Confusion and Chaos!

     I'll start by saying God is so good. He just is. I have been through the wringer lately, and He's been so wonderful. A verse in the Bible, Exodus 14:14, sums it up: "He will fight for you; be still."  This is so good. I know I have an advocate; that advocate is King, and He is not only King, but He is also God! It just doesn't get any better than God. 

    All that being said, I was trading today, as I do every day, on my Oanda demo account. I have been training, losing, and winning a few, and I'm a bit overwhelmed, but it's nothing I can't handle. I have been in the deep end before. I have been in places I had no clue where I was or who might come out of the woodwork to find me. In every case, I have taken God with me, and when I am finally still and trusting Him, He can and will provide for me. He did it again today.

    In Oanda and TradingView, I took a trade I flat-out knew would be great, but it wasn't, and I lost. OK, I get it. So I entered a 2nd trade to break even, not to win the day, but to reset my funds to where they were. I saw on the chart that I won. I was happy about it, then I looked at the order and realized I'd actually lost. How could that happen? I saw the chart! The green candles went right through the helpful little drawing that keeps you informed, and I won! Why would the computer say otherwise, and why would my account suddenly drop when it should have replaced what I had lost earlier? It made no sense.

    Speaking to Chat (Gemini) I found out that the Paper Trading function of TradingView, not the live version, but the demo version, will sometimes glitch like that. Oh, OK! No, it's not OK; I wanted my money back! I found out how to reset the fields, and I did. Instead of just replacing the money I had lost, I decided to reset it completely and start over tomorrow with my new edge: the knowledge I gained today. I feel so much better.  Trading is not relaxing. It is stressful, and it takes a lot of mental work -- 90% mental, and the rest is price! 

    So, here I am...learning. In the trading industry, the saying goes: you never lose; you either earn or learn. It's expensive, but it's true: every time you lose a trade, you should find out why and learn from the mistakes, or from the path price decided to take. You simply cannot predict it. I like to put little drawing boxes on every possible pair to see whether my thoughts or predictions would have panned out. I take only one trade a day unless I lose; then I try to make that trade up, but I don't try a 3rd trade that day. I walk away. Today, I predicted 10 pairs without trading on them and was right 7 out of 10 times. That's amazing.

    The drawing boxes can be green on top and red on the bottom for a long trade (buy), or they can be reversed for a short trade (sell).  You drag little dots to where you want the target to take profit and where you want the stop loss to stop you if you were wrong about the trade. That way, you don't lose everything; it is controlled.  I drew the box out and opened a ticket. I opened a Market ticket, which activates the trade the nanosecond that you hit the buy or sell button. You have time to set up the trade when you open it. I have mine set up so that when I drag the little dots around, it automatically registers inside the trade order box.

    Today, I did exactly that. I opened the trade order, I set it for 1% risk. That means I'm risking 1% of my entire account. I set the stop and take profit levels, in that order, and double-checked everything to make sure it was correct. There are a few other little things you need to do, but I did them. The blog is about the system screwing me over.  Then, after running the trade as a demo with the same data used in the live trades, I won when the candlesticks peaked through the top of my green box! I won! Except the system showed my trade had been canceled.

    I couldn't find where it stopped, even though the system said it did. I opened the trade order and saw that it had somehow entered a % of price for the perimeter of the field instead of price. I had not touched it. It had an internal glitch. I was furious! But Chat says it only happens in demo mode and won't happen to me in live mode. It couldn't. Can you imagine the chaos it would cause worldwide? OMG, you talk about wars! More than $9T (with a T) runs through Forex daily. If the systems failed -- damn!

    I am fine now. I have made back the money I lost this morning on an early trade. I am now trading very early to catch the transition trade trends from when the London Market is running and the New York Market is opening. Lots of trading, lots of back and forth, and if you know what to look for, you can win -- or lose. You can't really control it, but if I'd sat and watched instead of taking a 15-20 minute break like I did, I would have at least closed out with my $400 a day goal. Instead, I let it ride and had a stop-loss in place. I only lost $820, and I made that up immediately by entering another trade on a lower time frame and winning. It's riskier -- yes, but I worked out.

    Since I could start the game over, I did. I will wake up early tomorrow, trade and wait, but I will watch it and not take the break I did. I can wait 30-45 minutes. It just takes me a good slap to figure things out, but thankfully, I did. Let the games continue. I took off the red star and replaced it with a silver star in my calendar, as today was definitely a break-even day. I'll explain.

    I have little foil stars that I put on my calendar each day for when I win, lose, tie, or can't trade for some reason. Green is good, but Gold is better. Gold means I entered one trade and won.  Green means I entered trades and won overall. Red, of course, means I lost, and blue means there was no trade to be had. Silver is a break-even star. Today was a break-even day.   My goal is to win 55-60% of the trades I make, and I can't know my ratio until I do at least 100 or more. It will happen, and I will get better and better, I'm sure. I just have to decide I can do this and, of course, take God with me when I do.

