Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My New Son-in-Law: Matthew Gray Gubler (LOL)

(Matthew's pic was not taken by me, Caity's belongs to the family)

Does this poor man have any idea what is being planned for his future? Shania Twain sings about a wedding day being planned for an unsuspecting man - - Caity hasn't bought the dress yet, but is clearly scheming and smiling behind this man's back! I don't know at this point whether its love or lust, but I can tell you this: what the little girl wants the little girl takes! (Hey, none of you guys ever told on her for taking the cop car in 2006 did you?) Caity has never really been all that easy to talk to when it came time to reason with or to shed a little wisdom on a rash decision - - she's assured me that there's nothing rash about this one; Gubler simply has to comply otherwise Caity has every intention of ratting out Arsenio Hall for things he may or may not have been involved in. Apparently Hall actually holds a portion of the rights or ownership of Fair Gubler! LOL (reference: MySpace)

Where it is true that Caity has been known to change her mind about men she has decided to marry; it is also true that as she gets older (almost 18) she has given more thought, more time, more devious smiles and more secret meetings on phones and in silent giggles -- she is planning something...dare we say a kidnapping? (Now c'mon, if Gubler actually ends up missing I don't want anyone showing up at my door OK? Caity doesn't live with me any more! Come by, but believe me when I tell you that I have no idea what you're talking about - it's not as if she'd actually call me or text me and say she's holding the beautiful man hostage. She would simply never show up again - - the two of them would live somewhere secluded for a while until Matthew was brainwashed into believing that Caity was the most beautiful woman in the world, fully satisfying, and that he'd never possibly want to get away - once Stockholm Syndrome was firmly in place, I'm sure she'd bring him back to the mainland!

When she was five she was going to marry Michael Jordon. I remember looking forward to the day it happened because she promised me that I could live close by and eat ice cream all day while watching television and writing books. I'm not into ice cream any longer, but the idea of wasting the hours of the day writing is still quite appealing - - however, if it means that I have to live close to Caity for the rest of my life I'm not sure I'm a true fan of the idea. Matthew's cool though - I could stay closer if he were to actually surrender. I'd love to comfort the man and tell him that she won't bite, but I can't lie. That would be unethical.

My mother raised me to stay close to the nest - I rebelled. I've raised my kids to run away - fast, and all I really ask is that they do so with dignity, grace, and understanding - knowing that they are to be both responsible and tolerant people. It makes me wonder how successful I've been in my parenting. I won't know until they leave will I? Hey Matthew: If you can help - if you really are willing to be the grand sacrifice in her current plot, can you send me a message on MySpace? Just say when seriously, I will take off for Chicago, I swear it! I'll leave the monster (kid) with you to raise, I'm not kidding. You'll never be bored I can promise that much...and if I had to be honest about it, you'll never be quite sane again either.

Keep a heavy eye out for her. She looks like the sweet demon that she is.


Bennet said...

Wow! Haha, I just came upon this blog post while looking at pictures of that B-E-A-utiful man (Gubler) and I laughed 'cuz I joke about meeting him ALL the time...And I thought it was pretty cool that me and my 2 best friends have a blog on the same site as you called The Wal-Mart Girls ( and I write about marrying him a lot...We even have a story going on about it that I write... :)Tell Caity she has some competition...B.T.W. Your blog's pretty great! :)

Sparky said...

hahahaha Caity has a ton of competition.... Matthew must be the most wanted man on the planet... I would so totally kidnap him. BTW Your blogs awesome