Food Fairies vs. the Gnomes

In all the years I have been raising children I have also been lying to them endlessly regarding where their food comes from, and why it is that I actually still have every tooth that ever came out of their heads (tagged appropriately with dates, filed systematically in my important papers box next to their DNA kits). There is a reason: fairies. It is true - fairies bring my children unexpected food items from time to time, they pay handsomely for teeth, but they also have this little racket going where these same fairies have bribed me, literally holding my children's teeth ransom until I come up with the money they (the fairies) are out for being forced to pay higher costs for THESE particular teeth. Usually, as you know, fairies don't hoard the teeth, they sell them to sellers who recycle them or something - but the fairies in our lives always find me wanting - therefore, they charge me a little extra, making a little on the sides, but the good news is that I get to keep my children's broken, no-longer-worth-a-dime teeth (forever!).

Gnomes are a different story! Gnomes take and take and take. All they ever do around our gardens, or in our refrigerator - where they hang out often - is take the food that use to belong to a particular child. Here's how that works: Reuben would steal Laura's sandwich, place a gnome where the food once held residence, and let his sister find the gnome without her treat, and this was her clue (or que) to start the fight! She would then throw the soft rubber gnome across the room, sometimes hitting her brother, sometimes hitting the dog, often times simply smacking the gnome hard against the wall.

Seeing a gnome in the frig was an automatic bad sign. It ALWAYS meant that someone was going to be upset about a prepackaged piece of cake, perhaps left over Chinese, or that too-good-to-eat-all-at-once steak...GNOME! GONE! Everytime the gnome showed up I was expected to then call in the fairies. Fairies bring food back. Well, not the same bit of digested food, no it usually meant that I had to bribe the fairies to go out and get the food and then I'd have to take my car because fairies aren't licensed in our state to drive. It usually meant that I would be gone for a while, I would be out a bit of cash, and I would be inconvenienced to no end. Who in the hell thought up this method in the first place? I always seem to get the raw end of it!

The day Reuben left for the Army we stopped seeing the little red domed gnome in our cupboards and food never really disappeared again, so I have to assume that the United States Army allows them to enlist. They are REAL - I've seen them. I've witnessed their feats of theft! They DO exist. As do fairies, even though my children have actually never seen one - they believe me, and I believe me, so they have to be out there - right? I mean, the food reappears...sometimes in the same day.

The food fairies have a new assignment now that the girls are moving out - they will be called upon to KNOW what is in the apartment, and to KNOW whether or not they need to replenish the items that could be disappearing. Fairies never let children down, and even if it means I have to continue to drive these beasts to the store and probably end up paying for the replacement food items - I will still allow the fairies themselves to get the credit, because I feel in my heart that my children (who have always depended too much on me at times) should realize that there comes a time that they have to stand on their own! If a fairy wants to help, fine, let the fairy help a little, but they don't need to be crying on my shoulders just because one or the other of them finished off the last of the Silk Chocolate!

Gnome or no gnome, there must be fantasy rescues out there - otherwise we'd all be forced to face reality! Who wants that?

Thanks to the Firefighters Et Al.

Like the ones they call the "Finest" of every city, the BRAVEST of every city, our firefighters, are often the ones we hear about during these times of massive fires that get out of hand. Naturally, if we're being affected or not, we are all indebted to the men and women who day after day, minute after minute, place themselves on the line. We can't merely say thank you, it wouldn't be enough.

To think that all one can do is blog, or walk up to a random firefighter locally and say thank you just doesn't seem good enough. I know from experience that the firefighters in Oklahoma City sure had a tough and rugged job ahead of them on April 19, 1995 - we needed lots of help, and help came fast! When our towers fell, the first responders were again the bravest and the finest! Over and over our law enforcement and our firefighters seem to work side by side, hand in hand, often shoulder to shoulder to free us, help us, love us, and just protect us. OHHHH, it just makes me want to run up to the nearest fire house and make sure everyone of them is watched over too! There is something we can do - small, but good. We can go to our local houses, we can offer to sit and talk to the men and women who may need a shoulder to fall to sometimes. We don't think about that.