    

Photo Credit: Goodwill Commodities

Faith Walks - Revamp

     I decided after 15 years to revamp the book that needed to be revamped the most. I mean, don't get me wrong, all of my books need, and will go through an entire revamp using AI to correct grammar, spacing, spelling, etc., but there are a couple of my books that I could not redo or get access to because I couldn't find the correct files. That was the case with Faith Walks, about 10 years ago when I wanted to fix it. I couldn't expect the original publisher (Xlibris) to help. They wouldn't send me the file back, and even if they did, I realized it was most likely in PDF format, and I already had that.

    I wasn't aware (either out of technological ignorance or just not thinking it through) that I could change the PDF format back into a Word document. I hadn't saved it as a Word document back then. I thought that was it after I published it. I must have deleted it - and there you go - gone.  In 2023, I was able to force Xlibris to give me the file when I formally closed my account with them, but it was, as I suspected, a PDF file -- I didn't know I could change it until this week. 

    So today, I uploaded the PDF, used Word to convert it back into a Word document, and used AI to make changes. Boy howdy! Let me just say that literally every single page needed to be redone. I didn't have as many mistakes as I thought, but the way I said things and the lack of punctuation were just amazing. I used "like" instead of "as" about a million times. I didn't hyphenate correctly on just about any word combination, like second-grade or well-deserved. I just didn't. So if you're lucky enough to have one of the old books, and you buy the new one, you'll see that I took out the Memorial page and added an Author's Note page. (two pages)

    The book doesn't have space between paragraphs, which is how I write, but because it was originally set up that way, I didn't change that. I did remove two lower-quality photos. I added one, plus a short blurb about Faith's passing and an update for our family. It's been 15 years!! Copeland was literally a baby when the book was published. He'll get his driver's license in about 5 months! Wow...just wow!!

    I've uploaded it, and it will be approved tomorrow and back on sale on Amazon after that. I've not changed the Kindle yet. I still don't know whether I will need to pay for that service. I thought I would have to pay to change the books, but the last two books I've changed or revamped have gone up without me being asked to pay their $25 fee. I'm not arguing with it. If they don't want to charge me, I won't volunteer.  I just hope it goes off without a hitch.

    This book is up, and Murder Book has been revamped. I'll do one or two this week, and keep up the process until they're all redone. I'm starting with the ones someone else edited, then I'll get to my own. Most of the books will be the ones I edited, and I've already regretted doing it without AI's help. I need AI. I mean, you just can't find your own mistakes, but AI can! Let me say that out loud! AI can find things I never realized I said. I can read it three or four times and not catch it, then see it when I apply the corrector -- damn.

    So, there you go - things are getting redone, and that makes me happy. If someone is spending money to read one of my books, they don't need a bunch of misspellings, bad punctuation, or wordy sentences that could be reworded to meet standard novel-writing standards. Sometimes I disagree with the AI, but not as often as I agree with it. I'm amazed at how many small points I missed. I'll give you one more example: I said "so" when the word "still" would have been better. It could be a Southern thing, but the more acceptable thing was to start the sentence off with "Still".

    Even now, you'll never see how many issues AI helped me fix just inside this one blog!

Photo Credit:  Google Play

Explaining the Trade

     OK, fine, I'll explain the trade and why I decided to take a Bearish short SELL rather than a Bullish long Buy position. First, you can make money in the market in an upward trend and in a downward trend. You have three market moves to watch: the upward trend, the downward trend, and trend consolidation. Most of the time, the market isn't moving up or down; it's battling between buyers and sellers out there in the ether, where you can't see them doing their thing. You only see the results after a candlestick prints.

    Candlesticks are either green (bullish) or red (bearish); green ones show the market (or price of something) is going up, and red ones indicate it's going down. When the sticks are shorter and they tend to hover around the same spot, that's consolidation. It's a very general overview, of course, but for explaining this trade, it makes sense.

    I use two "indicators" when I trade. I also "box" out my trade before I trade each day, and I only trade when the dots connect, the conditions are right, and the indicators confirm whether a trade is worth entering. I'll try to explain, but again, you can't learn the entire game in one session. I can't tell you how many times my big cousin Gene smashed me at Chess before I finally figured it out, but by my 12th birthday, we could play and I could come close to winning. By my 16th birthday, he had an opponent!  Things take time.

    Look at the chart. There is an obvious DOWNWARD trend in the EUR/GBP (Euro vs. the British Pound). I boxed the trade, meaning at 8:00 a.m. I turned on the computer, opened TradingView and Oanda, made sure I was on the DEMO account (not a live account), and set my time frame to 15 M. I drew a big purple box around everything the market did from 3:00 a.m. until then. I raised the top of the box to the top of the tallest candle, and the bottom to the bottom of the lowest candle. That is the box. That shows me where the market was and has been for 5 hours. This is the time when the New York Market opens, and the London Market is about midday. They've all but stopped, but the NY market is just getting started.

