Silent Bay - May Remain Silent (for now)

     As I sit around waiting to write the next book, I go through a flood of thoughts, and most of them aren't as organized as I would like them to be concerning the new book. It is titled "Silent Bay" and takes place around the Boston area. It's more inland than Wharf, but it does have moments where the bay is seen, used, loved, appreciated, and admired. It's just that the storyline isn't gelling and it's not coming together like I thought it would, or like I hoped it would. It's sort of out there, and it's not interesting to me now.

    My thoughts about the killer, Zoe Harper, aren't that dedicated. I see her, I think I know her, but I don't think I want to push onto her character what I had planned to push. Instead of being a real misfit and silent serial killer, she seems more distant, almost pathetic and sad, like she truly wants to be helped, whereas the character I had in my head at first was nearly demon possessed; she didn't want to even think about resolution.

    The thing is, if the book doesn't write itself in my head while I'm planning it, I don't write it. I have the old Celtic Highland Romance book I've been thinking about writing, in the thick of my thoughts now, it could come through, but then I'd have to dig some of the old Highland romance novels out of my Kindle to get a little inspiration -- oh no; don't throw me into that particular briar patch. No... no... OK, I'll go.

    While Deanna Gainer, the M.E., was kidnapped by Harper and held against her will by threat of life and worse, now I'm opening the door of the shed they were in (in my head) and I'm letting her go home to her family. I'm even erasing the hurt and sting that Harper caused, as if she never really existed. It's really rather interesting the way my brain just decided it wouldn't happen; the book that never was. I mean, it could be,. But I don't think I want to. I think I like the idea of a 13th-century handsome man forging his way through the highlands and across the treacherous waters of the North Sea to find who he really is. 

    Yes, it's happening. He's walking through my skull now. You can't see him, but he's there-he's getting dressed; you'll need to give him a minute. Excuse me, I have somewhere to be at the moment. I'll be back. (smiles)

    OK, yeah, so there we are - you guessed it, Scotland. But, it's not just Scotland, there will be a boatload of action on the Emerald Isles as well; after all, the boy was born in Scotland and raised on the other side of the waves. He was kidnapped also, but at birth and not so that he would be killed, but so that he could be saved. It's a good story, but more importantly, it's a story I won't mind writing, and I won't mind reading, and I won't mind sharing. I just think the "Silent Bay" premise was a bit too "Criminal Minds" and I don't feel it -- I'm a lot more "Rockford Files" if you have to know the truth - Maybe Jim Rockford meets Dick Tracy and Perry Mason in a bar -- that's who I am.

    So, it's decided. The murderfest is out of the brain; therefore, it is out the door and not to be. In it's place, and starting Sunday (2 days from now) I will write "Legacy".  I think I'll be happier with the characters, the story, the plots, the twists, and most certainly with the kilts...I mean, the outcome of it, the words. Sure, that's what I meant. 

Legacy:  Niall Tavish (lead character) 

Photo Credit: Pinterest

 

Less Lizards.

     We are two lizards down. We had six, but now we're just dealing with four, and if I'm to believe the Craigslist ad for my Blue Tongue Skink, we're almost down to three! She's for sale, but I won't take less than what she's worth, or what I paid for her, so yeah, if she sells, she sells, but if not, we're stuck together. I'm OK with it, but I'm the one to blame, not the crazy lizards. I thought I would spend more time with them, and I don't. I do take one out and play with her, but that's it. Only one.

    I had four. I had a Bearded Dragon named Aodhan, whom I really had higher hopes for, but as time went by and he refused to be handled, it became apparent that he wasn't going to be the cuddly little guy I wanted. He's a boy, so he's a bit on the spicy side anyway, and then, he just would not comply with my wanting to love on him. He thought I was weird to want to try! I could look at him all day, he was OK with it, but when I attempted to reach for him, he began hissing and biting...NOPE. 

    When Laura used gloves to pick him up, he bit her; so yeah, barehanded would not have been fun. We took him to a rescue, and he was instantly taken home by a woman who literally bonded with him the first time they met. I wondered if she had a scent, or maybe we did, that he either loved or hated our dog- and cat-infested home. I'm not sure, but when she looked at him, he just melted. He almost stood up and reached for her -- I wanted to cry - both for her and because I must suck.