My good friend Jeannie suggested that we all run out and buy up the 2008 Firefighter calendars to show our support, but we do that every year just because! I want to make a bunch of cookies, I want to invite them all over for a cookout - they know how to fix it should I burn my backyard down. They're also pretty good with the burgers too - having sat across the street from a particular firehouse for years watching them play vollyball, cook steaks, and just hang out waiting for the alarm to sound. Sometimes they even invite me over to keep score! I like those days.

So, here's my hat tipping - OFF TO YOU Mr. and Ms. Firefighter of America! Not just the Southern California FFs because like us here in OKC, you were brave and smart enough to call in your brothers and sisters for help. The hats are all off for every dang one of you! ANDDDD, just as soon as the hats go back on the heads, let's take them off and tip them ONE MORE TIME for the administrators, the police officers, the officials, and the rescuers...anyone, everyone and don't forget the DOGS...always tip the dogs for their help. (I've said it before, you never see cats out there helping the firefighters, and you never seen the cats out on the beat with the cops either! NO, cats don't do much.) Thanks to the hard working, ever-so-wonderful and ever-so-endlessly-loving BRAVEST of the brave!

Thank you!

Me as an M & M

I may have (in the past) blogged about this already. I have something like 300 posts, so finding it may be hard. I wanted to do it again because I found it hilarious that after a year goes by and I get back on the site, that I haven't really changed anything about the avatar...I would add a cup of coffee I think. That's the only real change. If the little M&M had a Starbucks cup in her right hand, and she was watching a forensic show on her chocolate television...that would do it. That would say "JUDE" all over the place. This is me. Not as bronze now as I was in the summer, but I'm glowing.

I went to the M&M site and ordered personalized M&Ms to send to my kids right? Yes, I know, it's danged expensive, and a complete waste of money, but no one else is going to send them personalized M&Ms and I wanted to be the first to knock them over when they opened them this Thanksgiving. It's my birthday, I can spend the money any way I want to. I don't mind telling you what I had written on them because my kids never read my blog - never. I could say anything about them, I could tell their secrets, I could spill my guts about who they kissed, when, where, how, and they would never ever know it was me....probably. So, on the two color choices that you get when you go to the site, I picked a yellow gold color and a dark green. My color for my birth month of November (topaz) and green because my kids are all products of sex. Oh, did I say that? Out loud? On the web? It's true. I didn't find a single one of my children on my doorstep, or in a cabbage patch - no, I birthed them all.

I may have been persuaded to pick those particular colors because of our love for the Green Bay Packers, but hey - I have to tell the full truth from time to time if only to get the cobwebs out of the way when I pray. I want God to hear me. I had the following messages written on the back side of each M&M. On the gold: "I love my KIDS" and on the green: "Mom Rocks!" It's true. Both statements. I do rock, and my kids are the greatest kids I've ever made. Each with their own unique qualities - it would take every color and every shape of M&M to fully express myself to them, so I had to narrow it down and just be gutsy and bold. I LOVE MY KIDS and I ROCK....'nuf said.

The little avatar is so cute. She's got her headsets on, she's smirking - she's just been to Starbucks, she's fully loaded. All the chocolate in her body is a little soft, a little warm, she's gorgeous, and she's looking for a party to go dancing! Look at those shoes? She's sensible. She knows she'll be on her feet all night, moving and shaking - just being the little magical drop that she is. She knows that Peanuts and Crunchy M&Ms have been throwing a little RAVE down near the canisters in the kitchen. If she's lucky, she may meet up with a little St. Patrick's Green M&M. He'd be in camo pants, carrying a little chocolate bass. Maybe he'd have a ball cap on his head, words like: ROCK ON written on it - or maybe the Marines logo. He's patriotic that way. The two little M&Ms would then be able to salute the troops, sing the Star Spangled Banner at the end of the show, and go home happy....in their comfortable big open candy dispenser that seconds as a paperweight on the other side of the room to keep the mail in place.

