Zen Baby, Zen!

It's so funny! These babies, they think they can get one over on me. No way. Please, I've been zenning babies since 1986. I have it down to a science. Within a minute or so after I pick a screaming squealing kid that simply won't shut up I can have him or her flat on their backs resting in their cribs and either sound asleep or in that hazy-lazy spot of zen-perfection. Easy stuff. All I have to do is put my little ipod on New Age music, maybe something Celtic, maybe something Oriental with dings and pings and little tinkling bells....that's it. Happy, cool, calm, collected baby. I set the leathery soft over-the-ear headsets on large so they don't fit tightly, but snug enough they can hear it all. I can hear it too, so I turn it down just a notch as not to hurt the tiny eardrums, and before I can say "Highland's March" the baby is out! I asked Caity to assist me with this project of course before Copeland was even born. When she was 3 or 4 months along I asked her to put the headsets over her belly bump so he could feel the vibrations. I wanted to spend the extra money and get her some wireless headsets but never got around to it. I do watch the cords when I set him down to be sure he's not tangling himself in them. He's gone - - out. I can hear him every now and then cooing something or making a very satisfied sound such as to say "Don't bother me Granny, I'm listening to David Arkenstone at the moment and can't be disturbed." He even moves his arms around like he's conducting. He wants to have his music played for him, he cries for it..literally. If I had to guess I'd say his favorite are the Celtic Christmas tunes or the band 2002, which is more New Age zenny and he likes the harp. That much I know. So, go on you old-fashioned grannies out there rocking, carrying, pushing, strolling, and driving your grand babies around to shut them up, not me..we zen. We zen, and we zen, and we zen. As soon as he's old enough we'll meditate with headsets on and I'll take him to a music store so he can pick out the instrument he wants to play. I don't know all there is to know about babies, but I do know, there will be music.

Happy Daddy's Day

I have a father of course, and I want to take a minute and acknowledge him today as it is HIS day. It is Father's Day and he is a wonderful father. He and I didn't (and don't) usually agree on anything whatsoever, but I still consider him to be wise and wonderful. He's fantastic in so many ways. Happy Father's Day Dad!!

I have another father I want to think about today and congratulate. Brandon! My grand baby's father. Brandon is just a young man, a very young man in fact, but he's a daddy, and today is his very first Father's Day. Today he was served his breakfast in bed (thank you Caity) and he was allowed to lay around, not do much, and watch anything he wants to on television - - it's HIS day!! He's choosing to spend his day of course with Caity and Copeland. They're going to go on a walk later on I imagine. It's too wet here in Indy to go to the Zoo, but he'll make up for that soon. He's going to be watching movies with them, playing, and hanging out. I told them about a new trail that Laura and I found, so I'll watch Copeland while he and Caity explore that. It's concrete and doesn't have all the slippery slopes that the nature trails have, so the rain outside shouldn't be too much of a factor. He's not made out of sugar, he won't melt.

So, Happy FIRST Father's Day to Brandon - - he's been a great daddy to Copeland since before he was born and I think he'll be a winner for a very long time. I have to really stand tall on my tippy-toes to hug him, he's about 6'4" but I did manage to get it done!!

Apparently I am Jeff Saturday!

It must have something to do with the fact that my son loves Jeff Saturday's beard, or because Saturday wears number #63 on his Indianapolis Colts jersey because Reuben wore #63 when he played for his high school team. Whatever the reason is, it is only known to Reuben, but he has donned me to be "Jeff Saturday".  I have been called so much worse, I assure you. 

Whenever I need to make a point to Reuben I do so by using football analogy. If I can't use a comparison to something dealing with football, I try to use the next best thing; war. Somehow football and war are close enough that no matter what my point is, I can usually make it by finding something to relate it to using either of these two subjects.  