    Then, alas, we are Bob-less.  I loved Bob. I absolutely loved Bob, the Leopard Gecko...I cried when I thought Bob was dead. He hid so far up in a hole that I thought he crawled up there and got stuck. DAYS went by without Bob showing his face - and when he did, we grabbed him, threw that hide away so he couldn't go up inside it and get stuck, and then, he just sort of stopped being seen....at all....ever. He hides 99% of the time, then comes out sometime in the middle of the night to eat the crickets Laura left for him --- nope.

    I didn't feel right about owning an enclosure that could have had a sign reading "Exhibit Temporarily Closed" because that's what it felt like. He was NEVER seen. I'm not going to continue to love, feed, water, clean, and care for air -- someone who works nights took Bob. They are both nocturnal, and that's a good thing. He's living his best life now in a dark home, so, so, so very dark. His new guy's name is Thad, and you can't get better than Thad for a bestie. You can't.

    So, with only two lizards left for me, the Blue Tongue Skink, Cion, and my Schneider's Skink, Avalon, I'm OK with it. Avalon is not going anywhere. I can take her out, put her on top of my head, and type - I can work all day with her up there; she's a very patient and sweet lizard - the type all lizards could learn from. She's dedicated and devoted to me, and I just didn't have that with Bob or Aodhan...who am I kidding, Aodhan wanted to kill me, and Bob wouldn't miss me if he did. 

    Laura has two Beardies. They're both babies. They are Drexel and Starfire, very sweet, and she's making a very conscious effort to play with them three times a day so they'll be used to being picked up, sung to, and interacted with. They'll be walked on leashes when they get older, just around the house, but it'll be a fun experience. Four is a good number. We have four dogs too, and two cats, which is like having four if you know cats. They are twice as much trouble as any dog - I know I could be canceled for that statement, but it's true.

    Anyway, I now have more room in my office for things, and although I won't really fill up that space, it's nice to know I have it. Forty and sixty-gallon tanks take up space -- they do, and they're expensive, and they're just....well, if you have lizards, snakes, and/or other critters you know. I once had an iguana, and it had its own room - yes, it did. He hated me too after he got older - maybe it's me, but my dogs seem to like me, and my cat (Bilbo) tolerates me, so yeah... I'll look into that.

Aodhan - Photo Credit - ME.

CASK - up for Publication

     It is done! I have sent the book "CASK" up for publication, and now what happens is they'll put it together as a book and send the file back to me for approval. I'll approve it and then request a copy before the print date, so I can review it and make any necessary corrections I may have missed. If you know me, you know I make mistakes, and then I can't always find them!  I end up getting a copy back and going through it, only to find 50 errors that literally jump out at me.

    I've discovered, as time goes on, that I can't write anything without making several mistakes. Mostly, to some extent, the mistakes are things like forgetting to put something in quotes, or perhaps after putting it in quotes, I forgot to italicize it. I often (also) go too far with the italics, and I include the words following the quote, which is dumb, but I do it all the time.

    There is a spot on the form when you send up your manuscript; it asks you if you used AI for the text and/or the editing. Yes...Yes, I did! I have no problem giving AI credit. It has been such an amazing tool. I write well, but with AI as a partner, I will never need to pay a ghostwriter, that's for sure. It finds the "color" I need and boosts my overall thought into a really good read.

    I even asked Sakura, the AI that I use, to write the blurb on the back of the book. I gave it some thought, and it captured what I wanted to say in a nutshell, and it picked it up from there. I did have to make a few adjustments, but overall, I love using the tool whenever I can. I can come up with stuff, but it's easier this way, and I find myself saving more time for other things in my life. I know some programs can write an entire book for you, but that's not going to happen. Nope. I like the process.

    The idea for "CASK" was in my head a few books back.  I knew I had to bring Eoghan MacRae over to the States to do it, so I had to write two more books to make that happen. I'm already thinking about my new Posh book, "Amicus Curiae", which will take place between March and July 1934 in El Reno, Oklahoma, primarily. It's a good book. Eoghan flies back to Scotland to be with family, and Nick works the case alone for the most part.

