Farewell Dear Edmond!

It may be a bit premature at this point to say goodbye to my adoptive city of Edmond, Oklahoma, but it looks and feels like we will soon be calling Florida or perhaps Texas home in just a very short while.

Edmond, Oklahoma, as you can see on this highly sophisticated map drawing is located JUST above the great city of Oklahoma City, where I was born. Growing up I was privileged to call Bethany, Oklahoma my home. Bethany, like Edmond, is a little suburb of the City, but situated to the west. Both Edmond and Bethany are college towns, hosting the University of Central Oklahoma in E-town, and Southern Nazerene University in Bethany. Education was always surrounding me, still is, and I hope it never disappears completely...when given an option, I typically choose to office or hang out at a university rather than a regular library, coffee house, or even a bookstore. There's just so much learning going on most of the time - whether the students are actually aware of it happening or not.

Today we decided to visit as many Edmond officers and firefighters as we could, just incase we don't get the chance to do so before we leave. One of the greatest assets a city has is its fire department and its police department. The strength of any great city depends on their men and women who are dedicated to help support, strengthen, protect, and service the citizens of the township/county involved. We thank them all. Today the firefighters at Edmond were playing volleyball outside in 90 degree weather, sweating, and just basically passing the time - when suddenly out of nowhere a little two-legged dog decided to come out to play! They were the most gracious of hosts, even finding some left over bacon and eggs from this morning's breakfast - the police have yet to be so serving! LOL

If I had a million dollars and could live where I wanted to live, travel out of the city (OKC) without problems, and maintain the position I have to have with the new employment I am seeking - I would remain in my fare city of Edmond. The trails, ponds, parks, and paths alone are among the most beautiful in the southwest - not to mention the taxes are rather low, the shopkeepers friendly, and get this....8 Starbucks! Yes, we have 8 Starbucks in the surrounding area, and that simply can't be said for the city I'm thinking of moving to. I swear if I have to drive more than 3 miles to get my coffee I'll be moving back for that reason alone! How do they live without the green mermaid busting out in the Orlando area? It boggles my mind!

The City of Edmond, like most big-small towns is full of life, laughter, loving, and learning. I mentioned the university, but there is open air theatre, museums, typical big and small restaurants, mom-and-pop downtown shops as diversified as the history of Edmond, itself. 100+ years ago this area was known as Indian Territory, opening its doors to the city with residents living in tents and staking their 160 acres of free land during the run of the Unassigned Land in 1889. 1907 found Edmond a part of the nation's fastest growing population - the train helped of course, as did the natural wildlife with streams, creeks and lakes abounding. It's still one of the most sought out cities in terms of residential growth - blue ribbon schools, fantastic academic and athletic tributes make up Edmond. (Oh, and Shannon Miller is from Edmond, the most decorated gymnast in the world!)

We'll certainly miss our city soon, but will return as often as we can - I'll probably have to give up my post office box, and I won't be able to stop by the university library to give Melody Jackson and her staff a bad time, but I'll keep them in my heart forever - if Edmond has a motto I don't know it, but if I had to write one for the city it would be :Family, Friends, and Fair Living - Keep it Green! Edmond's University of Central Oklahoma was voted as one of the nation's TOP 10 universities for supporting a greener way of living - it's just a better way when you can.

Thanks Edmond.

Casting My Vote for the Bird!

Today is the last day to vote for the quarter that will represent the state of Oklahoma. I was hoping our coin would come out in 2007, marking our 100th year as a state, but it didn't happen. I was also hoping that we would have the bird, the banded (collared) lizard, the bison, mistletoe, and redbud tree on the coin...at least we got the bird. (Maybe, it's in the 5 top final choices)

I voted for the bird!

Every other coin finalist (besides hosting oil wells, peace pipes and the state itself) has a replica of a 1930's statue of the Pioneer Woman walking briskly through the meadow with her son by the hand. She's carrying a book, that the scultor in 1930 described as a Bible. OK, so what, it's a Bible. The woman is a Christian, probably going to service, and taking her kid with her...we do that sort of thing still in Oklahoma, but the controversy over it has been so ridiculous it begs the question: Why would you NOT want the woman with the Bible, but you don't mind the Indian's peace pipe, which we're sure held illegal substances at one point? Stupid question? I don't think so - the bird at least CAN'T be questioned...it's OUR bird. The Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher.