Well, today I was telling my son that I need to be more of a team player, more blended and less noticed. I recently lost another job because I was curious and asked too many questions about ethics and oh, I don’t know why it is, but I usually expect my employers to actually have ethics from time to time.  I was working for an insurance company in Indianapolis, a new company mind you, not the one I was working with just a few weeks beforehand, where I had quit due to the fact that the boss fully expected me to work for free without paying me after I sold $22,000.00 in annualized property and casualty premium – small things like that sort of bother me.  I was working for the new company, and they had flown me to Chicago from Indy to train for a week. I made it past the first night OK, even though I had to pitch a fit when they had tried to double book my room allowing another woman whom I had never met before be my roomy for the week. That’s a no-go. 

While there, and I mean the first few hours of the first day, I managed to get myself into more trouble again, by asking why it was that the company trainer was asking us to break about sixteen laws and to be overtly immoral to boot? It was a valid question. I sat in the front row of the training room, a spot I always take, because to me, if you’re worth anything at all you’ll place yourself near the trainer so you both ask questions and see clearly if there are any presentations to be made.  I was not alone in my thought process; a man by the name of Marty Kapp joined me at the front of the room while all the younger, less experienced sales agents were sitting so far back that at one point the trainer gave Marty and I a head nod thanking us for paying attention.  She even leaned in and thanked us, but for all of her gratitude she failed miserably when it came to expecting her new agents to play the game correctly, or by the book! 

I wasn’t there for the first lunch, we’ll put it that way.  Within an hour of her presentation the woman managed to ask us to break at least two truly impenetrable laws which if we had been caught doing would have meant losing our licenses for sure; yet there she was demonstrating exactly how to get around every rule! Marty, an ex-police officer, Navy man, and good guy all around, just shook his head at her and then turned to me and said something like, “When you walk out of here, I’m right behind you.”  Marty and I shared a quick lunch before both of us packed our bags and made our way to the airport to fly back to our respective homes. I was going back to Indy, and he to Ohio.  I called Reuben (again) and asked him to pick me up earlier than he had anticipated. 

Reuben looked at me from the driver's seat of the car and said "You know Mom, I'm getting a little tired of picking you up early and finding out that you lost your job because you think something isn't legal, or you think something could be done another way. You need to be more ... you need to be more like Jeff Saturday and less like Peyton Manning. Peyton has a right to know what's going on down the field, he's the leader, he's the quarterback, he's the one with the win or lose on his head. YOU, and Jeff Saturday, need to keep your head down, one hand on the ball, one hand on the ready to guard, and listen to full count before making your move. You never know, the QB may just call an audible at the last second." And with that I realized my son was actually being more like me....and I understood everything he was saying to me. It wasn't that I wanted to cause trouble by asking the trainer why they were allowing or even training us to break the laws, I just wanted clarification; and understanding of the situation. What I got was an ejection from the field for being up in the Head Coach's face during a play when I should have been on the field minding my own business with my hand on the ball and my head down, waiting for the count to snap. I get it.  

Reuben explained that Saturday, as the Center, is in the middle of it. He's strong, quiet, paying attention, forceful but controlled, and he's the one the ball belongs to until he gives it away. I'm supposed to give my knowledge, training, and experience to the situation not fuss with the coaches or the managers about the rules of the game. I get it. Besides, Saturday is a Pro-Bowler and he's cute too. I can be cute. I'm not gonna rock a beard like his anytime soon, but I can do this. I can be Jeff Saturday...he's cute, I can do this.  

Copeland Elijah Wayne Stringfellow

Caity woke up April 26 with a bit of a pain in her back, but thought she would be sent home if she went up to the hospital to be checked. She had been checked a couple of days beforehand, and was sent home. The nurses told her that Copeland wasn't going to be coming for at least a week, but Caity felt that she was already a week overdue. She was trying to get the nurses to understand that she had made a mistake in her previous calculations - - she felt that the baby was now overdue. (She was right!)

Baby Copeland Elijah Wayne Stringfellow came into the world at exactly 3:26 p.m. weighing just under 9 pounds. He was 8 pounds, 15.6 ounces and he was 21 inches long. He wasn't all that happy about being out of the warm belly either. He has a sort of serious minded expression most of the time. I'm not sure he's still really happy with us, but we sure are happy he's here! We currently all reside together until the kids get their feet on the ground; this gives everyone a chance to bond with Cope and give him the secure family feeling he needs. He has been a blessing from the beginning and we thank God for his health, his safe entrance, Caity's health, and all the stuff that goes with being a new member to the family.

