, think of it as roasted heavy cream; that may help you out a bit. Just tell people you're British and need this to keep you going. They may understand. It really really, no really, is really very good...really. You can add jam, jelly, and cheese, you don't have to add anything. I top my bagels, biscuits, cookies, pies, just anything - - but it does add calories; you should know that. 

    OK there you go, one more thing off my list of things to make on Pinterest that has been super great and wonderful. I will likely update the photo when I make mine, but for now, you get the one I found online. Enjoy!!

UPDATE: So, I baked it for 12 hours at 175 but think it needs to stay in another hour or so. I raised the temperature to 200 as my oven may be a bit less heated than others, but there is a nice soft golden crust. I think it will be great.

Photo Credit: thefruitbasketshop.co.uk

Chapter One is Done. (Murder Book)

 I realized after I wrote the title "Chapter One is Done" that I would need to clarify which book was done because it would appear that I've written more than one book. Murder Book is officially my 7th book I think. I'll have to go look it up. I've written about 15 more but I've not published them. I need to combine them, chunk them, produce them, or rewrite them. I need to, I need to. I don't do it, but I do need to. I think it would be GREAT if I could be the person I'm pretending to be, and get out there and WRITE more.

    The first chapter of Murder Book is done.  I wrote it last night and it really only took me about an hour. I knew what I wanted to say. The following chapters will be a bit more difficult, but I'm hoping I can have the same flow of energy and decision-making. I tend to write when I'm writing if that makes sense. I have a really good idea of what I want to say, then I just set my fingers free on the keyboard and see what they have to say. This book will be fun to write as the narrator is a bit gruff and really says what they (no gender) want to say. The narrator is the person telling the story, and it's not written in 1st or 3rd party. This is an observation book. The narrator can be anything you wish them to be; as long as they say what I wrote, and don't go off half-cocked on their own storyline. That would be upsetting.

    I have a really wonderful at-home position at this time, and it allows me to spend a few hours just writing, researching, and doing what I need to do to get the books written as long as I also put in the work and answer the phone when it rings. I think I'll add my boss to this book, and my freaking awesome co-worker because she really helps the day pass faster as well. She's a licensed agent who has been with my boss for a little under a year now. We both work from home, and he takes us out to lunch now and again so he can have human interaction. When we zoom I usually choose not to be on camera so I don't have to put on makeup or wear work-appropriate clothes. My boss is forever saying he wishes he had that option. He does. He just doesn't realize he has that option. 

    The first chapter is all about grabbing the reader's attention. It needs to lay out the story, the plot, and a few characters to get the audience interested. It needs to tell just enough to keep them wanting to read more and more. The book takes place in the years 1918-1932, but there are really only references to the earlier years. The true work years in the book are 1929-1932 (Just after midnight on January 1, 1932). We'll see some really cool things, learn some more cool things, and witness murders and cover-ups, as well as an attempted murder that ends up leading to the arrests of the killers; not to mention sex....did I mention sex? Oh, well, I think you have to throw in a few bits and bobs to keep it moving. People like sex for some reason, so there will be a sex scene...maybe two.  We'll see if the detective takes off his overcoat for that. 

    I'm writing this book and then deciding where I should have it produced. I think I can find a place that will be as good as Xlibris, and that won't take too much effort. I'm hoping I can price the books at the price I want them to be priced at so that whenever someone buys the book I'll get money and they will feel that it is a good price too.  These books are so cheap-looking these days; it's a shame, but it's true.  They are worth about $10. I hope I can get Ingram to print the books for $10 and the Ebook will be about $5.99; that's the hope.

    Last night, after writing the first chapter, which really was only 1600 words; I decided to write out the notes for the remainder of the book. I got 21 pages typed up and thought no, I need more. I need so so so much more. So, tonight I'll add another 30 pages to the notes. It's really not that much when you break it down. I put out quotes I want to include, and ideas I want the characters to see, feel, say, experience, etc. I say things like "Discuss Conan Doyle's death" and that alone will be a two-page discussion.  It's as if each suggestion or note could bear 2-3 pages of fluff and stuff all by themselves. I could end up with fat book friends. I already know there will be a few (a lot) historical events taking place, or being mentioned. It's going to be a good and interesting ride - - both for me, the writer, and you, the reader. FUN TIMES...look for Murder Book to be available in the summer of 2023.

Photo Credit: Thehansindia.com

The Murder Book - - HAS BEGUN!

