Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Fantasy - Tomboy Style

I got to thinking about the whole Tomboy thing - but the thing is, I was thinking about it while fantasizing! When I fantasize I'm usually not at some beach resort in Maui or Malibu, maybe Panama City, but never CA. I'm usually fantasizing while walking the aisles of Home Depot! Now, THAT'S a Tomboy!

I was actually employed by Home Depot for about 48 hours once but the part time position interfered with my kids' schedules and I was unable to see my son play football - HELL no....I have priorities. The fantaszing thing came pretty early on, probably when Home Depot first opened. I can walk through the store now and it only takes me - say, 3 hours. There was a time I opened and closed it down while roaming, thinking, pretending, and make-believing...I'm more streamline at this point. I tend to have the same 3 bedroom condo with a little back yard in my dreams at this stage - in Chicago.

Oh, the things I can do in my dreams! I even know how to put in a new kitchen sink now - by myself. You know those university classes they do on weekends. I've even made little birdhouses, race cars, tool boxes, and learned how to spackle! I am a spackle queen people - I can spackle with one hand and smoke my rolled tea in the other (I haven't blogged about my habit of smoking Earl Grey yet - perhaps tomorrow.) ANNNNDDD, I will add that in nearly every one of my little fantasies, whether I'm wearing an orange apron or NOT, I am a perfect size 8, I wear my jeans rolled up, I have zero clutter in my house, my dog never wakes me up at 4:00 a.m. to go pee - and get this: My girls live somewhere else! Yes, you know I'm full of it now! Laura will be living under my roof until that freakin' roof caves in, then she'll be living under my armpit to stay dry! I will probably never shake that one - but I have a plan: Laura hates Home Depot! Yes! I can go there from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. and at least have a 1/2 day of peace and my room stays clean if I can't be there to see her making the mess! (dreaming again outloud)

Oh, the fantasy life...who would want to come back to reality? Why can't I just wake up, go to Starbucks, load up with a Quad Wet Cappucino, head out to the Depot - and dream...why? Because I have to pay bills, I have to drive kids, I have to make appointments, I have to get the mail, I have to run errands, I have to drum up work - I have to make money so I can go to Home Depot and get one of the pieces of peace that will eventually be my hide-away. Today it was a little plant I'm calling Cahill for Eddie Cahill of was tall and attractive, had a little edge to it, a little sticky-prickly not bad, and I thought "Why not! Cahill is just as good a name as anything else for a plant!" I'll set it next to Brooklyn my other little potted guy, and they can talk.

Well, the phone just rang - kids need to be picked up from the mall. I had my license when I was 16, Laura turns 18 in a few days - no license. Reuben was 19, Caity won't ever get one because of her history with the cops...what is this? No one told me when I was growing up that kids were such a pain in my backside - you get a really good fantasy going, and they are so fast to remind you that reality bites! You know what, in my Home Depot world - they stay in the carpet section. I never go there. I want wood floors!

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