Reuben wanted to be at the birth, but had to finish working. I can't even explain the look on Laura's face as Copeland was being born -- she was hiding at the top of the bed behind Caity. Oh, and Caity was something else too - - let me tell you. When the midwife came into the room and checked her, asking her if she needed pain meds or the epidural Caity wasn't sure she wanted anything. I spoke up and told them yes. She was dialated and ready to start getting serious; when I was in that position I was begging for help. NOT CAITY...if you know the girl you'd know she doesn't cry much, and even has a tattoo on the inside of her lip! She just doesn't feel pain like the rest of us...like normal people.

Copeland was born, we all relaxed, and Caity has been just the best mommy. She's a natural. For his part, Copeland is a good baby, a bit fussy, but he's a Taurus. We get that..just like his Aunty Laura and my dad. Can we survive another one? As long as nothing changes we should be fine huh?

Copeland's daddy's name is Brandon Wayne, so that's where the Wayne comes in. My dad is also Reuben Wayne. They came up with Copeland on their own; I think it's the name of a band they both like. We call the boy "Cope" or "Copey" and of course he's perfect....of course.

Attitude of Graditude.

Wow, I sound like a broken record when I go on and on about being filled with joy and gratitude rather than being happy. Trying to make yourself laugh is one thing, but to think you can be happy in all situations is just silly. The key to being really full of the RIGHT emotion, the one that keeps your heart from worry and your head from spinning, is to THINK about it. THINK, think, think good and precious thoughts. By allowing your mind to think about the things you most appreciate, you bring on a sense of belonging for yourself within that thought. It's a place you go when you need to. It's a place you go when you want to. It's such a private club too; no one else is allowed in. Just you. You are it. You! You! YOU! 

 I try hard every day to think about the dreams I just had. I wake up and think hard about them, sometimes I can recall pieces. It's as if my mind is shutting off the access to itself and even I am not invited back into it. This morning I remember being out on a Sunday. Why I knew it was Sunday I don' know. There were very few others out, and I was in a mall or theatre; lots of doors, things to see. I rode around on a little motor-box, it was cute really and I felt the need to explain myself to another woman who was walking with her kid next to me. I think I said my daughter made me do it. It made her laugh -- and before she departed and went into another theatre or door she said "have fun" and you know - - I did. I was just in the place riding around having fun. I can appreciate that. 

 Appreciation is the bomb! That statement just showed my age. OK -- having the right mind set is everything. You start the day out right, you're able to work that day out with more grace toward others. I know when I'm being hurt by someone I sometimes feel like I could conjure up words to just blast them back where they came from, but then it hits me...that's not what they need. Remember the saying "Kill them with kindness"? It works. Gratitude brings harmony, it brings peace and you know what, I don't know about you, but I just don't see a lot of that peace stuff these days. So let me be the one to start it on its way back!

Take 3 minutes and just make a mental or real list of all the things around you right now that you can touch if you had to, that you appreciate. Just looking to both my sides and in front of me, without seeing the bed and comforts of sleep behind me; I could say: the computer, technology, books, chimes, food (I'm eating) and that stuffed monkey my son bought me from Alaska that's three-feet tall! I can think of other things like lotion, my cell phone, a flash light, and oh look...my glasses. You know I appreciate those. Give it a go. Find joy surrounding YOU. Bring back peace to yourself in the process.

Joy! Find it!

When someone asks me if I'm happy, or how I'm feeling, I sometimes answer "I don't know if I'm happy, but I am joyful". I don't want to sound overly religious when I say that, I'm not trying to convert anyone, but JOY is so much more beneficial than happiness. Happiness depends on your emotional state. If you're not upbeat or gitty about something than being HAPPY is just not going to happen. HOWEVER, you can be joyful in most situations even the ones that seem desparate or sad.