I say - GIVE THEM THE BIRD! It would be best actually to show the Land Run of the Unassigned Lands of 1889 - or a Sooner Wagon with a big fat OU right in the middle of it, but then the Cowboy fans of O-State would have to complain. Oh, hey - we could have a tornado taking out a trailer park, or perhaps a dust storm displacing families - that happens here too; but I guess something pleasant is the goal - afterall, we would like to clean up our image just a tad from time to time. Our state motto should be changed if we're thinking of cleaning up the act. "Oklahoma is OK" seems a bit - well, average or underachieved.

(Quiet! At least we didn't vote the coin in that depicted the pregnant teenage girl standing OUTSIDE the school house cooking meth. That was literally a suggestion by one of the art teachers of a public school - his way of protesting our policies toward pregnant students. But again, not the image of the state that should be remembered. AGAIN, I say - GIVE THEM THE BIRD!) Good Luck little guy!

Me, Hosting the VIEW

I had JUST finished my blog about praying for Rosie, when several e-mails flooded in asking me if I would be interested in being the next host on the show The View! None of these e-mails came from ABC or Ms. Walters, mind you, but I had to laugh - I'm available! I'm not working right now, and yes, I guess I wouldn't mind being on the show if my opinions weren't thrown out the door immediately upon interviewing me for the position.

I can't help but think that my moderate to conservative side would expose itself from time to time - talk about controversy...in today's world of television it isn't always the left wingest getting the evil-eye from the sponsors or the producers, but rather the Glenn Becks of the world; well, the Jude Stringfellows of the world for that matter. Glenn and I DO see eye-to-eye, and he's been called twisted, freakish, paranoid, stupid, and all sorts of things by the lefties....I crunch my evening cereal, drink down my green tea in his honor and usually end up shouting "Hell yeah!" everytime he makes a point - well, nearly everytime. I save a little of the enthusiasm for Nancy Grace when she throws the book at a judge for making a bad call from the bench!

Sure, go ahead and hire me Ms. Walters - I actually have a really good head on my shoulders, I can even correct the spelling and the writings of the producers and/or show lords before the taping to be sure all connotations and antecedents are in the right place! Hey, I can review movies from the stand point of someone who hides her eyes during certain scenes of CSI. I can report on the spiritual aspects, agree with Elizabeth more than most, and put in a good word for Dr. Phil, because he and I are on the same page when it comes to depression, working through issues of anger, raising teens to do what we say - and oh, I have a MySpace! I do, I really do, and because of that I'm cool - sure, hire me.

I double-dog dare you!

Speaking of DOGS...I could bring mine. That would be both inspiring and interesting. If I can help make a dog walk upright, showing the love, compassion, and determination it takes to do that sort of thing - I bet I could answer a few questions, throw in my opinion, and bring up the ratings - at least make it a bit more even in terms of demographics. You'd bring in a whole new audience to VIEW The VIEW.

Call me, we'll do Starbucks! My agent is Mike Maguire (571) 215-1147

The Difference: Rich and Famous

I was in the Orlando International Airport yesterday with my dog Faith. Without a doubt we were noticed. It's hard not to notice a skipping two-legged dog off her leash; tongue wagging, sporting a vivid orange vest. She was captivating. She was mesmerizing. She was INSPIRING. One other thing you may have deduced from realizing that I'm the owner of Faith the Two-Legged Dog, is that Faith is well, really very famous.

One of the more interesting (and almost natural) assumptions that the general public makes when they think of fame, is to relate it, associate it, and even assume it accompanies the word "rich". This is NOT always the case. To be perfectly humble about it - we're not. I remember thinking to myself, and whispering to Faith "You know, you should be in movies!" She shows off well enough - she delights, spins, dances, she even sneezes in a very interesting way - she really should be entertaining the masses. To put it bluntly, that would solve a few situations I find myself in. I've literally had to give up work to continue showing her talents off, and it's created a velvet monster. On one hand I desperately want to do this. I want to go to military stations, hospitals, schools, and libraries to give speeches and to let Faith's message and mission be heard. She deserves to be held, loved, petted, talked about, and found to be the inspiration that she is...but there's always that other hand, isn't there?

