Thursday, January 24, 2008

Leona G. is Forcing me to Blog About My Surgery (LOL)

(Not my stones or my photo)

Apparently I have a gall bladder stone. I only have one, but it is obviously pretty big because the doctors at Deaconess Hospital (OKC) decided that I was a perfect candidate for the removal of the "unnecessary organ". Why does God do that? I'm only asking because to me it doesn't make sense that He would make this gall bladder thing if He knew it would become useless or even damaging in our OLDER (46) years? Oh well, the fact is, I have one, it sent me to the E.R. the day of the Van Halen concert, and kept me from dancing the night away...again.

Leona G. is one of my good MySpace friends and I called her on the phone to tell her all the gory details surrounding the terrible event, when she asked me if I had blogged about it. I blog about everything else in the world, and actually I had blogged about the stone but on my Dwindling Author site, not this one. I keep a running journal about my diet, so the fact that I would be way-laid for a while was something important enough to mention online. I think the surgery will be performed Monday morning, I'll be home by 3:00 p.m. sleeping the afternoon, evening, night, and next morning away, but hopefully by Tuesday 3:00 p.m. I should be able to answer e-mails and/or post really cool stitches pictures! Just kidding. I won't do that to you.

Actually, Leona wanted me to write about my surgery to see if someone I love and care about really actually gave a rat's behind that I would be under the knife. She's right you know, what if I died on the table. This poor man would have no idea that his stalker was dead. I don't believe I would be given leave in Heaven to come back to him to let him know I had entered ahead of him. I love the fact that he's a Christian, we'll be stalking each other eternally I suppose. So, Gary darling, just in case you're in the caring mood, feeling the need to contact me, please do so, it may be a real uplifting booster for me. Faith is coming to the hospital to give me an official visit. I think that's nice of her - she's a healer you know.

Besides being in level 10 pain for several hours on the 22nd, I was placed on morphine for a while to calm the pain. At one point Dr. Blackwell even gave me Nitro for my heart's irregular actions...scary, but because of the morphine I didn't really remember the Nitro until I was showering this very afternoon, two days later. I called my mom to see if she remembered it. She had, and I was shocked to find out that I wasn't dreaming - so now maybe I should also feel a bit embarrassed about the things I THINK is may have said...no need to blush, I'm sure I held myself in check for the most part.

Gall bladders can be such nasty friends can't they? On one hand they work to help us digest foods, and on the other (did you know gall bladders had hands?) they work against us if we eat the wrong food - the very food they are designed to destroy. Well, that only tells me that in the beginning Adam and Eve were not eating fatty and fried foods. Truth is, I don't either! I think I'm the only person in the world eating perfectly correct that has a stone! This fact upsets me. I should ask for my money back - except I didn't pay anyone for the gall bladder, it was a gift from my parents in 1961.

I've decided to make a list for Dr. Jay Cannon. He'll be performing the surgery on Monday. I'll ask him to not only remove the ONE stone, the gall bladder itself really, but to also take another few extra pounds of flab, fat, or otherwise unnecessary weight just hanging around the abdominal area. He can keep it for science purposes. He can also, if he has time, reduce the breasts, lift them, remove the spider veins, maybe a varicose vein or two, and oh...yes, the moles, he should find a few minding their own business on the chest area, pluck them please Sir, thank you.

No? Well, a girl can ask. Write me and tell me you love me. I know I love you! Kiss kiss.

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