    If price moves out of that box on the next 2 or 3 candles while I'm watching the 15-minute time frame, above or below it, I watch the next candle to see where it goes, whether it strengthens or weakens the trade, and I keep watching. Now, however, I switch my gaze to the indicators I use. I use the RSI at the bottom to show me where the market is being pulled; the numbers vary, and it would take a while to explain, but if they're between 30 and 50, I'm ready to strike. They have to be closer to 40 before I pull the trigger on a sell (Bear), and closer to 48-52 before I buy (Bull).

    The EMA is the exponential moving average; it tells you what the last 50 candlesticks have done. You can lower it if you like, or raise it, but I keep mine at 50. The line is a ribbon that drapes over, at, and under the price, and where it is matters before you buy or sell. If the line is above price, you can sell. If it is below price, you can buy. If it is stationary at price, you need to wait - it gets tricky, but this is a general rule. Of course, there are exceptions. There are always exceptions when the market changes literally every nanosecond of the day.

    I saw the market trending down and staying in that trend. I watched the RSI and saw that it was hovering in the 30-50 range. I also saw the EMA above the candlesticks, and it kept bouncing off them, so I had to wait for buyers and sellers to show who was in control. Then, just before I hit the drawing tool to set up my trade, before I hit the SELL button to secure it, there was one more thing to consider: SPREAD.  The ask price and bid price differ; that difference matters. It can make you lose more than you want immediately, putting your trade at risk even if all the other conditions seem favorable. Check the damn spread.

    The spread between the ask and bid shouldn't be more than 20-22 pips, and yes, we'll have to go over pips soon too. You're not actually trading right now, so trust me when I say you'll need to make sure the ASK and BID bars on the right side of the screen are only about 20-22 digits apart. When they are closer than 22, HIT THE TRADE BUTTON!  I hit the sell button and made sure my risk was in the right place. Again, it's another lesson on what risk-to-reward is and how much of your account you should risk. I only risk 1% of my account on each trade. I'm not trying to become a millionaire, and I'm not loose or crazy; I'm being practical and frugal. I treat this as if it really is my actual job.

    When the risk of the trade is 1% of your account, and my account is $92,000 (fake money) I am literally putting $920 on the line hoping that my calculations are correct, and that the market is going to do what I want it to do. I set the drawing tool at 1:1.4, meaning that if I do win, I win more than I lose. I will win $1288 if price shoots outside my target range, and I will only lose $920 if it shoots out the other side. HOWEVER...I watch my trades, and the moment I see it going south, losing me too much before it pops back into the green, I am likely to stop the trade and call it quits. If the lower time frames show the market is reversing, I will stop the trade.

    That being said, I won't stop it immediately. I give it a few candlesticks on the lower time frames to see whether momentum is truly moving away or will spring back in my favor. You trade at a higher time frame, then use the lower ones to gauge the market and its tendency to flex. It can go either way. There is no set pattern. There is no forgiveness. The market is a live, flowing river of pushing and pulling, and there will be no single second of security, only trend. If it is trending and seemingly holding that trend, you have a good shot at making the trade work in your favor.

    That's what happened with this trade. I saw it. I took screenshots with my snippit tool and showed ChatGPT what I wanted and my goals. ChatGPT came back and warned me about getting in too soon, explained why, said what the RSI and EMA were likely to do, and literally saved me from entering too soon about 11 times. Finally, when the numbers matched what could be a good chance, I entered. I watched, I waited, and I won -- but if I had left it alone and gone to lunch or something, I would have lost!  When the lower time frames started to say it was reversing, I got out.

    As it turned out, the market did reverse, then it came back to trail down a bit more, but since I was up $675.00 out of the $1,288 I could have won, I closed it. I closed it and walked away. My goal each day is $400, so after losing $117 earlier in the day and winning a $3.00 trade because I didn't use the right risk-to-reward, I decided ending at $675.00 was the best move. I am happy, and I get to put a big gold star on my calendar. It was a good green day in the world of Trading with Jude!

Photo Credit: TradingView

Back to Coffee -- Well, Half Back.

     Today, and honestly, I think I should say, I started drinking coffee again yesterday. It has been one solid year since I was a "coffee drinker". I sold my fancy espresso machine, and I gave away my little drip machine as well. I wasn't drinking coffee, so I didn't need it. I gave away the 1/2-pound bag of Peet's and about 40 or 50 pods because if I wasn't going to drink it, someone else could at least enjoy them. That was my thought process.

    Around this time last year, I discovered drinking mushroom coffee, and after trying about four different brands, I chose Yege because it didn't have chaga mushroom in it. I know I'm not an expert, but I did some research, and chaga has properties that can cause or worsen kidney issues. I mean, there have to be underlying issues, I believe, but I didn't want to risk it. No chance at all, whatsoever, none. I have had kidney stones, and I do not like them. No!