Yes, there most certainly is a difference between the word "rich" and the word "famous". It's almost like comparing the words "education" and "employment"! They do not always go together well - another thing I would like to see change in my life. Being an unemployed educator means I have little to fall back on in terms of finances - which has been OK, until this week that is. However, there is HOPE...as well as FAITH. The light at the end of the tunnel is glowing and growing - it just might take a little time to spark, that's all.

No matter the situation there are two very keen points I hope to drive home today: The first being that being without money, funds, or capital does not make one poor . I don't have any reason to call myself rich, but there is also an equal reason, if not a more substantial reason to never consider myself poor - because the damning connotation of that word would purport not only am I without hope, but that I am without drive - I have drive. I will survive this lull. My second point is: This too shall pass. Yes, I got that phrase from the Bible, but it's a good one. The fact that all things are known and all things work together for good for them who not only love the Lord, but for those who are called to His purpose - it gives me great promise to know...this too, will pass.

So, when you see me in the airports, and/or you see me on the streets of NYC...whether I'm dressed to speak for thousands, or wearing my camo pants and probably some rock n' roll t-shirt - looking for a Starbucks, please come up to me and say hello. Tell me you're doing OK, and that you have been where I am, perhaps you're there now. We can pray for each other, we can encourage each other - and with a little FAITH, we can do this slump thing - with grace.

When it rains - There's a TORNADO!

I don't think I have ever - I mean ever - been in such a situation. I won't say it's a mess, I won't say it's a tragedy, it's a strange, and unfortunate situation. About 2 months ago my dog Faith was lost on an American Airlines flight. We were suppose to BOTH end up in Orlando, Florida but that didn't happen. I remember the day specifically because Homeland Security issued an ORANGE alert in the nation's airports, and all things non-human were to be stored under the cabin in cargo - OOPS. That was the first mistake. Faith was shipped somewhere - probably Chicago, but I went to Orlando.

Because of the mistake, American wanted to make it up to us. They issued a statement of apology to me of course, provided a voucher for free flight, allowed us to sit in First Class on our return trip, hosted us at the Admiral's Club for over 24 hours I think when the weather didn't allow us to return home - and then they decided to make a mandate that we always fly First Class - sounds great doesn't it? NOT. When they forced us to fly First Class we (Faith and I) lost several military gigs as well as other paying gigs due to the fact that the hosts were unable to pay the difference between the Coach fares and the First Class fares - think about it, would YOU or your company prefer Coach or First Class. Hosts have budgets to work with.

So, having lost over $8000 in would-be pay, and NOW my book deal, my precious-I-was-totally-counting-on-you book deal falling through (Thanks to a particular agent who will go unnamed) I have found myself unable to even pay my rent and bills - NO, I'm serious. Our savings have been rocked, we had family issues to deal with between January and March as well as taxes from last year to pay - we're being kicked out of our house this week. So, when it rains - sometimes it can cause a tornado.

Here's the really cool part - I'm OK.

I decided to let it go, let God have the reins and just do what I do best, and that's to work at the problem rather than cry over it again, or to get myself all worked up. No good ever comes from beating yourself up -whether it's your fault or not. I have to let it go. I can't control it, I can't really fix it alone, I can't make it better without help. I just have to see what happens to us - but I know that WITH A LITTLE FAITH (title of my book, great plug huh?) I'll be able to say that all will be well. It has to be, there are no options. I can't believe that it won't be OK...it must be fixed, therefore, I will wait for God to show me what to do. If He lets me, I'll be a part of the solution, I probably need to be.

I went to Brevard and Seminole Counties in Florida this week to give two keynote speeches for lawmakers, victims advocates, peacekeepers, and the wonder families and victims of violent crime. The topic of my speeches was accepting the situation, empowering yourself through others, and being available for others when you have the ability to do so. I got the idea from my dog Faith. She accepted her situation immediately, she didn't deny she was a dog in trouble. She needed help and when it came time to ask for it, she used her eyes - she couldn't speak. When we helped her, we helped ourselves. Now, we're reaching out, and we're hoping to both receive love and give it. We need prayer, and we need work.

If you have a need for a public speaker, a Ph.D. in Administration, perhaps an administrator in your office, corporation or just someone to train your employees - call me. I am absolutely available. I would prefer full time and permanent work, and believe it or not, we're not as expensive as you may be thinking. My agent is Mike Maguire, and he is handling any and all calls. His number is: 571-215-1147 You can also e-mail me at: faith@faiththedog.net.