This is the official notice for the start of the new book titled "Murder Book".  It is a novel, and as you can probably tell from the title, it is a murder mystery.  It takes place between 1930-1932 or so, and it will have a few sites to traipse; Oklahoma, Chicago, and the great country of Scotland.  The City of Edinburgh will have the lion's share of attention I believe, but I will refer to the other locations as well as establish their necessity when they need to be needed. I'll inform the reader about the area, the times, the styles, the cultures, the laws, the by-laws, the traditions, and even the rumors about each location. There will be a few lines that may end up being catchphrases for Nick Posh.  Nick Posh is my detective for the series; and yes, there will be a series of Nick Posh detective novels. You have been told.

    The way I start a book is the most simple way possible. I have ideas that roll around in my head so I grab a new notebook, usually a composition notebook, and I start writing those ideas down. I probably have 30 composition notebooks laying about the house at this point. Some have murder story ideas, and others are romance novels. I have two for poetry because I lost the first one and then found it after I wrote out a few poems in the 2nd notebook. It happens.  Nothing happens, however, unless and until it is written down, signed, and then witnessed. You can't be too sure these days.

    Murder Book is going to be a spin-off type book; a book that assumes the action in the middle of its prime. This way, I can write the prequel as well as the sequels. I can do a flashback, I can do flashforward. I can dream, dance, prance, and scheme. I can completely go wild - - and I will.  I haven't been so excited about a book since my last book.  I have another one in the works too; one that will make this one seem like child's play in terms of me getting excited about writing it. That one will be amazing!!  For now, I have to appease myself with the series as it is and see where it goes. I have this series and the romance series to work on, so I should be pretty busy. I don't know if I'll ever have the money to get them all published, but they'll all be written and ready to go, then I can always do a GoFundMe or something to send them off to the publisher. OR....here's a thought, people can buy the other book, "Of Kilted Pleasure" and I can use the proceeds of it to fund these new books!! YEAH!! That's the real plan. 

    So far, I have about seven typed pages of notes. I need more. I am developing characters now, and deciding who dies, how they die, how they are covered up, and who they are mingled into and mixed up with in the other books. I'm also trying to find ways to use the books as a means to inform and educate the readers so they're not only entertained but they are educated as well; making their purchase an even better deal. See how nice I can be? No, don't tell anyone. Let them think I'm the biggest shrew out there. Why should they know I'm really an angel in disguise? Nope. Let them believe I'll hunt them down and force them to read my books!

    The book is NOT called "The Murder Book", but "Murder Book".  Believe it or not, it's the same when you look for it on a bookshelf at a store or library as the word "the" is never considered when filing. Crazy, huh? What if I wrote the book "The". LOL...don't tempt me. I'm just the sort of person to do that. Murder Book will be about 330-350 pages, it will be a 6x9 inch black and white novel. It will not have any photos in it, but I will have a nifty cover with Nick Posh in illustration form. Think Dick Tracy but he won't be wearing yellow.  He's more of a Paul Drake sort of guy if you watched the Perry Mason television shows from the 50s and the 60s.  He's tall and has grizzled hair in this book, but dark in the prequel. He'll eventually turn grey and be the man we expect all rugged gumshoes to be after 30 years of digging in the trash of the criminal elements of slummy backstreets.

    Nick has a past you know. He's on the case to both solve it and to cover up any evidence that could be used against him in a prior incident; I can't give too much away now. You'll like the story. You'll remember it too, and that's so much more important to a writer. Do I tease you now, and give you the start of the book, the very first line? OK, I've actually given it to you before, are you ready? "There's a reason they call her 'Plain Jane'". 

Photo Credit: MyComicShop.com 

Chicken Wraps For DAYS!!

 One of the problems with cooking for one or even two is that you have so much left over if you buy in bulk.  When I go to Winco to get my chicken breasts I know I'm going to come out with 10 breasts for just over $12.00, which is amazing! It's an amazing price, and yes, that's why I go.  It takes a minute to cook it all, but it will be cooked.  I cook for two right now, myself and my daughter Laura who I can't seem to convince it's time to fly the coop.  She's one of those daughters. She's almost 34, but she knows a good thing when she has it, so yeah, she's still clinging to the apron strings and this Mama bear is about to take off the apron; let me tell you.

    LOVE YOU, but you gotta go, and if you don't go girl, I'm leaving. It's just a matter of time before that actually happens, but until it does we can talk about food. Over the weekend I made an awesome chicken dinner in the slow cooker. It was something like an Italian Marsala dish, but I didn't add the mushrooms. I should have; I had them. I don't know what I was thinking. It was just simply fantastic, and since there were several pieces left over (I only used two large breasts and cut them in half) I decided to let them sit in the pot (in the fridge) and soak up all the sauce and cream cheese. That happened and then I did something really cool.