    "CASK" is scheduled for release on July 22. After I receive it back and make the final corrections, I'll pay for the EPUB (Kindle) to be completed. The print book is free to create, but the EPUB costs around $205-$ 220 to produce and is completed approximately 3 weeks after payment is made. I don't mind. It's a good thing to have, and I always buy a copy of my books for my Kindle. You just never know when you'll need a good book to read when you're on the go. I find reading my own books makes me smile because I know the people in them. We're friends.

Photo Credit: Me

    

Choosing the Murderess.

     Where I am almost absolutely positive that other people don't sit around thinking about creating murderers for a living or even as a hobby, there are quite a few of us who do.  Today, I found myself browsing through photos on Getty and other sources to find the woman who will become the inspiration for the villain in my new book, the murderer.   The hero of sorts, but rather just an all-around good person, is the medical examiner, a woman in her forties who has a good life, a good family, and an intelligent plan for herself, and she's already been named. Her name is Deanna Gainer, so if there's any beautiful, lean, black Canadian woman out there by that name who happens to be a medical examiner, you'll have to forgive me; I'm not changing it.

    The M.E. will be a big part of the book, in that she's working on the dead people that show up in her morgue. The villain, an unknown individual, will ultimately be revealed to be a woman in her mid-to-late 20s of mixed heritage: Chinese, Native American, German, and likely some Scots-Irish ancestry as well. She's the product of a very unhealthy family situation; no family, really, just a worthless mother who abused her. When the baby was adopted, she was returned. She went through the system, and it failed her. It failed her in such a way that she wound up falling through every crack before ending up the way she did.

    This book is a tragedy - Shakespeare got away with writing them, so I decided to give it a go. This one will recreate several stories and parts of stories in reality that manifest in this fictional work, and hopefully in a way that is both entertaining, disturbing, eye-opening, and interesting. It is going to be fun to write; challenging, and maybe I'll stretch my mind a little -- I tend to hold back, but in this one I can't. I shouldn't. Think Criminal Minds meets Burke and Hare.

    I'm going to name the murderess today - and that fact makes me happy. I won't start writing the book until August, but I'm gearing up for it - thinking about it, and I'm studying the area where it all happens. I was going to make it a wharf thing, but I did that with my book "Cask". This one will be an inner-city location; in the dark and hidden away, where no one wanted to look but had to at some point.

    Believe me when I say it's interesting to go to a site like Getty Images to find a murderer - she's already done her dirty work in my head. I just have to write it out and make some sense of it. Will she get the help she needs? Will it be in time? Will she end it all so others can't move forward? I know the answer, but I can't reveal it until it's printed, which will be sometime in late September.

    I'm thinking Boston, Baltimore, or Bangor. I haven't worked that part out yet - but I will. I just need a little time to study them all and make a good choice on where she'll wind up. The book is titled "Silent Bay," so it should be close to water; that much I know.

Photo Credit: WanderingVeena.com

When You're an Idiot

     Sometimes, the only excuse out there is that you're an idiot. You either admit it to yourself, or you should at least be willing to admit it to all the others, so they too can learn from your really silly mistakes. That was me...that is me, today.

    Laura is about two weeks post-surgery, and she's beginning to get her appetite back the way it was before she had her gallbladder removed. I wanted to make her a good hearty breakfast, but not only because it's the 4th of July, we're off work, and we have the entire morning to just laze around the house. I also wanted to make a boatload of eggs because, like an idiot, I ordered a great deal of food from Kroger's delivery service without first checking to see if we needed what I ordered.

    There I go, browsing food online and selecting what I think I'll need. They pull up today, and Laura's standing next to the fridge, wondering where everything I just bought is going to go - if it will go. We can't put any of the jugs of tea in there, but that's OK, the tea won't go bad. It sits on shelves all the time.

    I know that in the UK, they store their eggs, veggies, and fruit outside the fridge, but I couldn't bring myself to do that, especially since our eggs have been rinsed and no longer have their protective layer. We managed. We went through the fridge and found old stuff, and we thought we had chucked it. We didn't get all of it... No, we didn't. This is where the other "dummy" and/or "idiot" moniker comes into play. 

