Saturday, March 14, 2009

What's Going On, What's Coming Off

Hey, I noticed on Facebook that if I blogged on THIS blog it would post to the Facebook profile, but if I used my Dwindling Author blog it did not. So, I'll give you my Dwindling Author blog today and you can see for yourself what is going on and what is coming off. Weight is the reason for the blog in the first place. I have been stuck at around 165-170 for years and where everyone says "Oh, you look good" and all that - - I know I don't. I realize that I've reached what is considered to be a norm in our American society, but that is not what I need, it is not what I want for myself and I have to be the one to change that.

There have been exercise programs in my routine that have worked for muscle toning, but I just can't seem to get the stubborn fat off the torso area. This has haunted me, ridiculed me, been a problem for years and I'm just tired of it. I know that some of it is genetic - - I watch TV, I know all about DNA thank you very much! LOL I also know that some of it is habitual, some caused by stress and most of it is just there because I wasn't diligent enough to do what was right for me! That stops. Well, it has actually already stopped. I'm not the person I was 30 years ago, I don't have the same wiring - my body doesn't respond to food the way it used to, and for that I am sad - - but it also doesn't respond to men, friends, family, community, and outside influences either - - THANK YOU GOD!

I changed and my body changed. My habits changed, and my diet changed. The way I'm combating my weight at the present time is with force. I've gone to the brink, looked over and jumped. I went to the doctor! I never do that. If you know me you know I don't go to doctors until I'm passed out on the floor dying and someone drags me. I went in the office by myself, I even made the appointment. That was big. I went because I am big. I feel big. I didn't feel like I couldn't do it, I didn't feel helpless or without power over this thing - - I felt like I had come to a wall that needed a bulldozer and I didn't have one. That's the position I'm taking. I don't ever fail - - I chip and chip and chip at it but I will never stop! (Not when the prize is too important, it's me!)

So, I'm on the hormone HCG to fake my body out. My guts think I'm pregnant and I am eating less real food and letting my body feed itself on the stubborn fat that I'm storing (apparently abnormally) in my B's: butt, belly, back, boobs, and biceps. I have about 30 pounds to go, and I know I'll be there before June. I want to be there before May, but I know I'll be there before June. We film in July but I'm sure I'm going to have to have pictures taken for the movie with Anne Lockhart in June and I'm NOT NOT NOT going to be 170 pounds. I'm going to be around 140. Anne deserves to be in pictures with healthy people. (Anne is playing me in the movie "FAITH" and I want her to play someone with a better body - - that and I really hate shopping for pants in the women's section of the store. I miss the juniors section!)

HCG is a regulated drug so you need to get your doctor's approval before jumping off and buying it online without knowing what you're getting yourself into. I bought my bottles of it online at but after I found out everything necessary for my body type, blood type, and my heart condition. You want to make sure you have normal and/or lower levels of cholesterol too. You just need to be careful - - I love you OK? I've lost 4 or 5 pounds in a week. It's coming off slower than the diet suggests, but I'm OK with that. I don't mind being a bit slow on the loss as it's more healthy to do that. If I have 30 pounds to lose I can lose it in 6-7 weeks and feel great about the process...the main thing is this stubborn belly!! (You have three kids in 4 years, overeat and hurt yourself in a freak accident and your body thinks it can defy you like this! NO, it can't!) SMILE

Well, wish me luck. I'm looking at 4.6 pounds lost in 6 days. I'm not thrilled that it's not 6, but I'm not upset either. If I had MY way I'd take a dosage of HCG go to sleep and wake up looking like Eryn Brooke! WHAT, you don't know who ERYN BROOKE is? Wow - - go to and melt! She's soooooo pretty, and she's in my movie too. I love my job. I get to stare at gorgeous people (men and women), I get to pretend to know what I'm doing, and I have all the dog kisses I want. We have several on the set all day. LOVE my job!

I'll post the synopsis on Facebook so you can see the actors playing the various roles in my movie, or you can become a FAN OF FAITH and see them in the photo albums. (Look up Faith the Dog)

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