    I shred the chicken into very thin pulls, making the mix really soft and gooey. Chicken, cheese, cream cheese, and veggies kind of gooey, and after another hour in the fridge, I had a perfect blend to make toasted chicken wraps, adding a bit more cheese (hope you like cheese) and toasted it on the George Foreman (panini) grill. It really does make an excellent sandwich. I only eat 1/2 of the larger-sized tortilla wrap, so you guessed it, I had to call in Laura to do the cleanup. She had no problem doing that. I added grapes, olives, and pretzels to mine. She wasn't nearly as snazzy, preferring just to eat the wrap as is.  I hardly ever eat any meal without fruit these days.

    The point is if you're going to make something, and you know you'll have leftovers, get yourself an artisan loaf of several-grains bread or a package of good large tortillas and make wraps and panini for the next couple of days. We've had the same thing for about four meals now, to be honest. I had NO idea the chicken breasts were that big, but they were...are, I have 6 more.  This week I'll have to throw in a few beef, pork, and even shrimp dinners, but I have to wait until I can get the rest of the chicken eaten. I could give it to the dogs I suppose; that's always an option, and they don't mind helping. My dogs love me. 

    Pinterest hit a home run on this one. I think I spent less than $12.00 total on the chicken, cream cheese, regular cheese, Italian dressing, celery, and diced tomatoes and we're talking a full dinner for two, then three more meals of sandwiches! Yes, this is a good family-type meal maker that can be easily made, easily devoured, and easily cleaned, and it won't break the budget. You can't say that about the same thing you would buy at the fancy schmancy restaurant. The same meal I made over the weekend for one would have been $14-22 depending on where you go and what sides you have with your meal.  I'm not going to open up any cafes or restaurants any time soon, but if I did, the Italian Chicken wrap would be on the menu. It's cheap to make and I could make BANK on it.

    I just handed the last bite or two of the wrap to Ginger; she was patiently waiting by my side.  She knows me. One of the ways I stay so fit is to feed some of (if not 1/2) of my food to the dogs. I tend to think about it first, wondering if they'll be able to eat it without having digestive issues. Then I remember that I'm really old and have owned dogs my entire life. I've been "abusing" them I suppose, for about 60 years if you think about it. Damn.  So far, not one single dog has ever complained or died from my table-scrap supplements to their diet. Sorry fancy schmancy vets out there claiming otherwise. I'm gonna have to go with good old-fashioned good sense and a track record to beat the band.  My dogs love me. (unlike my kid, I won't kick the dogs out of the house.)

Photo Credit: Me.  Yuuki is the old boy, he's almost 16. Ginger is the brown one. (Tawny if you must know)

The Gourmet in Me!

 I always say I'm not a gourmet cook because I have never been properly trained to be one. I can take a recipe, follow it and tweak it, and I can make really good food. I know this, but there's just something about saying (out loud anyway) that I'm a gourmet that makes me feel really arrogant. I was, however, thinking it in my head just the other day when I went out to dinner with friends and spent far too much for far too little food and the quality was good but not brilliant. I was saying in my head and to myself, "You could have done that so much better".  The thing is, I could, but is that the point? I mean, it could be the point if you're trying to compete, but I don't compete. I don't do the whole chef thing or the beat-them-at-their-own-game thing. I just cook really good food.

    Today, I was interested in doing something a bit different, and I found a recipe for something that I hadn't tried before. It seemed extreme, and in the end, it has a bit of a kick to it, but not in a bad way. It's more of a zest than a hot, so I'm OK with it. I will survive.  One thing I don't do is hot spicy food; sorry...just not gonna happen. I'll make it for someone else, but I can't taste it to see if it turned out or not. My belly says no, my bowels agree with my belly, and then I'm on the floor dying. It's not pretty, and no, it's just not gonna happen.  Today's event was intriguing enough for me.

    I made what Pinterest referred to as Italian Slow-cooked Chicken.  It called for a full cup of zesty Italian dressing; I think I could have been OK with only 1/2 a cup. It called for a full bar of cream cheese.  Again, I think I could have been OK with using only 1/2 of the bar for the four pieces of chicken breasts that I ended up cooking.  I let them all heat and simmer together with another 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese and onion spices before I added the celery and basil. It's really really good, I'm not going to lie, but next time (and there will be a next time) I will cut the ingredients in half. I did use some of the drippings in the rice cooker to make the rice, so we'll see how that turns out. I'm thinking it will be pretty great.