JOY isn't giggles and rainbows. Joy is the understanding that it will be fine,it will work out, it will be honored, it will have a final good ending. JOY is knowing that no matter what you are still worth something to yourself and/or to someone else, and certainly (here is the conversion part) you are worth something to God. He wouldn't have made you if you didn't have some sort of purpose, be it big or small. JOY is the goal for all of my achievements. I can't begin to say that too often, because it is true. Without joy there is no hope; without hope there is no reason. We all have some desire, put joy in gear and if you don't have it, look for it.

I watched a show the other night where a boy about aged 4 told his mom over and over that he couldn't do something. "I can't do it" he said..and not surprisingly the mom sad up straight, crossed her legs and said "I know, let's blow 'can't' away and it can never come back!" Then she asked him if he was ready -- he was, and they both drew up all of the breaths they could hold and pushed out all the air and along with it, the CAN'T that had been inside...all of it. Can't is not welcome. It just isn't. It was fun to watch, and fun to do a little later on when a negative thought hit me. I was in the store, and yeah, maybe I looked like an idiot for a second, but I drew up my breath and blew out all the can't. IT LEFT ME...and I laughed. JOY.

So yes, be daring enough to make your neighbor wonder just a second or two if you haven't lost all your marbles. For no reason, and for every reason, find JOY in the things you overlook every day. You'll be so surprised, or maybe you won't be, how great you feel afterwards. Besides, happiness lets go sooner too. Joy hangs around.

Can the Law of Attraction Bring You That Someone?

I'm sure you know all about the Law of Attraction. You've heard the words buzzng around, and maybe you've gone so far as to buy a book about it, or you looked it up and thought it sounds too good to be true. It's not too good, it is good, but it is as true as the brain in your head or the decision you make in your heart to do what is necessary to apply the law to your daily and even minute-by-minute needs. I know, I know, it's new-age right? No, it's not. The Law of Attraction may have been recently named but it a force that God created a long long long time ago. It's a LAW so it won't change. Think of the Law of Gravity, it does change, but not on this Earth. The Law of Attraction - reaches to the moon! (and beyond actually)

Can I really THINK a man into my life? One that I want, one that I think will be the best candidate to be that one, that right guy? Sure, and I'll tell you why? We spend too much of our time remembering things that didn't work out in relationships and we think out loud to our friends and those who will listen, that NEXT TIME it's going to be different. I don't know about you, but I have waited over 12 years this time and you know that by God and all things Holy, the next one is be nothing like that man I married; but I won't use negative thinking to make that happen because the Law of Attraction is very powerful, respectful of your thoughts, and obedient! If you think about it, negative or positive, it comes to you -- that thought (thoughts) create braided vibrations in time and find other vibrations out there being sent out by those types of people just because they live the way they do, and THEY are the ones to be attracted back to you -- whether or not you pick one to be a mate, that's up to you, but you will certainly ATTRACT one to you. DON'T think negatively - - just don't do it. Acknowledge that you have those thoughts and move on...fast.

When I think about it, I want a man who respects me and what I am currently involved in. I am a writer, a playful soul, a happy woman. I expect a man who expects me to be this way. I think on the intention of his thoughts, he intends to be with me, he intends to find someone like me, he's looking for someone like me, and I'm thinking of someone like him. It will happen simply because of the Law...it has to. There is no way out of the circle - - round and round it goes. You think, it attracts, you receive....so, since you're the creator of your thoughts,it only stands to reason, and good thinking, that you would think intentionally, deliberately, on purpose, for the things you truly want. THAT is the key to the gate. OPEN IT.

Oh, and as for that man that I'm thinking about, I'm not thinking about 100 of them like him - - just him. There is only one. God made him, He can bring the man around. He's better at it anyway. I messed up the last time.

4-D Ultrasound - - No One Can Hide!

Poor baby Copeland Elijah Wayne! He's just a little over 31 weeks along inside his mother (my daughter) and already we're spying on him. Surveillance cameras probing his every move already. He doesn't stand a chance. I bet by this time next year someone will have developed a way to fingerprint babies inside their mothers and then they'll match those prints with the ones they take when they come out so that they are sure the right babies go home with the right parents. Watch, you heard it here first.

