Sunday, April 22, 2007

Three Souls - Three Blessings - Three Pains!

How can a mother (like me) give birth to three separate people, (Reuben, Laura & Caity) and have three so completely different souls, personalities, and/or personas dwell together in complete united-disharmony? No, incase you're wondering about the professor of English at this point, the jointed or hyphenated word united-disharmony is NOT a real word. I made it up to make a point - call it creative license. My three babies are so discombobulated when they try to form a concensus that the only thing that gets resolved is the stale fact that nothing will ever be resolved if left to the three to make the resolution. It is NOT going to happen. There is simply NO WAY I can die - they couldn't decide what to do with me! I could spell it out and write it in my own blood on parchment and they'd argue that it wasn't fully explained.

Reuben has a one-way mind. The boy gets an idea into his head and goes with it. GOES ALL THE WAY with it, and drives it through the ground, not just into it. The boy has no reverse and worse, no speed control - he's off to the races immediately, and worse than a bull in a china shop, the boy rams through the windows of the shop before realizing he's knocked 15 pedestrians on his way to the plate glass - NO STOPPING REUBEN once he has an idea - the trick it to feed him bits and pieces at a time, and shift in a couple of solutions (food for thought) as you're informing him.

Laura: Same idea, but all she needs is 1/15 of the idea before she begins analyzing it, dissecting it, mangling it with facts (always hung up on the facts, that girl) and she begins to categorize the idea, the thought, and stops on a dime to get the next 1/15 - if you haven't choked her for her way of thinking outloud, offering advise, retracting it to think of a better or more sufficient method - and if you haven't, she's quick to remind you of what it was that she was planning to do with the first 1/15 of the idea before you were planning to take it away - because she's always damn sure that you're thinking of taking it away and giving HER 1/15 of an idea to Caity.

Caity: Flips you off, turns around and could actually care less about you, your idea, your thought, or your anything - narcissism is a euphonism for CAITY. If you want Caity to do something you must find a creative and manipulative way to present the desire in such a way that it will not only benefit her, it must have somehow been her idea - credit her with the idea. Give it all to her (that's where Laura gets the thought that I'm taking away HER 1/15 of an idea and giving it to Caity...because I have to most of the time if I need cooperation.) Caity is just simply too important to be bothered. Until she wants you. Like a cat I think. You can't get one to pay a bit of attention to you, but when they want to - they crawl all over you, getting their fur stuffed up your nose...Yes, Caity is a great deal like that.

So, why is it that God decided that I needed three categorically opposing souls to live with me? What am I trying to learn? What was His plan? Oh, probably something pretty simple like : Hey Jude, you sinned, remember? Deal with these for a while - I'll let you out of it in about 25-30 years and you won't owe me eternity in Hell! Good plan.

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