    One thing about the slow cooker is that you can literally turn it on and leave it. You can simmer a brisket for 10-12 hours in the hickory and smoke sauce.  You can cook your stews for 4-6 hours (don't forget a little baking soda to tenderize the meat).  The chicken doesn't need any extra assistance, the heat and the vinegar in the dressing are enough to break it up sufficiently for your meal.  After I eat this meal I'll take the leftover chicken, shred it, and use it in a chicken salad panini sandwich tomorrow. If that's not on Pinterest it should be. I may add it. I can you know, I'm not above that.

    One of the reasons, in fact, the #1 reason why I tend to cook at home rather than go out to restaurants to get fine dining, is of course the cost.  The chicken dinner I had with friends was over $27 for my meal, and when I say I was upset about it, you haven't seen me upset until you get me to pay $27 for 1/2 a breast of chicken and less than a 1/2 cup of rice with a few green and yellow vegetables adding up to maybe a 1/3 of a cup if stacked on top of each other. They didn't even include bread with the meal; it was an appetizer. They did drizzle the sauce on the plate, and add little dots to make it appear chic and edgy....yeah, not interested.  The atmosphere was louder than it should be; I may as well have stayed home and listened to the dogs play, or kept the television on in the background.  (For those of you who don't know me, I don't watch TV I may watch a show online, but the TV stays off most of the time unless the weatherman is really excited about something.)

    Yeah, I'm not an official gourmet. I just have really good spices and good timing I guess. I was trained by the kids who were learning at Pratt's Culinary College back in 2003. I was their Gen. Ed teacher. I can say that! They trained the heck out of me for all the extra credit they could get. I know how to use the system!! I learned a great deal, they learned a great deal, and we all ate well. It's a win-win.  I will say this: I won't go out with friends and spend $$$$ again. I'll invite them over and let them eat my food and we can spend the money going to the Oklahoma City Zoo and walking it off. That's a much better plan!!

Photo Credit: Electicrecipes.com  (I don't have the best camera to take photos and my shadows were all over the place. Sorry)

Dating in 2023. NO Thank You!

 It is no wonder why this world is in the shape and condition it is in now. We have people who swore to God and before family and friends that they would love, honor, cherish, take care of, follow, and be best friends to a certain other person, only to cheat on them and treat them like crap.  We have the worst track record here in the United States where it is easier to get a divorce, but it's just as bad in Europe and other areas of the world where it is not that easy. I have a friend (I'll call him a friend) in Scotland who is going through the two-year waiting period so he and his wife can be legally divorced. So stupid! Just sign the damn papers and be done with it. The way that woman is treating him now makes me wonder if she EVER loved him, or if she only used him to clean the house and babysit her kid; you know, the one she had with the other guy she mistreated and cheated on before she met my friend. God bless him.

    I'm just so sick of this crap! I haven't had a date in over 24 years and if I go another 24 years without the trials, tribulations, pressures, and mayhem that goes along with dating, I'm OK with that. Just this evening I was reading a Twitter post where a woman gave dating advice. I don't know why she popped up on my side of the world, I'm not following her. Her advice to women was "Ladies if a man orders dessert when you're paying for the date, ghost his ass. Leave the restaurant and leave him with the bill."  This was her true and actual advice to people who were dating. So freaking what, if a man orders dessert? Are we saying now that having dessert is out of the question, or is it the extra $5.00 you don't want to have to pay for him to be a little happier than he was? Tell me, I want to know! 

    I watched a man go into a store this morning and his wife was several steps behind him. I continued to watch as he not only didn't open the door for her, he didn't wait on her to catch up. He didn't walk around with her in the store. She got a buggy and I'm not kidding you, the man screamed at her telling her she was stupid for grabbing a buggy, he didn't want to be in the store that long and she wasn't "about to spend more than what I told you that you could spend"...that man would be run over with said buggy and then I'd back up and run his ass over again. No, I wouldn't. I would simply walk away and he would speak to my attorney the next day. I don't advocate violence, I only dream about it and write it in my novels. His ass would be the next man murdered in my next bestseller. 

    There's just no reason to treat people the way they are being treated. If you have no intention of keeping your promise to someone don't make the damn promise. You are in control of your actions. You either mean what you say, or you lied. You either meant it, or you did not mean it. You couldn't pay me to date anyone right now. I may marry someone but I sure as hellfire won't date them. I won't marry them either (him, not them, there would be only one, and he would be a man) unless God plopped him in my lap and said "This one is yours, you're welcome". That's the only way and if that happens you can bet that the temperatures in Hell have fallen by a few degrees. To put up with the "rules" or expectations of what is being dished out these days would be nonsense. Not to mention the wanton and rampant STDs and other creepy-crawlies that are flying around out there.