    Well, there were three reasons I decided to go without coffee, and the first is one everyone already knows: it has caffeine. I had already dropped from full caffeine to half caffeine, then even tried full decaf, and it just never stuck. I did try it, and Green Mountain was the best I had found, but it wasn't tasty, try as I may, and I did try.  

    The second reason was the cost. For some reason, I thought I might be spending more on coffee than on mushroom coffee, and, honestly, it was too close to call. I paid about $17.50 a bag for Yege and got 24 cups of coffee out of it, or I could pay $17.50 for 24 pods of coffee and get about the same. Now, if I'm buying ground coffee, then coffee wins every time, and there was no challenging that - it was a fact.

    The third reason was that mushroom coffee makers were swearing up and down that drinking mushroom coffee would be better for my waistline and my mental state. This was a big draw for me, but again, as with most things, that too was a myth!  I didn't lose a single pound, and I was no more focused with mushroom coffee than with regular coffee. Both have all the antioxidants I need and want. Both have the polyphenols that I want and need -- so it's a wash!

    About a month ago, I bought a little coffee maker for about $20 on Amazon. It makes one cup at a time, and that's all I need. I can empty a pod or scoop in ground coffee; I have pods now, so that's the route I'm taking. It's been two days, just two, and I already know I'm going to stick with the coffee and do the mushroom coffee occasionally; both have 40-50 mg of caffeine, so neither will be drunk after 11:00 a.m.  Fully decaffeinated coffee has about 4 mg of caffeine, much less, and I'm OK with the half-caff. (Again, Green Mountain tastes great and is a really good value.)

    So, there you have it -- another time-tested experiment, and this time I can honestly and genuinely say I stuck with it; I gave it a year. I put all the research, time, effort, and money into it, but in the end it was just a wash; nothing changed, nothing stood out, and it wasn't worth the effort, but at least now I fully know, and can verify, that I put in the time. I waited ONE full year, and I think I discovered that organic this or that doesn't work for me either. I tried an organic decaf blend about a month ago. I tried two brands - both bad. Nope, I'm going for the cheaper one, but I tried Green Mountain again, and I'm giving it a thumbs-up.

    Maybe in a month or so, or maybe, I don't know, for my birthday, I'll buy a better coffee pot. I don't need it, but some things just find their way into my house, like the two feral kittens that happened to find their way in two weeks ago, and no, they haven't left. One is older than the other, but I bet they're related. Laura has her hands full with them; I'm just trying to live my life as peacefully as possible, and I think settling the whole should I drink coffee again issue is done!

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

Beetle Mania...I Have It.

     Back in the day, way, way back, sometime around the first day of Kindergarten, which for me was in 1967 (I was 5, almost 6), I fell in love with the Volkswagen Beetle, and no one would ever, and no one has ever, come between me and my car. I have owned a number of them on paper. I would buy them, register them, have them fixed, and I'd drive them out to California to sell because I knew I could literally get 3x as much for them as I could in Oklahoma. This was me, several years past my Kindergarten years, but I knew then, and I continue to believe, that the Volkswagen Beetle is God's gift to the automobile world.

    I sold 11 cars that way - one wasn't a Beetle at all; it was a 1968 Kharman Ghia, and that in and of itself is a story worth an entire blog. I not only sold it for 4x what I could have gotten in Oklahoma, but it wasn't really running that well when I sold it. My parents had to send my brother out to Arizona to save me when I broke down for the 4th time along the way. When I did sell it, my parents put it on the back of their flatbed and drove it out for me so Mom could see the ocean!

    I'd buy a Bug for around $1000, have it fixed for around the same, and end up selling it for $6000, sometimes as much as $7500. It took 2 days to drive out to L.A. from Oklahoma City, and I could catch a red-eye back for literally $99. When in L.A., I had several places to stay, including a mansion in Beverly Hills that I occasionally watched. I'd let them know I was coming out, and off I went - never once worrying too much about too much.

    There's a really wild and crazy story to tell about that Ghia, but it's not the time for it. This blog is about my new car! That's right, I'm planning to buy myself a Bug, and this time, unlike 10 out of the 11 other times, I'm keeping it. I did keep one of my Bugs: Sir Gub Elteeb, a 1968 white 12-volt, 1600 cc Bug with rusted floors, no seat belts, and a rattling noise I could never pin down. He was awesome!!

    I'm at the point in my life where I think I deserve, and know I want, another VW Bug. This time, unlike all the other times, it's me who will be spending way, way too much on it, but there's a good, solid, realistic reason. I'm going to get one that is not only street-worthy, but has been run through a fine-toothed mechanical comb, and it will have as few issues as possible for a 55- to 60-year-old car.

    If I could customize it, I'd make sure it was another 1968, white, 1600 cc, 12-volt air-cooled Bug, but there are so many really good ones out there that are already painted, and I can't see myself spending $3000 for a new paint job if I don't need to. I could; that's not the issue, but if I don't need to, I won't. Still, my heart is stuck on my old memories, and Gub was, in fact, my dream car. I'm chasing a dream from 1986 when I had to let him go.