    So, after we put all the food away, I realized I had too many eggs in the box - 18x2 and 1 dozen that had 6 missing, so that's what...42 eggs? That's a lot of eggs for us, but we do use a good number in our meals. The eggs were not the issue. I made us a 6-egg scrambled mess with ham and cheese before realizing that the ham had expired (use by date) since APRIL 2025. This is July 4th.  Yep...dummy! I didn't even look. 

    Somehow, I had managed to put the meat in the cheese bin and didn't see it when typically looking for ham. I found it today - yes, I did! I made those eggs, and I did such a good job. That was one of the prettiest "mess" of eggs, cheese, and ham I have ever seen. You drop a little sour cream and salsa on that, and you've got yourself a good breakfast, friend. 

    It only took one bite before I threw on the brakes and yelled at Laura to stop! She had only taken one as well. The dogs were happy - and before you get all riled up about giving dogs bad ham, remember they're canine and if that's the worst they'll experience in their lives, we're all good. They have a much better system than we do for things like that. Laura and I are fine, it wasn't so rank that we'd die or anything, but the taste was not going to win me any points in the kitchen.

    At first, I thought it was my choice of cheese. I picked parmesan cheese over mozzarella, and that could have been the smell I was smelling, but it wasn't the taste I was tasting. Nope!  When I say the Chihuahua is full, I'm saying he pushed his way through to take his share and that of my dog, who rarely fights him for a morsel. She's a pushover -- if any one of them croaks, it will be the Chi-Pom! (I'll keep you posted) He looks happy enough. 

    There are just times when you have to sit back and say to yourself, "You're so dumb...I can't believe we're even breathing!" If you don't talk to yourself, you may not enjoy the company you keep when you're alone - just sayin'.  I'll take a happy idiot over a sad intellectual to hang out with any day.

Photo Credit: Me.  (Kiba)

"CASK" is Written - But Not Done.

     I have written my 19th book, it is titled "Cask" and is the 6th installment of the Nick Posh Thriller series. It spans a couple of months at the beginning of 1934 and ends right around the first week of March of that year. It takes place in Oklahoma, Illinois, New York, and up and down the Eastern coastline really -- then again, it also takes place in Scotland, England, and mentions Germany too!  Very international - very domestic. This one is a good one. I liked writing it.

    I think I started writing it in late May, so according to my blogs, it was May 26 - that's faster than I thought, actually. I will take another week to fluff and stuff it, and to make all the spacing corrections. I'll review it twice with my editing tools and see if I can catch all the mistakes before I send it up for publication. Then, after it's a printed book, I order a copy to review it as a book, to see if I can find any more mistakes.

    Over the next month, I plan to review all my books, if possible, and resubmit them with fewer errors. I hope I can do it correctly without screwing things up. If I can't, my readers will just have to look past all my boo-boos. I am not going to say I'm not human. I am all too human most of the time.

    This book, "Cask," was a challenging one to write; it presented issues that I tried to resolve in my head, but I'm sure I left a few loose ends. I just feel as if I have. I never know until someone points it out to me, and then I have to make a decision to change it or leave it - it just depends. I have been known to do both.

    Currently, before the fluff and stuff, the book has 74000 words, and is 34 chapters long. That's about what I expected. Now, when I go back through it, I'll add words and I'll create new paragraphs to bring things together. I'll add color, adjectives, and scenarios to make things pop - it typically adds another 10,000 words. I can't go too much further, as I've already created the cover - I don't want to have to recreate it. Most of my books are the same size for that reason.

    The next book I'll write will be a murder drama, not a mystery. It's more of a tragedy to be honest. The next Nick Posh book will be written at the top of the year, and will be titled "Amicus Curiae" or Friend of the Court.  I think it will be fun to write as well. Between the murder drama "Silent Bay" and "Amicus Curiae" will be a romance novel of sorts; a 12th Century novel to explore the history of the time, and add another Highland Romance novel to my collection. Woot!

