Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Stringfellow - DeLisle Connection

I had the WHOLE thing worked out. It was perfect - a perfect plan. Why do kids screw things up? I have three children, all perfect, all beautiful. There are three perfect and beautiful DeLisle children as well - all age appropriate - and lucky for everyone involved, sex-appropriate too. Since none of the DeLisle children are gay, and my three are not gay - it was a tight little plan that would have meant history in the making for the two families.

Reuben (my eldest) would marry Ashley DeLisle. They're both Army, they've worked together, known each other for years. He loved her, she loved him - but NO, Ashley has to go off with a guy named Tarl, and where my son is actually dating and wanting to marry another girl named Ashley - it's not the same. The plan will not work.

Laura, my usually and most generally obedient child (2nd) was to marry George DeLisle - handsome, rugged, smiles all the time, and has a twin brother who isn't even mentioned because he's already married, and George called him a phantom at one point. I wasn't sure he was alive until I saw double, two Georges in a photograph a year ago last Thanksgiving. Laura was to marry George - so why is Laura now dating Ricky DeLisle, the little brother that was suppose to marry Caity?

Caity (my 3rd) couldnt' possibly marry George - the two would be too explosive. George needed Laura's kindness to even out his aggressiveness, and Caity (my aggressive one) needed Ricky to even out her's. Who came up with the idea that Ricky could now date Laura? He called last night for CAITY...that's it, it's CAITY...she did this. She passed Ricky to Laura without my permission, and now George, poor George, who is somewhere out in the deserts of Iraq - also Army, will be devastated not only to find out that his older sister isn't marrying my son, but that his little brother has cockholded him (not really, but you know) and is now dating Laura.

Jason! That's the other guy's name. Jason. I don't have a fourth kid. This isn't going to work - dangit. I wanted all the cousins to look alike and get confused at family reunions in about 10 years. That would have been so much fun....nevermind....it's all ruined now. Thanks Reuben, thanks Caity...at least Laura is hanging on to one of the DeLisles. (But poor, poor George!)

Update: Jason and George are still regular Army, Ashley has re-enlisted with the Army National Guard, and Ricky, now 18, has signed up for the National Guard as well - I believe Army, so hooah to every one of you DeLisles - prayers and love go out to you. (Even you and Tarl, Ashley! I can't believe you turned down the best man in the world!) :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How awsome, i can't belive you wrote about me and my brothers, i'm flatterd! Sorry me and my brothers spoiled your plans.