Wow, it just feels GREAT beyond my expectations even, to know that people love God, they love my dog, they love helping - and the fact that I can reach out makes me that much more motivated to help when it's my turn to do so again. Let it rain - I know the Rainmaker!

Yankee Candles Should Hire Me!

There I was, minding my own business, (which is what I do) and my candle burned out on me. OUT-GONE, no more! The problem is that it wasn't to the point that is was suppose to stop. I tried lighting it, and lighting it, but it didn't take. There was something around the wick....some sort of a boot, sock, something protecting the wick - and by protection I mean the boot thing didn't want fire around the wick any longer!

I took the initative to use the Yankee Candle website www.yankeecandle.com, just incase you were having doubts about what that site might actually be. I wrote to customer service to ask questions, more or less to explain my concern for future purchases, but the answers I received wasn't really as helpful as I had hoped. Yankee Candle kept asking me to return the candles for a full refund or exchange!

To be honest the candle (actually there were 2) were almost gone, so I didn't feel as if a full refund or exchange was fair, I was really just wanting to talk with them about why they would choose to protect their wicks more than 1/2 an inch from the bottom if the warning label instructed me to only burn to that point? Just a question...just a simple, no hassle question -- but nothing ever really works out to be as simple as you think. Yankee Candle's customer service was insistant...they wanted to replace the entire lot! They were FORCING me to take the candles to the nearest location and get NEW candles - I argued of course, as this seemed out of context, completely unprofessional and out of the realm of what business-as-usual has been in the past.

Yankee Candle's Quail Spring Mall's store was the nearly location to my home in Edmond, Oklahoma so I took my nearly burned to the end candles to show the good ladies that work in the store what I was talking about - I argued again when they insisted that I exchange my candles for new replacements - I felt like an idiot returning 95% burned candles for 100% newly unburned, unmolested candles - and get this....MISTY told me I could pick any scent I wanted. I didn't have to take home the Lavender Sage Swirl scent again. I could have ....anything! Brenda wasn't much help either - she smiled the whole time, said really nice things to me, she was helping YANKEE CANDLE's clean, unspoiled, and seemingly perfectly genuine reputation...she stood there nodding, smiling, and being all pretty! Misty even wrapped my new scented candles and put them in a new bag!

No, Yankee Candles is losing too much money! They simply have to hire me. I could do some really good recovery for them. When a customer called or came in to exchange a candle I could refuse them access - I could ask if they enjoyed the time they had with the candle, I could ask them if they felt that bringing me an old, dirty, ugly, worn out candle in exchange for a new, preciously perfect one was fair - or if it was even conceivable that a person of integrity could assume such a position in life that they would ever expect a bonafide giant corporation to bow to their every whim or need...just because a customer isn't satisfied, is that any reason to give them what they want? Yankee Candles thinks so!

Fine! Fine! You go right ahead with your smiling, your helping, your in-your-face customer service come-again type of attitude girls...see if I come back! (Actually...I probably will, I felt rather important.) Thanks.

Embrace Your Tomboy!

I am SO NOT a Victoria's Secret Model.

To be perfectly honest with everyone reading my blogs - I am a Tomboy. I looked it up to be sure, because as years go by the meanings of certain words take on new life, and I didn't want to mislead anyone. I threw the picture of Scout up on the blog (To Kill a Mockingbird) for two reasons. The first is: She's the epitome of what a Tomboy is, and second: I'm a professor of English, and the book is awesome!

Tomboys don't necessarily look bad in Victoria Secret nightwear, don't get me wrong - but we don't wiggle and shimmy quite as smoothly perhaps when we do. We're more apt to pounce, and maybe go looking for the good stuff - you may find yourself in a bit of a wrestling match that you thought for sure you had the upper hand in, but now you're not so confident about it - and it really doesn't matter anyway! Tomboys are the girls that find frogs, snakes, rocks, and cars attractive - maybe even want to sleep outside with you, or take the last piece of pizza when you were going for it. It's for sure THIS Tomboy will be wearing a red and white jersey and jeans on game day and screaming louder than you are at the TV set - and cussing out anyone daring to put a play over on the Sooners!