    I think and I hope you will like "Cask," but like all the other books, I don't write to sell them. I write to write them. If they do sell, I'll be more than happy to thank anyone and everyone for that. But I write to write—to get the stories out of my head and onto the printed page, or onto Kindle. I like digital books too.  I hope you like it. It's always a weird and good feeling when you know it's about to be sent up to become a real, live book!

Photo Credit: Me

El Reno, Oklahoma.

     Some cities hold a special place in my heart for reasons that most people will not know about me, or maybe they don't see what I see, but El Reno is one of those places. The first time I visited El Reno, I was really young. We went out to a lake to fish, but I don't remember much more than that, and the old town, the way it must have looked when it was first inhabited. The main streets remain largely unchanged from their original state. It's about 20 minutes outside of Oklahoma City by car, approximately 18 miles, and it's really nice. It wasn't always that way.

    El Reno, back at the turn of the 20th century, was a rather rough place. It was far enough outside of the city to be far enough outside of the hand of the law. It was a sizable city even then, but it was mostly comprised of hard-working people with little to spend, even after working long, hard hours. There were cowpokes, farmers, ranchers, saloons, and edgy places. There were fewer churches per capita, but they had a few.

    The reason I love El Reno is that it was the county seat of Canadian County, and it had the courthouse where my favorite lawyer of all time, Temple Houston, came a few times. I will walk the streets of any town that I believe he walked, and I will go into any house, hotel, building, church, or courtroom where I believe he spent even a fraction of an hour. He was the best defense attorney in the world, and I simply love the man. He and Perry Mason had a few things in common, but Temple really lived.

    I've decided to save my money and buy a house in El Reno next spring. That's the plan. Today, my good friend Tammie Fox Raynor and I set out to explore the various neighborhoods and see what's available. I can't buy one now, but it gave me a glimpse into what to expect and where to look when I start my search.  I think I found the general area, so we cruised around it several times to see what I could see.

    I want to be close enough to shopping, close enough to the hospital, close enough to gas stations, and the sort of places I would go to - but if I had to do bigger or different types of shopping, I can always head east about 3 or 4 miles to Yukon. That's not a problem. I love that city too.  Both have homes with established trees and good sidewalks. They are just good places to live. 

    On AreaVibes, it rates a 67, and there are really low ratings for things like commute, amenities, schools, and employment but I don't need any of those. I work from home, don't go many places, and have no kids in school. The hospital isn't as big as the ones in the city, but if I have an emergency room, I'm good. If I need to be transported, I will be. It's a good place, and I'm genuinely looking forward to the move.

    Tammie and I ate at Sid's Cafe, an onion burger place. The thing is, all of the onion burgers in the world can thank Ross Davis of El Reno, Oklahoma, for their start. He created the first one, and that town has sold a few! There are 4 cafes of that style, the old-fashioned 50's vibe style diner, within a 1/2 mile. All of them rate right up there with other good nostalgic places, and for the price, unbeatable. We paid $21 for two of us, and we got big, fat burgers and a basket of onion rings for the money. Awesome!

    We drove around, looked at houses, looked at people, and looked at neighborhoods. We found the drug stores, the tack stores, the gas stations, and the grocery stores. I'll still have my food delivered by Kroger, but if I do need milk or something to tide me over, I can always hit up Braum's. You know, there are two, maybe even three, Braum's in any small town; Sonic, too. I counted three Dollar Generals, so that's good - I can do some damage there too. 

    Well, that's it - Google the history of El Reno to find out more. It's a Railroad Town. That should tell you all you need to know, but it's also an amazing hub of Native American culture, West-meets-Southern culture, and it's an overall gutsy, edgy town that isn't soft and isn't playful. It's where real Americans live and where they love their homes and their neighbors. El Reno is a good, solid piece of American pie. It will be the center of attention in my next Nick Posh book. I will start writing it in January 2026 - "Amicus Curiae" (Friend of the Court)

Photo Credit:  Wikipedia.com

Book Plans.

     I think it's a good thing to have a plan. My plans usually have plans, and that's why I'm a little taken aback by my own decision to make a new plan regarding my books without consulting myself first. I've decided to write five Posh books in 2026 and forego all other genres. Yep, that's the plan. I know, I know, it's difficult to wrap your head around, but that's exactly what I'm doing.