    Lately, I've been looking on Hagerty, Streetside Cars, eBay, and a few other well-known sites to find the right car. I'm looking at this stage, I won't buy for another minute or two. I am waiting for the right time. It's coming, but it's not here just yet. I'm going over every inch of the cars I like and taking notes on what I like about this one or that one, and if the one I find doesn't have that feature, I'll see whether adding it would be too much. If not, I'll add it. For instance, I love the wide painted wheels and rims—I want a pool ball for a shifter knob, but I don't know whether I want a red glittery ball or an 8-ball.

    I know I like the lined cages that go over the headlights, but I don't like the eyelids or the crazy "flower power" accents some of the Bugs have.  I like standard mirrors, not the swan-necked mirrors. I like the wider chrome bumpers in front and back.  I like the taller seats in front with good padding, and I'll have to customize the accelerator pedal to be about 1" shorter than the standard - they're too long and get stuck. (not fun)

    I could get a project car and spend $10,000 fixing it, but I think I want one that is already done. I want one that has already gone through the mill and come out the other side smelling like the rosebud it is. I don't want issues. I want a very classic ride that I can enjoy driving around town and listening to the putter-putter splat of the engine. I swear, that sound could rock me to sleep. I need to see if I can record it and play it on loop at night instead of the ocean waves I listen to.

    I found a red Bug that had all the bells and whistles I wanted, and the owner was funny; in her description, she said the car had a slight oil leak, but it could be fixed with bubble gum. You have to know to know—I laughed. I really wish I had the money to put out today for the Bug because her friend would become mine.  It won't be much longer—hopefully before Christmas, but if not, I'm patient. I can wait.  (I mean, I've waited since 1986, right?)

    In High School, everyone wanted a muscle car. I graduated in 1979, and nearly every girl wanted a Cutlass Supreme, and every boy wanted a 442, Camaro, Mustang, or GTO. I wanted a Bug. I just wanted my little Bug. My first car wasn't one; it was, in fact, a 1977 Chevy Monza, because my dad didn't share my passion for German engineering. Eventually, not too long after I graduated, I bought the first one - then the next, then the next, then the next - and off I went off into the sunset, selling bugs, not drugs, and making good money.

    But now - that life is not for me. I will buy one, keep it, love it, and garage it. I will spoil it and give it the best life possible. Who knows, maybe we can grow old together. We both have a pretty good start.

Photo Credit: Streetsideclassics.com 

    

I May Have Retired. (Not Sure)

     I learned today that I may have retired. I say that with my tongue against my cheek, but at the same time, it may be true. I worked for an undisclosed company for over two and a half years as a remote employee. I worked from home, meaning I wore my pajamas most days, but I was nice enough (and professional enough) to wear a decent T-shirt in case we were asked to be on camera.  I was happy about the arrangement even if I wasn't completely thrilled about waking up earlier than I prefer. I'm not really a grouch, but sleeping in has its benefits and its comforts.

    Well, I was terminated from my job, as I mentioned in my last blog. I was literally let go for reasons that would baffle the mind(s) of anyone with a moral compass. I won't go into it because I don't want anything I say online to hurt my chances of regaining what is truly mine through the impending legal action that is imminent. I was wronged, and instead of being really mean, nasty, or loud about it, I'll let the lawyers do what they do. I did what I did for years, and they can do what they do without my interference.

    Today, I went through my bank accounts and did the math on my immediate, near, and future-future. I'll be OK. I will likely announce an official retirement in the future, maybe after the first of the year, but I think I may have stumbled quite unexpectedly into my personal retirement from working in Corporate America. It may not be true; I may be persuaded to go back if the conditions are favorable, but I think it may have happened - and I'm not upset about it.

    Obviously, when someone steps away from employment at the end of their working years, they've either set themselves up for success, or they've stored away a bit of cash or assets to make their golden years more comfortable. I'm one of those who made significant plans long ago, and while I may not be on the same tier as others, I feel confident in moving forward with the cards I have been dealt. Any financial gain from the company will be nice; it will add to the mix.

    Beginning next week, after I rest a few days, I'll start Forex up again, but this time with a more serious tone. I'll need to retune myself and practice for a month or so on the demo account until I'm back up to the 55% win ratio I enjoyed before I went back to work, but I think this could be it. I have the books, of course, and I'll keep priming the pump to promote them. They are a smaller source of income, but one that has been steady enough. Maybe with a bit more promotion, or maybe a really juicy book about corporate corruption, I can hit a new high in sales!

    When the world hands you lemons, remember who made those delicious treats in the first place: Jesus!  If it weren't for Him, I would be so far out in left field, even the Savannah Bananas couldn't find me. Jesus is so very good. He is so very good - and He is so very good to me.  I know all about heartbreak, heartache, heartburn, and heartfelt thoughts. I've had them all. He has been with me the entire time, and He's led me to an understanding that I don't have to seek revenge; that's for Him. I only have to be still and let Him do what He does best.