I thought I saw a few Kisses coming into the scene tonight - Hersheys! They always crash the place. Leave their little tags and their aluminum foil scattered around, such a mess...and then they disappear. No one ever sees them again....

A Little Privacy Please, Thank You.

I was sitting in my office chair, legs folded, you know, office stuff - minding my own business, just about to start tapping when my boss comes in and expected me to work. Let me explain something to you: I work for a guy who sells insurance. I'm suppose to be his Customer Service Representative, but he doesn't pay as well as most employers so from time to time I do my own thing - this was one of those times.

Everytime he comes into the office and catches me with the lights out, the candles on, and the chair turned around he thinks I'm goofing off - he doesn't understand the whole - "You get what you pay for" concept. I tried to explain it to him last month, he fired me, I laughed - and well, I'm still there, he's still not paying well, and I'm still doing my thing when I need to. I digress, let me get back to the tapping thing. I was just about to tap but he interrupted me. Then, because he's a bit scared of me at times, he asked me to tap some place else - his suggestion was the bathroom. I took up my candle and left. I use a candle because I like the smell of it, I'm not weird or anything.

When I came back - maybe in 6 minutes - he wants to know if I was praying for him too, because apparently he believes in me, and what I'm able to do with the prayers an the tapping, but it freaks him out to see it. I explained to him that YES, I was praying for him, and that he should receive money from unexpected places very soon. This is the funny part: The second the words left my mouth his cell rang and he answered it. He stared at me. He just pointed at the door, told me to leave and kept staring at me. I picked up my candle and went back to the bathroom laughing. He soon followed me, knocking on the door within seconds.

"Get out here!" He said - get out here now! Seems he was given a couple of bonuses he wasn't expecting from insured who had filed online without using his services, but since they were his clients he got the residuals - something like $1300, and he wasn't expecting it whatsoever - it just ....well, it just happened. I had to smile, I mean, tapping really really really does work, and why not use it to make your boss freak out? I think it's fun - he's not complaining (much) and he asked me to tap again this time for the pickup truck he wants to get. OK...I can't resist a good challenge. I'm have to inform you the reader if and when he gets it.

What I did today after that was to make myself a little happy chart - I listed all the places I wanted to go, all the people I wanted to meet, all the money I wanted to make (for now) and all the things I wanted to do (for now). Sort of like a check off list, and it gives me something to focus on when I'm talking to the universe, to God, and to my soul - because you can't help but question and ask your soul when you do this - it's a must. You have to be in tune with yourself. One thing I noted when I was tapping was that the pressure points hurt a little less when I tap now, they're becoming more receptive to the fact that I'm receptive. I'm opening my heart up and my spirit up to receive good things - keeping negative out.

I did actually manage to do a little work today too. I made the calls, ran the quotes, answered the questions from clients calling in with complaints and/or needs - but all I needed to keep my boss at arm's length was to pick up my little candle and pretend to thrust it at him - he spooks easier than most; and that makes me smile. Scaredy-cat!

No Yellow Dog Democrats Here!

For several years and now a couple of presidential campaigns, members of the Democrat party have been calling me and asking me to allow them to take Faith's image for their benefits, their functions, their causes - No Thanks! Faith, although she has never actually proclaimed it out loud, is not a Yellow Dog Democrat. She is however, a yellow dog. She's one of the most talked about yellow dogs in the world, so yes, I can see where the Dems would want her image or picture associated with their needs. We turned the Kerrys down, and now we have had the privilege to turn a couple of locals and another presidential candidate, or would be candidate down. Where are my Republicans? Ask! Come On! ASK!

