There's a t-shirt or sweatshirt out there that reads rather sassy-ly "Go ahead, underestimate me, that'll be fun" and really yeah, that about covers it. I could end the blog right now if I needed to.
I had the pleasure of explaining Southern women to a man today who I met at the bank. He was, I assume, rather taken back that a woman (especially one from the South) could walk into a banking institution and walk directly to the loan officers to discuss the various means of purchasing, not financing, but purchasing a property that may be owned by a bank in this country. The property I was (yes, I was that woman he so mistakenly decided to underestimate) referring to is actually situated in Scotland. I was made aware that the property is owned by a member of the bank where I do business. My thought was that perhaps I could talk to the owner of the house and land to sell it to the bank and then I could buy it from the bank making it an American transaction rather than an international one. See how things can be better thought out when you actually think outside those boxes everyone is so hastened to stick us into these days?
The man asked me to my face after he saw me walk into the bank and go directly to a loan officer that I knew if I had always been so bold. The answer was obvious, but I decided to give him a nod and answer in the affirmative. The woman I spoke with knew me well enough to know I didn't walk into the bank this morning to schedule an appointment with her for a delayed conversation. I explained that based on the first meeting I would then schedule a time to meet that would be satisfactory to us both. As it turns out the gentleman who had apparently walked into the bank and made his request known to the tellers that he would like a conference with a loan officer at the earliest convenience, before taking his seat to wait, was in fact from the United Kingdom himself. When I walked in and simply walked into the threshold of the woman he was probably waiting to see, he gave me the attention he did through his cordial and thoughtful mannerism, but you know the man was probably thinking I was not only cheeky but perhaps unorthodox or rude as well. Well, he has a lot to learn about Southern women!
"Well Sir," I started, "It's like this. I have an issue to discuss so rather than come into the bank and tell the tellers that I have an issue to discuss with Karrie, the loan officer I've known for 11 years, I just walked up to let her know what I wanted and when she checked her schedule we made the arrangement for me to come back tomorrow to go over the details." That's when I asked him if this was his first trip to the States and if so if it was his first trip to Oklahoma or any other Southern state. He answered also, in the affirmative to both questions. He was traveling through the normal routes from Florida to California and made a pit stop in our fair state to make a currency exchange. Currency exchange, really? I asked him if he had checked the Forex market today to be sure he was receiving the most for his pound notes to which he stared blankly at me and said no, he had no idea he could do that. Yes, you can.
For the next few minutes as Karrie was going over a few more things before coming out to greet Mr. L____ from just south of the Scottish/English border town of Berwick on Tweed, I explained that women in the South are quite friendly, very direct, they say what they mean, they mean what they say, and we hope that our requests can be met with attention to detail as we don't have time to go back over the matter several times. We strongly encourage people to listen to us the first time we say something. If in fact a man, usually a man, ever hears a Southern woman say the words "Bless your heart" when he's asked her the repeat something, he may want to at least take a couple of steps back from her to put more distance between the two of them. If she's a mother, she's likely to throw a shoe at him in the next few seconds. Truth. (Oh, and we say "hon", "sugar" and "baby" a lot too)
This revelation was met with a plethora of questions from the man. First, he wanted to thank me for taking the time to explain in simple terms the various truths and/or myth busters regarding the stereotypical image of what the men (and maybe the women too) in the UK think of American women from the Southern states. He was one, in fact, to not include Oklahoma as being one of these states to which he met my blank silent stare. He understood. He asked me if I owned a horse. I said yes. He laughed. He asked me if I owned a gun. I answered that I did and that I was better at shooting the rifle, but it won't fit too snuggly in the drawer of the nightstand. He asked me if I was educated past that the typical secondary level and my answer was "Sir, you're speaking to Dr. Jude Stringfellow if that helps you out a little". He again thought this to be an anomaly, to which I assured him it was not. He finally, after a few more normal questions about what Southerners eat, and what type of music we listen to, wanted to know if I attended church on a regular basis. I informed the man that I was born on Wednesday and in church on Sunday, and that my upbringing was that of a very strict Southern Baptist attendee, however, over the years I have been attending the Superior Word online. (Then I explained that Charlie Garrett is one of the best Bible-teaching pastors out there.)
Suffice it to say that the man was impressed with the fact that he had met not only one but several Southern women this morning. He was in the bank surrounded by four workers who were all women of this great state, and myself. He told me that when he calls his wife in a few hours to send her and the kids off to sleep, he'll tell her all about our meeting. He then stepped foot into Karrie's office and they closed the door to talk money. I hope Karrie won't be too upset with me for giving him the heads up on checking the Forex before accepting an exchange. Banks like to make their money on the backs of those who don't know you can do that. It's a game, but it's one you can be a part of.
Not all Southern women hoot and holler in public; some do. Not all of us can cook like our great grammies did, but some do. We're a mix of brilliant, bright, baffled, and beloved gals who mostly find solace in family and friends. I'd say for the most part also we're pretty keen on being pretty keen. We can dress up or down rather quickly, and we can hold our own toe-to-toe. Most of us still wear our pointed boots, so that could mean something right there. If you're lucky enough to be with a genteel honest gal from one of the Southern states, you might need to keep your manners up front and your mischief to the rear of the bus inside your head. Know that we love Jesus and we're not afraid to act just like Him. In other words, we've been known to throw a table or two and pull out the whips when we feel the need. We could also end up dying for you if we love you enough.
God bless the Southern women of the United States of America. Here's to you!
Photo Credit: Pinterest.com
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