Caity went to the Precious Peeks location in Avon, Indiana where we live, to get a closer and very personal look at her unborn baby boy Copeland. He's in there alright, and at 31 weeks he's finally decided he can't hide from the ultrasound tech. Nope, not anymore. Mr. Santiago, the owner and operator of the machines that allow us such a great look into the life of our little guy was just as glad as we were that he was able to capture little Copeland. Caity, Brandon and I have been to the facility 4 times to get the procedure done, which takes 30-40 minutes if you do it right; but he was always turning away from the camera. Shy of the paparazzi I suppose, but we're his family!! Caity was asked to move to the left, then to the right, then she was asked to stand up, and even once to do a hand-stand with the help of her sweet and extremely patient boyfriend Brandon. I didn't like hearing that she was doing that, but you gotta shake the kid from the corner every now and then!

Today he was forced to show his pretty face after she drank 16 oz of freezing cold water which eventually made its way to the placenta and Copeland instinctively moved the cord away from his face; the cord he had been using in the past to shield him from the wide eyes of the ultrasound probe. AHA!! We found you Copeland. You cannot hide any longer we know your weakness.....and of course, being a normal and perfect baby, he adhered to our begging and came out just long enough from under his warm folds of tissue to peek at us, literally opening his eyes, opening his mouth several times, and even sticking out his tongue. Naturally we laughed. Brandon got a little emotional and his eyes welled up - it's usually me that does that, but this time it was DADDY!!!

I will say that it's a bit expensive, and it's a bit of a luxury to take this step at this point and have your baby's portrait taken even before he or she is born, but the tech made it all worth it. He made Caity a DVD of the 35 min. session, he assured us that other facilities make you pay EACH time rather than guaranteeing you that you will have a good session. He recorded Copeland's heartbeat and put it inside a little fuzzy teddy bear for Caity, and made her 36 individual pictures showing her how he stretches, yawns, winks, blinks, and yes, sticks his finger in his ear to show us he's had about enough of us staring at him. Well, he had better get use to it - - we Stringfellows have cameras attached to our hands. If he thinks he's being invaded now, he hasn't seen the start of it.

April 27, 2011 is the due date. Drivers, start your engines!!

Priority! Priority!

Oh, it's all about getting our heads screwed on right, isn't it? Remember your grandpa telling you that you had a screw loose in your head? I think I actually thought we were all put together inside our bodies like some sort of machine, a Frankensteinish thing where maybe you couldn't see it unless you were a doctor, but people actually had screws and bolts, and they could possibly come loose! I didn't want that to happen to me. LOL

Over the years, and more precisely over the last few years, forcing myself to prioritize my goals, dreams, and desires has been both a challenge and a process. I'm one of those believers in thought, believers in positive motivational thinking. I believe something can happen simply because I believe it. Remember when you picked up the phone to call someone and they were on the phone already calling you? How does that happen? Sure, there's the logistical explanation that you may be holding to a routine of calling a certain person at more or less a certain time, but for the sake of this point I'm putting it out there that you sent out a thought to the vast and wonderful universe that you personally had an intention to connect with someone and that thought, backed by intention, fortified by positive motivation, put a real vibration into the world and it matched up with another thought just like it -- you may have read about it in the popular book "The Secret", but it's been going on forever. This world of ours, a gift like no other, has a way of producing exactly that which we think about mostly or most strongly.

Getting my mind to separate thoughts, separate dreams, and to separate what I want, now that's the secret if there is one. I have to identify my idea and sit myself down to think about them sometimes. It helps to write it out, pray over it, write it out again, say it out loud and yes, tell someone so that the vibrations of what I want actually come out from my mouth and into the ever-all listening universe. I say God..I always give Him that credit since He actually made the universe. Priority is everything...because that's where the universe begins. It won't jump in the middle, it goes straight off the top - - whatever you are thinking in THAT moment, THIS moment, is what begins the force behind the manifestation which will eventually create that which you are thinking. EVERY time. It's called the Law of Attraction and it works. It really works. REALLY REALLY...it works.

Now what? What do you do first? Simple - - breathe. It's what you do next that counts.

What Are Best Friends For?