Faith loves to make a stand, in fact, she stands a great deal of the time. Let's see what she would believe in if she were running for office. More meat on every table and in every dish. More time to sleep. More loud rock n' roll music, because believe it or not she loves that. When Faith traveled with Brown Gravy's Brothers Grim Side Show this summer with Ozzfest she met up with some great (really loud) bands who just loved having her on their stage and backstage. She was the hit of the tour for sure. Laura was rather cute too mind you, but we all know it's the dog they come out to see. I'm used to it. No one ever really remembers my name - I say it's "Jude, as in Hey Jude", but they don't remember. They love my little mutt! As they should.

So, from TV and radio talk show hosts, the Glenn Becks, Rush Limbaughs, and all the other right wingers out there - Where is Cobert? Hey, call me!! We need to have a few more Blue States calling and asking for the yellow dog! She could be the happiest, tongue-waggingiest, jump-up-and-make-them-pay-attentionist campaigner you ever saw! She could bring the votes in people.....oh, and she's got a great platform to go on too - LOVE. She shares it with everyone she sees. From our Armed Forces to the children we meet on every corner of every city we visit - she loves them all - what a great backer to have in your corner...or under your bed. I'm often asked what the most famous dog in the world does all day - you'd be surprised. Suffice it to say - she's a dog.

Top 10 Cities to Live in? Us?

Wow! Imagine my surprise today when I read that Forbes.com had named Oklahoma City as well as Tulsa,Oklahoma to their Top 10 list of cities to move to for business! I'm moving OUT of Oklahoma City for the same reason, you can't get anywhere in this town! I mean, it's a great state, it's a wonderful city, but work? No, there's not much of that anywhere - - not that leads to prosperity. I suppose if you're looking to stay at the poverty level it's a great place to hover. I know hundreds of people doing that. I'm still hovering around it myself for the time being - but that's the entire reason behind picking up the leftovers and heading to Chicago! Surviving is a great way to spend a few of the youthful years, but no thank you for the middle ages or the retirement ages. I'll take wealth, establishment, and what do that call that? Oh, I remember - success!

There are some things I will never give up when I move to Chicago (or if I moved to any other place)for instance: I will ALWAYS be a Sooner fan. I will always call myself an Okie, I will be proud forever and a day of the fact that I was born and raised here, in the heartland, and with the moral codes and the work ethics that I believe this state and it's good people instill in a person; however, money? No, not so much. Not so much in the way of education either - number 47 I think. Teen pregnancies? We top the list, we are #1 in that, in meth-labs, and we can't forget the divorce rate. I'm a part of that stat, but only once, I've known people who have helped those numbers out quite a few times. (And yes, with divorce rates being so high so is the bankruptcy rate.) Our great state is a great state, but Forbes must have been thinking of Boulder, Austin, even Joplin, but I can't see Oklahoma City as being anywhere NEAR the top 100 in terms of growing income. Wait, I take that back - my daughter got a raise last week. She's now making $5.70 an hour rather than minimum wage.

Tulsa made the list too, and where that makes a bit more sense, I still don't believe it. Now, give me something I can believe in when it comes to Oklahoma being the best, the Top 10 material so to speak: Country Western singers - yes! I believe that. We have Garth, Reba, Toby, Carrie, and Vince. What about beef? You betcha! I'll go for cattle producers and wheat producers! I'll even throw in sod, we have amazing sod, God's sod in fact! Quite possibly, Oklahoma is the best state in the nation when it comes to friendly, openly honest folks who greet you on the street with a smile, a wave of the hand and even a question or two to make you feel welcomed....that I get, but we don't have a growing income people, we don't have the commerce you may have been led to believe. Chesapeake does...OU and OSU have money, sure, and there are actually more millionaires per capita, but they're holding on tight to what they have - believe me, if it were true we'd all be singing a different tune when it comes to buying the books our kids need for school, or the buses we need to take these kids to and from classes. I wish it were so.

