Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Well, I'm Not Cool Anymore (Not Upset About it Either)

So, it's gone. All that pain, all that care, all that work....gone.

I really wasn't trying to be cool, or trying to find my youth again. I wanted to do something that I have always wanted to do - - sort of face a fear. So, if I let it go after fully experiencing the event (the adventure) I'm OK with it. Let me walk you through it.

Caity told me she thought I would look cute with a nose stud. Everyone looks a little cuter with a little diamond twinkling on their nose - - women in other countries have been wearing jewels for centuries. I just thought it would be too painful to get it done and actually, because you don't want it done incorrectly, I also knew it would cost a little more than say an ear piercing at the mall. You don't want to use a needle and a cork, you don't want to experience too much pain - - well, I suppose some do, but I don't. I never really got into the whole holistic pleasure of hurting myself for the greater release. I'm a chicken shit.

We went to the 23rd Street Body Piercing, the little house of horror parlor on 23rd in Oklahoma City that has been serving people for many years now. Pain is part of their phone number I think it's 235-OUCH or something like that. As nervous as I was I was more excited about being able to face down an old demon. The demon of hurting too much to follow through a little idea like piercing my nose. I can't say it was a fantasy, a desire, or even a dream, but it was something I often wondered about. I couldn't imagine it being comfortable but was willing to go that extra mile for two reasons - I'm going through a rough patch right now; the fact is I needed this little procedure. It taught me a very very valuable lesson. I can do this. No matter what it is - I can do this. It may hurt a little. It may be a little silly, but if it needs to be done, I can buckle down, in this case relax and let it happen.

OUCH! Oh my gosh it really really really hurt. I'm not kidding you, no I'm not joking, it was the worst 12 seconds of pain I've experienced since my kidney stone, but I was allowing it. Heck, I was paying for this! Then, just as quickly, it was over and I was adorable...just adorable.

For about a month I fought the longer than average stem, something I thought they clipped a bit before inserting it into my left nostril. Oh, this would be a good time to mention that a woman in the tattoo parlor next door asked me if I thought there was a side of the nose you're suppose to pierce so you don't look like you're gay and available. I think I shrugged, that wasn't part of the equation for me, it wasn't about what others thought, it was whether or not I could do it. I fought the long stem for a few weeks. Some people don't know that boogers do actually crust up on the stems - they do. Cleaning it was hard at first, again painful, but again each day reminding me that the pain goes away, you work at it, you meet it and it becomes something really cool, something pretty.

It felt like it was time to let it go today. I don't think the date had anything to do with it, it was just....you know, time. I cleaned it for the last time, removed the stud and gave it to Caity for her collections. I was even really super nice cool and took the boogers and stuff off of the stem, then I cut it back for her with wire cutters. She appreciated it. I watched her pop her stud in and out of her nose like it was natural to do it - - it is NOT natural. I guess I wasn't meant to be all that cool anyway. I do however like myself "that" much more.

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