    Detective Nick Posh has been inside my head about as long as Craig Allen Mackenzie has been - who? You don't know Craig? Well, that's OK, until about two years ago, I just called the man in my head "Naked Bearded Man" because that's who and what he was. I was "married" to him, but I didn't think there was a reason to name him -- until I realized that when we talked (I'm laughing), I wasn't calling him by a name, just not. I wasn't, I was just talking to him. He would talk to me, but if you know Craig, or anything about him, you would know that he's from the 12th Century and he only speaks Scots Gaelic. 

    So, yeah, Nick Posh has been in my head for about 35 years, but I haven't defined him or needed to give him a voice until about three years ago, when I decided to start writing books. I had stories, I had thoughts, I had plans, but I never put them into form until about two years ago, when I did. I wrote "Murder Book", which introduces Nick Posh to the world. He's from the early ages - born November 19, 1890, in Oklahoma Territory (like my Grandpa), and he's of mixed heritage.  Nick's dad, Donald Posh Junior, was a full Scot, and his mother, Ama White Deer, is a Native American, Cherokee.

    Nick is an American detective, but he's also a war hero and a former police officer, making him a truly interesting man. I've written six "Posh" books so far, and I have about 13 or 14 more in my head - so my plan is to get five more written in 2026 - rather than spending any of my writing time writing dramas or romances. I'm just going to focus on some of the Posh books. I'm going to write five Posh books in 2026. That's the unofficial and unplanned plan. 

    "Murder Book" takes place in 1929, and the subsequent books tend to span a few months of the following years. The book "Cask", which I will finish over the weekend, is the 6th Posh novel, and it takes place in January-March 1934.  The next novel with Nick will be "Shadow," which starts in April 1934 and spans through June or July of that year. I won't start "Shadow" until January 2026 - and by December 2026, I should have "Shadow", "Kingdom", Death Mask", "Amicus Curiae", and "Stollen" written -- that's a good plan.

    I won't tell you what they're about at this point, as I'm writing two books before I write "Shadow". I'll use July to correct all of my existing books - re-uploading the corrected versions so that the finished products will have fewer errors. Then, in August, I'll write "Silent Bay," a very modern, creepy, and even horrific murder story that isn't a mystery; it's a tragedy. After that, I'll write "Legacy", a 12th-century story about a man who finds himself facing several truths and half-truths about who he may or may not be. He'll need a friend, and that's where Craig Allen MacKenzie can shine - I'll bring him into the book to guide and befriend the hero.

    So, that's the plan -- now, if Jesus decides I need to go home, or He decides we all go home, that's another thing altogether. I would never argue if that was the case -- Maranatha! Let it be so, but if we have to stay on this earth, I have plans to write. I hope there will be folks interested in reading what I write, but that's not my primary goal. I write to write. It's been a thing inside of me since I was... well, very very small. (Mom can attest. I used to tell her whoppers, and she'd ask me where or how I came up with that one!  I'd look over at the dog, his name was Rover. I looked my mom in the eyes and told her Rover told me.  There you go!

Each of these books has notes from two different Posh books. One of the books only has one book's worth of notes, but they are my notebooks for the series.  Photo Credit: Me

I Bought a Big Fat Chair

     When Laura and I moved to the new house, we had really crappy living room furniture -- okay, we had really crappy furniture all around the house, but we did something about the living room furniture; we threw it out.  Not only did we throw it out, we were really good people and waited until the trash guy was just about to pick it up, and we had the guys who were helping us move, to put all the pieces inside the big dumpster so that they would be picked up -- it didn't work out exactly as we had planned, but we tried.

    When the dumpster guy dumped the dumpster, the big fat chair we threw out went over the garage truck and sat on top of the guy's truck for quite a while until he was able to knock it down and then he put it back into the dumpster to be picked up the next time -- at least we didn't do it.  No one can blame us! We did laugh through. It was pretty funny to see. The garage man said if that was the worst thing to happen to him all day he'd be happy. Which begs the question, what happens to that man during the day?