    "Be still and know that I am God"  (Psalms 46:10) is so much deeper than most think.  The very essence of the first word, "be," is eternal. You must exist to be. You can't be on your own, or by your own doing. We are all being literally every second of every moment. We are; therefore, we "be".  The next word, "still", that's the hard one. I can be all day, but to remain still and do nothing - that's the challenge. The next part is the promise: if I am still, I can then KNOW that HE is God. He is God not because I believe; He is God because He is God.

    So, if I go back to work, or if I write, I am being. If I work, I can still do Forex, and I am being. While I am being, I will rest in Him. I will pray and ask Him for His guidance, His mercy, and His way, because I suck at ways. I suck really bad at ways. I found myself so relaxed yesterday after realizing it had come to a close, and nothing tied me to that company except good memories of some of the wonderful people I worked with and met through my employment. But being unconnected doesn't mean I won't continue to pursue what is rightfully mine - because I am... 100%.

    I've not woken up to an alarm clock in a week now. I like that. I've rested, I've calmed down. No one is complaining to me about anything, really. I don't feel the need to fix this or that for anyone who may or may not owe the company money. It's the company that now owes me. I did my part. I'll sit back and practice being still. It's the least I can do, and it comes with the most benefits; strange, but true.

Photo Credit: USA Today

AND...the Winner is....TEXAS RANGERS!!

     I have a friend at work who is a HUGE L.A. Dodgers fan. He's a real die-hard, and he even once lived in Los Angeles and was a big-time game-goer. From time to time, he'll plan a trip to L.A. to see relatives, but always around a game or two, so he can see the players in person. That is true loyalty, true fanship, and I just never really had it. I never did - but it's also never too late to start! (I won't be over the top, I promise.)

    So, I wanted to pick a team - one that meant something to me. I was a Padres fan back in the day only because a friend of mine played for them. He and I went out a few times, and he was recruited right out of college. He played ball at Oklahoma, and let me just say, if I had driven more, maybe hung out with the man a few more times, I too could have moved to San Diego in the mid-80s, and my life would have been so very different; I assure you.

    Then, sometime around 1990, and for no reason whatsoever, I decided that Chicago was the way to go.  I was married at the time, and my husband was a White Sox fan, so I wore the jersey, and I really tried to pretend I liked them, but I just couldn't get past their past. I didn't like what I knew - and the Cubs were a much cuter mascot; you have to admit that. So, the Cubs it was. That lasted a good 15 years, but again, I was never really into it. I would watch; I would say, "Yeah! Go Cubs!" but I couldn't tell you a single player, or if they were in the playoffs - nothing. When they won the whole thing in 2016 -- I knew, and I smiled. First time to win in 108 years! You gotta smile.

    Well, that was then - again, another 10 years of so, and I've not even given baseball much thought at all. I'm not saying I've given football any thought, and certainly not soccer or basketball. I just haven't. I'm writing, I'm reading, I'm thinking, I'm doing stuff, but I'm not sporting - just not doing it. What I decided to do, in order to have something to do and to be sharing the experience with a co-worker who, like me, is old, is to be a fan of a team that isn't the L.A. Dodgers because I've absolutely never liked them or the Yankees, but to pick a team that means something to me - a team closer to home, and I don't care if the team I chose starts with TEXAS -- I'm not into the pretense of the big Red River Rivalry anymore.  (I actually love the State of Texas!)

    I chose the Rangers. I didn't just throw a dart and say I'll be a Ranger fan; no, it is much deeper than that. We have the Royals in Kansas City; they're a great team. We have other close-enough teams, but the Rangers were named for the famed and fantastic law enforcers who simply take my breath away! I have and will always be a true Texas Ranger fan - the cowboy lawman more than the baseball player. I'll wear the shirt, I'll root for them, and when Scott P and I talk, I'll try to keep up with his side of the conversation by at least knowing whether or not my team has won -- or even played! (Research is my middle name)

    The Texas Rangers! I can get behind that. I love the colors: Red, white, and blue. I love the area -- central north Texas. I know the real lawmen wear Stetsons, boots, and badges, but I'll be OK in my new tee from Amazon, and I'll get a bobble-head or something to knock around when we talk. I think starting a new hobby will be good for me. It will give me something to look forward to, and something to laugh over when we're not talking about work.  I can promise you this: I probably still won't know a single player, their stats, or anything too deep, but I'll try to keep up with games, the wins, the losses, and the playoffs! 

    I know I'm coming in late this season, but the playoffs haven't started, so I'm not cheating!  I picked the Rangers for who they are named after, and that's it —and they tend to choose our Oklahoma players more often than a lot of other teams. That's something to root for!  Go Rangers! Let the games begin -- or, you know, end well.  Besides, I do have a connection to the sport; my brother played, and my cousin (2nd) was a big-time professional player: Cal McLish! (who was actually a Dodger at one point)

My Daughter the Handy-Woman!

