Saturday, February 17, 2007

Outed!

Well, it was bound to happen!

There I was in the mall, with my best friend - I go to the mall on a weekly with my best friend, sometimes we "do it" two times a week...go to the mall, or the bookstore that is. We don't have sex because - well, we're both hetrosexual, she's married, and even if we were lesbians there's no way in hell she'd be my type. She's perfect for a best friend mind you, but I'm a thigh lover, and....nevermind. Jeannie and I met in high school, it was my first day as a sophomore, she was a senior - our friends left us alone and we were forced to become friends or die alone in the halls of unpopularity and the mayhem of hormonial hell that wracked so many, and seemed to be plaguing everyone EXCEPT she and I. We were the last virgins I think, that ever walked on the campus. When the 70's were gone there were simply no more virgins...nope, they all got laid a lot earlier, and they had more partners, and they were experienced smokers too. We, Jeannie and I, hadn't even dreamed of drinking, smoking, toking, or driving wrecklessly, we walked everywhere we went!

So, today - 27 1/2 years after I graduated, 29 1/2 years since the day we met (I skipped my junior year incase you're doing the math and think I can't), out of the proverbial closet comes a couple of ladies we were classmates with who in the 70's, late 70's, we're not that old, thought that Jeannie and I were gay - together. I used to laugh it off, but it really upset Jeannie. She'd say "I don't think so, she's Republican!" That usually warded off the next line of questions. Like I said, she's a great best friend, we can get nasty in some of our more political debates such as "Should Obama win - he's cuter than Rudy"... I don't actually participate in that one, I let her talk and I just nod my head and think about how Obama is going to ding-dong the Wicked Witch in order to make it to the championship game!

The ladies looked us over, they smiled and waved us down. We were obliged (Southern thing) to have a Coke (Water thanks) with them in the courtyard and hear how they met up again after the 15th year reunion a "few" years back, and how they were both married at the time, but realized they had both made mistakes with men, and wanted only to cultivate their relationship - but they were sure happy to see that we had continued ours! Again...she drives like a maniac, I never let her drive anywhere, and everytime we go anywhere she flips someone off! I could never be gay with Jeannie....but whenever I feel like flipping someone off I just have to point, so that's cool, I've got that. She's better at it really, she has a flare with her hand sort of thing...

I showed the girls my kids, they showed me their kids - and the new little girl from Asia that they adopted about 8 years ago, she was off with friends today. Jeannie showed a few pictures and talked about her daughter's wedding and all the things that go along with love - being so close to Valentine's Day. That's when it hit me...Damn. I'm straight, always have been, never couldn't be, and the TomBoy in me has forever made people think that I either swing both ways, or that I'm finally saying I'm out! No...sorry, just not into feminine things really - well, sometimes, but I'd rather wear sweats, jeans, Chucks, and tee's over lace and heels. I was a dang gymnast for too long, walked bowlegged I guess from the thigh bulges, and I still climb trees. I was up on top of my house the other day thinking and a man thought I was going to fall off - why? Can't a woman sit on top of her own house without someone fearing for her safety?

As a kid I was the girl with the snake in my pocket, the frog in a jar with holes poked in the top of the lid, and I'd dig him out to play with him during recess. I was the girl punching the boys in the stomach when they called me sissy, I was the girl you remember eating ear wax to prove I was tough - or maybe I wanted them to think I could do anything. I fought on the ground, and I wore the holes out of my knees pitching pennies, crawling under houses to collect old beer bottles from the neighbors porches, (5 cents each) and I was the girl who blew her nose on the tail of her shirt and tucked it in if it made you sick to watch - I've grown up a little. I asked my old friends today if it bothered them that I was straight and comfortable in baggie pants, Converse and shorter hair...I could curl it if it made them feel better. They hugged me tight, told me I was me, I was the same me I had always been, and they hoped I'd never change.

I like me. I don't mind saying that. I really like the person I've become. I'm far more tolerant than I ever thought I would be - education does that for a person if nothing else. I've become more aware of the nuances that subtling make the biggest differences to some, but not to others. I've learned to be content in just about every financial situation because I've been in just about every financial situation a thousand times...and I've learned to love to love, and to respect the love that others love, and to know that the love I know is real...because I offer it freely to whom I choose. So, I'll say it - JEANNIE..I LOVE YOU!!! You're my BEST BEST BEST Friend. But I'll never in a million years have sex with you girl....sorry, hope you're good with that! (Something tells me she's relieved to know it!)

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