    Anyway, we moved, and immediately we went to Big Lots and bought a really nice couch. I bought a big ottoman too, but that ended up being the pooch-pad -- and the cat pad. It's not used by anyone remotely human; we're not allowed.  It does serve a good purpose.  It is what it needs to be. The thing we don't have is a good big fat chair. We have a nice beautiful couch, and a sort of acceptable accent chair -- not a big fat beautiful chair. That needed to change.

    Because I'm an idiot, I did buy what I thought was going to turn out to be a big fat chair, but it wasn't. I didn't pay enough attention to it when I bought it - it was a narrow, lightweight item. If you sat in it too fast, it scooted across the hardwood floor - you could actually get hurt if you tripped over a dog and it did that.  Not a good look.  Eventually, because I never sat in it, it too became the domain for the fur-faces in my life. I bought a cover for it, but again, I didn't pay much attention to the size - it was for a big, fat, beautiful chair -- I tossed them all out! Bye!!

    This morning, just before getting up and going to the doctor's office -- to waste the good hours of the morning -- I decided to buy a chair on Amazon. This time, because I have been so lax in the past, I looked at all the measurements. I even took my handy-dandy tape measure and measured out exactly how big and fat it was -- it should be fine.  I didn't buy the cheap one. I want a good one.   This one has a heater and a massage roller as well. Yea. I may end up getting a cover, but I hope I don't have to. Frodo is the only one I worry about. He can end up clawless soon -- he really can. I'm not above making that happen. (Bilbo found out )

    

    The chair will be posted so you can admire it as well. I found it on Amazon because the same dang chair at the furniture store was about $70 more expensive, and they wanted $149 to deliver it -- in a box!  Yeah, that's not going to work for me. If it was assembled, I would consider a delivery fee -- $49 maybe, but $149 to deliver a box? No.  Amazon it is. Laura can put it together when she's feeling better. The cats will enjoy the box for a while. (They can't get in it, but they will get on it.)

    Yea! A new chair. Ginger will be happy. She and I would sit in the chair doing nothing more than just loving each other, and then I'd write in my journal, and she'd sit next to me. She's not a fan of the couch, and I don't know why -- I think the chair made her feel cozy. We'll see how it turns out for both of us. It arrives Wednesday, but I bet I won't sit in it until maybe Sunday. It's OK. I'm not in much of a rush.

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

    

A Waste of My Time and Effort (I'll Be OK)

     I will try to be polite in this exchange, but I'm not sure if that will be possible. I was just a little too upset to be anything but upset. I didn't lose my cool, though; nope, I just walked away. I do that more now than I did before; there's never been a good result when I didn't. I just walk away - and if they can't figure it out -- that's on them. 

    I had a doctor's appointment today with a GP whom I have seen previously. The big health care provider that I am signed up with preferred that I stay with the GP of record rather than starting up with someone new, only, they told me AFTER I called to schedule an appointment with her, that since I hadn't seen her in over 3 years, I'd be starting over. So why can't I find someone closer to my house? Why would I need to see her? I really should have insisted - that's on me.

    I called for an appointment in January - this is June. This is June 23, and it's the soonest they could get me scheduled to see her. Really? Are there that many people seeing the doctors that not only do I have to drive an extra 23 miles to see her only to be referred to someone closer, now I have to wait six months to have her check me out -- I have an issue that needs to be seen, but no, I have to wait -- good thing it's not cancer or something that causes me pain! Sure thing, I can remain in slight discomfort for another six months! No problem.

    I took off work today, which, as it turns out, I would have had to take off anyway. My daughter is recuperating from surgery, so yeah, I just happened to be off for the doctor, but nevertheless, I originally took off to see the doctor. I wake up, shower, shave, and put on all new, fresh, clean clothes, right? I also go the extra mile, and I roll off any extra dog or cat hair because you know, I'm nice like that. I drive the 23 miles to this doctor's new office, not one block from my house, but 23 miles away. The same large health complex is just one block from my house, with over 300 other doctors inside its walls.