    NO THANK YOU. Another friend of mine is permanently injured internally through a sexually transmitted disease that she can't get rid of. She is never going to be clear of it. She thought she knew the man.  They dated for several weeks and got to know one another right? Well, he didn't tell her about that. They are no longer together, but she can't be with anyone else now. She's not alone, the stats on STDs in America are staggering, but they are higher in many and most other countries. It's absolutely incredible!!  Before I could or would marry (because I won't date) that man would be run through the gambit wringer medically at my expense. He'd be cleaner than a new whistle by the time I said yes. If that sounds like something you don't want any part of that's OK, you're not the one I'd marry anyway, so there you go - - problem solved.

    If you want the shock of your life go somewhere and people-watch. Watch how men treat their wives. Watch how women treat their husbands. I'm not talking about the dating scene now because people can pretty much fake their way through that except really they can't. Right now if a man in his 40s wanted to date he'd have to worry about that woman accepting his kids, he'd have to accept her kids, there would be too many in-laws, ex-laws, and blended half-this-and-that as well as the expense on watching younger kids while you go out. Who pays for that? Does the man pay for her kids to have a sitter? What if he's not interested in having more and she wants more, and then their relationship hits the skids when she finds out he's fixed but she's pregnant? Well, there you go...yes, that happened to another one of my friends. See why I don't date? NOPE..not gonna happen.  Bob was dating C.C. and she ends up pregnant and told him. Bob looks her in the face and says he was fixed 10 years ago. She just walked away. Yep! What else can she do? She and Bob dated for 11 months. He can't get that back, can he?

    What I found impossible to stomach is when Bob came over for coffee and cookies to tell me all about it, and he said he just now found out that C.C. also hated dogs! She didn't like the Beatles, and she didn't like half the places they went but went only because he wanted to go, but because of that she forced him to go where she wanted to go, and he hated it. Listen, people, you can go your own way and still be together!! No one expects, or shouldn't expect, their significant other to enjoy everything they enjoy. It's not like you are expected to spend 24/7/365 together. Have your own likes and dislikes, agree to disagree, and just chat without arguing over things that really don't freakin' matter!!  Who gives a damn if this band is better than that one, or this team is great, or if this or that celebrity is pretty or handsome? Screw that, and just decide whether or not you're suitable for one another BEFORE you lie and cheat and steal and end up hating each other! (Who the hell even speaks to people who hate dogs? Why would you keep that from someone? It's going to come out!) GEEZ!!!

    Gonna get really intimate here and give you a secret; staying celibate has been the best decision of my life. I mean, yeah, I'm glad I have my three kids, but not having to "be on" or "in the mood" or whatever else has been just wonderful. I think sex is fantastic, it's fantabulous, wonderful, and extremely entertaining, but if one or the other of the participants has to beg for it constantly, it's NOT worth it. It's OK to be tired now and again, but come on! Find someone who has the same likes and dislikes in that category rather than agreeing to disagree. The bedroom is your place, your choice, your thing, not for others to even know about. Don't tell your friends what you do. Tell each other what you want. Don't complain about it to other people. Talk about it. KNOW before you get burned is all I'm saying.  Don't test drive to see if it's going to work out -- talk about it first, and get the nitty gritty down before you do the nitty gritty and find out your nitty is more gritty than his and he's not really into your kink. FIND OUT FIRST before you walk into the bedroom and see chains hanging from the rafter!

    OK, back to the part where I say dating is for the birds. It is. Some birds mate for life too by the way, and I don't think there's a bird divorce counseling service out there. They work it out. People need to work things out before they go off (half-cocked pun intended) and make the bigger mistakes of their lives; mistakes that often or could have grave consequences. Here's a thought, and yes, it's really churchy...pray about it. Find God's answer and stick with it. He hasn't been wrong yet, that's one heck of a track record. I think that's why they say "What God has put together let no man put asunder." Let me tell you, just because you say "I do" doesn't mean you will.  Too many out there proving that every day.  If God put it together it will remain. Don't fool yourselves into thinking God wants you to be together if you know it's not the case. He knows...and if you've ever been divorced (guilty) you've not made the right decision, and He didn't put it together. Simple Math. Don't expect someone else to be the one for you if you can't be the one for them. 

1+1=1  in the marriages God actually approves of.

Photo Credit: agreatimpression.com