     More than once, over the past few years, I've relied on Laura's abilities to watch a YouTube video or two on how to fix something, all the while hoping and even expecting her to actually fix something.  To date, she's batting a 1000! She's been able to turn a wrench, fix a fence, lube a machine that was making noise, fix a toilet handle, and even caulk the bathtub. She's awesome! 

    Today was absolutely no different. I took a shower when I woke up and noticed almost immediately that the hot water wasn't exactly hot. I mentioned it to her, and she had experienced the same thing the day before. We just bought this house! I wasn't happy at all that the hot water tank was going to be the first thing to go out on us after only one full month.  Believe me, I wasn't looking forward to calling the gas company to find out exactly what I needed to do. I know they have a crew that helps people relight pilot lights, but who wants to spend money if they don't need to?

    Laura, in her typical fashion, sat herself down and watched a few videos about it. She took a deep breath, went into the garage where the tank is, and she went over it a few times in her head, imagining what she would need to do. Then, she did it! She read a short article, watched a video, and when she hit a snag, she stepped back, watched another video, and fixed it. Bam!

    The water heater is an A.O. Smith 100, which is powered by gas, but the ignition is electric. There isn't a small viewing window to check whether the pilot is lit; there's a button that lights up! She followed the instructions and fixed it. We have no idea why it went out, but it did. We'll need to keep an eye out for ways and reasons this happens, but I'm absolutely certain she's gonna save us both a lot of money and a few headaches.

    I didn't want to just post it on Facebook; I wanted to blog about it. I want to brag about her openly. She's really handy, street-smart, and has a little know-how for just about everything that needs to happen to help life push its way through. She's a game-changer, a life-saver, a great friend, and an amazing daughter. I'm so very happy to have her, and I'm so very blessed to have her. Jesus knew exactly what I needed when He made her - and when He gave her to me.

Photo Credit: Me (one of my favorite photos of her)

NEW BOOK! "The Trust" Has Begun.

     The new book "The Trust" has begun. It is the 10th book in the Nick Posh series and, I believe, my 23rd book. I'd have to sit down and write them out to be sure, but I think it's my 23rd book. At least, if I do nothing else in my life, I can prove I was an author. When I was writing my first book, I was so thrilled, so scared, and ultimately so very green! I had no idea what I needed to do to start it, keep it going, finish it, publish it, print it, sell it, or anything else. To be honest, I ended up hating it and almost didn't write the 2nd book. The experience was harder than I could have imagined. If I had money, I could have worked through it much better, but life is life, and that just didn't happen.

    Now, because I've learned so much more in terms of what I can do on my own, and what I absolutely don't need from anyone else (publishers, editors, agents, etc.) I can write a book using Word, edit it using Grammarly and AI, and design the book cover on Canva before loading the interior and the exterior into a file with IngramSpark, creating my own book from scratch! This book is probably my 19th book (I think) that I've created entirely on my own. Again, I'd have to sit down and figure out the math on it, but it's around that. 

    "The Trust" is a book that will take the readers through the mill in one way, and up and down an emotional rollercoaster in another. It tells my own story as it relates to real estate hell, and it digs deeply and intentionally into the various disasters Laura and I had to endure just trying to buy a place for ourselves. The deceit, the lies, the half-truths, and the pressures put on us were tremendous. We didn't deserve any of it, but there we were, swimming in the muck with one hand raised, asking for help before going under, and the other hand holding onto my daughter as she had to face extreme choices due to the people we trusted to smooth the way for us into the path we believed we could achieve. 

    God. God and God alone achieved the end results for us. We are in the house we need to be in. We are now, finally, after more than nine months of extreme mental and financial abuse, in a house we love and will love for years to come. The journey was rocky, deeply pitted, and sometimes impossible to imagine. We were misled by those whom I had hired to guide me, and in the end, even those people appeared close to innocent compared to the owners of the house we first believed we'd own, and the previous owners of the same house - a trust. 

    What takes place in the book is NOT what took place in our lives. No one died in reality. No one purposely tried to wrangle our situation into chaos, but we felt as if we were spinning out of control more often than not. The book is an outlet for me; a therapeutic adventure. It is my way to let off the steam I allowed to build up during the agonizing time(s) I was dragged through the mud, pushed into the ropes, and made to jump through so very many unnecessary hoops - hoops that didn't need to be jumped through if the people I had trusted had just done their job to begin with.

    "The Trust" is a murder book, a look-the-other-way-before-you-get-pulled-in book. It's a hard book to write, but a good book to write at the same time. I can get rid of some of that nagging indigestion I've been holding onto due to the way we were treated. Maybe when it's over, and the book is on the shelves waiting for people to buy it, I will look back and see that my bottle of Pepcid and Mylanta don't need to be refilled. Maybe the people who did what they did will read the book and understand I could have said so much more than I did. I could have filed complaints and raised disciplinary flags for them, but I chose not to. I chose to write a fictional novel instead. (It's my way of giving the one-finger salute.) 