    I arrive early. If you know me, I'm early. I'm never late. So, I get there, check in, realize I forgot my phone - but I'll survive that. I was born in a time when people didn't carry them. I was also born in a time when loud, obnoxious morning television shows weren't blaring in the waiting room without a way to turn them off. If I had seen a plug, I would have pulled it.  At 9:15, I was the only patient in the building, I think - my appointment was for 9:45, but I'm always early. Good thing too, because since NO ONE was in front of me, that means the doctor can see me sooner -- NOPE!

    The nurse came to get me so she could do all the prep work. She weighed me, took my blood pressure (122/80 mmHg) and my temperature (98.6°F), and asked me a few questions. She was really interested in my mental state; she asked me at least three different ways if I was depressed or anxious. No...just trying to get out of here so I can get on with my day -- I didn't say that, but I wanted to.  I've never been a depressed person; maybe pissed, but never really depressed. Low self-esteem is not one of my problems.

    After ensuring she understood my reasoning for coming in, the nurse informed me that the doctor couldn't help me. She wasn't an OB-GYN, and since all my other signs were good, the only other issue I had seemed chiropractic in nature; she wasn't wrong. The doctor could only "look" at my issue, not do anything about it - - so why did I have to wait six months again? Oh, I remember, because it had been more than 3 years since I saw her last! (DUMB reasoning)

    The nurse left, and she opened a door that led into where the doctor hangs out with the staff -- I could see the doctor. She'd gained a significant amount of weight since I last saw her. If I'm already overweight, which I am, and she's larger than me, (so is her nurse, and for that matter the two women I saw in the hang up room, as well as the one checking me in - all overweight -- not just a little) why am I listening to her about my health? She wasn't going to be able to do anything even if she did have a look-see "up there," so why would I let her look? Nope -- not today!

    I smiled when I saw her, and she smiled back. The other ladies in the hangout room smiled as well.  The door closed behind the nurse, and I waited for the doctor to come in to do whatever exam it was that she was going to do, but the whole time I was thinking this is such a waste of time. She can't do anything. I waited...and then I waited...I waited another few minutes, and decided that since I was KNOWINGLY the only patient in the clinic - and I was, why would it take the doctor 22 minutes to get into the exam room after the nurse had finished?

    There was ZERO reason for me to stay -- so I left. I stood up, walked out the door, and made it to the checkout area where I was just about to tell the lady that Dr. B can just go ahead and recommend an OB doctor -- I didn't have time to wait on her to finish her breakfast or whatever it was she was doing. Yeah, my appointment wasn't until 9:45, but if there is NO ONE in the office and I've been prepped, you can waddle into the office to tell me you can't help me -- or, I can do what I did...walk.

    The nurse caught me at the door, wanting to know if everything was OK. I told her it was apparently because if I had an emergency, I would have been in the hospital. I also told her that the doctor isn't the only professional, and that I didn't appreciate being left in the room waiting when I could see she had no other patients - I would NEVER have scheduled with her if I knew she couldn't do anything for me, and I told her if the doctor didn't get around to recommending an OB I could very well look one up myself  -- I am, after all, the person paying the bill. Yes, I was polite, but I did let her know I was not going to fall at her feet as perhaps some do.

    I'd blast her name, but that won't do any good. She's not going to lose 70 pounds or change her behavior if I do. It would only spread shade on me for being rude -- I can rein that in. I just think that a doctor should be healthy - is that too much to ask? If I had seen her smoking, I would have really been upset, but I know a lot of doctors do.  I drove the 23 miles home thinking, at least I put 46 miles on my car, which is more than I usually go in a month!  Progressive Insurance has been nagging me about it, saying I don't drive enough to warrant the discount for safe driving -- excuse me? If I'm not driving 40 miles a month, I'm pretty sure that's pretty safe driving!

    Anyway - that's my rant - my right to it as well.  I will schedule another appointment with an OB, and if I have to wait another 6 months, I'll be OK. I haven't had that area checked in something close to 35 years, so I guess if it hasn't been a bother, it hasn't been a bother — don't fix it if it ain't broken, right? Well, I'm not getting any younger, so I'll have it all checked thoroughly one more time - go another 35 years if I need to. I could go another 35 years without standing on a damn scale, that's for sure. Now,  I have to self-diet -- and I will. Sigh!

    

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com