Some best friends take you shopping when you’re feeling bad and they bring you chocolate. Mine gave me the “eye” and told me to get over it. Being a life-long Cher fan, I’m just lucky she didn’t slap me across the face now and then and scream “Snap out of it!”. I say that, I may have just opened myself up to a rude awakening next time Jeannie catches me in a mood.

There are women out in this giant and wonderful world who climb corporate ladders, close multi-million dollar deals, create and maintain enormous budgets and hire and fire employees when necessary. Other great and powerful women run for office, run an office, write for syndicated columns (had to add that) and some are law enforcement agents, senators, who are always in the public eye or splashed across headlines in newspapers - - or on Nancy Grace selling their new book which will certainly forever change the way the world operates. Other women, other great women work hard behind the scenes, setting things up, getting things ready, and being there when we need them -- this is my best friend. Sometime back in the 1980‘s Jeannie felt a call to help children. It was a call that led her to her current position of educator, teacher, supervisor, and ultimate child care-giver at a fabulous Oklahoma City based facility called appropriately, Special Care. Working with minor to severe handicapped and/or challenged children comes incredibly easily to this woman, she almost makes it look as if she had given birth to the hundreds of kids I have personally witnessed her ministering to. It literally begs the question “what would they do without her?”

For me the question is moot. I don’t have to ever worry about being without my best friend even if we are geographically challenged for now. Jeannie has finally learned from her daughters Julie and Kristen how to set up and use her Facebook account! No worries, right? I can even get her to post a picture with just the slightest of instruction, she’s really coming along. To be honest with you Jeannie and I were instant soul-mates. I know I am taking a chance at embarrassing her by saying this, but it won’t be the first time; Jeannie and I were literally forced into our relationship as besties when her best friend and my best friend walked off together from the cafeteria table we were perched at on that first day of school. My sophomore year, her senior year, just the two of us alone but together - alone. I think it went something like this: “Hi, I’m Jude. I like the Bee Gees” to which she answered “Oh, yeah, OK I’m Jeannie and I like Barry the best.” Liking Barry the best, and telling me so was key to everything - I was a Maurice Gibb fan. We were both Oklahoma Sooner fans, so that was all it took to seal the deal. Maybe it took two or three more minutes of discussion for it to happen, but we both realized our friends weren’t coming back for us. We were stuck there in teenage hell at school but at least we had each other. That was August 22, 1978. Those two other friends never returned to claim us. Jeannie and I are best friends.

It may seem trite or simple for me to make the decision to interview my best friend for one of my first articles with Women’s Radio, and I assure you it was an easy decision. I wanted you to know Jeannie and to get the opportunity to celebrate her along with thoughts, prayers, and memories of your own best friend. It was an awesome experience to sit on my couch watching crime shows with her, texting sarcastic remarks about which CSI character would or wouldn’t do what they just did in public. If there’s one thing we do really well its texting and being rude to each other at the expense of television reality show character, an opposing football team, or in most cases a real life criminal being exposed on Headline News. Every day Jeannie and I text for hours - our way of keeping in touch. Sitting on the couch I asked her through phone messages what her ideal job would be, what her goals were, what she thought were some of the biggest highlights of her life. She knew she was being interviewed so she told me to do what I do best and just embellish! WHAT? WHAT, me, embellish? OK -- I thought I’d tell my readers about the time Jeannie broke into the Whitehouse before it was popular to do so, and how she danced with the President - - but it never happened. Jeannie’s most memorable moments involve watching a child without the ability to speak give their parents a sign saying they were loved. She helped a kid without legs skateboard, she moved a family once in the freezing cold weather because they’d lost their power and their child, her student, couldn’t be without electricity -- I half way expected her to say her goals were world peace and for all the animals to find homes where they could be safe. I wanted to slap her! If all the goals and aspirations my best friend have weren’t true or weren’t real, I may have suddenly become a Cher fan too; but they are -- that is WHO she really is.

Jeannie has it all really. She may not know it, but she does. She is loved by her family, she has a good home, a good job, a really cute car, and a dog that thinks she bakes treats just for her. Oh, and she has a really super cool best friend who loves to watch football with her and text rude and inappropriate things every night - - she really is THAT cool.