I'm always teasing Reuben (I call him Baby Boy) because he's such a boy at times. He says or does things that just makes me giggle inside with either hysteria or pride; and sometimes both. He can be so blunt! He can be so upfront! Some would call it rude, or harsh if they heard what he says in the dead of the night to me when he calls. It's really a good thing he calls me at 2:00 in the morning, as often times I incorporate what he's had to say into my dreams and there's NO WAY I can blame him for what I thought I heard him say.
I do worry about him when he says things like "Well Mom, I'm going into the artillary field for a few days and I don't think they'll let me call you. Sgt. So-and-So will call you if I die and you'll get a bunch of money." That always sends red flags up in my head - NO, wait, what are you saying boy? They're setting you out into the real field with real guns and real bullets? Who are these people? Do they realize you're my only son? Do you realize that real bullets make big holes in a person if shot directly into them? He's going to stop telling me his day to day schedule if I don't stop freaking out. Last week it was "Hi Mom, I love you - oh, guess what, I got knocked off my tank and thought I broke my ankle, but didn't. I'm OK - the guy I landed on is still in the hospital though." So, I woke up the next day thinking I was imagining it - all was well. Boy's OK...surely, the other guy calls his mom in the middle of the night and gurgles to her that he's been flattened and is currently in the base hosptial being treated for broken bones and suffocation.
My daughters aren't any better - we believe in the direct approach when it comes to information. They let me know straight up what's going on, but I will say that Reuben's a little more lax about it. He never seems to understand the impact his words, and in some cases his body actually has on people. Caity and I went to dinner last night at the Olive Garden. She wanted a few more bread sticks so she asked the waiter for them. He came up to us, and she made an overt movement with her head, cocking it to the side and saying outloud "He has a nice butt!" He was still standing there. She smiled. He blushed. He left. I grabbed a breadstick and shook my head. Laura's a bit more considerate. When I took her to the mall Sunday, (took Caity too, and the two of them serenaded me throughout the entire mall, dancing around me, singing and kissing my face and head over and over again - everyone knew I was THEIR mother on my 21st Mother's Day.) and she (Laura) put on a maternity shirt - for giggles. "Mom, there's something you should know" was her only comment - if it hadn't been so funny I would have broke down in tears. (Mary holds the record for having the ONLY virgin birth)
So, there you go - Mom's worry - we do that. We think people are coming out from nowhere to steal our kids, and then some days we go behind buildings and stones just looking for people who could possibly give us a break for a few days - they could take them, maybe call with a reasonable ransom request - I could set up a payment plan with them and visit the kids from time to time. Does it work that way? No? Fine! Now that they can almost feed themselves, I think it may be time to let them try walking alone at the mall - what am I saying? That'll never happen - they love embarrassing me too much.