Well, let Forbes talk! We can use the advertising. Perhaps some people will take heart, move a professional baseball, basketball or soccer team to our state and really make a difference. I'd say football, but with the Sooners picking up that lack we don't need another team to fill up the seats of any new stadium - Boomer Sooner! We got that!

Congrats fellow Okies - who knew! Break out the mismatched tumblers, the plastic dishes and the lard - looks like we're gonna get some company real soon with all those nice folks comin' by to check out our growing incomes. Ya'all come back now, ya hear!

Ranger Reuben! (It's All My Fault)

YES! It is all my fault, and I take full and utter responsibility. Reuben was only 3 when we were in a store and he wanted me to buy him a little toy tank. My fault. I bought it for him. He was the typical kid, he ran around pretending all the time, but as he grew up it became apparent that my son was obsessed with war and warfare. He used war lingo, and war jargon at age 6. When I grounded him to his room once he took out pencils from his little camo backpack and drew an entire audience. Now I know they were more than likely his platoon! He spoke to the walls, he talked to the men he drew (no women) and he made definite plans with them to take over the stuffed animals in the closet! That must have been the first time I saw what he would become famous for in our house - destroying stuffed bears! Look at him now, he's still trying to take on bear! This one is bronze son, bronze - give it up!

When I was late coming home from work once, and it was just Reu and I living at home, he had kept himself busy by redesigning my living quarters to match that of the battle of Gettysburg. I couldn't step anywhere without fear of changing history! In the 7th grade and 8th grades my son was a ceramic doll maker in creative arts class - don't laugh, he made Civil War heroes to scale. It's my fault, I started this; I must now accept it when he calls me all excited to tell me that WITH HIS BROKEN ARM he was still able to pass the tests that will guarantee him a try out for the Rangers! He qualified for the top ranks in shooting with a messed up right elbow! Now, the only thing I worry about is him getting behind enemy lines without a compass - and of course, if he has a compass there will need to be someone to explain the N,S,E,and W on it, because where he's the best at driving tanks, shooting targets, and sneaking into areas on recon - directions are out of the question. Hopefully the Army will take the time to do a bit more one-on-one with the boy before he actually takes on the country they set him down in.

This afternoon when he called me to tell me he had qualified I couldn't understand a single word out of his mouth - it was moving a million miles a minute, he was jumping, hopping, screaming, laughing, and just being the Reuben that I remember after a win on the football field where he had a personal best day! I missed that sound actually, and since I knew he wasn't wearing his #63 Pirates jersey today, I had to ask him at least 3 separate times to slow it down, say it again, OK....say it one more time. "Mom, I'm going to be a Ranger!" Can't tell you how proud of that boy I am. Seriously, he's going to be the best dang Ranger in the U.S. Army because he's been practicing for over 18 years for this. General George Custer could have used that boy in the day! Congratulations Baby Boy!

There was that one person who wasn't all that thrilled with the news - his grandma. She said she wouldn't want it, it was too dangerous, that the Rangers get all the hard and tough assignments - - my answer to my mother was this: Yes, he will be in the mix, and he will be called upon to do somethings that others wouldn't be able to do. He'll go in places, see things, do things, and be on his guard 24/7/365 - but - "my God is an awesome God, He reigns from Heaven above - He rules with Wisdom, Power and Love, my God is an awesome God!" How can I possibly ask that Reuben be held back -no, sorry Mom, not this boy - he is destined to be Ranger Reuben. Hooah!

Mom & Mutts - Terrible People They Are!

This is seriously wrong. By wrong I mean WRONG - Mom & Mutts (despite words on their contract to the contrary) have NO RIGHT to remove the puppy that Ellen brought to her very trusted friend. Ellen's comment regarding the purpose for the rescue organizations is correct - they are there to be certain that dogs and cats are found good homes. This particular story hits so close to home for me, I have adopted a dog and because of the contract I was forced to sign, my dog Matrix wasn't guaranteed. Because he wasn't guaranteed (replaced if he died within a year) I was free to give him to another good family when the time came for me to do so. That family let him out in the cold to fend for himself without calling me to retrieve him. I had no idea, not until a good man, a Captain in the Air Force, called me to say he had found my Matrix. He was willing to drive him back to me. Because I was still unable to take care of him I told the Captain that he could have Matrix, but before I did I questioned him, I prayed with him, and I explained to him all of the small eccentric behaviors that I remembered the dog had. He agreed to take care of my mutt, and I was pleased.