What may or may not be immediately understood about Tomboys is that we're not all mean, hard-nosed girl-haters. We don't always have only boys as friends - and we don't always fix engines; though some of us do. I can handle a VW fixer-up, but leave the rest to my brothers Mike. (I have 2) I'm the type of Tomboy that loves to shop, but I might buy more masculine colored comforters, Levi's over 575 jeans, and I'll for sure get a sandlewood or sage scented candle over something fruity or floral - on the same hand...I'll buy sandlewood or cinnamon oils to bathe in, because it attracts men rather than women. (Ohhh, a little pheromone secret.)

Tomboys have the best of both worlds if you ask me - we can play with the boys, and we can PLAY with the boys - we can watch any and all sports, we can bet, gamble, beat you at chess and not blink - we can eat faster, wear less makeup, take much shorter time getting ready, and when we are ready there's just something natural about us - I like it. Saves me from having to buy that Vera Wang and have it special ordered so that no one else is wearing it. Because I don't care - if we were all wearing the same exact dress I'd still be ME.

Yes, embrace your inner Tomboy - a word that's been around since the 16th Century describing girls whose gender roles have been transformed to include the behaviors generally accepted in society of their male counterparts, however, maintaining their feminine distinction. That's me...(she smiles her pyrate smile, and keeps the slimey turtle she just caught hidden behind her torn out jeans, all the while accepting your invitation to accompany you to the Governor's Ball tomorrow night.) SMILE.

Wile E. Coyote Goes Army!

This will make my son laugh.

When I was growing up I had all the same problems as Wile E. Coyote. I had goals within my site, I went all out for them - BAM! I got blown up nearly every single time. Something (usually lack of money) got in the way of my well laid out plan. (Of Mice and Men) You'd think that after 45 years of fighting myself, the world, and the unknown I would have lost some of my edge - but something just keeps me sharpened. I keep trying to get there, to do it... to succeed. I'm going to get that BIRD.

My son is in the Army you know, he'll understand the point of this very cute cartoon from Mark Parisi - the new defense uniforms for the men and women in Iraq could very well benefit from the ultimate in survival gear - you may get a head ache, a black eye, you may spin around on your heels awhile, and see tweety-birds circling your head - but believe me, you take a massive explosion and a 400 ft drop in a one of these babies and you'll be glad you were wearing it!

Reuben called me last night again, 2:12 a.m., about the average for him - he says it'll be closer to 5:05 a.m. when he's in Iraq - but nevertheless, he called me to tell me that YES, he was dead last in the navigation practices, and NO he didn't get to play any reindeer games because of it - HOWEVER, due to his 8 speeding tickets just prior to swearing in, and the way he out runs his opponents on the simulators and again in person on the new muddy gridiron he personally created there in Fairbanks, AK - he's been chosen to drive the CO in the Stryker that God created him to drive. Who needs to navigate when the CO is giving the orders? All he has to do is say "Yes Col. and No Col." at the appropriate times.

I'm still going to ask that baby boy look a little - WILE E. when he jumps into the tank - actually a Stryker isn't even a tank - technically my son is 4" too tall to drive it, but the Army took care of that too. He's only 5'11" on paper - the first time his height was listed on paper he was 21" long. The bird is in his sites - with a little ACME planning, perhaps we can see the light at the end of this tunnel we call war....but remember, there's always another cartoon just around the corner! (BEEP BEEP)

Get 'em boy! Hooah!

It's a Bug's Life!

(These cars were never my cars)

This is the most beautiful car I've ever seen! (1968 VW White Bug) You have to understand my connection to the V.W. Beetle before you'll understand my great love for them, but these guys - 11 of them total, helped me survive my 4 years in Hollywood, California. I lived off the profits I would make when I sold an Oklahoma VW to a California driver. You can still make a (nearly) 500% profit margin off of one. I checked today before I blogged. The same type of 1968 VW Bug in my hometown of Edmond (K&B Auto) will go for about $1800-2250.00 You buy it, you sell in Beverly Hills or even Torrance, and you'll get $12,500 easily - off the street selling! CASH!

