Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Trail Mix Diet


Well, it must be working! I'm on the road to being thin again - all thanks to the dedication, the devoted hours of forcing myself to not eat what I want, and to only partake in sinful eating habits when and ONLY when completely necessary. You know, like when there's a party and you're expected to be polite - Imagine me going around calling everyone in my address book (and others I had hardly known) to ask when they were planning their next soiree! But a woman has to eat chocolate - so that particular dietary supplement is not banned. In fact, the cacao is actually close to being worshipped in my life - above coffee, and that's saying something.
I really had to laugh out loud a few times this weekend. A few of my old colleagues from a school I was nearly fired from got together with the 110 students that I loved and cherished, we're planning a real time get-togeher, a day where we can hug, and talk, and get real again - without the darned administration hanging on us. I had to laugh because when I met with the two teachers who were behind all the hush-hush planning, they didn't recognize me. "Ms. Stringfellow, you were fat! What happened?" I wanted to punch the woman in the arm, but she was right - when she last saw me I was rather portly. I had been gaining because of the emmense stress that the job brought to me. Here I was trying to teach English to a group of beautiful (mostly alien) kids from Mexico, and I was being told that I couldn't use humor! Me, not use humor! Please - something had to give - and so they gave me my pink slip! (I won the vote in the subsequent hearing though - you can't simply walk a teacher because you don't like to see the kids laugh.)
Yes, the diet is worming its way through me ever so slowly - but in another 6 to 8 weeks I should be seeing even better results. When the kids see me - that will be hilarious! I'm hoping to show up in some of THEIR style clothing just to freak them out - short capri pants which were always being banned from the school because they showed calves (but dresses were OK? What's up with that?) I may even don a couple of tanks, layered bright colors, a bright lime green push-up bra so the straps show off really good - I remember laughing myself when I saw the girls trying to adjust themselves in class just to show off the color of their bra straps to who - the OTHER GIRLS! Boys don't care if you're wearing a lacy, pink bra with rhinestones - but the girls care! They love to call each other names, and giggle - hoping to find the same lingerie in their size for a price they can talk their cousin into buying - moms won't do it, has to be explained to dad, and cousins are the only way to get that done! (Learned that from the kids I taught - great cousin relations mean the world!)
So, trail mix rather than lunch, good eggs and soy chunks for breakfast, maybe a little eggplant on a slice of toasted pita, panini style with mozzarella! Oooooh, you got a day's full intake - the trail mix is the secret - it's all day, graze a little here, graze a little there - keep that water coming, and BAM! You're looking like the Queen you were definitely meant to be - well, you should be in my dreams. I'm already there - and I look gooooood. My daughter just about slapped me this morning when I put on one of her Hot Topic skirts - to be honest, I'm not there yet - not that I'll get there soon either, but it was sure fun to watch her face twist up and over like it did - the dance down the hall was the clincher - she died! She just keeled over right there - she'll probably never wear the thing again. Hahahaha...love that power we Moms have! Love that power.

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