When the Captain was given orders to leave the states he took Matrix right back to the original adoption agency. (Oh, something I didn't tell you about the adoption agency is this: they made me pay for my dog, but wouldn't guarantee him. In essence they were saying if he dies he dies, but we still want our money. The only problem I had with this arrangement, is that I had paid for a dog earlier in the day, but it had been given away - to someone with a similar name. My money was not returned (credit card), no apology was offered, but I was encouraged to pick out another dog.) The dog I picked, though perfect to me, was unhealthy. I had to promise the adoption agency who actually threatened me a number of times, that I would take Matrix to their vet - she ended up being mine too, so that was cool. They made me swear on paper that I would have Matrix neutered, which I did. It was all about the agency and their rules - but I understood, they wanted a good family to adopt their dogs and cats. I was (at the time I adopted Matrix) in a home with a fence, we had a couple of cats, but the kids wanted a dog. We were perfect. When the woman that actually owned our house decided to sell, but not to us, we were forced to move immediately, and she wasn't interested in our pet problem, as she put it.

As I mentioned, the Captain took Matrix back to the adoption center. They looked up his papers from his tag registration - no doubt they saw that he had been paid for, but not guaranteed. The agency did what the agency did time and time again; resold my dog! What the agency didn't understand however, was that the dog, my dog, Matrix, could out-eccentric any dog out there. He was returned, replaced, and readopted more than 3 times...and every time he was brought right back to the agency with more complaints. NOT ONCE did the agency try to contact me. The Captain found me easily enough - I lived in the area! They just readopted him and never considered his feelings, his needs, or his behaviors, they just wanted to get rid of a dog without a guarantee...bad for business.

On July 27, 2001, I won custody of my daughters full time, permanently, forever - when I asked them what they wanted, they only wanted to walk dogs, bathe dogs, feed dogs, and just hug the kittens at the agency - I said yes. Can you imagine our surprise when we saw our dog? He was there! Our Matrix. Of course, we had no idea what all he had been through - not until one of the workers told us (after she had been fired for letting a family have a dog for free). Matrix came home with me that day - and no, I didn't pay for him again. It was soooo ugly. I had to threaten, force, yell, complain, and even drop my attorney's name before they finally let us have him. I made them prove that he was guaranteed, which they couldn't. Technically he was still MY dog, they weren't allowed to sell or adopt him over and over again.

My point is simple - the Mom & Mutt idiots need to do the right thing. The right thing! Not the contractual thing, not the "I'm so right I have the right" type thing. The right thing - every time! Give the dog back to the girls who Ellen chose. They come from a good home, from good and trusted people. Ellen (one of the premier dog lovers on the earth)made a good judgement - her dog, her right. If Mom & Mutts continues to make these types of negative and terrible decisions, they will give the rescue agencies that are good a bad reputation; and all because they had a piece of paper that said they could - shame on them! SHAME.

When Faith and I go around the country now to promote rescue organizations, humane societies and dog loving groups - we don't need to be associated with people like Moms & Mutts; we won't be - not until the real beasts are replaced: GUARANTEED!

LOOOOOOKK! My condo is being built! I went to Chicago this weekend for a trade show, but while I was there I managed to talk my friends into driving me to Lincoln Park to stare up at my unfinished condo! I do that. I can totally see it in completed form in my head. I can walk through it's halls. I can feel the hardwood floor that I picked out, and touch the granite cabinets in my dreams. I can see the mail sitting on the end of the kitchen cabinet, just waiting for me to open it. I can smell the burning soy candles over the fireplace, the stew in the kettle, and I can almost, just almost see the neighbor on the other side of the building putting on his shirt - - wait, he's hot! I knew I bought the condo with the ceiling to floor windows for a reason!