I did this exchange 11 times, 10 of which were Beetles, one was a 1968 Karmann Ghia semi-automatic - ever heard of that? The stick is there in the console, but you don't have a foot clutch - very, very off the wall odd, but real, and I took in 600% for it. You simply have to love American Capitalism, and you have to have a great VW connection like I did in the 80's with Kenny from Bug Heaven, or as it was called in the day. I'd get a car, have Kenny fix it up, drive it from OKC to the Ocean, and before I could make it to the hills most of the time, I had the car sold. I remember walking to the bus station a couple of miles once because I sold the car a bit too far from where I wanted to catch a ride to the mansion I was watching - imagine that for a second...just think about what goes throught he head of a 17-18 year old wheeler-dealer, living in a mansion - driving Bugs for profit! (I said BUGS, not DRUGS..it was the 80's!)

Kenny is still in business, he and his son and wife run the K&B Auto in Edmond, OK if you're thinking you'd like to hook up with the men and do a little transport business. Just be sure and give me a little credit OK? Thanks - I'm sure Kenny will giggle a little when you first ask. He's been wheeling and dealing a lot longer than I ever have. He's good too!

My favorite bug-for-money story came in the summer of 1983 when my friend Kendra was going to Hollywood to be in the new George Lucas film "Return of the Jedi". Remember it? She stands 4'3" and had a part guaranteed - she was told would be hot, but they were filming in northern California in the redwoods so it may not be as much on the suffering side as she may have imagined. From Oklahoma City to Flagstaff, AZ, she and I broke down at least a dozen times. It was the Ghia we were driving. First went the oil hose in Vega, TX just outside of Amarillo, and if I went into detail about it - you'd swear you were reading the newest horror flick manuscript. I'll leave it at that.

Next the clutch failed in Santa Rosa, the fuel pump died in Gallup, and we had more fun with the steering wheel locking up near Albequerque. It was a mess - we actually ran out of gas two separate times, once when the gauge was working and once when it wasn't. To say we were frustrated doesn't come close. I gave up! I parked the car in a HoBo Jo's off I-40 in Flagstaff and placed the wire to my dad through his employer - Western Union. "Pick me up. Flagstaff HOBO Jo's I-40". He sent my pot-smoking, party-to-the-end brothers Mike. I have a big brother Mike and a younger brother Mike. My younger brother doesn't do that anymore! (OOPS - sorry Uncle Mike, I just outed you!)

I put my friend on a bus - she was pissed. She made it to Hollywood, and yes she was the best damned Ewok on the planet! We watch the movie now just to watch her falling and tripping herself. After all these years, she's still the best. Shouts out to the girl from Blue Harvest!

When I returned with my dad and my mom a few weeks later - Ghia in tow on the back of the truck - my dad was the most amazed man on the earth to find out that wherever we stopped for gas someone wanted to buy the little car. Could have been the for sale sign, sure, but they were just anxious to get a better look at the little thing. Butter Cream yellow and just adorable - was it a real car, some wanted to know. I guess Ghias weren't all that popular in the desert at that time. I held out for the PIER. I knew the Ventura Highway heavy-hitters were the real audience. Dad wasn't all that thrilled about pushing it through to the end. He wanted me to sell it then - maybe 300% profit. Sounded really good to the man. I refused.

Making it to the Pier. Standing outside. I think the record was 16 hours, that was a really long day - but on the day I arrived with the little Ghia - maybe 30 minutes passed before it was gone. Maybe. Cash in hand, 600% - pure profit. In the day, I think it was $6000.00 - today, you'd have to triple it, but remember, the original price in Oklahoma would have only been about $900-1000 in 1983. Today a 1968 semi Ghia would bring in $3000 or more in Oklahoma....in Edmond, anyway.

So, bugs not drugs. There's always a way to turn a dime if you look hard enough. Do this: Go to your paper now, look up VW's for sale, and then go to the classified in L.A. to make the comparison. WOW....I may have to turn Caity onto this - she would LOVE to drive 1500 miles across the impassible desert sand in an air-cooled car without a top - and maybe, just maybe she won't carry a butcher knife for protection....oh, I didn't finish that Vega, Texas story did I? Let's just say I'm not the most conventional driver - we'll leave it at that.

How Did YOU Meet Alex Van Halen?

I can say this: He has one of the best smiles in the world!