    I have written two chapters today. I don't have a deadline. I don't know when it will be finished. I'll write it as I feel led, and I'm sure it will be timely. I'm sure I'll stick with it, like I do with all my other books. I'm thinking by Christmas it will be out - that's not too far in the future; maybe that's a goal. At least I know this: I can relax in my new home, a home God was able to secure for me, and I can breathe better, eat better, and know that what I (we) went through will never happen to us again.

Photo Credit: Me.

FALL is Coming!!

     Too bad, John Snow. Before winter can come, we have the entire Fall season, and I don't care if I'm not supposed to capitalize a season; I do it anyway. I am such a rebel!  Fall, Fall, Fall, Fall, Fall... I'll even say Autumn, but I am a FALL person. I was born in the Fall, and I long for it all year round. I'm not a summer fan - nope, hate just about every aspect of the season. It's overrated, it's hot, it's humid, it's stifling, it stops me from exercising. It makes me sick to eat; I find myself with more and more physical ailments from mid-June to the end of September, but once the weather begins to cool and the breezes don't throttle me or make me feel like I'm stepping into an oven, I tend to truly relax.

    To celebrate this year like I never have before, I've decorated my front porch! I know, to some, that may sound really trivial, but when I say it is a landmark experience, I mean it.  For 40 years, I've waited to decorate my porch. I remember Halloween 1986. I was taking Reuben out to Trick-or-Treat at the tender age of 6 months, and so many homes were decorated. So many homes were colorful, beautiful, fanciful, and fun. I wanted that. I really, really wanted that, but it never happened.

    After 1986, I was feeding a baby, making just enough to pay the bills, not buying myself anything new, and barely scraping by. It got worse. I married, had two more kids, and found myself working and earning the money for the most part; even when the two of us were working, we couldn't afford more than maybe a cheap plastic wreath for the door, and I wasn't about to embarrass myself. I decided I wouldn't do it unless I could do it right - whatever "right" is.

    Well, 1997 rolled around and so did the divorce. (It happened at Thanksgiving, and let me just say, I'm still very grateful.) I had little money, lots of kids, more responsibility since I wasn't receiving a single penny from the ex, and my insurance didn't cover most of the things they came down with. I could see the pretty colors and nice decorations, the pillows, the crafty things at Hobby Lobby, at Michaels, and other stores, but I literally could not dole out $15-20 to make the door look good - let alone the porch if I had one.

    When I finally had a little money to spare after the kids grew up I didn't have a porch. I lived at one place in 2014, but it was a rental, and the owner asked me not to decorate; she was trying to sell the house, and she didn't want anything distracting from it.  Then I moved into an apartment. I guess I could have decorated the balcony, but only Laura and I would see it. That was 2015. We lived there for 10 years. Finally, in 2025, we moved to a house with two porches, but unfortunately, it was in an area where, if we put out a pumpkin, it would be stolen. We decorated a little inside.

    We moved to our home in El Reno in November, and I almost put out Christmas decorations, but after moving and all the things you have to pay for, I told myself no. I'll just do it in the summer when the 4th of July rolls around - that didn't happen. By the 4th of June, we were told we had to move out of that house- the house we believed was OURS and we had to not only save for the closing costs, but we also might not even have a house to live in if we couldn't fix every last issue FHA threw at us! To say it was overwhelming would be tantamount to saying the great flood was an inconvenience to most.

    NOW!!  Now, it is time. NOW, the house is ours. NOW, we can (and we did) actually buy decorations and put them outside on the porch, around the pole, over the bench, and in front of God and everyone in the neighborhood. I am so very very happy about. I knew I wouldn't go too overboard, but I also wanted to be sure to do the porch up so it looked warm, cozy, fun, and pretty. I think we achieved that. Jeannie and went to Ollie's Bargain in Yukon, and I bought most of the things you'll see. I'll have to use zip ties to hold up the leaves, but it's cute. I went to Walmart and bought the vegetables, and I already owned the little blanket.

    There you go! Oliver is dressed for the season to come. I'm not ashamed of putting up the decorations a couple of weeks early. No, I'm just really hoping that God will see them and decide to send a massive cold front. We need it. It's been over 95 degrees for over two solid months, and I'm just sick of it. Just down right done!  Bring on the frost. Bring on the sweaters. Bring on the pumpkin spice everything, and bring on the football. With OU winning their opener 51-0 over UTEP, I already feel a lot cooler than I did two days ago!! BOOMER!!

    If you have a dream - keep it. Don't let time or people tell you not to dream it. It may not be a big dream. It may not be a really expensive thing, but when you can't pay for it and you can't do it, you realize that there may be a day when you can. I found this to be true. I will let Oliver (my house) shine, and be the loved and beloved home that he was always meant to be. He's been a rental for many years, but no longer. He is in my family now, and he is beautiful.

Photo Credit: Me