What a beautiful building the Emerald is. I couldn't have picked a better place. I even took the time to go to the Walgreens on Halstead, just in front of my Emerald, and I met my clerk. I went to Starbucks in Dominicks and I met my staff. I went down the street and visited Steppenwolf - soon I'll be going to shows. I absolutely love the neighborhood: Patagonia, Harpo, Home Depot, Dublin Pub, the Black Duck restaurant! Oh, I am so in love. I can't wait for April, but it may have to be August. Marilyn and I (Emerald rep) discussed the layouts, the plans, the furnishings, the floors, the tile, the ceramics, even the fact that she will be buying me a new Magnifica coffee maker so I don't have to freeze in February to get to Starbucks. The Emerald doesn't have a secret back exit leading onto Halstead and I would literally have to walk a city block if I wanted (had to have) coffee in the mornings. She's always looking out for me. LOVE the Emerald!

Today they are having their soiree and I can't make it. Although, I would love to have been there because ALSO today Van Halen is in concert at the AllState Arena....that would have been fun to meet up with Alex after 24 years to see how we've both aged. At least he's still a rock star - but wait, I'm still a writer! See, nothing changes. We're still gorgeous and beautiful, we're still kicking, and from what I have seen he's in great shape! Way to go Alex!

The Emerald will be my home soon, but until that day I'll have to settle for visiting the construction site, taking pictures of the empty walls, the progress of the first tower - my tower is the north tower, and I'll think great productive thoughts from the bottom of my heart and soul. I sip my coffee, tip my hat, and dream of the day I'll crank the stereo with Buble crooning to me while I gaze over the magnificent Chicago downtown skyline. Soon.

My Dog is Such a Rockstar!

From time to time we'll be in an airport somewhere and run into a real live rock star who recognizes another rock star, my dog Faith. Faith has been privileged to have toured with Ozzfest, she's met with such wonderful musicians as Rick Springfield, Michael Bolton, From First to Last, Fall Out Boy, Three Inches of Blood, Static X and so many others. She's always loved on by these bands and their staff. Sometimes she's even asked to come on stage and make an appearance. That's always fun because the applause is so deafening that the band has to make a decision whether or not to hire Faith for the rest of the tour! She's THAT loved by people who see her.

We were in the Oklahoma City Will Rogers Airport the other day making our way to Chicago, when one of our own very very very special rock stars came up to me and said hello. I asked him for his picture because we live so close to each other and never get around to taking the shots! We have to be on the road to see each other; I find that funny. Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips could not be more handsome. He could not be more energetic, and he could not have found a more beautiful, fantastically wonderful wife! Michelle is a rock star in her own right! Look at them! They're gorgeous! Faith ain't bad either, and we are so happy to be neighbors to such great and talented people as the Coynes. (I say neighbor, it's more like community fellows. We share a Borders Bookstore at times.)

Wouldn't it be great to see Faith in a Flaming Lips video? With her unique qualifications I personally believe she would add so much to one of their shows - perfectly equipped she is, she's quirky, fun-loving, a little scruffy and all in all she's the best down-to-earth dog I've ever met. She loves just about everyone, and the Lips are that genuine too. Well, being from OKC you'd expect that, right? Hey Wayne, have your people call my people, and while they're figuring out the next gig you, Michelle, me and of course the girls (Laura & Caity) can have a coffee at Borders to discuss you letting Caity be your new fashion designer and Laura wants to sing back up for the band! C'mon Wayne - they don't bite (often).

Love to you guys, the Lips, the rest of you beautiful rockers out there who have and haven't seen Faith. You will - it's just a matter of time. She gets around.