I was almost 20, living between Oklahoma City and Hollywood - wasn't everyone? My two very real jobs were that of a geological drafting tech in OKC while working just as able bodied in L.A. as a stand up comedian sometimes and a writer/writers assistant at others. Back and forth! I usually made more money on the coming and going, as I would literally purchase a VW bug (1966-1972) from Kenny at Bug Heaven (Now K&B in Edmond, OK) and I would have the man fix it up. I'd drive the bug across the world to L.A. where I would sell it for a 500% profit, live off the margin, and work very happily for one of the studios driving their cars, vans, trucks, or trailers to get even more extra cash - my methods of finances have changed over the years, but not my tenacity to find work.

At Gulf Oil (OKC) I had the opportunity to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed at no cost - insurance! Oh, what a thought - cut out the teeth and never have to worry about it again. What I didn't know at 19, and wish I had - was that I'm allergic to nearly all types of meds that put you under. Valium was the first to kick my butt - and I almost didn't come out of it. The days that followed my operation were indeed a blur if not a blinding mind-altering trip! September 30, 1981 I had my teeth removed. I don't remember October 1 and 2, but Mom tells me I was a rubber elephant in her arms while she tried desparately to clean me and the messes I made throughout the house. It was October 3, 1981 that will forever stick in my head.

It was a Sunday, last day of the State Fair of Oklahoma. Of course I had to go, I had never missed a fair, and besides - my friend Sharon could drive my little bug - she was 15. She had JUST THAT DAY won tickets on the radio to see Van Halen in concert in Norman, a little college town just south of us - hosts of the World Famous OKlahoma University Sooners! (Go Bob) We drove, I drove, she drove, I don't remember - to the Noble Center and we took our seats. WAY UP IN THE FRONT thank you, and I had the stupidiest drug induced grin on my face...I can tell you that.

The vibrations of the music coming from the speakers were working their magic on my mouth, and I found it nearly impossible to stay on the floor so close to the stage - this was during the warmup band - I had to move. Sharon had a friend whose mother had brought her to the show, they were in the upper levels, and that was cool with me, the concert was really for Sharon - I traded the friend, and I sat with her mom, a woman in her mid 30's who I believe still had a thing for young Diamond Dave. I was mesmerized by the drummer - he was hot! Alex. I stared a lot that night at the back of the stage.

At one point in the show, as you may or may not find hard to believe, David Lee forgot the words to "Running With the Devil" and I couldn't take it much longer - laughing, and I mean laughing, the stitches which had been vibrated to death by the speakers earlier - BUSTED. Blood spewed out of my big mouth like a fountain! SQUIRTING everyone in my immediate area - I was higher than ...well, probably higher than Dave.

It was then that a policeman, a very kind, and concerned man, asked me a question that I answered in the affirmative - "Hey, are you on drugs or something?" He asked. I was. I said yes, I'm an honest girl. UP and OUT he pulled me by the arm, he drug my happy butt across several concert patrons, over chairs, through doors, under banners and scaffolding - all the way to the back of the stage, where I guess they take people who either answer in the affirmative, or probably are too passed out to do so. I was being arrested!

Alex came from the stage just at the moment that I was being questioned. I was smiling, I was laughing, I was giggle-happy stupid and he began to smile with me. He got really close and said "You wanna another shirt or something?" My white sweatshirt was covered in splatters of blood. "Hi" I said to the smiling Dutchman! "Hi...yes, I'd love a shirt, you need one too." I mentioned, he wasn't wearing one at the time, and I suppose I was a bit concerned that he might catch a cold - don't know what I was thinking. He waved the police off when I handed him my bottle of Percidan - and he said to the uniformed officer "She's with me". There we went - back to the little room off the side of the stage and yes, Alex and I both put on new t-shirts. He was kind enough to help me with mine.

I remember thinking Sharon would miss me, and I have NO IDEA how she found me, however, that evening we ate with Alex at the hotel in Norman, talked for hours, slept, and got up the next day laughing ourselves silly. He liked my car, I remember that. I told him I would buy him a Lamborgini for his trouble - he smiled that smile. (But he said he would let me.) I then, that very day, went to the store and bought a tiny black Matchbox Lambo and mailed it to the address he gave me - I think he knew I was good for my word.

The concert in Tulsa was just a few days a way - tickets arrived in the mail. I was able to spend several more hours with that beautiful smiling man. I have to tell you, if you get the chance to meet Alex Van Halen - you should. Gentlemen come in many different packages - I don't know if I ever really said thank you to the man. Hey, Alex - thanks!